My husband won't diet with me
Replies
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"Wifely Submission....."
Never heard of it....my wife just puts her foot up my *kitten* when I do something she doesn't like.
^^awesomeness^^ lol0 -
Hand him a mirror and a copy of the obituary's! Tell him you love him and that the man in the mirror is going to end up in the paper if he doesn't start taking care of himself!0
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Unfortunately you can't make him want to change. If the topic of health comes up maybe just explain to him that you are worried about him. Explain that you want him to be around as long as possible and able to play with the kids.
When you make dinner, don't cook extras (or pack them up right away and put in the fridge or freezer for lunches or other meals). When you are just sitting watching TV see if he wants to go for a family walk... or bike ride... or walk to the park for the kids to play, etc.
He may of not changes his habits much since you started trying to lose weight. Maybe with your old habits you just didn't notice his as much as you do now?0 -
Haha....sounds like something my husband would say. (Seriously it would probably work though).0
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YOu're his wife, not his mother. If he wants to eat himself to death and leave you to raise his children alone then the only thing you can do is what was mentioned by someone else. Make sure his life insurance is paid up and be sure he prepares a will.
You can only control you and what you do. Get healthy because your kids are going to need at least one parent there to take care of them.0 -
I think people are way to caught up on the wifely submissive part....
Let me just say, I am big on womens rights. I personally do not believe in Wifely submission. However if that's what works for you all the power to you. I know, our house is very traditional or old fashion in someways, which could be considered sexist, but that's what works for us and our personalities. I do all the cooking and cleaning. I do almost all the shopping. I do the laundry. I do the dishes. My hubby is a workalohic because he wants to provide more for us, so in turn I make sure he doesn't life a finger at home... other then yard work. I pretty much serve him his food. However he doesn't expect it, he is greatful for it, and I like to do it because he works so hard for us. My hubby works 2 full time jobs and trust me we don't really need the money. So when I get home from my full time job, I see as my job... to get the household stuff done. To be honest.... I would do all the household stuff probably either way. I like to take care of my man. It's who I am...0 -
promise him a BJ for every pound he loses.... i bet he'll drop weight like nobody's business.
sorted
LOL. :laugh:
Oooops. I read that as, "PB&J" at first. LOLOL!!!!!!!!!! :blushing:0 -
Have you ASKED HIM why he's eating more lately? Have you ASKED HIM to eat less with you? If he loves you, he will give you an answer to both of these questions.
WE don't know why he's doing what he's doing and you can't make him diet with you either, should he say no. But if he insists on eating more than you on purpose, that's between him and his heart attack. It would really mean he doesn't respect you, his body, your marriage and your efforts to become healthy.
Keep on doing what you are doing and all you can do is have that "talk" with him. His response will give you all the answers you need.ASK HIM!! He may surprise you!0 -
How long have you been cutting back? My answer would be TIME. If you continue to make healthier choices, he will follow. I know I was on MFP first, then my wife got an account. I had lost some weight then hit a plateau. I started not really paying attention to what I was eating, then she started counting her calories and it has re-motivated me. If this is just a week or two thing, just give him some time.0
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I think people are way to caught up on the wifely submissive part....
Let me just say, I am big on womens rights. I personally do not believe in Wifely submission. However if that's what works for you all the power to you. I know, our house is very traditional or old fashion in someways, which could be considered sexist, but that's what works for us and our personalities. I do all the cooking and cleaning. I do almost all the shopping. I do the laundry. I do the dishes. My hubby is a workalohic because he wants to provide more for us, so in turn I make sure he doesn't life a finger at home... other then yard work. I pretty much serve him his food. However he doesn't expect it, he is greatful for it, and I like to do it because he works so hard for us. My hubby works 2 full time jobs and trust me we don't really need the money. So when I get home from my full time job, I see as my job... to get the household stuff done. To be honest.... I would do all the household stuff probably either way. I like to take care of my man. It's who I am...
You should probably update your profile says you arent married.0 -
The submission is not something my husband expects or asks of me. I believe it's how God has called me to live, it simply means I'm here to support him as the head of our family and he's here to lead. I feel blessed to be able to serve in this way.
wait... what???
God... what???!!!!!
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wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.
Excuse me while I go get sick. The archaic notion that a wife should be submissive to her husband is inequality at the least, abusive at its worst. I still can't believe that these beliefs in the natural role of a wife still exist in the developed world.
K....my wife loves me and respects me...but if I told her that she needed to submit to her to really show that, I'd have a high heel up my *kitten*.
I didn't know that anyone actually still did this wives submit to your husbands stuff...it's like 2013.
Yeah... I was going to leave that one alone. Pathetic religious people want to be pathetic, and I get a million PMs from angry religious idiots when I say anything against their archaic, mindless belief systems.
ON A MUCH FUNNIER NOTE:
I decided to write my husband at work about the BJ reward system, rather than wait until he got home. He says all of the women in his office are busy texting their husbands the same suggestion. LOL
Oh, and that is a yes for him. :-D0 -
The submission is not something my husband expects or asks of me. I believe it's how God has called me to live, it simply means I'm here to support him as the head of our family and he's here to lead. I feel blessed to be able to serve in this way.wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.
Husbands aside, I have to thank ya'll for helping me with MY diet. It's lunchtime for me right now, and I was totally craving some fast food -- but all this talk of "wifely submission" has killed my appetite. Woot!0 -
I agree with the others that he'll come around in time. I talked to my husband about living a healthier lifestyle and he just rolled his eyes at me. That's all I could do, is tell him my concerns, I can't force him to do something for himself that he's not ready to do.
After I started MFP, and started seeing results, he has decided on his own to get on board and is now a member here as well.0 -
I think people are way to caught up on the wifely submissive part....
Let me just say, I am big on womens rights. I personally do not believe in Wifely submission. However if that's what works for you all the power to you. I know, our house is very traditional or old fashion in someways, which could be considered sexist, but that's what works for us and our personalities. I do all the cooking and cleaning. I do almost all the shopping. I do the laundry. I do the dishes. My hubby is a workalohic because he wants to provide more for us, so in turn I make sure he doesn't life a finger at home... other then yard work. I pretty much serve him his food. However he doesn't expect it, he is greatful for it, and I like to do it because he works so hard for us. My hubby works 2 full time jobs and trust me we don't really need the money. So when I get home from my full time job, I see as my job... to get the household stuff done. To be honest.... I would do all the household stuff probably either way. I like to take care of my man. It's who I am...
You should probably update your profile says you arent married.
I am actually not married. I am in a "happily unmarried" relationship for almost 15 years! I'll update my profile. I think we were having difficult times when I joined MFP0 -
Buy him a moob bra
Betcha he takes it personally and will be on board after that
PERFECT! "Here hunny, I thought you could use this..."0 -
this is simple, dont buy crap and dont cook more than is needed. My partner did the same even tho he is like a rake, but inside he wasnt doing himself any favours. There is nothing processed in my house, I never said anything he just eats healthy now.
When your told to need to do this n that people get defensive, I'm sure we all have been like this over food at some point.
Just make the changes, it's up to him to find his path even if it leads the oppersite way from your path.0 -
in my house, I actually dish up EVERYONE's plate (my husband and son get more just because well they're both little calorie furnaces!) then most of the time put away the leftovers to be used for a lunch or something... I've also started cooking less and healthier.
I agree with what others have said, don't keep the junk food in the house.
As far as anything else you CAN do, there's really not anything without just talking to him, and make sure you make it clear that you're worried about his HEALTH and it's not his weight bothering you.0 -
Things you can change:
Your behavior
Your thoughts
Your perceptions
Things you can't change:
His behavior
His thoughts
His perceptions
Case in point: Only you can change yourself, maybe he will follow, maybe he won't.
Other things that might help:
Talk to him about how you feel
Tell him you are concerned
See a marriage counselor
See your own counselor
Ignore his behavior and focus on yourself and your goals0 -
I am going to bounce out of this thread as well before I get another strike I can only be proper and hold my tongue for so long. I will just exit by saying...............
1. all those speaking of religion.... it isnt allowed per MFP rules
2.STOP
3.God will not save the fat man from keeling over from a heart attack
4.Seek therapy lady you need it, marriage counseling and a dietitician out or dont stand a chance
5.If God doesnt save him, your prayers go unanswered, he continues to get fatter and you never find your spine to stand up to him as an individual......SEEK A LAWYER
PS plz no more strikes Olivia I will not come back in here I promise :flowerforyou: Chasing rabbits at this point anyways
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just keep eating healthfully and lead by example. let him see you change and be healthy.0
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You are not his mother. Let him wipe his own behind. Talk to him about it and respect whatever he has to say. Regardless of the outcome, your wifely duties do not include enabling him.0
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I have the problem in my household. My wife and stepson want to always have lots of cookies, chips, pastries, ice cream, and other junk readily available. I just have to make sure to have lots of healthy snacks, especially fresh fruits and veggies readily available and to just use will power not to consume the less healthy stuff.
I do most of the household cooking which can make for a little more work. I have to do things like I'm doing tonight where I'm going to be making stir fry. I'll cook up some white rice in the steamer for them and will cook some brown rice separately for me. Or if I cook up broccoli, I'll steam it, set aside some for myself, and drown their portions in cheese sauce.0 -
I agree with others that you can't make someone care more about their health-they have to worry own their own.
A couple of times when I was younger my mom would be doing weight watches and ask me to do it with her, as a mother daughter thing, even though I didn't really need to diet.
I only did it for her, and after a while I would just stop doing it, because I really didn't care. This time around I made the choice to diet, and am really motivated, and don't plan on giving up any time soon.
Also, it is possible that your husband isnt eating as much more as you perceive. I know when I pass someone eating an unhealthy meal, or big snack, I find myself thinking "Do they know how many calories that is?" :laugh:
Maybe the best thing to do would be make less food-that way there are less leftovers.0 -
I you prepare the plates, give him his first. If there are leftovers, pack them up immediately and put them in the freezer.0
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Lose weight.
Have an affair.
That'll motivate him.
:laugh:0 -
well its easy just make less food that way he will eat less
this and tell him for every 35 lbs he loses he will gain an extra inch where it counts lol so if he gets himself down to about 250 ish that is 2.5 inch's just sayin.0 -
buy healthy foods and cook them portion everything out and plan all the meals switch to lower fat ice creams and do fruit bars and sherberts to if you need snacks get the 90-100 calorie snack packs do what you need to do for you and the rest will follow good luck.0
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The submission is not something my husband expects or asks of me. I believe it's how God has called me to live, it simply means I'm here to support him as the head of our family and he's here to lead. I feel blessed to be able to serve in this way.wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.
You have got to be kidding me. I am sorry, but that is just too weird for me. My husband does all the cooking, cleaning, yard work and laundry. He has dinner ready for me when I come home. He owns his own business, so can make different hours. I work then go to the gym. I handle all the finances. Works for us.0 -
Things you can change:
Your behavior
Your thoughts
Your perceptions
Things you can't change:
His behavior
His thoughts
His perceptions
Case in point: Only you can change yourself, maybe he will follow, maybe he won't.
Other things that might help:
Talk to him about how you feel
Tell him you are concerned
See a marriage counselor
See your own counselor
Ignore his behavior and focus on yourself and your goals
Agree.0
This discussion has been closed.
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