How do you explain death to a child?

Guisma

pretty good sugestion soldier 4242

foxro

Trying to understand here: If you are an atheist then why is hard for you to explain to your child that we cease to exist upon death ? If that is what you believe then shouldn't you be telling your child that ? just askin

So, you think atheists have no emotions related to death and do not need to think about how to explain it in a sensitive, empathic. and age appropriate way to children? Because there is never any circumstances in which death could be traumatic? Atheists do not have a "nice, happy story" to tell. And we need to be empathic, compassionate, responsible and respectful of our children and of the people they will interact with that are not atheists and have lost loved ones. We can't send them out into the world without knowing how to interact kindly with others. Also, most of us were not raised as atheists, so we are learning how to approach this as parents in a responsible and kind way.

It's a bit more complicated than "ceasing to exist". And if that was not such a difficult subject to deal with, then religion would not exist. People with religion have a story to tell. And atheists also have science to explain things in a compassionate and meaningful way. If we take the time to understand how to explain the science in an age appropriate way, we will have given our children coping skills and something meaningful. Plus, just because we are atheists, does not mean our children will feel the same way. They have their own path of learning, and exploring and deciding for themselves.

Thanks for explaiing it to me, but please don't make inferences about me thinking atheists don't have have emotions. I'm trying to understand the approach an atheist would take because as you say they do not have a happy story to tell.

I'm sorry. I should have explained that in a better way. I just mean that death is never an easy subject, that should be spoken to children in a careless and thoughtless way. Whether a person is an atheist or religious, the facts of death are an equally difficult aspect of the human experience. and being an atheist does not make that any more clear cut. Even if we identify as atheist at this time in our lives, does not mean we have all the answers to life's difficult questions.

I need to say sorry too, my post is blunt and I should have been more tactful

BinaryPulsar

I need to say sorry too, my post is blunt and I should have been more tactful

:flowerforyou:

conniemaxwell5

It's hard. No way around it. Harder still for us non-believers because we don't have the luxury of saying someone's gone to a better place.

There one thing I'm thinking that you could try, depending on how you think your child would respond to it.

You can say that death is a part of life. All things die and as tragic as it is life wouldn't be as beautiful without death. The fact that our lives are temporary makes them so very special. It means we have to really make the most of the time we have and appreciate the people in our lives while they're there. Give him an example of a toy he loves but rarely plays with, now tell him you're going to take the toy away forever. He really wants to play with that toy now, doesn't he? That is what makes the temporary nature of our lives so special. If we existed forever things wouldn't really matter so much now would they?

Just a thought. Nothing makes it easy. But it's obvious you're doing the best you can. Good luck to you.

I am a born again Christian and this is one of the most beautiful explanations of death I've ever seen. He wants to know about death, not the afterlife (or lack thereof if you don't believe). These are simple terms that emphasize the importance of making life count for something and they are true regardless of your religious beliefs. Thank you.

MagicalLeopleurodon

oh gosh i hate that. im agnostic-so i believe in an afterlife.

that being said-i would explain that we die when we accomplish every single thing we wete meant to accomplish, and that nobody truly knows how much they are meant to do. tell him that death is not something scary-its something thay everybody experiences and it just means that they werent needed on earth anymore. they did everything they were supposed to do-their life was completely fulfuilled. for some people that happens in 100 years, but for others (dogs, cats-kid death is too scary for a 3 year old i think) it happens sooner because they accomplished more faster.

ScullyKel

It's hard. No way around it. Harder still for us non-believers because we don't have the luxury of saying someone's gone to a better place.

There one thing I'm thinking that you could try, depending on how you think your child would respond to it.

You can say that death is a part of life. All things die and as tragic as it is life wouldn't be as beautiful without death. The fact that our lives are temporary makes them so very special. It means we have to really make the most of the time we have and appreciate the people in our lives while they're there. Give him an example of a toy he loves but rarely plays with, now tell him you're going to take the toy away forever. He really wants to play with that toy now, doesn't he? That is what makes the temporary nature of our lives so special. If we existed forever things wouldn't really matter so much now would they?

Just a thought. Nothing makes it easy. But it's obvious you're doing the best you can. Good luck to you.

Very Nicely said. This is a hard question I hope you find the guidance you are looking for. I've been wondering how I could answer that question for my three year old daughter also. After the bombings the other day she was very curious about what happened "when the little boy died". I've been brushing it off but I think I will go the above suggested route and hope it makes sense to her.

JanaCanada

I am a certified grief counsellor. Message me.

GinnyWhites

At his age it is an abstract concept that he probly won't understand. 1st ask him what he thinks happens, so you know where he is coming from. Be honest; Nobody knows when they will die, honey. But it shouldn't be for a long time." Be prepared to answer this question over and over for the couple of weeks. Don't avoid it or he may come up with his own worse concepts. Good luck.

soldier4242

Has anyone else noticed how we have both atheists and theists in here and we are discussing a very heavy topic that pretty much makes discussing religion unavoidable and everyone has been really mature.

The topic has remained interesting and it have no devolved in to a bunch of hostility and ad homonyms. This is really rare. Especially on the internet. We have basically done what most anyone you ask will say can't be done.

I am glad that I was able to be a part of this.

sheldonz42

Has anyone else noticed how we have both atheists and theists in here and we are discussing a very heavy topic that pretty much makes discussing religion unavoidable and everyone has been really mature.

The topic has remained interesting and it have no devolved in to a bunch of hostility and ad homonyms. This is really rare. Especially on the internet. We have basically done what most anyone you ask will say can't be done.

I am glad that I was able to be a part of this.

Indeed!

_DaniD_

soldier4242

Is this from a movie?

BinaryPulsar

Has anyone else noticed how we have both atheists and theists in here and we are discussing a very heavy topic that pretty much makes discussing religion unavoidable and everyone has been really mature.

The topic has remained interesting and it have no devolved in to a bunch of hostility and ad homonyms. This is really rare. Especially on the internet. We have basically done what most anyone you ask will say can't be done.

I am glad that I was able to be a part of this.

Yes, I agree!! I did notice that. And it's really wonderful! :drinker: