SPOUSE/PARTNER HONEST FEELINGS

135

Replies

  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
    i honestly couldn't tell you, he never complains about time spent exercising, or healthy food, but hes very fond of trying to feed me unhealthy stuff (don't think its intentional just doesn't get the concept being a perfect weight) and the only time he ever tells me how well i'm doing is if somebody else starts complementing me or i'm feeling low because i don't seem to be getting anywhere

    i blame his mum lol its the way hes been brought up, "never talk about your feelings, keep them bottled up"
  • amber_michelle30
    amber_michelle30 Posts: 108 Member
    He is very supportive. Even when my kids ask him why I'm gone so much he tells them I'm trying to get healthy. I, however, do wish it would motivate him a little more. He says he wants to go to the gym but never takes initiative. I just told him I'm making him go to spinning with me over lunch. He threw a fit, I said I'd be there in 15 minutes and hung up the phone:)
  • dbratton87
    dbratton87 Posts: 55 Member
    It's not had any affect on us. Well, I am happier so we get along better and, despite what he says, I feel he is more attracted to me (although he has always had a pretty high....drive iykwim). But we have always had our own things going on. We spend plenty of time together but we have always had different hobbies and we never ate the same foods. I don't let my new obsession with health and fitness cause me to judge or nag others. Not even my husband. He can eat however he wants and he won't hear a word from me. I was super unhealthy before and no one ever nagged me about it. It would have been super annoying and hurtful if they had so I refuse to be that person. His health checks out fine so far so we're good.
  • rebelate
    rebelate Posts: 218 Member
    He's happy I'm happy!

    I'm making better choices, and making changes for both of us. He's supportive of anything I do. I appreciate him being there for me, and helping me feel good about what I'm doing. If I get upset, or discouraged, he'll tell me I started doing this for health, and not weight. He tells me how ~beautiful I am, and how much he loves me through it all. He bought us Fitbits, and thinks I am an amazing cook.

    He's just wonderful, and perfect, tbh.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    My boyfriend is:

    --Not at all interested in doing my journey "with" me, and does not adhere to my diet, BUT
    --he will occasionally accompany me to the gym to lift, or a park to take walks
    --he will gently dissuade me from eating things I know I shouldn't eat when I haven't planned it into my calories for the day
    --he compliments me about achieving my fitness / calorie goals
    --he eats whatever I cook and almost always compliments me on it

    and the best one...

    --even though he has always found me sexy (and tells me that often), he does notice the results I'm starting to get.
    The other day he told me my stomach looked smaller. :3

    All in all, I really couldn't ask for a more supportive partner. :heart:
  • 2stepscloser
    2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
    My husband has been super supportive. He's working out and eating well too. Of course, he's loved me at all different sizes but I can say we are both enjoying the benefits of this journey. :wink: :blushing:
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    My husband is pretty oblivious. To most of life. (Aeronautical engineer... Need I say more??)

    I workout while he is at work most the time. He never cares if I workout in the even or weekend. He likes that I am happy, likes when I get together with friends, likes my bum and abs, like that I take care of myself and set an example for the kids.

    But he doesn't really care or notice what I do specifically. He doesn't work out himself or watch macros, calories, whatnot. It I don't expect him to.
  • teamnevergoingback
    teamnevergoingback Posts: 368 Member
    My boyfriend is the most supportive man I have ever met... he has never once complained. In fact, in fear that my new lifestyle would cause me to leave him behind on the couch, he joined the gym WITH me and we both learned how to cook together. We are at the gym together 8am and we are both so much happier doing it together! When I started alone, it was harder with him eating fast food and smoking and just wanting to watch TV all the time... It is a real possibility that I would have left him behind eventually had we not been in this together. We are improving every day!!!!
  • turkeyhunter60
    turkeyhunter60 Posts: 319 Member
    She knows I'm happy with the results, and respects what I am doing, but not hugely supportive.
  • JoanB5
    JoanB5 Posts: 610 Member
    I've been on both sides of this in various seasons. It became a matter of prayer, and this season, we are in it together. I'm not sure I'd do it at all without him, at least not to the level I've been able to this season. I'd rather us be on the same page and have peace in our home. I really need his support and encouragement. To know we are both trying right now is such a blessing. He has an injury right now, so we've had to make some adaptations, and I try to do things he can't do with me on my own time to make it easier on him.

    He can eat more caloriesand grew up eating a lot of bacon grease and six course meals, so the ways I try new health food isn't up his ally sometimes. I've learned to eat "my food" for breakfast and lunch and then good something recognizable for supper, or only throw in one "I don't know about that" dish, and not the main dish. : ) I really want my family to feel loved and taken care of, and it not just be about "me and my health". I want to be a nurturer, wherever they are. I try to save enough calories for a decent supper with them, or slightly modify my takings so that they are still feeling "normal".
  • Jezebel_Barbie
    Jezebel_Barbie Posts: 198 Member
    He is extremely supportive and tells me all the time how proud he is of me. We share cooking 50/50 and he does everything he can to help me reach my goals. I wouldn't be with anyone who offered anything less.
  • Ninguneado73
    Ninguneado73 Posts: 832
    At best indifferent, at worst angry.....
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    And he knows I can lift more weight than him, plank longer, etc....

    Well, maybe not more weight on all moves, but I can out Deadlift and barbell row him, I bet. And he can't do a bench dip to save his life. Not more than 3 anyway.

    I tell him I could beat him up if I wanted to, so be nice to me....LOL
  • teamnevergoingback
    teamnevergoingback Posts: 368 Member
    I could not do this without my hubby. He cooks supper for me and our teenage sons while I am at the gym training, gets up and gets me a protein shake before I get out of bed, and praises every inch and pound I loose.
    I do my best to let him know how much I appreciate his support. :wink:

    That's so sweet. :flowerforyou:
  • bodsquadgirl
    bodsquadgirl Posts: 2 Member
    how does ur partner react .to ur fitness journey? Results?New look? Time spent at the gym... ?I can tell u mine is not real thrilled about it ,says I spend too much time at the gym and worrying about the way I look...:(

    I can relate...my husband workouts also; however, he's not on the eating healthy band-wagon...lol. And he doesn't support me or is thrilled about it. He thinks I am doing it for other reasons. I am honestly doing it for myself. I'd love to compete in bikini or figure competition and I am also interested in getting my personal training certificate for online coaching and even my personal knowledge, but he didn't respond to anything when I told him. And anytime we ever talk about working out he tries to contradict anything I say...
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    he said i look dead sexy.

    then i got a pixie cut. now i look manly.

    but not so manly that im not sexy.

    but manly enough he says id be a good bodyguard.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    I've lost over 100 pounds and have become much more fit and healthy in every way. My spouse hasn't really ever commented on it. sigh/shrug/WTF
  • quellybelly
    quellybelly Posts: 827 Member
    My boyfriend is fine with it and has been very supportive. He has even taken it upon himself to get a little naggy with me sometimes, like when I'm eyeing the last scoop of dinner and he reminds me about how I only have so many cals left :p he's also taken my chocolate stash hostage cuz I can't seem to keep my hands away from them! lol. And he makes comments on my progress and always makes me feel sexy :) definitely great to have his support - it's extra motivation!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    I'm fairly certain that my boyfriend doesn't really care. It's not that he discourages me or anything, but sometimes when I say I am going to exercise he suggests I do some sort of house work that really isn't important at the time instead. He also hasn't really said anything about how I look. The one time he has said anything it was something like, "I'm proud of you, but..." I don't want any "buts." I want an "I'm proud of you." (note the period) It doesn't really matter, though. While I would like him to be more openly supportive and encouraging, I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing it for me.
  • HMVOL7409
    HMVOL7409 Posts: 1,588 Member
    My husband loves it as I love and support what he does. We are each others biggest supporters and I love bouncing workout ideas and questions off him and training with him.
  • Ninguneado73
    Ninguneado73 Posts: 832
    I'm fairly certain that my boyfriend doesn't really care. It's not that he discourages me or anything, but sometimes when I say I am going to exercise he suggests I do some sort of house work that really isn't important at the time instead. He also hasn't really said anything about how I look. The one time he has said anything it was something like, "I'm proud of you, but..." I don't want any "buts." I want an "I'm proud of you." (note the period) It doesn't really matter, though. While I would like him to be more openly supportive and encouraging, I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing it for me.

    he is either blind, or if he is not takes a wonderful and beautiful woman for granted...YES do it for you..it is the ONLY way
  • bmstee03
    bmstee03 Posts: 119 Member
    My husband started out all passive-aggressive 'hey I made you some cake'. Then after I shed 60lbs and started getting 'noticed' by other men he got all defensive and eventually he joined me and has lost 20lbs of his own. He was convinced I was now super hot an therefor I would leave him. Silly man. Now we work out together and are much closer because of our common goals.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,700 Member
    We are in our 60s and without grossing anyone out my DH really appreciates my new body :blushing: :laugh:
    He never complained when I put a lot of weight on thro chemo for cancer and was always loving thro it all, but I could see he was concerned by my mobility problems and health issues.
    He looks at me really admiringly now and is going to buy me a new dress for an upcoming family occasion.
    He is really fit himself and super slim so my diet has made him lose weight and get too skinny. I have to feed him some extra calories. Every morning we work on the gym machines together, tho he can burn up more calories than me. I love working out with him. I don't think I could have done it on my own as I am naturally lazy.
    Sometimes I think he can hardly believe how far I have come and just beams at me!
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
    I've started this road many times during our 11 years as husband & wife, and so many times I've quit. When I started my routine at the end of January this year, I know he thought that I would quit again. I could see it in his face when he came home and I told him I did a workout already that evening.

    As the days went by and turned into weeks, I could see that he was proud of me. If I changed my routine up or missed a workout, he would ask if I was okay. When I bought a new Easter dress, he said "You look so beautiful!" A few days ago he said I looked like I lost 50 lbs.

    Instead of leaving the house when I workout, so I can have privacy, he stays and watches and tells me pointers. "Your knees are going forward too far." Or some other helpful tip. He also really enjoys taking my progress pics each month, even though he says he doesn't.

    I would have to say that my hubby has been great with helping me progress and encouraging me when I get down about the slow pace of things.
  • VanCityFit
    VanCityFit Posts: 105 Member
    My husband is a bodybuilder so he spends more time in the gym than I do. We met through fitness and I think that since we both have a passion for it it makes our relationship that much stronger. He pushes me when I need it and I am very supportive of him as well.

    A family that weighs food together stays together!!
  • Lisa_Rhodes
    Lisa_Rhodes Posts: 263 Member
    He's a great supporter. He's in the Military, so we motivate each other a lot. He teases me every once in a while about logging or wanting to cook my own food for weighing purposes (he doesn't measure or portion anything), but he's very supportive. The gym thing doesn't get in the way bc I do that while at work :smile:
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    My boyfriend started with me! We first did a program together, then I moved on to Insanity and he moved on to P90x because I have weight to lose, he doesn't but he wants to gain some muscle :)
  • kookanddra
    kookanddra Posts: 92
    At first my husband didn't say anything about me "trying" to loose weight. Then after I dropped almost 25 pounds and 2 sizes his insecurities really came out. He is overweight himself and when we both were, it was fine. Now he drops guilt trips and puts himself down to make me feel bad. If I work out at home he'll say something like "there you go making me feel even fatter". I confronted him because he made me feel bad but I didn't want to stop working out. I told him that he frames houses all day which is a workout and I sit behind a desk. Working out or walking is my only exercise. He said he was sorry and said I looked really good. He just has his own insecurities that he needs to deal with. I'm doing this for me and no one else!!! My kids support me and I feel great. If he can't handle it, then that's his problem. Not mine!!
  • aleesh_
    aleesh_ Posts: 137 Member
    At first my husband was insecure and thought I would leave him when I got skinny, he even said once that he wished I would stay 300 pounds forever but he knows that being that weight isn't healthy and that I need to be healthy for our kids. kids This was awhile ago, I think he feels much more secure now. He's never tried to sabotage my diet or stop me from working out though :)
  • Shawshankcan
    Shawshankcan Posts: 900 Member
    My wife supports me in everything I do, well beyond fitness. What makes it easier though, she is on her own fitness quest. We have different goals and as such are on different paths to get there, but the support is there.

    In reverse, I support her and her quests, but I think I sometimes become like an over bearing parent at a hockey game. I want to help her succeed in everything she does as much as I want to succeed.

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