SPOUSE/PARTNER HONEST FEELINGS

245

Replies

  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    My husband is very supportive, but it wasn't always like that. First he didn't believe I would follow through with it, then after the first 20 lbs he started with the whole "What you're going to get all hot and leave me?" remarks, then by 50 lbs, he started the whole "Are you seeing someone else?" Now he is at a point where he knows better and is 100% behind me. At the smallest I've ever been besides birth and child hood lol.
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    My wife is not too supportive.... unless shecan turn the conversation back to her self...
  • musicmeasuresup
    musicmeasuresup Posts: 2
    Wow, perfect timing for this topic as I've had it on my mind this morning.
    I have embarked on many weight loss regimes in my 42-1/2 years. Some with great success only to fall apart after the fact.
    This is the first time that I have done a complete 360, walked away from Weight Watchers and started strength training. Never have I felt so strong, seen such dramatic results (inches not scale lol) and I plan on going all the way.
    So last night I was telling my daughter how I am going to get rid of all my clothes as I grow out of them (which is what's happening rapidly) I turned to look at my husband and I could literally see him biting his tongue. I knew with certainty that in his head he was saying, "yeah sure, just like every other time eh?". He would never say that to me, but I knew that was exactly what was going through his mind.
    I have decided that his doubt just makes me angry and sooooooooooo determined. I WILL succeed!!!! Without his even knowing, he is helping me lol.
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    She's fine with it. We do lots of things together though so it's probably not a fair comparison. However, she DOES appreciate that I am in better shape and tells me all the time.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I think my husband is frustrated with how much I talk about my fitness journey.

    He's been very supportive about it, I just wish I could see the changes I am making have any effect on his willingness to jump in the sack. ;) Sadly, he seems preoccupied elsewhere. I guess it's a good thing I'm doing this for me and not him!
  • CaffeinatedConfectionist
    CaffeinatedConfectionist Posts: 1,046 Member
    It led to a break-up for me, but the fitness aspect wasn't the only factor, just the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd become increasingly disenchanted with him in general, as he really didn't do anything other than sit around. He never wanted to go out and do things and would complain if I went out, was always negative, and essentially had no friends other than mine, so as you can imagine living with him was a whirlwind of excitement and joy. When he started b****ing about how much time I spent working out, and began acting like a petulant child and storming off to sulk, that was it. I dumped his ***, and never looked back. And honestly, this whole thing got 1000x times easier now that I don't feel burdened by guilt or complaints.
  • MNA76
    MNA76 Posts: 1,541
    My husband loves it. We are both in this together. He very much enjoys the benefits that come with me getting fit and healthy.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    how does ur partner react .to ur fitness journey? Results?New look? Time spent at the gym... ?I can tell u mine is not real thrilled about it ,says I spend too much time at the gym and worrying about the way I look...:(
    Mine sees the positive that has come from this journey, not only in the way I look, but in the way it helps me to be a calmer, happier, healthier, more energetic wife and mama. He joins me when he can, because he wants all these things for himself as well. And he's supportive of me slipping away once a week to be thrown around and punched at by a bunch of tough guys because he'd like to see me get to the next level. :wink:
  • ShaneWinston58
    ShaneWinston58 Posts: 156 Member
    Lucky me. I do not have a partner at this time. I am not looking for one either. If it happens that I meet someone then it happens. I am perfectly fine on my own...well with my mother living with me. She is great, so it wouldn't be a problem if I met someone. Obviously, since I am on my own, I can workout anytime. I guess this subject really isn't for me. Except for my mother living with me. She is glad to see me working out and gradually loosing weight.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    Dunno? He doesn't really say too much. My hubby is a man of very few complimentary words. Oh well...what can u do?

    mine is also very limited with the words. i can tell he likes the changes. and a few times I've been lifting when he came home from
    work and he seemed to be in a better mood. even if he doesn't say so often, he wants me lifting. and getting healthier.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Mine also complains about the time, even though I workout at home. And he's always telling me I am obsessed with calories, grams of this and that, which is fair because I do get too obsessive about numbers (I'm a data analyst, it comes with the territory).

    But even though I believe he was being honest when he said he thought I looked good before, I know he likes the results. He spends an embarrassing amount of time talking about how firm my bum is now. :laugh: And if I consider skipping my evening workout because I’m tired he'll usually say "You might as well go do it, you know you'll just complain later if you don't."
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
    My fiancé is proud of my hard work and makes it easy for me to get to the gym because he knows it's important to me. We have a 2.5 year old son so we have to work together to get time for ourselves. Without his support, it would be much more difficult for me to be successful in my weight-loss journey. He is also working on his own goals (he only wants to lose 10lbs and tone up - I'm jealous) and I do my part to ensure he gets time to go to the gym as well.
  • treehopper1987
    treehopper1987 Posts: 505 Member
    He's fine with it. He knows it makes me happy so that's all that matters to him. I also try and do it mostly on my own time (5am while everyone is sleeping) so it doesn't have a huge impact on family stuff. The only thing he doesn't like is when I try and power through an injury. :happy:

    My husband is very similar to this. He doesn't think that I need to lose weight, and loves me for who I am. BUT he knows it makes me feel more confident and happy so he doesn't say anything about it. Plus, I think he sort of likes it when I challenge him to do things, and be more active.
  • lavieboheme1229
    lavieboheme1229 Posts: 448 Member
    My fiance didn't want to actively participate in losing weight, but he did lose some weight by association. He never complained about the healthy foods I made for dinner, or the smaller serving I gave him. I also didn't leave to go to the gym on a regular basis. I would work out at home with weights etc. But he always was supportive while I was working out.

    And he totally digs the new body. He won't keep his hands off me. We are getting married on Friday, and I have to keep reminding him we will be photographed 24/7, he can't have his hand on my *kitten* all night. :wink:
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    My hubby of 28 years loves it, supports it, and encourages it.

    He's an avid cook, and he carefully weighs and measures things as he's cooking so I can log everything in one of his fabulous creation. He compliments and congratulates me, and makes no fuss if I get up early or come home late because I'm at the gym.
  • mink63
    mink63 Posts: 35
    My husband is supportive 95% of the time and total annoyed 5%. Once in a while he'll use my exercise against me "you spend all the time working out!" I usually ignore those comments because I bring the kids with me, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. I've always worked out, so it's not something new to him. He has complained about my healthy eating habits (although most of the time he compliments me for it), but I never give him any crap for having chocolate cakes and sourdough bread and crap in the house. I have good will power, so it doesn't bother me. He's very happy with the changes in my body (mostly my butt), so he really does try to be supportive.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    I met my husband in a powerlifting gym when I was 17 , I got lucky with that, he loves that I am in shape and that we both are in this together.

    had track practice together in HS, definitely a plus when they love to workout too.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    mine is fully supportive, says good job honey, and bought me new balance runners and an elliptical. Now if only he'd work out WITH me
  • jersey_jenn
    jersey_jenn Posts: 122 Member
    my s.o. says i look ok once in a while, but he also tries to stuff me full of garbage every chance he gets, despite me asking him not to. sometimes if i go out without him he'll make b!tchy comments too. oh well, i'm still going to stick with it, i want the change for myself. if he can't ride with it, time to find another bus.
  • LoveAndInsanity
    LoveAndInsanity Posts: 16
    My SO is supportive of my fitness journey to some extent...He likes me slim (like how we met) but I'm not on a quest to just get slim again...I want to have some muscle definition and be strong..he thinks I'm going to get muscular like a man. I love him greatly but this journey isn't about me being just physically attractive to him...I want to be healthy, strong, and fit so I am pressing forward with my desires. I think he will change his mind once I get close to that point...I just want to be tight and toned. I think I am just going to take a similar approach to a fellow poster...its so that I can be around longer for our children which is what its really about...setting good examples.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    We can all say what we think, however we do not know the situation you live with. Some people are derelict in their duties for things such as their hobbies, etc. So only you have that answer to which you seek. I do not know if you are spending rent money at the gym, or buying weigh-loss pills and not paying the rent.

    however take all of those things aside, why don't you talk to him about it and see what is really bothering him. Maybe he likes you as you are. Maybe he is jealous because he doesn't have the motivation you do, maybe he worries some guys will hit on you, maybe you don't spend enough time together.
  • 1MariaChristina
    1MariaChristina Posts: 93 Member
    he had been pretty unsupportive in the most non verbal way possible-he would continue to bring junk in the house wouldn't join me to the gym and stuff like that but I guess he realized I was going to do it with or with out him and he has come around a lot with regards to no more junk in the house but you know how the saying goes-you can lead a horse to water.

    with or without him im doing this for me he can hop on for the ride or he can get the hell out of my way. i
  • KodAkuraMacKyen
    KodAkuraMacKyen Posts: 737 Member
    My husband loves it. He knows how much happier I am now. For a while he was working out with me. I loved it. Now, we just have a more active life together.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    My wife says "Stop admiring yourself in the mirror."
  • RavenWolf1977
    RavenWolf1977 Posts: 39 Member
    My husband is supportive and loves the "new me!" He is happy that I am happy.

    However, he is insecure. He tells me quite honestly that he is afraid when I get to goal weight I will leave him for someone else. After 12.5 years, two kids, and a new home together I have no plans on looking elsewhere!

    LOL!
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    Mine is really jealous. She says that its been easy for me and that guys "loose weight quicker than girls". Easy??? I've been at this for 3 YEARS!!!! That is not easy. I've had ups and downs and she has seen it all. And as far as gus loosing easier than girls, I'm gonna have to call BS on that. She was on MFP for a hot minute.. tracked her calories and watched what she ate for about a month. She lost 10LBS!! 10!!! She just got lazy and doesn't do anything. I have tried to get her involved in my workouts and offered to workout with her, but she just wants to sit on the couch and watch her reality shows and maybe attend a Zumba class every other week.

    *sigh*. I guess that is just me venting.
  • jacklis
    jacklis Posts: 280 Member
    I could not do this without my hubby. He cooks supper for me and our teenage sons while I am at the gym training, gets up and gets me a protein shake before I get out of bed, and praises every inch and pound I loose.
    I do my best to let him know how much I appreciate his support. :wink:
  • DesDawn24
    DesDawn24 Posts: 147 Member
    Mine was only vaguely aware that I was going to the gym until recently, when he started to notice. Of course, he only noticed because his favorite area is shrinking lol. He's very supportive though, and the gym never interferes with our time together. I'm lucky in the sense that I get off work an hour and a half before he does, so I use that time for my gym time!
  • egwene1977
    egwene1977 Posts: 69
    He still likes his crap food from time to time, but he has been VERY supportive of my efforts...and he even eats healthier meals with me now. I think he's getting a little worried that I'm catching up to him in weight (I used to outweigh him by 50 pounds), so now he's starting to work out too. No complaints here :wink:
  • mamosh81
    mamosh81 Posts: 409 Member
    My husband is supportive. He always said I looked great before but since I've started he can't keep his hands off me at all. I just wish that he would join me in this but he seems to have no desire at all.

    same goes for my boyfriend he always said he loved me how i am but he stopped buying chocolate and junk food to support me, it was actually his idea to do that when i was down about not losing anything, and since i lost weight our sex life got a lot better and he tells me i am glowing now and looking so much healthier and more happy

    edit* spelling bug

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