Is this the worst that can happen to me?

Contrarian

This is a very disappointing thread to see here under "Motivation and Support". I am new to this site and I am alone on my weightless journey. I have no IRL support system when it comes to losing weight and getting healthy. Joining MFP and being able to notate my successes and discuss my disappointment greatly increases my confidence in making this lifestyle change a success.

Then I read threads like this and feel embarrassed for any time I put on my profile news that I messed up or asked a silly question on the forums. Yet, why should I be? The point of this website is is to discuss weight and fitness issues, no matter how trivial they may seem to you.

It'd be a different scenario, quite callous actually, if someone expressed frustration about a 300 cal overage on a cancer support forum. However, this is a weight-loss forum and even more, this is a Motivation and Support sub-forum. It should be expected that there would be superficial posts which are well within the context of the purpose of this website.

You shouldn't feel embarrassed. You are absolutely right. Expressing your frustration or disappointment in your progress or lack thereof is what this site is for. As I said in my previous post, everyone's problems are big to them, and talking about that sort of thing to to be expected here.

rml_16

You know, just cause you've witnessed a bunch of stuff doesn't mean other people's concerns are invalid. Seeking advice and support is what this board is for. Um, look at the title.

I'm a cancer survivor. I think I've suffered enough for you. At some point I may be concerned about a hamstring or something less threatening. That's what this board is about.

This just needed a repost.

bambi2578

You know what, EVERYONE on here will of had some **** to face at some point in their lives. Some more so than others. I have had some awful things happen to me, but they happened to ME, they are not things I feel the need to share with the world wide web or use them to berate over people with if I feel they are being trivial about weight loss and calorie counting.

I personally find your post quite offensive. This is a diet and fitness forum. Not a 'who's had the crappiest deal in life forum'. If people want to moan about anything diet related,or have question to ask let them, that's kinda what the site is about. It doesn't matter if it seems trivial. Life goes on, we exist, we have to be happy, if weight loss helps make us happy after **** things happening to us thats only a good thing.

^^^^^^ This

wild_wild_life

It's not 'I ate too much, the world is ending', it's 'I can't do this, I'm not good enough . . . . " etc. etc. That's what people are really saying. It's not cancer, but it's not nothing.

clydethecat

i've heard this term "contemplating your navel" used to describe people so wrapped up in themselves. everything that goes on with them is blown out of proportion because they're not looking up to see the rest of the world, they're just focused on their navel.

i dont think the op is talking about everyone. if i'm correct, the op is talking about those out there that think what is going on with them, ie, i ate 300 cal over, i'm didnt lose any weight, etc., is the worst thing that happened to them that day. instead of looking around and seeing that, no its not. its just a bump in the road.

bumps happen. we dont have to whine about every bump. sometimes its better to have the bump, learn from it, and move on. not everything that happens to us needs to be voiced.

MsJulielicious

Schlackity

larlo74 you just made me laugh out loud and now my family is looking at me like I've lost my mind

BondBomb

i've heard this term "contemplating your navel" used to describe people so wrapped up in themselves. everything that goes on with them is blown out of proportion because they're not looking up to see the rest of the world, they're just focused on their navel.

i dont think the op is talking about everyone. if i'm correct, the op is talking about those out there that think what is going on with them, ie, i ate 300 cal over, i'm didnt lose any weight, etc., is the worst thing that happened to them that day. instead of looking around and seeing that, no its not. its just a bump in the road.

bumps happen. we dont have to whine about every bump. sometimes its better to have the bump, learn from it, and move on. not everything that happens to us needs to be voiced.

How do you know? How do you know that isn't the worst thing that has happened to them that day? How do you know they aren't struggling with an eating disorder? Who gets to draw the line? I could easily say no one ever has the right to complain on this site because in the grand scheme of things, weight loss isn't as important as the global economy, or the issues with North Korea. This web site IS the place to complain about those 300 calories and no weight loss. Either we support everyone or no one.

Schlackity

Thanks for this, it's always good to remember that life is actually pretty good and inhaling that pile of cake will not bring about the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse!

Unless it was their cake. I think Famine would be pretty ticked about losing his cake.

keem88

the end of the world for one person is different for another. something bad that happens to me that i freak out about may not bother someone else, and vise versa.
personally, whenever i am down i try to live by the "it could be worse" philosophy. i could be living in a third world country where i am killed for speaking ill of my government. things don't seem too bad after thinking that, and that really helps.
but for someone who maybe has never been exposed to something horrific, watching someone be killed or attending a child's funeral, to them going over 300 calories could be the end of the world.
you don't seem to be offering motivation and support in the motivation and support thread.
also, not to speak for the whole ed/disordered eating community, but for myself, going over calories or not losing very well can be the worst thing to happen.

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edited to fix typos

deannakittygirl

It may be that yes, this is the worst AT THIS MOMENT! Sometimes when all is falling apart around me, be it my elderly parents, my daughter having a heart attack at 35, my grandson in the hospital, or falling a getting a severe sprained ankle (as they say it is much better to break it then sprain it), the only thing I can control is my food intake. At those time it is critical to me and focusing on my diet does take my mind of other uncontrollable things in my life.

Having the support and understanding of other people who are trying to find a balance in their life is very helpful and encouraging. Criticizing someone for focusing on their health and reaching out for support is NOT helpful at all.

now something like this is exactly what I was really trying to say! thanks for putting it like this.

keem88

Try to tell that to someone with an eating disorder.

thank you.

_chiaroscuro

Hey OP, here's why you're an *kitten*. Even having this problem with the forums is one of those petty issues you just can't stand reading about because kids have died. Go flip sand.

FlippinNora

Making others feel bad for feeling the way they do isn't the way to go. I have never, ever heard of anyone being helped just by someone saying 'Oh yeah but, so and so is so much worse off than you'.

Helping people put things into perspective is good. Making people feel bad for feeling the way they do is bad.

mamadon

I'm pretty new to this site, but this string has taught me something important. I have to be my own motivation and support and it's probably better not to post my frustrations on this board when I hit a speed bump regardless of how big or small I determine it to be in my own mind. Thanks to everyone on both sides of the argument for pointing this out to me.

Me too. All this has done is make me realize I really should just whine to myself, if I am feeling down. Clearly, I may not get much help on this forum.

Ed98043

There are just certain people in the world (mostly young women, sorry) who act like every setback, no matter how trivial, is a Major Life Crisis. It's not even that they necessarily even truly feel that way, but raising the OMG!!! alarm gets them attention and sympathy and maybe they think it makes them more interesting. They're called drama queens. I choose not to have those people around me in real life, but there's not much that can be done about the internet. All you can do is roll your eyes and move on.

MrsSWW

To the OP, are you just trying to get a rise out of everyone? Of all the whinging posts I've seen to date this one wins - whinging about people whinging about the wrongs things... Really quite hypocritical, don't you think?

meshashesha2012

i think the moral of the story is everyone suffers and many people in this thread need to get the hell off their cross and stop trying to make suffering into an olympic sport, trying to determine who gets more suffering points than others.

i think the OP and several others in this thread need to learn the meaning of 2 words : empathy and compassion, just have someone turn the dictionary pages for you while you wallow in your "i have it worse" mentality.

Kst76

HTFU people!

Aww look at your cute pink phone

Graelwyn75

I have to admit, I agree with the Op.

Having experienced eating disorders on and off since a very young age, I can tend to get so caught up in the numbers, the minutae, that life passes me by more than it already has, and that is very sad when there is so, so much out there to be experienced and enjoyed, even in the simple things in life. Sometimes, when I am getting too stressed out by the details, I like to go and walk by the water or in a countryside area, and just absorb myself in the beauty of nature, and all that is natural. In the end, obsessing over a number, on a manmade object, is not particularly natural, the same as becoming unhealthily overweight or underweight is not natural. There has to be a balance somewhere.

Everyone has their own crosses to bear, this is true, but the key is maybe to evolve and learn from those crosses rather than to spin on them for the rest of our lives, getting nowhere. Do the best that you can do, with what you have, and grab what joy you can with both hands as you step into each day.

BondBomb

i think the moral of the story is everyone suffers and many people in this thread need to get the hell off their cross and stop trying to make suffering into an olympic sport, trying to determine who gets more suffering points than others.

i think the OP and several others in this thread need to learn the meaning of 2 words : empathy and compassion, just have someone turn the dictionary pages for you while you wallow in your "i have it worse" mentality.

Whatever Switzerland!

metacognition

Even putting calories into context helps. How is 300 calories either way going to make a big difference to someone with thousands upon thousands of calories of stored excess fat? Weight loss must be seen in the long haul.

AlicesNirvanaHealthWellness

I think the morale of the story is "if u don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything ",,

I'm with whatever Switzerland

Kst76

Hey OP, here's why you're an *kitten*. Even having this problem with the forums is one of those petty issues you just can't stand reading about because kids have died. Go flip sand.

Wow

Kst76

I think the morale of the story is "if u don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything ",,

I'm with whatever Switzerland

Correct, and that goes for about 90 % of the posts on this thread.

Kst76

Let me put it this way for the OP.

Lot`s of people have crazy *kitten* going on in their lives with family and friends.

MFP gives those people a place where they are concentrating on themselves for a time.

they can moan, feel good, complain, share success.

there is a place and time to think about their weight loss/lack of/athletic ability/lack of

We all need to put other personal stuff on the back burner sometimes and share/vent our diet/weight/fitness on a website that helps us to meet like minded people

I agree with this.

I get what you're saying OP, I do. I've had cancer so I know very clearly that there are many MANY worse things in the world than having a crappy eating day or missing the gym or seeing a number you don't want to or expect to on the scale.

But people whine. Even me. Sometimes I have a crappy day and sometimes, we just need to whine. I don't think most people post those types of things on the boards and say that it's the worst thing that could ever, ever happen to them. They're just b**ching.

Yes and I love reading those posts because it make me feel better about myself, realizing that these so called problems of mine is nothing in comparison.

Lacey_Cakes

i like the way you think

annalovesfood

If 300 calories were not important for some people there would be no calorie tracking function on this site (that some people diligently use day in and day out) and there would probably not be a need for the Motivation and Support Forum.

Why on earth would it come down to Cancer and weight loss? There are so many terrible things in the world and if we compared our own lives to the misfortunes of others at any decision making point in the day we would probably lose our minds.

jofjltncb6

I think the morale of the story is "if u don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything ",,

I'm with whatever Switzerland

No, that was Thumper's father's rule for him as a young rabbit.

It may or may not always apply to adults have a discussion on the internet...

...and every disagreement is not necessarily not "nice".

CrazyTrackLady

Hey OP, here's why you're an *kitten*. Even having this problem with the forums is one of those petty issues you just can't stand reading about because kids have died. Go flip sand.

And this is why you've been reported.