623lbs, Trying to Get Going Again

shopgirl1400

So many posts, Lots of love! I did not read all of them but for me what we think is the problem is NOT the problem. This has been very helpful to me and that is why I am sharing. I did a mind body program. Understanding our beliefs is so crucial. We all know what we need to do but why don't we do it??? I AM NOT a salesperson but after my third child I am working with the same program I did before but this time it is online. This is a new grassroots program, so not perfect, but the results are there and not just in weight loss. Don't love the marketing method but the program, which has live, just for you coaching is amazing. www.Marci90.com

If you have questions let me know. Also Byron Katie is a wonderful resource for dealing with our thoughts about ourselves and others.

mbelle97

I agree with the others. Start small, like logging everything for a whole week (and more) or cutting out one particular item, such as soda. You can do thiS!

Pixi_Rex

As much as its hard being the size that I am right now, the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think.

Why restrict your self of the things you love? I love all food, seriously - food = my best friend some days ( sad I know and I have no emotional attachement to the foods, I just love eating and cooking, and smelling) BUT there is a limit. I have roughly 100 pounds to lose (ticker says 5 more because if it says more... I quit)

I still eat all the food I love - ALL of it, I just eat way way less of it than I used to. Fast food? about once a month now instead of once a week.

I eat smaller portions, instead of eating out of the chip bag, I buy the small personal sized bags, if I buy bigger I go home and portion it out, or take my portion and give the rest to my brothers so I don't eat it all. I work it into my day so I don't feel like I am giving up anything.

I have never been your size so I wont say I undstand but you have to want to do this. Some days it sucks, and you will want to quit, just remember tomorrow is better. If you make a mistake learn from it, move on and don't dwell on it.

It is not a straight line, you will have ups, you will have downs, you will get stuck and you will want to just throw in the towel, stick it out its worth it.

Start slow - don't expect things to just happen over night, it took a while to get this big, it will take a while to get smaller.
Work on your calorie in take first and I know some people will disagree do not worry about the macros. Eat healthy, but don't sacrafice your favorites - I have found ways of making my favorites healthier.

Read blogs, search for recipes that sound like you will like them. Experiement but do not give up.

dbmata

I have nothing to add except: I wish you the best of luck. It is important to take a large goal and break it up into little milestones, even daily ones, and hit those.

For example, yesterday you were under 4k calories. Do it for a week, then drop down to 3500, work on that. Increase movement within bounds where you can get time exercising, but not hurt yourself, start with 10 minutes, increase to 15, etc.

You will have a very difficult challenge in front of you. Stay strong, and take it a step at a time.

triathlete5301

the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think.
....
So yeah, its kind of crazy, but I feel that the stress of being about to diet has actually been making me a bad eater lately.
...
Having now GAINED 10 more pounds since I started at MFP, rather than lose 20 (which was my goal) is a little disheartening. But, yesterday I was under 4,000 calories for the first time, so I'm very proud of that. Any thoughts on how to turn this into a long term success?

Congratulations on not giving up. Here are some suggestions that helped me when I started out. For me, the biggest key to success has been making very small changes, and NEVER calling anything "off limits".

1) Don't look at this as a diet. It's not a diet. It's just a change from what you do now. Keep repeating that to yourself. You're just making a series of small changes. DO NOT MAKE HUGE CHANGES TO YOUR EATING - that's how you set yourself up for failure. The key is to make small tweaks, and to stick with them until they become habit. Then make other small tweaks, until THEY become habit, etc. etc...

2) Do NOT eliminate any foods from your repertoire. If you eat it now, keep eating it. Nothing is "off limits". For me, if something is off limits, I MUST HAVE IT. When I know that I can eat french fries anytime I want, I don't feel a need to gorge myself on them. "I'll have them again soon."

3) Don't be afraid to leave food on your plate, even if that food is AMAZING. I used to go to restaurants and finish an entire meal, even if I wasn't hungry anymore, because it was "just too good to waste". Well, I got over that, and it really helped. Just like I said to myself in #2 - "I can eat this again soon, and it will be just as good next time."

4) Don't restrict your calories too much at the outset. Make small (200 calorie) adjustments to your daily calorie goal every few weeks, which will help your body adjust and will keep you from feeling too restricted too quickly.

Most importantly, seek the assistance of a doctor and/or nutritionist. And, if you get advice from them that doesn't feel right for you (be sure to check whether it doesn't feel right because it's bad advice or if you just don't like it), keep looking for medical support that you'll benefit from.

Good luck!

*edited for grammar

^^ This!

It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Don't restrict yourself. everytime something is off limits, I want it even more. Instead, I ask myself if the calories are worth it to me. If they are, ok. If they aren't, I chose something that's similar in satisfaction.

Remember to do baby steps. Maybe focus on how much water you drink. Water will help keep you full. Drink water before a meal and see if it helps you stay full.

You may need to consider talking with someone about the emotional part of the eating. That's a big issue with me and my sister is an emotional over eater. It's very difficult when you are stressed about your weight and food is your comfort. It is not a good cycle.

Also, remember you do NOT have to be perfect every day! But, just because you make a bad decision here or there during the day doesn't mean that you have to throw your entire plan out of the window. It's just a bump in the road.

Take it day by day, step by step. The weight didn't come on overnight and it won't come off overnight. Slow and sure will get you there!

Reach out to us when you need help! Good luck!

salgalbp

Hey Girlfriend! I'm SO glad you're still here and just wanted to say hello, I'm routing for you and don't give up!!! We're all here for the same reason and that is our health. We're in it together, one day at a time!
Sal

Brownsbacker4evr

Good job wanting to make the effort. Step one: done. Now put your plan into action. No matter what this thing is going to take time and the more you stay positive and keep working at it is time you are cutting to get closer to your goal. Focus on small goals. I was on the brink of 400lbs before. Start slow and work your way up, find a solid exercise and eating regimen that fits your abilities, and get a good support system-- plenty of amazing folk on here, some very similar to your situation as well. Feel free to add me, would love to come along and help support any way I can. I am rooting for you.

iulia_maddie

I remember reading your first post. I am so glad that you're still on MFP.
So you gained some weight. So? You are still here, still fighting. You'll do better.
Good luck, and feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.

jeansuza

Have a diary where you put every single little positive events of the day. It will improve your self-esteem. If life looks better to you, eveything will be easier (dieting, exercising, smiling!) Do it for you!

jjspw

"the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think."

Don't think of this journey as a "diet". Just the word "diet" scares people. It's also not about not eating what you enjoy -- it's about eating LESS of what you enjoy.

One of the biggest problems people have is that they eat until they're stuffed, uncomfortable, but have a clean plate. Stop eating when you feel sated, just before you feel full. This will save you a lot of calories, but you can still eat what you love.

Don't deny yourself treats or cravings. If you're really craving a doughnut, for example, go get one. But eat one or two bites, just to get the taste/texture of it, then dump the rest of it. The couple of bites will satisfy the craving, but won't pack on all the extra (unnecessary) calories.

Begin to incorporate more lean proteins and fiber into your diet -- that's lean meats, soy, Greek yogurt, beans, fruits & veggies. Protein and fiber are a lot more filling than fats and carbs -- the 100 calories of broccoli is a hell of a lot more filling than 100 calories of potato chips. Protein and fiber are easy to incorporate into your diet. Start with simple substitutions, like ground turkey for ground beef in a hamburger. Add a side of roasted cauliflower to your meal instead of pasta. Also, if you have a salad or vegetable side dish, eat that first -- then, you'll be less hungry for the rest of your meal, and ultimately end up consuming fewer calories (but the calories you DO consume will be of the good stuff).

kerriberry74

I'm not sure where I even want to start. It's great that you are opening up and reaching out again. I skimmed over your original post and some of the fantastic responses filled with a lot of great ideas. I'm a bit concerned. You recognize that you want to/need to make a change, but you also fear having to give up the things you love and seem to be missing the willpower to do so. So, here goes:

1. It might not hurt to have some professional help in order for you to move forward: having a dietitian or even someone close to you who will hold you accountable for your diet, maybe even see a therapist to get to the bottom of why moving ahead is so difficult.

2. I checked out your diary and there are a lot of missing days. Be honest and consistent, even if it isn't pretty. That right there will give you something to start with. Where can you change/switch things out? There were a lot of responses mentioning making small changes to start with ie. swap out the soda with water or the chocolate milk with regular milk. Add more fruit and veggies in gradually.

3. Diet is a very restricting word. Look at it as more as a change in lifestyle- you don't have to give up everything just to get healthy. Moderation is the key.

4. Cook. Make an effort to try new foods/cooking techniques. Get acquainted with a bevy of herbs and spices. This way, you will have more control over what goes into your food. Processed food is loaded with bad stuff. The sodium alone is a killer.

5. While getting exercise may be difficult at the moment, again, check out some of the responses from your original post. There are a lot of good ideas- chair workouts, gradually increasing movement, ect. Do you have access to a pool? That would be a huge help.

There are a lot of people on here who want to see you succeed, but you are the only one who can do it. If you need motivation/uplifting, just look back at the comments others have made. Change is scary, but you won't move forward without it. We're all rooting for you... Good luck!

B2theE2theVerly

Thanks for posting this Dani i have to lose 200 pounds and i have to say the people that post sure have inspired me i hope it does the same for u. Thanks for your time
I have COPD and have to lose 200 pounds so i started waking my age (51) in steps and i do that now a couple of times a day when i started out 1 time a day! sooooooooooooooooo good luck to us and no more soda girllllllllllll cold Ice water will take the place of that Well for me it did Just saying ( i hate soda now )

RachaelStJ

Hey Dani,

It's amazing what you are doing; it will be tough but you can and will do it!

I am big time into junk and processed foods. I've been slowly changing my old favorites for new ones. There is an awesome app/website called Fooducate. You can put in ANY food and they show you a healthier alternative. And like everybody else is saying, baby steps! Rome wasn't built in a day after all. :flowerforyou:

Sending a friend request your way and I look forward to supporting you on your journey!

Rachael

AllThatWeightlossJazz

I am proud of you. I know that even posting this was a big deal for you.

Try to get out of the mindset of dieting. Diets are temporary. You're making a lifestyle change. Eat as clean as you can, stay towards the outside of the store when shopping and get moving. You don't have to run a marathon right off the bat, simply do what you can.

I have nearly 200lbs to loose. Let's do this thing!

I am pulling for you!

LauriePar

I have sent you a friend request. Wow, there are so many great ideas and responses. You have come to the right place for great moral support!

centarix

So much great advice here. I'm just going to give my own motivational quote for weight loss:

1) TRY
2) FAIL
3) LEARN
4) RETRY

But wait, where is SUCCESS?? You will find that most of the time we are all trying to achieve our goal. No one can say they achieved ALL their weight loss goals. If someone stopped eating healthy today, then they will gain much of the weight they already loss.

So long story short, dont feel like you need to reach a certain *Point*... keep trying and never give up


I SO believe in YOU, and you are going to inspire a lot of people in your journey. Best of luck!

TAMayorga

One final thing - you will have a phenomenal amount of muscle, because you're carrying around 600lbs on a daily basis. There are professional weightlifters who can't move that much weight! Don't lose it! Walk. Bend. Pick stuff up and put it down again. You don't have start full on resistance/weight training now, but you'll have so much lean mass compared to most women that if you can hold onto it you'll look great as the fat comes off!

Welcome back! I agree with this ^^^. One of the things I try to do for myself is MOVE. Every time I have a choice of whether to sit still or move, I move. When waiting for the bus, I pace back and forth. When reading the paper, I pace back and forth (in the hall so I don't bump into things). Yes, I get weird looks, but after a while, people have become used to me. And when I tell them I have a pedometer app on my phone, they nod knowingly.

I read on another post where someone said to put the laundry basket on the floor and bend to pick up each item one at a time as you fold it. You get the picture. Little things add up and as you get used to moving, your body will become stronger, more fit, more flexible and it'll feel GOOD to move.

Best wishes and GOOD LUCK! :flowerforyou:

CoderGal

Any thoughts on how to turn this into a long term success?

What is your calorie goal set to?

Find out your TDEE, don't hit it, eat below it. Measure accurately, don't cheat yourself. Don't yo yo...instead of trying to eat far below your TDEE, and then feeling starved the next day, progress yourself into eating slightly less. Do not try to eat as little as possible and gorge the next day. Try to keep consistent. If the calorie goal you have isn't realistic for you, change it. It's important for you to lose at that weight, but turning it into a speed test is sometimes counteractive.

And I agree with the other posters above. Move. Don't overdo it. Ease yourself into it. Resistance training would have you looking so fantastic compared to without it, I highly recommend it.

LSUsweetiepie84

you can do this! there are ups and downs in any weight loss journey- yours started with an up, but you know what mine did too!!! what helped me is stop thinking of it as a diet, but start thinking of it as a new healthier lifestyle... and change one thing at at time, baby steps works best for me!

start by cutting out calorie drinks and add in more water- you can use crystal light or lemon/lime to flavor it. I have one cup of coffee in the morning and other than that I stick to 100% water! its great to clean yourself out and help prevent mindless snacking when you arent really hungry!

then try eating cleaner- add in more veggies and fruits and eat less and less pre-packaged foods- lean cuisines make me hungry, they dont even scratch the surface of my hunger, but a 6oz piece of grilled chicken breast with some veggies can keep me full and usually has about the same calories.

you got this!! just take it one food choice at a time, dont eat junk all day just because you mess up one meal, eat good the rest of the day- I used to be really bad at that and its helped me.

not sure if these will help you or not, but they helped me!

good luck to you!

LaurenVamp

I believe in you! Just take it one day at a time. Don't look at it as a diet, but a healthy lifestyle change! After all, you don't necessarily have to cut so much all at once. Just eat what you love as long as it fits into your macros. Once you start losing, THEN you can focus more on getting the nutrients and certain foods you need to fuel your weight loss even more.