My husband won't diet with me
Replies
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Honestly and frankly tell him that you're worried about his health. You want to grow old with him, not tend to his hospital bed. *shrug*
I agree with this. Start talking about his funeral arrangements. Well, I may be going a little too far, lol. He will eventually change his mind. Just be patient.
You concentrate on sticking to your eating/fitness plan. You own it. You are in control.0 -
promise him a BJ for every pound he loses.... i bet he'll drop weight like nobody's business.
sorted
Win.
My husband will be home soon. I am absolutely going to suggest this!
****texting hubby now!!*** haha
If that doesn't work continue leading by example...you need to proceed with your healthy living first and foremost! Hope he gets on board with you:)0 -
I am going to bounce out of this thread as well before I get another strike I can only be proper and hold my tongue for so long. I will just exit by saying...............
1. all those speaking of religion.... it isnt allowed per MFP rules
2.STOP
3.God will not save the fat man from keeling over from a heart attack
4.Seek therapy lady you need it, marriage counseling and a dietitician out or dont stand a chance
5.If God doesnt save him, your prayers go unanswered, he continues to get fatter and you never find your spine to stand up to him as an individual......SEEK A LAWYER
PS plz no more strikes Olivia I will not come back in here I promise :flowerforyou: Chasing rabbits at this point anyways
THIS times a million!0 -
Maybe don't bring the high calorie food into the house to beging with, he can't eat what is not there.. Maybe get him into the doctors for a wake up call, his weight is an issue,he could have a stroke and live and where would you be then, caring for him. Keep up the good work yourslef , losing weight can be life changing for you.. Your kids needs a healthy parent to model for them how it should be they mirror what they see. Goodluck hun :flowerforyou:0
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My husband was the same way...until I changed for him. I dont cook the same portions as I used to. Just enough for us to eat..no left overs... I buy only whole, natural, lean foods... He has no choice but to eat properly or go to the store buy extra crap, come home and fix it himself. Thats all... No nagging involved. If he doesnt like what I fix or the amount I fixed, he has the option of making something additional himself.0
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It was fun reading the replies to this thread.
The submission is not something my husband expects or asks of me. I believe it's how God has called me to live, it simply means I'm here to support him as the head of our family and he's here to lead. I feel blessed to be able to serve in this way.
Of course I could just cook less. But I cook simply, I buy a pound of meat and cook it, or make a batch of biscuits or one recipe of whatever. We eat a relatively balanced diet, and not an abundance of processed food. The weight is from home-made biscuits, and beef stew, and macaroni and cheese.
I asked him last night if he was trying to fatten himself up, and he says "well someone's gotta make up for it."
I do believe he'll come around in time.
If the weight is from home-made biscuits, beef stew and mac and cheese couldn't you just not cook those things? In my house I just stopped cooking the unhealthy foods (like biscuits). Seems like that would be the best option. Find healthier meals to make and cut out the fat ones.0 -
I have been married almost 22 years. The whole time I have wished my husband made better choice. He just started to eat better a few months ago. Took almost 21 years of not saying anything to him, just letting see my choices and hear the nutrition I teach the kids.0
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this is a difficult one, my husband is 12st 10 and 5'9 but still wants to support me with my weight loss, i buy the food and do the cooking so we eat the same food, i do allow him to have more snacks than me because i worry hes not eating enough. my husband is also a long distance runner, i think he obsesses more about his weight because he's seen me doing well. i suppose i'm lucky to have a supportive husband. i think you should try and encourage him to lose weight, i agree with what the others say portion your food so there isn't leftovers. hope you get him on your side
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Sounds about right to me.. I can tell you straight up. He has to want to change. You need to stop feeding your family crap, and keep to your goals. Your husband will either come around or get to the point where he faces reality."Wifely Submission....."
Never heard of it....my wife just puts her foot up my *kitten* when I do something she doesn't like.0 -
I feel your pain, my husband seemed motivated about losing weight for about 5 seconds... he is eating what I cook but he also eats snack and junk at work so there is really no stopping it. My hope is that as I lose more and start looking better, maybe he will decide to work on himself but I have tryed asking and it just doesnt work... My husband is 340 i believe and is diabetic, it is horrible to have to worry about his health, I hope you have better luck with motivating him than I have with my husband.0
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promise him a BJ for every pound he loses.... i bet he'll drop weight like nobody's business.
sorted
You should write a diet book
Um, I think he just did. :laugh:0 -
The submission is not something my husband expects or asks of me. I believe it's how God has called me to live, it simply means I'm here to support him as the head of our family and he's here to lead. I feel blessed to be able to serve in this way.wifely submission means honoring that your spouse is the head of house and the leader of the home. He is her covering. it means that she respects and loves her husband.
Husbands aside, I have to thank ya'll for helping me with MY diet. It's lunchtime for me right now, and I was totally craving some fast food -- but all this talk of "wifely submission" has killed my appetite. Woot!
LOL there is no wifely submission here in this house, he may earn the money but I run the house hold.0 -
It was fun reading the replies to this thread.
The submission is not something my husband expects or asks of me. I believe it's how God has called me to live, it simply means I'm here to support him as the head of our family and he's here to lead. I feel blessed to be able to serve in this way.
Of course I could just cook less. But I cook simply, I buy a pound of meat and cook it, or make a batch of biscuits or one recipe of whatever. We eat a relatively balanced diet, and not an abundance of processed food. The weight is from home-made biscuits, and beef stew, and macaroni and cheese.
I asked him last night if he was trying to fatten himself up, and he says "well someone's gotta make up for it."
I do believe he'll come around in time.
If the weight is from home-made biscuits, beef stew and mac and cheese couldn't you just not cook those things? In my house I just stopped cooking the unhealthy foods (like biscuits). Seems like that would be the best option. Find healthier meals to make and cut out the fat ones.
Sounds reasonable to me!;)0 -
Maybe don't bring the high calorie food into the house to begin with, he can't eat what is not there..:
My husband buys his own doughnuts and chips when he wants them. And those darn Pilsbury cinnamon rolls!! He buys those all the time!
As for my kids, of I don't buy it, they can't eat what's not here. But my husband is an adult with a bank account and a car and will buy junk when he wants it.
I do agree with the concept of making healthier or smaller portioned homemade meals. Maybe serve yourselves and instantly pack up the left overs so they will get eaten later instead of as 3rd servings.0 -
promise him a BJ for every pound he loses.... i bet he'll drop weight like nobody's business.
sorted
You should write a diet book
Um, I think he just did. :laugh:
I hubby isn't into fad diets.... but he wants to try this one! LOL0 -
I am with all the replies that say to cook healthier meals for you and family, smaller portions so there are no left overs.
do not buy/make biscuits and stuff the kids get no benefit from these.
Lead by example.
Just because you feel your role is `wifely submission` does not mean that you have to buy/cook to much food?
As a wife (and I am saying this based on what you have said, not what I believe) you are the person responsible for feeding, nurturing and maintaining the welfare of your husband and children? So take control of your duties!0 -
LOL there is no wifely submission here in this house, he may earn the money but I run the house hold.
(Just because their seemed to be a misconception.and it was bugging me.... The Biblical description of a Godly wife tells us that . She does run the household affairs, buys land, earns money...etc....)
Carry on....0 -
I agree with other posters that you should cook smaller portions. See if he even notices. If not, you know he has gotten inot the habit of eating what is left. You could also fix yourself a lunch portion and put in the fridge before you put it on the table.
Quit buying ice cream. When the craving hits, go to Baskin Robbins. You will be surprised how often you decide you don't need that ice cream after all if it is not available and you have to go out to get it.
The husband is the head of the household and the wife is the neck. Without the neck, the head can't turn. That means the head needs direction and input from the neck. He should be willing to discuss your concerns but you have to apporach it gently or he will get defensive.
Good luck!!0 -
Maybe don't bring the high calorie food into the house to begin with, he can't eat what is not there..:
My husband buys his own doughnuts and chips when he wants them. And those darn Pilsbury cinnamon rolls!! He buys those all the time!
As for my kids, of I don't buy it, they can't eat what's not here. But my husband is an adult with a bank account and a car and will buy junk when he wants it.
I do agree with the concept of making healthier or smaller portioned homemade meals. Maybe serve yourselves and instantly pack up the left overs so they will get eaten later instead of as 3rd servings.
Thank You If I don't cook the biscuits or cookies or whatever he'll stop and buy some processed junk. I'd rather he eat the homemade stuff.
He has seen a doctor, of course the doctor told him his weight was a problem. But he also told him that unlike most obese people he is well-nourished. We eat a balanced diet of mostly real food, but too much real food and driving a truck 20 hrs a day has an effect on a person. He's not diabetic, even though it runs in his family. We're still both in our 30s, and I do believe it's not too late.0 -
The husband is the head of the household and the wife is the neck. Without the neck, the head can't turn. That means the head needs direction and input from the neck. He should be willing to discuss your concerns but you have to apporach it gently or he will get defensive.
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Srsly, I need to stop reading this thread.0 -
I understand the submissive wifely attitude. I totally get it and support that. However, even though he is the head of the family, you are the neck. The head can't do much without the neck. I assume you do the grocery shopping and meal planning right? If it's isn't there he can't eat it. Or if it is there you can chose heathier versions of dessert and other junk food. Maybe for meals, make everyone's plates and put the rest away; out of sight out of mind. Serve meals on smaller plates and maybe he won't realize his portions are smaller. You have to help him help himself without making him feel like he is on a diet as well. My husband and I have been enjoying cooking together. I try to let him decide the "meat" for dinner and I chose the sides which usually result in veggies. He enjoys BBQing and so he cooks the veggies that way sometimes too. Wacky mac is great too because he loves carbs but really has no clue that the pasta is made with veggies. Good luck!0
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Hmm... So you believe your most important mission in life is to cater to and to gently protect his ego?
That is pretty far from any meaningful respect in my book.0 -
:laugh:0
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for every 35 lbs he loses he will gain 1 inch of penis .. just saying0
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Maybe don't bring the high calorie food into the house to begin with, he can't eat what is not there..:
My husband buys his own doughnuts and chips when he wants them. And those darn Pilsbury cinnamon rolls!! He buys those all the time!
As for my kids, of I don't buy it, they can't eat what's not here. But my husband is an adult with a bank account and a car and will buy junk when he wants it.
I do agree with the concept of making healthier or smaller portioned homemade meals. Maybe serve yourselves and instantly pack up the left overs so they will get eaten later instead of as 3rd servings.
Thank You If I don't cook the biscuits or cookies or whatever he'll stop and buy some processed junk. I'd rather he eat the homemade stuff.
He has seen a doctor, of course the doctor told him his weight was a problem. But he also told him that unlike most obese people he is well-nourished. We eat a balanced diet of mostly real food, but too much real food and driving a truck 20 hrs a day has an effect on a person. He's not diabetic, even though it runs in his family. We're still both in our 30s, and I do believe it's not too late.
Have you tried making substitutions, like making the biscuits from half white and half whole wheat? Small things that will improve the nutrition of the food without changing the taste too abruptly? And he's driving 20 hrs a day??? No wonder he's eating too much, sleep deprivation will do that to you.0 -
I always put extras away before we eat so my husband knows what is left is his. We eat leftovers for lunch. I also prepare the plates so he gets all of his veggies :-). He feels special that I 'serve' his food. Also- don't offer to get him snacks. If I don't, my husband either just forgets about it or get his own. He knows fully what I am doing- I am honest about it. If he wants to slowly kill himself with food, that is his choice, but I refuse to help him. My father died in his 60s because of morbid obesity- I have some issues with that topic :-). That being said- I don't make him diet. If he wants a pizza, he will order one.
^^^^This!!
BTW, I was the spouse who was killing myself. My hubby would ask me if I really eneded seconds or those chips. it made me defensive and not willing to listen. He tried to tell me he was worried about my health but I was already defensive and wouldn't listen. Be careful how you approach him! In the end, I wasn't going to lose until I was ready. He did purchase personal trainer sessions for me for Christmas one year. I loved it but I still back-slid.
When my dad died, I sank into depression. He purchased more sessions from a strength coach. It saved me. He didn't say, "you need to lose weight." He said, "I am worried about you. I don't want you in a wheel chair like your dad. You need be healthier" The strength coach also said we were working on strength and mobility, not weight loss. Even my previous personal trainer said, "You need something more - to step it up so I want you to work with him." I don't know why it worked but it did. It was almost like an intervention but it was what I needed.0 -
Hmm... So you believe your most important mission in life is to cater to and to gently protect his ego?
That is pretty far from any meaningful respect in my book.
OFT. It's pretty dang far from any meaningful form of SELF respect either, just sayin'. Sad to see internalized misogyny worn like a badge of pride.
That said, this is obnoxiously OT. I'm going to hush, now, and go away and read ... an article about Annie Thorisdottir or something.0 -
Submission is something that should be reserved purely for variety, on occasion you are feeling especially frisky. Adopting it as a life philosophy.... now that's just deviant.
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I cook enough for each person in my family to have one helping and no more. If they want more than what I cook, they have to get it themselves, but they usually don't. You can't force your husband to diet, but you can control how much you serve him. I go so far as to fix my husband's plate for him, and he never argues. He just enjoys what I serve him. The next time you are getting a bowl of ice cream, don't bother asking him if he wants any because that gives him the option to choose a bunch of stuff he doesn't need. Just fix him the same thing that you fix for yourself, and if he wants anything extra, let him get it himself. You are still taking care of him, but you are not enabling him by giving him a bunch of foods he doesn't really need. If he questions it, just tell him you are trying to eat more healthy and you need his support and that you would like him to be healthier, too, but that you aren't stopping him from getting anything extra that he wants.0
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I would withhold certain "wifely duties" until he shapes up. Teach him who really has the power.....Men love that sort of thing. If that doesn't work shame him about his body in front of his friends. He will likely want to change it.....Nobody enjoys doing the truffle shuffle.
DONT DO THIS!! Your relationship and his self-respect is more improtant. It will just make him defensive and angry. It will become a control issue with him proving to you that he is in control. Trust me! I have been there but I was the one being shamed. It WILL NOT work!!0
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