that "skinny b*tch" moment

PrincessEliNa · May 2013

You have done a wonderful job losing all the weight. You look wonderful and I'm sure you feel wonderful. I'm so sorry you were bullied in school. It sounds absolutely horrible.
That being said, I think it would have been a better ending for you to have let him know that he really hurt you, and then forgive him. I think he probably went out on a limb to apologize to you, even if it was awkward and not well-worded. He could have just pretended he didn't recognize you, right? Like another poster said, I wasn't there, so I can't really picture exactly the circumstances or the attitudes involved, so I may be off base, but I truly think a kinder and higher road to take would have been to graciously accept his apology.

I never get mentalities like this. Why, after enduring years of teasing, casual cruelty, and torment, is one supposed to take the 'high' road? Why is the burden on the bullied person to be the 'better man'? So the Bully can have the satisfaction of being a good person now and go to sleep at night content in the knowledge that they've been forgiven and the years they spent causing someone else pain are just wiped clean? Forget that.

I was viciously bullied in high school, to a point that I had to have my entire class schedule rearranged (Funny how I was the one who had to change and not the bullies) and I can honestly say there are some people out in the world who I wish live long lives, full of pain and suffering and not a single shred of happiness.

OT: Good for you OP, and you were beautiful before and beautiful now.

Because, ultimately, forgiveness isn't about the bully. It's about learning to let go of the rage, anger, sadness, or bitterness that exists when you "don't get" that mentality. Whether you realize it's there or not, that sort of resentment can be very toxic to oneself.

I admit that I was never bullied, and I've definitely never bullied others, but I agree with this post. It's easy to be angry, but ultimately, I believe that forgiveness, letting things go, not letting our own strong emotions get in our way, that's when we're happiest.

OP, if that moment made you feel good about yourself, and your progress, I'm happy for you (like I said, I was never bullied, so I don't know what that moment would be like...) and I hope you continue to progress :flowerforyou:

ClearNotCloudyMind · May 2013

Great stuff! Funny thing is you were rather pretty even in your before photo, despite the extra insulation! Pity kids at high school can't see past the silhouette.

NikaVonD · May 2013

Wow! Congrats! You look awesome right now

pcastagner · May 2013

Bullying is a complicated thing, but try to remember that it doesn't only hurt the victim. It also hurts the perpetrator.

I was bullied for my weight and the way my brain works as a kid. In turn, I found a smaller fish to bully. Apparently that puts me in a very small category, but I can assure you that I carry around the damage from both. I do understand your reaction, and while you are justified, you might want to think about bringing your confidence to an even higher level. You have earned it. But remember that this awful thing can only be stopped by those in positions of authority, and the ethical failure ultimately lies with the school.

irishblonde2011 · May 2013

I love the fact you told him where to go but remained classy. Well done

cook6609 · May 2013

Awesome!!!! You are so right!!! He's only sorry because you weren't fat anymore... I'm glad you said what you did... You look amazing by the way :-)

Shalini_15 · May 2013

Amazing

Too good an answer in the face

bearkisses · May 2013

you girl, are amazeballs!

cald0nia · May 2013

Yayy... beautiful!

jenbenefit · May 2013

*kitten* yeaah!
If I could high five you, I would right now :drinker:

linsey0689 · May 2013

omg this made me so happy to read

. also great job!

majoki · May 2013

Awesome! That's usually one of things you think of to say after you've missed your moment, but you got it right on cue!!

:flowerforyou:

Imigen04 · May 2013

This is such an awesome post! You were and are beautiful and also your smile is contagious

keep smiling and being you

bossyfairy · May 2013

Lol! That did make me smile. Well done for actually standing up for yourself. Now if only you could travel back in time and tell your teenage self you would have that opportunity...

babydiego87 · May 2013

congrats, what a great story. you look hot :flowerforyou:

heatherloveslifting · May 2013

Omg you are SO adorable! And wow, what a jerk. I'm glad you had the power this time.

lioness803 · May 2013

Wow, you do look AMAZING! Great job, and way to go on not letting years of bullying make you insecure-because that response shows you are definitely not insecure!