My husband won't diet with me

ldrosophila

Lose weight.

Have an affair.

That'll motivate him.

LOL oh there will probably be ugrading

Espressocycle

Why don't you just cook less food?

ldrosophila

besides the sarcasm...

he has to make the choice. Tell him you love him and worried he wont be around long enough to see his Grandkids. Then he has to make the choice.

gobraves47

Let him be responsible for what goes in his mouth. Give him a healthy portion and if he wants more or something else, then let him fix it himself. You can't really do anything except prepare healthy meals. Until it clicks with him, it's no use nagging. Just be a good example with your eating and exercise habits.

ShellyBell999

It can be difficult to motivate someone to change a lifetimes worth of habits.

Until he is ready to make the changes for himself there isn't much you can do other than trying some of the advice handed out;

Lead by example

Make less food

Honest conversation

BJ offer for every pound lost

cwolfman13

"Wifely Submission....."



Never heard of it....my wife just puts her foot up my *kitten* when I do something she doesn't like.

laserturkey

When I cook, I sometimes scale recipes so they make exactly the amount we will all eat. If that's not convenient for a particular recipe, it helps to pack up the leftovers for the fridge or freezer at the same time as dinner plates are being dished up.

You need to take charge of your own health and let him handle his, but having less extra food or less junk food around will make it easier for him to make better choices.

rosemaryhon

That sounds like a really whiny topic title, doesn't it?
Let me explain, I don't want to force my husband to diet with me. I believe in wifely submission, it's not my job to tell him what to do, or make him feel guilty. But it seems like since I've been eating less he's started eating more. He's gotten in the habit of just eating whatever's left after I dish out mine and the kid's plates. But with me eating less there's more left, but he still just piles it all on to his plate. The other night I had a scoop of ice cream and I asked him what he wanted and he say asked for 2 scoops with cool whip and hot fudge, he would normally just have the 2 scoops. It's like he's going out of his way to fatten himself up. He already weighs 370 and I'm pretty worried about his health. How do I get him to see how bad his choices are without nagging?

Now that you're eating less, perhaps you can adjust down the portions you cook/set out? In this way there'll be less for him to finish off the dinnertable?

Also I'd imagine if you're cooking healthier/lighter he'll just naturally benefit.

My husband is naturally slender, although he's gotten a bit of a belly the last few years (probably due to my formerly often serving gravy, dinner rolls, high fat/carb everything LOL and too I used to offer him ice cream/cake for dessert). He hasn't any desire to 'diet' with me and yet he's probably gonna slim down a bit if only because the dinners I serve are more veggie/lean meat/fish based and for snacking I now offer him sherbert or pretzels.

Good luck!

susanmc31

He doesn't have to diet with you either.


Lead by example. When he wants to, he will.

This is what I did and after 8 months of me getting up early to go to the gym he started getting up early and going to the gym. Do what's right for you and he will hopefully be motivated to do the same for himself.

Calliope610

Lemme guess. You didn't start your efforts to lose weight until you were good and ready to, right? Your husband will do something when he is good and ready to. The best thing now is be a good example. End of story.

GracefulDancer4Christ

wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.

nikistokes

I knew my husband wouldn't diet with me if he knew he were dieting. He likes meat and 2 veg, not salad and veg. So, I've been making the sort of food he likes, but lower calorie.

I've been cooking from the Hairy Dieters Cook Book (they are popular chefs in the uk) - the book is full of the sort of foods he likes - Spanish chicken (chicken thighs with chorizo, peppers, onions, etc), chilli beef, low-calorie cheese and onion pasties, low fat 'fakeaways' (curries and chinese meals etc), dry-fried bacon with a poached egg etc. There's even a recipe for skinny lasagne (you use leeks instead of pasta!)

I also use a one-pot meals book I've had for ages and choose lower calorie meals.

He has no idea he's eating less calories but he's happy because the food is tasty.

2FatToRun

Simple solution to the point where you mentioned he finishes everyone else's plates...

COOK FRICKING LESS FOR EVERYONE! That way there's no real excuse there :devil:

Why is it on her to take actions to secretly prevent him from consuming so much? He needs to take responsibility for his own life she is not his mother, she is his wife. It should be a 50/50 healthy relationship and it isn't. One of them needs to get with the program and one needs to stop SERVING him the stuff that is making this an issue.

jackpotclown

just.......break............him of those annoyingly bad habits and you'll be alright \m/

paintlisapurple

My husband won't exercise with me either, in fact it seems as if he's in denial about the whole "get healthy" thing.

Cr01502

wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.

Oh. I was thinking more whips and chains but that's cool too.

I guess.

luckyjuls

That sounds like a really whiny topic title, doesn't it?
Let me explain, I don't want to force my husband to diet with me. I believe in wifely submission, it's not my job to tell him what to do, or make him feel guilty. But it seems like since I've been eating less he's started eating more. He's gotten in the habit of just eating whatever's left after I dish out mine and the kid's plates. But with me eating less there's more left, but he still just piles it all on to his plate. The other night I had a scoop of ice cream and I asked him what he wanted and he say asked for 2 scoops with cool whip and hot fudge, he would normally just have the 2 scoops. It's like he's going out of his way to fatten himself up. He already weighs 370 and I'm pretty worried about his health. How do I get him to see how bad his choices are without nagging?

How about brutal honesty? If that doesnt work call your lawyer and make sure you have up to date life insurance and will signed and ready. Obviously he doesnt care he is fat and by what you said he isnt interested in changing it. Submission is archaic, you are an individual (atleast you were before you married him and gave up those rights) start acting like one. No one has the right to take that away from you and you shouldnt so willingly hand it over. Tell his fat *kitten* to get his own damn ice cream and quit contributing to his issues. Maybe he will get the hint and if not at least you will be an individual again (divorce)

You know, sometimes your posts frustrate me but I do appreciate your acerbic style. You're totally right with this comment.. Why should OP sit there and let her husband kill himself?

If she's making steps to improve her health, why is he rebelling? He might be afraid to lose you (I've heard this before from other posters) or be jealous. Seems like a psychological issue he might need to get under control.

He's your husband and 370 is not healthy at all. You have the right to voice your opinion since you're a team and have children together. Like others said, make less. And certainly don't keep dousing his two scoops in hot fudge and whipped cream.

saxmaniac

You're kidding yourself if you think you can make another person lose weight. Even if you buy and cook all the food in the house.

Thirty-five seconds and change from the couch at a donut shop, and all your efforts will be erased.

You worry about you.

Heaven71

Don't buy crap foods, don't cook so much, cook healthy foods, lead by example, keep up your journey and don't worry about him, he may or may not fall in to place. You may find that being overweight, unhealthy and eating are the only things you have in common.

Ummm wifely submission? This is a partnership, best friends and all, who has to be submissive?

dunadan

You had me at "wifely submission."


...No wait. Sorry, you LOST me at "wifely submission."

Ayup. The only place "wifely submission" has in any marriage is in the bedroom, accompanied by handcuffs and a safety word.

But I suspect that that is not the meaning that the OP had. Sorry, but any marriage not based on equality and respect is not a healthy one. Marital submission, in the religious sense, IMO, is about control and power, and in too many cases, abuse.

iWaffle

When he takes that extra scoop of ice cream smack him on the side of the head (fairly hard) and say something like "are you f*cking kidding me". Next time he goes for the extra scoop he will remember that smack and your b!tchy words. This will also lay down a great relationship dynamic.

LauraJo08

wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.

Excuse me while I go get sick. The archaic notion that a wife should be submissive to her husband is inequality at the least, abusive at its worst. I still can't believe that these beliefs in the natural role of a wife still exist in the developed world.

rosemaryhon

You need to stop putting foods like ice cream, syrup, and whip cream avaliable in the house. You are both examples for your children and they are going to develop bad habits....

I agree.

LittleMissDover

wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.

I respect and love my other half. He will never be the head of the household, we will be joint 'heads'.

Respect doesn't mean submission, respect means working together and compromise.

2FatToRun

That sounds like a really whiny topic title, doesn't it?
Let me explain, I don't want to force my husband to diet with me. I believe in wifely submission, it's not my job to tell him what to do, or make him feel guilty. But it seems like since I've been eating less he's started eating more. He's gotten in the habit of just eating whatever's left after I dish out mine and the kid's plates. But with me eating less there's more left, but he still just piles it all on to his plate. The other night I had a scoop of ice cream and I asked him what he wanted and he say asked for 2 scoops with cool whip and hot fudge, he would normally just have the 2 scoops. It's like he's going out of his way to fatten himself up. He already weighs 370 and I'm pretty worried about his health. How do I get him to see how bad his choices are without nagging?

How about brutal honesty? If that doesnt work call your lawyer and make sure you have up to date life insurance and will signed and ready. Obviously he doesnt care he is fat and by what you said he isnt interested in changing it. Submission is archaic, you are an individual (atleast you were before you married him and gave up those rights) start acting like one. No one has the right to take that away from you and you shouldnt so willingly hand it over. Tell his fat *kitten* to get his own damn ice cream and quit contributing to his issues. Maybe he will get the hint and if not at least you will be an individual again (divorce)

You know, sometimes your posts frustrate me but I do appreciate your acerbic style. You're totally right with this comment.. Why should OP sit there and let her husband kill himself?

If she's making steps to improve her health, why is he rebelling? He might be afraid to lose you (I've heard this before from other posters) or be jealous. Seems like a psychological issue he might need to get under control.

He's your husband and 370 is not healthy at all. You have the right to voice your opinion since you're a team and have children together. Like others said, make less. And certainly don't keep dousing his two scoops in hot fudge and whipped cream.

Yes I receive hate mail on a daily basis....it lets me know I made a point. Whether ppl agree is up to them. I am just glad you agree with me :laugh:

ashesfromfire

My pookie was pretty much the same way (except somehow that lucky b*sterd is 6'1" and weights no more than 170 no matter WHAT he eats!) but as soon as I started making better choices for myself, he started insisting on worse ones. This continued on for quite a few months. Honestly, I think he'd seen me try and fail at losing weight so many times over the last couple years that he didn't expect it to stick this time and, by wanting unhealthy things ALL THE TIME, would just get me out of this fitness funk and back to "normal" faster. But the months kept ticking by and I kept losing weight and I stuck with all my plans and kept surpassing goals - and after long enough he started getting on board! He started slow, just asking me if things he wanted to eat were healthy or not(we once had an hour long conversation just about sodium intake :laugh: ) Whenever he asked I wouldn't judge or make fun of his choices, just give him the facts and let him make his own choices; eventually he started making better ones. After a few weeks of him eating healthy, I did convince him to accompany me to the gym just one time - telling him if he didn't like it, I'd never make him go again. When we went, he happen to be the only guy there, and the women there were kicking *kitten* and taking names on the weights. I think just seeing that and realizing he couldn't do what a room full of women could made him interested in working out. Again he started asking me questions, this time about working out and getting in better shape. From that we looked at different workout routines and he found one he liked and he wanted and took off from there! He now eats better and is staying in shape, but it's because HE wants to, not because I forced him, or even asked him too. My journey inspired him to be better and that makes me really proud. Don't push it, just keep up your hard work and maybe you'll serve as inspiration to him! It did NOT come quick or easy for me, it took time and patience with him, but in the end we're both much better because of it. Cheers, and good luck :drinker:

20More

I agree with the others about cooking less. Just ignore his stubborn behavior and focus on being a healthy example for your kids. We eat on luncheon plates while my husband refuses to change anything and he still uses a dinner plate. I don't nag or even ask him to join in on a walk or anything. If I have a workout or a walk planned, I NEVER not go because he asked me to go to lunch or to run to Menards. You are on your own-he can be too! Once he starts to see the change in you, he may give himself a look in the mirror and decide to make some healtier choices. Sad but true- you can't change someone if they don't want to change. P.S. I would not offer to get him ice cream anymore. He can get it himslef!

lizziebeth1028

Wifely submission?!?!:noway:

mrsnecincy

My husband is the same. He isn't ready and I'm not going to push him. He finds MFP a bind. He hates me logging everything and isn't partticularly supportive. We don't have ba stuff in the house he just eats huge portions of the healthy food I cook but his downfalls are bread and booze. He says he'll go on a health kick in the summer when we have no visitors. But he wants to do it his way. I hope to be maintaing by then so I'm going to support him and have a break from logging. If I gain after a couple of weeks he'll know my way is right I think that's a good compromise.

fiferize

Dont cook so that there are left overs and keep the junk food out of the house. If he wants it he will have to go get it and at least then he's getting up and moving!!! right? Submission? DONT DO IT!