Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

Stronger_Diva

Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

Yes.

I would never do this unless my friend expressed wanting them first.

RitaB19

My fat clothes are a Size 4P, would that be rude too? :noway: I am a size 0-2 Petite now. I have all these size 4s lying around and they fall right off me. Should I just donate them?

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

I ask my friends for their "fat clothes" because they used to be the size that I am now.

liesevanlingen

It depends on the friend. I and a friend are losing weight together and I am a little further along that she is, and I have passed on some of my clothes that no longer fit me. As a single mom with two teenage dependents, she can't afford to buy new clothes, so she really appreciates the offer. I've also taken her on a little shopping spree with my bonus money to get a couple of nice new outfits apiece, which was fun to do as she has better fashion sense than I do anyway, so we both won.

It also depends on how you word it. I had somebody offer me clothes once who said "These are miles too big for me, but they should fit you okay." This was after I had lost 30 pounds and it made me feel pretty bad.

doneatfour

If you do give them to a friend, I'd do it in private. I overheard a conversation between a couple of people I know. One asked the other if she wanted this cute dress in a size 14. The other woman said that was nice, but she was a size 10. Then the first woman argued with her about it. All in front of everyone.

AllAboutThatTreble

I like the idea of going through clothes for donation and letting her take what she wants.

Even though you mean no harm, it does hurt. I won't say offensive since you're friends, but I've been there. My mom lost a lot of weight 2 years ago and gave me all of her too big clothes.

I knew she meant well, and I did appreciate it since all the clothes were cute, (seriously, my mom has great taste... I still let her shop for me and I live across the country), but it still stung.

BlueInkDot

Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

How did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol

I was thinking the same thing, lol.

bergpa

I've been on the receiving end of "gifted" fat clothes and I hated it. A friend brought her clothes to my house and while I accepted them graciously, they quickly ended up at the Goodwill.

I think most women are going to see through being asked to help sort the fat clothes. If you don't normally need help with basic life tasks, it will seem a little odd.

mellypeters09

Me being at the end of this where I am receiving the clothes, I did not take it offensively. She lost a lot of weight and I know I am bigger than her. It is nice to have some benefits from being bigger as bad as that sounds. lol.

Though I could still see someone taking it offensively. I just don't think that everyone would react that badly. I wouldnt even mention that it is because they dont fit anymore. I would just say you dont really want them or dont wear them. Good luck!

Missjulesdid

I LOVE getting people's "fat clothes"... I'm currently a size 22 and I sometimes I'm even given "fat clothes" that are a few sizes too small for me just yet. Sometimes, I get them in a size that is too big for me. Too big gets passed along to someone else.. too small gets saved until I shrink into it... I'm not offended at all and flattered that they are thinking of me!

If we were good friends, I would be offended if you DIDN'T offer me all those super cute clothes FIRST!

Just don't make a big deal of it... A simple "Hey I've got a bunch cute of clothes I'm taking to the Goodwill, Do you want to go through them first?" will suffice.

bajoyba

Judging by the variety of responses here, I think it's a highly individual thing.
Personally, I would love to receive free clothes from someone... provided they are polite about it when they offer!

My BFF and I have exchanged lots of clothes in the past. She's always been a little bigger than I am, but we often wore the same size, particularly in tops. Last fall she lost about 30 pounds and got a lot closer to my original size, so when I started losing weight this year, it seemed natural to offer her my favorite items that I could no longer wear. Not only was she super happy about it, but I'm positive that if I had donated them instead of asking her if she wanted them, she would have been mad! But we have a very close relationship and a similar style, and she really enjoys thrift shopping and re-purposing things.

So I definitely think it depends on the person.

Ashellini

I don't think it's offensive and none of my friends would either. We always give each other the option before anything goes to goodwill.

frizbeemom

I was given fat clothes and gave fat clothes... and it worked well both times but it was from one good friend to another, and they were super nice clothes and we liked the same colors and style. Feel her out in a general sort of way. I broached the subject gently instead of just handing over bags of clothes.

servilia

You mentioned you guys swap clothes sometimes. Well can you lend them to her and then "forget" to ask for it? And if she wants to give it back come up with a reason you don't need it?

MySlimGoals

You can offer it on facebook making it look like you're offering it to everyone - but change your privacy settings for that offer message so that your friend is the only one who can see the offer! Sneaky, but she'll be the one who gets the clothes.

TammyS327

Not if they're cute clothes.

↑↑↑THIS!

Xiaolongbao

Wow. I never realised people were so sensitive.

I keep giving people my old stuff. They seem happy enough.

People keep giving me stuff too. "Hey, now you're skinnier you probably fit my stuff, want some?" I'm always like "hell yes".

And in one story that amuses me vaguely a colleague gave me a skirt because she got too fat for it. I loved it and wore it lots. Then I lost a lot of weight and so did she. She came to me and said "hey, now you're too skinny for that skirt and I've lost weight can I have it back" so the skirt got double recycled.

Personally I'd just say "I'm cleaning out my wardrobe and getting rid of a lot of stuff, are you interested in taking a look through it?" she can say yes or no.

emacb123

Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol

I had the same thought!

allisonrozsa

It depends on the size, and it depends on the person. My sister dropped from a 12 to a 6 a while back and gave me a really node sweater and some really nice suits & dresses to my mom. I'm looking forward to getting into the sweater, but my mom (though she looks great in my sister's clothes) doesn't feel good because she feels fat (she was always tiny). It's kind of a draw. If they are really nice clothes I would be the type of person to gladly accept but it may unintentionally hurt someone else. Give to goodwill or try to sell second hand.

lynda3y9

should not be a problem to ask her is she wants them!!!!!..particularly if she is a good friend.... being on the receiving end numerous times this comes from the perspective of the receiver.....I think it is pratical, it was new clothes to me that didn't cost me anything. somethings that i never would have tried that i ended up loving, .......i probably have 1/4 of my clothes from friends... some who lost weight and some that they just didn't wear anymore. i hope to be giving some away soon and i'll ask the friends, and a couple coworkers, if they are interested (in the good ones only of course).

i have a group of girlfriends who get together regularly and often a bag of clothes come in and we'll all rifle thru it - and we are all different sizes.

if you're concerned how she'll react, all you have to say is you've got some things you are donating and is she interested in checking them out, she is more than welcome. She can take them home, take what she wants, and then donate the rest herself so there is no 'will it fit/size checking' involved --- that's usual the worst part.

and congrats on getting rid of a couple sizes!!

kalea_kane

I never reject free clothes. I could care less why I am getting them. The way you first put it sounds perfect to me.

jgcurry3

Not rude at all. I accept any and all clothes people give to me. I never know when someone will need a change of clothes when they are at my place. Plus whenever disasters happen I always have a surplus of clothes I can donate.

RoadsterGirlie

I don't consider it rude. I had some very expensive corsets that would not have been appreciated by the average goodwill shopper. I gave them to a good friend who was ecstatic to have them.

altinker

Just say that you are doing spring cleaning and cleaning out the closet so you can buy some new stuff. Ask her if she wants any of it before you donate it. If the stuff is cute, she will be interested. My sister in law and I have no problems with that.

Justjamie0418

I give my too big clothes away? Noone has ever acted upset or embarrassed by it.

willdob3

Definitely depends on the person how they would take it. I'm also assuming anyone in their right mind would know better than to ask someone, "Hey, you want my old FAT CLOTHES???" lol...

We've had people at work who've lost weight bring in some of their too big clothing & leave it on a counter for people to go through & take what they want.

I also like the idea of an open invitation on FB, etc.

I don't have money for a new wardrobe so what I am doing is taking my best things to consignment so I can get some cash back to put toward new things. I'll donate everything else.

I gave a friend my best clothes once rather than donate them or take them to consignment & I always regretted it. Her taste is fads, mine is classic. She hoards clothing & is always buying new things. She did not need my things & I am pretty sure she never wore any of them. I wish I had donated my things so someone who really needed some nice things might have been able to enjoy them.

gonnamakeanewaccount

Sell them on eBay.

Siege_Tank

yes.

myfitnessval

nope. i had some really cute clothes and high end stuff that i couldnt part ways with even though i hadnt worn them in MONTHS and i asked a couple friends who were my size if they wanted to take a peek because i couldnt bear giving away my good stuff to bad homes. lol i unloaded a couple pairs of pants/jeans & one of my favorite jackets!

smantha32

Only if you're calling them your fat clothes. I've been on the receiving end more than once and have been told, "Hey, I have some clothes I can't wear any more. Would you like to check them out and see if there's anything you want?" and that was cool with me. I've also been told, "Hey, I've got a ton of fat clothes that don't fit me anymore but they're probably your size," and it pissed me off pretty badly. Didn't help that I was SMALLER than she was, though. It's all in how you word it.

This. It's all how you say it.