Problems with future brother-in-law

CM9178

AglaeaC wrote: »

CM9178 wrote: »

the solution for us, has been to laugh it off. Trust me, we are not miserable by any means. We now treat him like the joke that he is, and don't take anything he says seriously whatsoever. Sure, it still irks me when he says something rude, but not to the point where I feel the need to make it a bigger issue with anybody by having this big "discussion" about it. It isn't worth the effort. Its not like my life happiness depends on whether or not this idiot is nice to me.

I also forgot to mention, while at his bachelor party weekend, my husband discussed it a bit with BIL's best friend - and that friend told him he does the same thing to him ALL THE TIME. So clearly, if that's his best friend he is talking to that way, then he has no filter and doesn't think he's being a jerk. He wouldn't be purposely talking that way to someone who he considered his best friend.

Yet you keep posting here. You have two options, either take it up with someone (sister and/or douche, preferable douche) in an adult way (calmly and eloquently presented negative feedback with a solution offered at the end) or you accept the situation as it is now, make peace with it and shut up about it.

At this point it doesn't matter WHY the douche is behaving the way he is. Question is what you will do after you have pondered cost/benefits and consequences, then chosen one of two options. Currently you are in neither yesland nor noland, but in bitchinglandwherenoprogressisbeingmade.

Honestly, I came back and posted an update recently because I had completely forgotten about my original post and when I came across it, I thought it may interest some people to read an update. I didn't come back here looking for anything more really, just wanted to share some updates on new things he had said. Also, there is nothing wrong with complaining about things - sometimes that's all you need to make you feel better - not EVERYTHING needs to be talked about and not everything requires an actual "solution". My "solution" is to complain about it when it bugs me, and laugh the rest of the time.

CM9178

snowflake954 wrote: »

Several people have said that he sounds like he has aspergers syndrome. I think you and your husband should read up on it to understand his behavior and learn how to handle him. There are ways to respond to him, and if that's the problem it means he doesn't have it in for you---he just can't help it. Ask your sister if he has it. Confronting this is better than sweeping it under the rug, or laughing at someone who might have a handicap. Also, their children could have it and it's better all around to have some coping skills. Best of luck.

He doesn't have it. My sister is a Special Ed teacher and is VERY familiar with Aspergers. If he had it, or she thought he had it, she would've said something to me a long long time ago.