Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

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  • juliekaiser1988
    juliekaiser1988 Posts: 604 Member
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    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....

    ^^ Sorry, didn't see this one. Great minds think alike! :)
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Only if the fat friend has lost weight and needs clothes.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Only if they ask.
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
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    I mentioned to one of my friends that I had a whole lot of clothes to donate to a charity, she asked if she could go through them first, problem solved!
  • aszwarc
    aszwarc Posts: 200 Member
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    I just had to deal with this. A friend, who I've never actually met in person - we know each other from online, is also losing weight. She started a lot bigger than me and has lost enough weight to be several sizes smaller than when she started. I'm going through my wardrobe both for season change and because everything is too big now, and I just asked her if she wanted anything. I know money is tight in her house. And she's made comments that she seems to be in either her workout clothes or her bathrobe lately. So I boxed up a bunch of things and sent them to her. And she knows that there's another box worth that's down a size from those things waiting for her.

    I was nervous about offering because I didn't want to offend her, but she took it in the spirit in which it was intended. I know she's planning to lose even more weight and wearing these things will allow her to be clothed without spending anything. There's a note in the box that anything she doesn't want (or when she diets out of them) should be donated to the charity of her choice.

    Heck, I had a gift card to Lane Bryant that I had earned for taking surveys that I can't use any more (hooray for sizing out!) that I put in the box, too, so she can get undies or bras.

    tl;dr: if you're comfortable with your friends, then make the offer. Just don't go out of your way to offend them with your wording.
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
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    No! That being, you probably shouldn't say "here are my fat clothes I thought you would want them!"

    Many of my best work clothes are from a friend who has much better shopping taste than I do, lost a ton of weight on MFP (and looks AWESOME!), and so let me go "shopping" in her closet. :):)
  • A_Fit_Mom
    A_Fit_Mom Posts: 602 Member
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    I don't think it is rude. Unless you say "ok, I lost weight and I would like to know if you want my fat clothes, since I can't wear them anymore. "


    If they are your close friend, you can just say "Hey, I am getting some new clothes and wondered if you wanted to come raid my closet before I get rid of some clothes to make room".
  • StArBeLLa87
    StArBeLLa87 Posts: 1,582 Member
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    Lol I hope it isn't offensive because I had a brand new pair of capris that were big on me not to mention I never wore and I offered it to one of my colleagues! Lmao oops...
  • Cartersnew61
    Cartersnew61 Posts: 4
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    Yes I think so. Just to be on the safe side just donate them to charity...I'm sure there is a person in need who has just a little less than you who would love to have them.
  • AA1ex
    AA1ex Posts: 223 Member
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    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    ^ This is how my friends and I have done it because if there is an outfit she secretly hates and you try to give it to her she is going to feel obligatied to take it if she likes other things as well, if you zero her out. Here, it gives her the freedom to say "aw I have always liked this" and you can let her know its her's then. :)
  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
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    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    I am torn on this one.... On one hand it seems good, but on the other hand, you are still "calling out that one chubby friend for your far clothes." Most females would see right through that and still consider it 'bing singled out for left over fat clothes'... And you are back to friends that would be fine with it and friends that would feel offended.

    Edited for the typos I caught, which may not be all of them.

    Depends on how you bring it up. Mention while hanging with them that you need to sort through them and could use help. It really isn't that difficult.

    Yea I think way too many women are being way TOO sensitive. And what kind of friends do you have?
    My friends and I have swapped clothes back & forth all the time throughout the years.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    SMH. I guess my friendships are way different than the norm or all of my friends and family are rude. Look, I was fat, I know this, they know this. When both a friend and my mother lost some weight and knew I was approaching size 12 (due to losing), they both offered me their pants/jeans. This is not charity, it's being thoughtful and caring by offering their clothes to someone they know and care about who they know can use them rather than just dropping them off at Goodwill or making a deal with a consignment shop.

    OP, I think since you've been friends with this person for so long, you should be able to be open and honest with them and avoid the whole generic FB post BS. Why be sneaky? It's such a waste of time and energy! Just call or email her and say "hey I've got a couple cute dresses I think you'd love, want to come over (or have you bring them to her) to try them on? If she says no, fine, bring them to Goodwill or something.
  • AlyssaJoJo
    AlyssaJoJo Posts: 449 Member
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    I don't find this as rude at all. When my mom had WLS I got all her old fat clothes and LOVED it. I gave some to my fat friends and they LOVED it. I've even mailed off some of my clothes that have become too big to women I have met on here - guess what... they loved it.
  • crissyniko
    crissyniko Posts: 47 Member
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    I laughed at the topic of this thread because in March I called my twin sister who lives in New Jersey and asked her if I could have her "fat clothes" since she has lost so much weight!!! She told me she already gave them away, so I said maybe I should just lose some weight! Her reply was "Good idea" then I started the exercise and tracking on April 1
  • vickyg1
    vickyg1 Posts: 211 Member
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    I guess Im just not senstitive. I have a friend who gives me her old clothes and Im like Hell yeah!!!!
  • HapThompson
    HapThompson Posts: 48 Member
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    My friend and I had a swap - my too-big stuff for her too-small stuff! She suggested it... Sadly her too small stuff is now too big, which is a shame because i really loved some of the stuff I got from her.

    I've given stuff to other friends - people I knew would be fine with it. My colleague is wearing a shirt I gave her at work today. It looks really good on her, way better than it ever did on me! I've also donated stuff and sold stuff on Ebay.

    I think you have to play it by ear depending on the friend and your relationship with them. I wouldn't try to give anything to my sister for example, as I might get my eyes scratched out in a fit of jealousy...
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
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    Just say you've got a bunch of clothes you're going to give to Goodwill, but you wanted her to go through them to see if there is anything that she wants - then she can pick what she wants and you can donate the rest.

    Don't mention they're your "fat" clothes, just say you're planning on donating them and leave it at that.
  • Power_Man77
    Power_Man77 Posts: 207
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    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    I agree or try a consignment shop get a few bucks
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....
    Totally cool idea! :happy:

    Agreed!
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
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    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    This is exactly what I was thinking! :laugh: :laugh:

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