My husband won't diet with me

Sunshine2plus2

If you do shopping start buying frozen yogurt, groud turkey, fruits, veggies. If it aint there he cant eat it. Also have a talk with him about your concerns!

nicarey19

Sorry I didnt get passed "Wifely Submission"................

^This...

newdaydawning79

I cook enough for each person in my family to have one helping and no more. If they want more than what I cook, they have to get it themselves, but they usually don't. You can't force your husband to diet, but you can control how much you serve him. I go so far as to fix my husband's plate for him, and he never argues. He just enjoys what I serve him. The next time you are getting a bowl of ice cream, don't bother asking him if he wants any because that gives him the option to choose a bunch of stuff he doesn't need. Just fix him the same thing that you fix for yourself, and if he wants anything extra, let him get it himself. You are still taking care of him, but you are not enabling him by giving him a bunch of foods he doesn't really need. If he questions it, just tell him you are trying to eat more healthy and you need his support and that you would like him to be healthier, too, but that you aren't stopping him from getting anything extra that he wants.

^^^^ I like this option without a doubt.

Also like the ones stating to do small switches in the food, healthier choices. Like the use of whole wheat flour.

I'd definitely think about cutting back on the mac and cheese and stews, unless you fortify them some with other things. For example when I make mac and cheese I use whole wheat pasta and add broccoli. You're getting a lot less pasta but a lot more filling of a meal. With stews, less meat and more vegetables. Same idea.

simplydelish2

First, an easy solution is start cooking a lesser quantity so there's not so much for him to pile on. Second, if you don't buy it - you or your husband won't eat it...leave the ice cream, hot fudge, and cool whip at the store!

Invite him and the kids to go for a walk with you...if he says no, take the kids and go any way. Show him through example...my bet is eventually he'll come around. If not..it may be intervention time.

olDave

"That sounds like a really whiny topic title, doesn't it?

YUP.

pobalita

Wifely submission???

Makes me glad to be single....

and athiest.

lilbearzmom

I believe in wifely submission

WTF

Sorry, I could not get past this.

ForABetterMe89

That sounds like a really whiny topic title, doesn't it?
Let me explain, I don't want to force my husband to diet with me. I believe in wifely submission, it's not my job to tell him what to do, or make him feel guilty. But it seems like since I've been eating less he's started eating more. He's gotten in the habit of just eating whatever's left after I dish out mine and the kid's plates. But with me eating less there's more left, but he still just piles it all on to his plate. The other night I had a scoop of ice cream and I asked him what he wanted and he say asked for 2 scoops with cool whip and hot fudge, he would normally just have the 2 scoops. It's like he's going out of his way to fatten himself up. He already weighs 370 and I'm pretty worried about his health. How do I get him to see how bad his choices are without nagging?

When it comes to him eating what's left over, can't you simply just cook less food? When it comes to him eating hot fudge and what not, its going to happen. Try to stock the house with healthier snacks, don't buy as much junk. I understand you're worried about his weight, however he's going to have to come around in his own time. I lost 15 lbs and my husband is now just getting on bored thinking 'hey maybe I should go to the gym too.' It stinks in the meantime, but eventually he'll come around.

aeg176

I need to find me a woman who knows about this "wifely submission"

good luck with that

mistesh

Ayup. The only place "wifely submission" has in any marriage is in the bedroom, accompanied by handcuffs and a safety word.

But I suspect that that is not the meaning that the OP had. Sorry, but any marriage not based on equality and respect is not a healthy one. Marital submission, in the religious sense, IMO, is about control and power, and in too many cases, abuse.

Nope. It is about loving your husband and showing respect. the flip side is what no one ever remembers. the husband's duty is to love your wife as Christ loves the church. If both husband and wife are using the biblical criteria, the marriage will be one of love, respect, best friends, putting one another's needs before your own.

Trust me, it does work. I have been married for 23 years. The first years were not great. My salvation and my CORRECT understanding of the biblical precept of marriage saved my marriage. I am married to my best friend. We discuss EVERYTHING. If we cannot come to an agreement, we set it aside and pray about it. if we still do not come to an agreement and a decision MUST be made, his decision stands. But it has come with much prayerful consideration on both our parts. I can count on maybe 1 hand the number of times we have not reached an agreement or at least a compromise.

That's a tough choice as each flavor of "wifely submission" has its pros and cons. But given the wealth of feedback put before us, who knows maybe you (and your husband, diet-wise) really can have your cake and eat it too.

chrisvinci

Then don't sex with him

deadbeatsummer

I believe in wifely submission

hedgiie

Then don't sex with him

this

MizTerry

Mine won't either. Make smaller pots that way there's less for him to graze on. You run your household, right?
Totally with the wifely submission. It works for us too until he ticks me off. Hahaha

highervibes

Maybe a good way to talk to him about it is make it about YOU. Tell him how difficult it is to have these unhealthy foods in the house and stick to your health goals. Mention your doctor advised that you eat more healthily and that you really need his support. He can still eat whatever he wants that way, it's just not going to be available to him in the house whenever he wants it. Usually out of sight is out of mind. If he says no to that.... well I don't think you want to know what I would suggest you do to a man that chooses Fudgee-O's over his wife's health but it's NOT GOOD. Best of luck!

scookiemonster

1. Biscuits, mac and cheese, and ice cream should not be a staple in a healthy household. Sure, he can pick it up somewhere else if he wants to and you'd rather have the homemade kind. But then you and your kids are eating it too just to keep him from picking up fast food? Makes no sense. And, honestly, is he really going to come home, identify that he's not happy with what you're making, get in the car, and leave again? Is he going to go out to buy ice cream every night because you don't have it in the house? Because you didn't have hot fudge in the house? (I don't even know what it would be like to live in a house where there was always hot fudge. This sounds to me like a myth along the lines of Candyland). The logic of saying "well, if I don't make it he'll go out and eat it, so now it's homemade!" just makes no sense to me. If it's unhealthy crap when it's homemade, how is that really better? He's still eating unhealthy crap, only now you're making it the only option he has AND you're enabling his bad habits. At least if you offer him something healthy, he has it as an option. Nobody actually NEEDS to keep these things in the house..

2. Make less food. If he eats big portions, make smaller ones. If he asks for extra ice cream, buy portion-control options like ice cream sandwiches or ice cream pops instead. Or, you know, not at all.

3. Wifely submission aside, it's not the woman's job to tiptoe around her husband's feelings and serve his every whim. If he wants whipped cream on his ice cream and you don't think he should have it, let him damn well get up and get it himself. You don't have to stop him eating it, but you don't have to feed it to him either. You can't force him to diet, but you can stop enabling his bad habits. It's the same as buying an alcoholic a six-pack and making sure they're cold for him. You may not be able to stop him from consuming it, but you don't have to serve it to him on a silver platter either. It may not stop him from eating it, but at least he has to get up off his butt to get it, and that might make him think twice about what he's doing (and maybe burn a few calories hauling himself off the couch).

Ultimately, he has to make the decision himself, but that doesn't mean you have to make it easy for him to avoid the decision. Sounds to me like your changes are making him uncomfortable because he's afraid you'll change and his cushy lifestyle will change. Change is hard. Inertia is easy. You're enabling his inertia and giving him no real reason to change.

misscheriem

Gosh it sounds like my partner haha

losing5555

haha no, it's not a whiny topic title, it's relevant. good on you for taking the initiative towards a healthy lifestyle while he's being a bum about it haha. maybe he's jealous or upset that you're dieting? i would find out what is making him act that way and just say, in an upfront way, "i don't want to die an early death because i'm unhealthy. does my dieting bother you because you seem to be eating more than usual??" it is common for myself to say something like this because i'm blunt but it'll cut out nagging. if he doesn't wish to join you on your journey to health he has every right not to! let him know that you still care about him regardless of change but... let it be known that he is inadvertently being a tad selfish... to change eating habits when you're trying hard to be healthier. haha it's not a big issue but it may hinder your progress. good luck.

EDesq

Divorce the *kitten*. You deserve better.

LMAOOO!!!!

And what da heyall is "wifely submission"? Yeah, You will be submitting him right to the grave or by the time you are 40 y.o., YOU will be so beat down from waiting on him because all that weight WILL make him crippled, you will look like a 70 y.o.woman.

stephaniemejia1671

haha no, it's not a whiny topic title, it's relevant. good on you for taking the initiative towards a healthy lifestyle while he's being a bum about it haha. maybe he's jealous or upset that you're dieting? i would find out what is making him act that way and just say, in an upfront way, "i don't want to die an early death because i'm unhealthy. does my dieting bother you because you seem to be eating more than usual??" it is common for myself to say something like this because i'm blunt but it'll cut out nagging. if he doesn't wish to join you on your journey to health he has every right not to! let him know that you still care about him regardless of change but... let it be known that he is inadvertently being a tad selfish... to change eating habits when you're trying hard to be healthier. haha it's not a big issue but it may hinder your progress. good luck.

Agreed. It's something he needs to understand that is good for the BOTH of you and should be doing it together. Talk to him. Find out why he is acting so selfish. Make it a family affair tell the kids to help dad get better, something.. I also believe you should cook only what you need, and have better snack food in the house. If he still doesn't want to join you on a better quest to a new you and better life, leave him alone, and then when you get all good looking and stuff that will open his eyes..

Alex

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