Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

ashesfromfire
ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
SO, I've dropped a couple sizes and now have quite a few clothing items that are just way too big to wear and have look good on me. That being said, these clothes are all super cute and have lots of life left in them. So, do y'all think it's rude if I offer them to a friend who would look really cute in them? What I would think, is that it would all really be in how you word the offer. More of a: hey I've got a couple adorable dresses I don't wear anymore, would you want them INSTEAD OF A These are WAY too big on me...I bet they'd fit you :laugh: Obviously that's not what I'm trying to say. But even if you say it in a completely non- demeaning way - is it still rude?


Just something to add: I've known here since I was about 5, and we've been sharing/borrowing clothes sine about age 13. But I'm worried it's different to actually give her things because they don't fit - not just because I dont want them anymore
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Replies

  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    YES YES YES! It doesn't matter how you say it, we know you're giving us your fat clothes. I've been there, and it's totally embarrassing!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    It. Might depend on how good of a friend.
    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....

    Maybe Good Will is your best bet. (But I'd not be offended if it were me)
  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523 Member
    I just donate to charity.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I second the broad offer on Facebook.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I second the donating them idea.
  • SlimSumday
    SlimSumday Posts: 379 Member
    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....
    Totally cool idea! :happy:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.
  • sunflowerhippi
    sunflowerhippi Posts: 1,099 Member
    It. Might depend on how good of a friend.
    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....

    Maybe Good Will is your best bet. (But I'd not be offended if it were me)

    I have done this, works well and doesn't hurt anyones feelings either. :)
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    YES YES YES! It doesn't matter how you say it, we know you're giving us your fat clothes. I've been there, and it's totally embarrassing!

    This. Besides, isn't it rude to "donate" your clothes to your friends anyways? Unless they're in need of course in which case I guess you can
  • endoftheside
    endoftheside Posts: 568 Member
    If I am size X and my friend has size X clothes because she now wears size X-2, I would be happy to be offered the clothes. But, I am not super picky about where my clothes come from, I view it as an adventure to find things secondhand.

    If she is super self-conscious or in denial about her weight, or only wears new stuff from trendy shops, I would not offer the clothes to her.
  • sunshyncatra
    sunshyncatra Posts: 598 Member
    Do not offer them directly to the friend. Offering them on Facebook is a good idea. Another idea is to arrange a clothing swap party with a bunch of friends/coworkers. You all bring gently used clothing you don't want anymore and swap. Whatever clothing doesn't have takers can be donated to charity. Everyone wins!
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Not if they're cute clothes.
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  • stephenson2012
    stephenson2012 Posts: 94 Member
    It depends on the friend. I have one that we have very similar taste,. She is loosing also,but not as far along. She appreciated the offer. Her husband really appreciated it because she got some things that fit and he didn't have to pay for them. Others I have donated to Suited for Success. She does not wear business suits
  • KEAVES13
    KEAVES13 Posts: 90 Member
    I would just bring up in general conversation that you are getting rid of some of your clothes..and leave it up to them to say something about wanting them. :smile:
  • Diamond05
    Diamond05 Posts: 475 Member
    Not a bad idea. Plus as you go through the process you could tell her to feel free to take anything she' d like, they're going to charity anyway...
  • 1two3four
    1two3four Posts: 413 Member
    What everyone else said, clothing swaps, open offers on FB....
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I've been on the receiving end of a friend's "fat clothes"...she had great taste and tended toward designer stuff. Hell yes, I wanted them! I didn't think it was demeaning at all.
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    It has happened to me. I don't mind at all:). But I have never offered because I don't want to offend anyone.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I gave some of my "fat clothes" to 2 of my sister-in-laws and they didn't mind one bit! :laugh:

    That's what you think! I'm sure I seemed perfectly happy to get the clothes when my mom gave them to me, but inside I was crying.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,328 Member
    I would have to err on the side of no. I do offer them to my DD and she has the choice of taking them or donating them. Either way its fine with me.

    ETA - I should add that there are some things I never wore and still have the tags. Those I am going to sell on E-bay.
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 569 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)
  • holothuroidea
    holothuroidea Posts: 772 Member
    I think it depends on the person whether they'd think it was rude.

    I'd be grateful if a friend offered me some free clothes, personally, but some people can be super sensitive about that stuff.

    If you know them well enough, fine. If you don't, I second the broad offer on facebook.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    My mom doesn't mind at all, but she's also said (multiple times), "HEY. GIMME ALL YOUR AGE APPROPRIATE (appropriate for *her* age) CLOTHES WHEN YOU'RE TOO EFFIN SKINNY FOR THEM."

    I second the broad offer on FB, and if there aren't any takers, donate them.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    only if you call them "fatty" when you do it.
  • ctpeace
    ctpeace Posts: 327 Member
    I wouldn't be offended! I've also seen ppl offer up stuff on MFP (not hinting :wink: ). If you have to ask, she may not be in the right mindset to take it the right way. Asking her to help you sort or posting on FB are good ideas, so is goodwill. I think in general, this isn't necessarily rude, it totally depends if you have that kind of relationship or not. I think it's green, generous and frugal, but some people have hangups about it.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    What can I say? I am effin' brilliant!!
  • SatchGallamax
    SatchGallamax Posts: 549 Member
    I've passed along a lot of clothes, but my friends have specifically asked me to give them first right of refusal. If it is a name brand item I might try to find it a good home, but otherwise will donate.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    YES YES YES! It doesn't matter how you say it, we know you're giving us your fat clothes. I've been there, and it's totally embarrassing!

    This. Besides, isn't it rude to "donate" your clothes to your friends anyways? Unless they're in need of course in which case I guess you can

    why would it be rude?

    I love when my one friend decides she doesnt want something...she has great taste!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    I am torn on this one.... On one hand it seems good, but on the other hand, you are still "calling out that one chubby friend for your far clothes." Most females would see right through that and still consider it 'being singled out for left over fat clothes'... And you are back to friends that would be fine with it and friends that would feel offended.

    Edited for the typos I caught, which may not be all of them.

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