Is this the worst that can happen to me?
CrazyTrackLady
Posts: 1,337 Member
I've seen a lot of posts that are written in panic mode: I ate 300 more calories than I should! I've worked out all week long and haven't lost a pound! My fingers feel fat! WHAT DO I DO?
Folks, let's put some proper perspective about life back into the equation. NONE of the above situations are life threatening and critical.
I've led a very fortunate life free of major health problems. I'm not here to lose a lot of weight, I'm here to become healthier.
If you think about it, there are problems greater than calorie overages. For example, have you ever had to watch a child die from cancer? I have. Have you had to deal with a student whose father killed his mother, then turned the gun on himself? I have. Have you ever had to attend the funeral of a two-year old? I have.
Every time I'm faced with a plateau, or my progress seems to have stopped, or I go over my calories, or I am experiencing a lack of motivation, I ask myself: "Is this really the worst that can happen to me?" And the answer always is, NO.
Let's put some perspective back in our lives. For some people, being overweight is a life threatening situation. And I don't include them in this post. But, for those who worry about these things for vanity's sake, it's time to stop whining and start asking yourself: "Is this the worst that can happen to me?".
I bet the answer is also NO.
Folks, let's put some proper perspective about life back into the equation. NONE of the above situations are life threatening and critical.
I've led a very fortunate life free of major health problems. I'm not here to lose a lot of weight, I'm here to become healthier.
If you think about it, there are problems greater than calorie overages. For example, have you ever had to watch a child die from cancer? I have. Have you had to deal with a student whose father killed his mother, then turned the gun on himself? I have. Have you ever had to attend the funeral of a two-year old? I have.
Every time I'm faced with a plateau, or my progress seems to have stopped, or I go over my calories, or I am experiencing a lack of motivation, I ask myself: "Is this really the worst that can happen to me?" And the answer always is, NO.
Let's put some perspective back in our lives. For some people, being overweight is a life threatening situation. And I don't include them in this post. But, for those who worry about these things for vanity's sake, it's time to stop whining and start asking yourself: "Is this the worst that can happen to me?".
I bet the answer is also NO.
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Replies
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You know, just cause you've witnessed a bunch of stuff doesn't mean other people's concerns are invalid. Seeking advice and support is what this board is for. Um, look at the title.
I'm a cancer survivor. I think I've suffered enough for you. At some point I may be concerned about a hamstring or something less threatening. That's what this board is about.0 -
of course overeating 300 calories or working hard all week and not losing are not the worst things in the world....BUT it may be the current worst thing in the world for that person at this moment in life. there will always be someone who is going through something worse than us but we cant walk in those shoes. each person has their own life struggles and we cant know WHY they may have overeaten by 300 calories. maybe they just found out some terrible news or THEY are dealing with a stressful situation that they just don't share.
I am truly sorry that you have gone through some horrific circumstances in your life. having said that, i believe I too have had struggles that, by comparison may not be as horrific, but they were just as traumatic for me!
right now I still think I have the right to be unhappy if I worked out hard all week and made no noticeable progress. I shouldn't feel guilty about owning those feelings because someone else out there has is way worse. and neither should anyone else.0 -
I agree with the OP. Seek advice is fine, but stop acting like it is the end of the world.
:drinker:0 -
You totally missing the point
I'm a cancer survivor. I think I've suffered enough for you.0 -
You totally missing the point
I'm a cancer survivor. I think I've suffered enough for you.
No I'm not. You just don't get it. PS you're totally missing an 're0 -
You totally missing the point
I'm a cancer survivor. I think I've suffered enough for you.
No I'm not. You just don't get it. PS you're totally missing an 're
Oh, English is my second language....
But thank you for the heads up
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You know, just cause you've witnessed a bunch of stuff doesn't mean other people's concerns are invalid. Seeking advice and support is what this board is for. Um, look at the title.
I'm a cancer survivor. I think I've suffered enough for you. At some point I may be concerned about a hamstring or something less threatening. That's what this board is about.
The point I am trying to make is this: when someone is feeling frustrated about losing those last three vanity pounds, or going over their daily caloric intake by only 300 cals, a little perspective can help them from feeling so disheartened.
This particular thread is about learning to appreciate what we have overcome, weight challenges aside, and letting go of some of the obsessive thoughts we have over our body size and shapes. There are always WORSE things that can happen.
As a cancer survivor, I am shocked to read you didn't "get" the message here. I'd think surviving cancer trumps pulled hamstrings any day. I know a few cancer survivors who are just happy to be alive.0 -
of course overeating 300 calories or working hard all week and not losing are not the worst things in the world....BUT it may be the current worst thing in the world for that person at this moment in life. there will always be someone who is going through something worse than us but we cant walk in those shoes. each person has their own life struggles and we cant know WHY they may have overeaten by 300 calories. maybe they just found out some terrible news or THEY are dealing with a stressful situation that they just don't share.
I am truly sorry that you have gone through some horrific circumstances in your life. having said that, i believe I too have had struggles that, by comparison may not be as horrific, but they were just as traumatic for me!
right now I still think I have the right to be unhappy if I worked out hard all week and made no noticeable progress. I shouldn't feel guilty about owning those feelings because someone else out there has is way worse. and neither should anyone else.
I never said you shouldn't be unhappy, what I'm saying is that, spend LESS time worrying about those 300 cals, and more time focusing on the positive things. Life is filled with ups and downs, on and off the scale. I think in the grand scheme of things, 300 cals over a limit for one day is nothing to obsess over when there are greater issues. Is it really WORTHY of such attention and power?
Don't sweat the small stuff.
I cannot believe the amount of "Debby Downers" on this thread.0 -
I think its abit rude to compare someone who is having abit of a whinge because they overate or didn't lose any weight to someone who has cancer? I don't quite get how you make that link.
No its not life threatning but still0 -
I concur, and further more, I pity the fool who thinks that overeating by 300cals is the end of the world.
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Yeah...OP....I really don't see this as motivating nor supporting. Saying, "I survived cancer, so my problems are worse than yours" is insensitive enough for me to put you on ignore. Good luck with your journey, but that kind of negativeness is one I don't need.0
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And YET, if I post a thread that says "I worked out hard for a week, watched my calories, but didn't lose a pound, what am I doing wrong?" or "I overate by 300 cals, what do I do?" I'd get a bunch of comments that say "QUIT WHINING, you're being ridiculous." and "Seriously, one day of overeating and you're *****ing about it? Aren't there bigger problems to have?"
So, ladies who are calling me rude, what should be the proper level of support and encouragement to people who post threads about such matters? I'm curious, because apparently I'm dam*ed if I do and dam*ed if I don't.
As for the person put me on ignore: Yeah, no great shakes.0 -
I understand what you are saying OP and I agree. Sometimes we zone in so much and focus so intently on the little things we forget to count our blessings as well and put it into perspective.0
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For some people, not seeing progress or feeling like they went overboard may be enough to lose their momentum/motivation. I know that for me, when I have a bad day, it can be a fine line between losing my motivation and good head space to giving up. It can be a real bummer. I think the OP has good intentions with her post, but it may be a bit simplistic. It goes to show having "perspective" is clearly easier said than done.0
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And YET, if I post a thread that says "I worked out hard for a week, watched my calories, but didn't lose a pound, what am I doing wrong?" or "I overate by 300 cals, what do I do?" I'd get a bunch of comments that say "QUIT WHINING, you're being ridiculous." and "Seriously, one day of overeating and you're *****ing about it? Aren't there bigger problems to have?"
So, ladies who are calling me rude, what should be the proper level of support and encouragement to people who post threads about such matters? I'm curious, because apparently I'm dam*ed if I do and dam*ed if I don't.
As for the person put me on ignore: Yeah, no great shakes.
Lol0 -
It may be that yes, this is the worst AT THIS MOMENT! Sometimes when all is falling apart around me, be it my elderly parents, my daughter having a heart attack at 35, my grandson in the hospital, or falling a getting a severe sprained ankle (as they say it is much better to break it then sprain it), the only thing I can control is my food intake. At those time it is critical to me and focusing on my diet does take my mind of other uncontrollable things in my life.
Having the support and understanding of other people who are trying to find a balance in their life is very helpful and encouraging. Criticizing someone for focusing on their health and reaching out for support is NOT helpful at all.0 -
Well, this is a happy thread. :huh:0
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It may be that yes, this is the worst AT THIS MOMENT! Sometimes when all is falling apart around me, be it my elderly parents, my daughter having a heart attack at 35, my grandson in the hospital, or falling a getting a severe sprained ankle (as they say it is much better to break it then sprain it), the only thing I can control is my food intake. At those time it is critical to me and focusing on my diet does take my mind of other uncontrollable things in my life.
Having the support and understanding of other people who are trying to find a balance in their life is very helpful and encouraging. Criticizing someone for focusing on their health and reaching out for support is NOT helpful at all.
Well said, I totally agree Bucky.0 -
I understand what you are saying OP and I agree. Sometimes we zone in so much and focus so intently on the little things we forget to count our blessings as well and put it into perspective.
Exactly! Thank you for understand. I've had my share of trauma in my life, and have been struggling with some serious issues with my family: I have a brother who nearly died of alcoholism and is currently in jail, another who is a recovering heroin addict, elderly parents who are very ill, a husband who has been unemployed since April 2011 (he finally got a real job and starts on Monday), a daughter with some serious issues, a son who has made some really bad choices but thankfully has begun to pull out of them, etc. For me, losing the last 10 lbs is really at the bottom of my list. I'm making it happen, but I am not going to sweat it if it doesn't happen this very moment. Priorities.0 -
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Try to tell that to someone with an eating disorder.0
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CTL has a great point in that we need to put things into perspective. Going off the deep end about eating more than your plan allows for a week is not the end of the world. It took a long time to put the weight on, it will take a long time to take it off.0
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*applauds*
I utterly agree with you. The lack of perspective showing in these forums is appalling. Accusations of 'sabotage', constant complaints about not losing weight fast enough, whining about everything under the sun about weight loss.
I posted a similar thing a few days ago and got nothing but supportive comments. I have no idea why you're getting reamed like I expected to be.
Going over your macros every once in a while is not the end of the world. Missing a day at the gym for whatever reason is not the end of the world. Panicking about these things are not helping people, nor is coddling the delusions that it is a big deal.
As for Ms. 'I'm a cancer survivor.' SHAME ON YOU. You should be right next to her preaching this sermon, not being defensive and nasty because she's telling the entire board to man up. You could be an inspiration, but instead you choose to join the whiners. Yes, you have suffered. But you have also triumphed. Which is what people really need to learn to focus on.
The victories, no matter how small they are.0 -
For some people, not seeing progress or feeling like they went overboard may be enough to lose their momentum/motivation. I know that for me, when I have a bad day, it can be a fine line between losing my motivation and good head space to giving up. It can be a real bummer. I think the OP has good intentions with her post, but it may be a bit simplistic. It goes to show having "perspective" is clearly easier said than done.
I agree. I too get very frustrated when I know I've been working my butt off for weeks and the scale hasn't moved. But, that's weeks of work, not one day of overeating by 300 cals. Plateaus are frustrating, slipping a day and worrying about it is silly.0 -
OP, just because you have suffered some tragedies in your life (which I am sorry to read about) you can not alter the way other people feel about their problems.
We can all read peoples problems and successes on this website and get annoyed or feel so happy for the person.
But, it is a website with lots of different subjects that people are allowed to post /comment on.
If you feel that somebody has posted something and in the title you see that it is going to go against your feelings then ignore the post?0 -
I understand what you are saying OP and I agree. Sometimes we zone in so much and focus so intently on the little things we forget to count our blessings as well and put it into perspective.
THIS.
The point of the post is to say, yes, 300 calories might be a big deal to you but if you back away from the micro-point of it sucking, you'll see that there other things to feel proud about and life is still as beautiful as you make it.
I've seen countless posts or statuses with women just wanting to give up because of all their hard work to accomplish weight loss. Or people eating a donut and then feeling terrible about themselves. I think there needs to be a concentrated effort to not see this is a huge failure.
And yes, I totally get that it's hard. But then I think, well I'm sure if they thought about it, they would see they've also accomplished A LOT. Like, furthering their progress or becoming a little more flexible or breaking an old habit. Yet all they can hone in on is the negative (and believe me, I've done this too).
I still support my friends if they are feeling bad about themselves, but over time, if every set back equals feeling devastated, you gotta wonder if they are taking this a little too seriously.
If you are so honed in on achieving weight loss and can't take a step back, life is going to breeze right by you. I think the point of this site is creating a life of balance. And worrying too much about any one thing you are doing is going to skew that balance.0 -
FFS if people want to be dramatic about the small things if life, so what? How is it harming you?
We've all suffered things in life, some more than others, doesn't mean we can't have a whinge or moan about trivia.
Get off your high horse Pollyanna0 -
To be honest with you the OP post is just crap.
"I overate by 300llb" .... "Oh well just be thankful you don't have cancer"
ummm what?
or then "put things in perspective" and promptly lists every major thing that is happening in their life.
It has nothing to do with one another, If it annoys you then don't comment on their post!0 -
Try to tell that to someone with an eating disorder.
And WHERE did I say that someone with a life threatening eating disorder has no place to complain or worry? I'd call that a "life threatening" concern and major priority.
WOW, people really need to learn how to analyze content better.0 -
I understand what you are saying OP and I agree. Sometimes we zone in so much and focus so intently on the little things we forget to count our blessings as well and put it into perspective.
Exactly! Thank you for understand. I've had my share of trauma in my life, and have been struggling with some serious issues with my family: I have a brother who nearly died of alcoholism and is currently in jail, another who is a recovering heroin addict, elderly parents who are very ill, a husband who has been unemployed since April 2011 (he finally got a real job and starts on Monday), a daughter with some serious issues, a son who has made some really bad choices but thankfully has begun to pull out of them, etc. For me, losing the last 10 lbs is really at the bottom of my list. I'm making it happen, but I am not going to sweat it if it doesn't happen this very moment. Priorities.
For me, my weight is serious. However if I dwell on the fact that I am so overweight and over think the situation I end up feeling like I am worthless, my life is useless, and I have no purpose. I think it's very motivating to have a reminder that I should count my blessings and it keeps me going.0
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