Sick of hearing it
Options
Replies
-
While I would have toned it down a little, I understand what you are saying. It's really frustrating when people constantly complain about their health and weight, but don't do anything about it or make comments about what they are not willing to do. It is especially frustrating when they make comments about it and then try to downplay successful people. In the office I work in there are several women who have been making better choices and are showing great progress, but there is one woman who keeps asking what their secret is and then shaking her head like "no, I couldn't possibly walk a little more each day." Then this woman will bring in a bunch of cupcakes and stuff knowing that no one really wants them. We finally sat down and told her that if she wants to eat cupcakes that's fine, but most of the rest of us are not going to eat them, so it's kind of wasteful.0
-
I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!
Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?
Wait a second... Were you not the one giving the OP such a hard time for being rude to a female? Now you are being rude to a female? Kettle, meet pot...0 -
In the office I work in there are several women who have been making better choices and are showing great progress, but there is one woman who keeps asking what their secret is and then shaking her head like "no, I couldn't possibly walk a little more each day." Then this woman will bring in a bunch of cupcakes and stuff knowing that no one really wants them. We finally sat down and told her that if she wants to eat cupcakes that's fine, but most of the rest of us are not going to eat them, so it's kind of wasteful.
She keeps asking? Or she asked once, or each person maybe once? If she 'keeps asking', then when I would hope that you would recommend to her to get a cat scan or something since she seems to have memory problems.0 -
I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!
Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?
Wait a second... Were you not the one giving the OP such a hard time for being rude to a female? Now you are being rude to a female? Kettle, meet pot...
I think you have me mixed up with someone else. I haven't said anything about male/female in this thread. The person I responded to happened to be woman, but her status as a "female" was immaterial. My comments apply to anyone (including the OP) who feels justified in letting loose on another person for (what I think are) fairly innocuous comments. And anyway, I apologized up thread for the tone of the post you've quoted.
ETA: I also happen to be a woman myself.
0 -
Freaking awesome !0
-
Okay, yes men work to lose weight just like woman, but lets really talk about the facts. Every body is different. My husband and I started this journey together January 6th 2013. I started at 305.8 and my husband started at 220. I overhauled my diet completely. I cut out all soda, junk food, processed food and so on. I started walking for an hour a day minimum,taking Zumba, and doing as much of Insanity as I could with my husband. He did Insanity, and cut back on soda. He still eats Big Macs, donuts, and so on. I do not. He lost 40 pounds and I lost 47... all in the same time frame. I work out at least 6 days a week, for at least an hour if not longer. He did Insanity 6 days a week. ( roughly an hour) I lose a week every month when that special time comes to be a woman. My husband has no weeks where his body refuses to lose weight and he gains water weight like a beast.
So yes,some woman have it rougher than men. Some men have it rougher than women. In my case, my husband has it easier than I do. He eats 1000 calories more than I do a day, works out less, and looses weight every week. I work out more, eat significantly less, (but within what my doctor wants) and do not lose every week.
It is incredibly frustrating to watch him drop weight every week, and me not. It is frustrating to see him sitting on the couch eating a donut and still lose weight. That is his body and not mine though. I know I will work harder to reach my goal than my husband has had to. I just count myself lucky that my husband supports my efforts. He walks with me, takes the kids swimming so I can take Zumba, and now eats junk food out of the house or where I cannot see him.0 -
whoah.... angry dude should have had some chocolate :devil:
Right, there is no harm in having a small piece of cake on a Holiday, might help release some of that tension.
And I am definitely sensing some tension here :huh:
How declassé...if someone snapped like that at my family gathering, I would have been mortified. Way to make it awkward for everyone...0 -
There are always going to be people, especially those who are overweight themselves, who are going to downplay your hard work. At the end of the day, who cares? In fact, the more that happens, the more successful you should feel. Obviously they have issues themselves, and that's where it's coming from. Hopefully, you are doing this for you, for your own health and self-image. So, if someone doesn't give you any credit, just tell yourself, I don't care about them anyways and then smile because you know how hard you have worked to get there.0
-
You said what everyone else wishes they COULD say in that same situation. Good for you!!! Although it may have hurt her feelings and made that time awkward, I applaud you.
Losing weight is very hard regardless if you are a man or a woman. She is feeling pretty insecure about herself to make that kind of comment. You should have suggested MFP to her. lol0 -
In the office I work in there are several women who have been making better choices and are showing great progress, but there is one woman who keeps asking what their secret is and then shaking her head like "no, I couldn't possibly walk a little more each day." Then this woman will bring in a bunch of cupcakes and stuff knowing that no one really wants them. We finally sat down and told her that if she wants to eat cupcakes that's fine, but most of the rest of us are not going to eat them, so it's kind of wasteful.
She keeps asking? Or she asked once, or each person maybe once? If she 'keeps asking', then when I would hope that you would recommend to her to get a cat scan or something since she seems to have memory problems.
She has asked nearly every person who is making the changes and showing results what they are doing. One girl has lost over 60 lbs and she has asked about her diet, does she eat the same thing everyday, does she exercise, what kind of exercise, does her husband exercise with her and on and on. Then she makes a comment about why that wouldn't work for her. It's strange and annoying.0 -
You certainly have started quite a conversation with this topic. It obviously is something that we all have to deal with, on one end or the other. I must admit I did laugh in disbelief when I read your post. Like something you'd see in the movies, but not a family reunion. She definitely hit your hot spot. I'm curious, did you talk to her after that?0
-
To those who think this is over the top
I think the Kilt in the Avatar may well signal Scottish roots.
Most Scotts are really rude to each other as a way of communication.
This is a generalization, but sensitivities to comments like these do change depending on the society and country and even class that you have grown up with.
Without knowledge of that you can't really judge, the internet is a great big mix of all these different ideals and backgrounds.
Personally anyone who pokes a fork in my face will get both barrels....0 -
Love it! She had it coming and I bet there is more than one person who silently applauded you!
I often wonder if people even think for a second about what is coming out of their mouths.
Some of my favorites during my journey:
"Wow, congratulations! I didn't know you were expecting!" (I was NOT pregnant, just really fat")
"Hey you've lost weight - I bet you're almost out of the 200s huh" -- when has it ever been ok to discuss a woman's weight? And no I wasn't out of the 200s but I certainly wasn't going to correct them.
"That shirt is so cute, it is nice you can find fun clothes made for bigger girls". I should have said It's nice they make cute clothes for "B---chs"...
And now it's the comments about the weight loss:
"You look great, you know worked for my brother/mother/sister"...like I need help. You just said I look good, so I think what I'm doing is working fine.
"Don't lose anymore weight - if you're too thin the women at work will hate you" - if they hate me because I'm thin, I don't want their friendship.
"That's your lunch? (Turky wrap with hummus and sprouts) If that is healthy I would rather starve" - Hey, my lunch is none of your business. STFU. Or Starve. Either is fine.
"You're not eating enough - you're losing muscle -- you're excercising too much -- do more weights" All from what I call "arm chair losers" - they know all about weight loss, except they're 40 lbs or more overweight.
And my personal favorite. "I hope you'll still be nice to me when you're as skinny as the mean girls" - yes a professional work ennvironment, and the thin girls are mean. I will remember that one always, and be kind to all, no matter they're shape/size/
I try to just smile, eat another carrot, nod a lot, and don't get into deep conversations with people who are not on this same journey. But one of the these days I'm going to snap just like you did...0 -
Glad you said it, we all think it from time to time. Also think of the emotional baggage you just freed yourself of! And isn't emotional baggage one the many causes of obesity?0
-
Awesome that you are working so hard on your outer appearance. Perhaps you should now do some self improvement on your inside. Those were ugly, hateful words that were meant to hurt somebody.0
-
"You're not eating enough - you're losing muscle -- you're excercising too much -- do more weights" All from what I call "arm chair losers" - they know all about weight loss, except they're 40 lbs or more overweight.
And my personal favorite. "I hope you'll still be nice to me when you're as skinny as the mean girls" - yes a professional work ennvironment, and the thin girls are mean. I will remember that one always, and be kind to all, no matter they're shape/size/
I used to be an "arm chair loser!" I've always exercised but never controlled my eating so when i'd give people work out advice they'd always look at me funny. I finally found MFP and am losing at the flub now people take me seriously when I talk about it.
Oh and thin girls are mean. They're hungry! :laugh:
OP had every right to say what he said in my humble opinion. Someone pointing him out in a crowd (with a dirty fork no less) and then dismissing his efforts by saying it was easy because his male was extremely rude and insensitive. Especially given the fact that OP has tried on several occasions to help her lose weight.0 -
People always think things are easier for the other person. I am proud of you! I completely understand. I have a pretty decent job and get paid well. Certain people (like family) feel they need to point out how "lucky" I am. Luck had and has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with it. Could it be that the 10 years I spent in college and that I am a responsible consistent worker have something to do with it? I want to say to them "get off your lazy *kitten* and go back to school or work harder!!!" but I haven't yet. . . now maybe I will. Thanks for the inspiration!0
-
I think the Kilt in the Avatar may well signal Scottish roots.
Most Scotts are really rude to each other as a way of communication.
This is a generalization, but sensitivities to comments like these do change depending on the society and country and even class that you have grown up with.
If that were the case, then I find it odd that her comment about men losing weight more easily than women would have resulted in him having a full blown hissy fit. He would have had a tougher skin than that, I would think... JMO.0 -
Really? That simple of a comment gets you riled up? WOW! Forwarn future mates or too bad for your current one.Hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Today was a good day for me. Family gathered around that I haven't seen in a while complimenting me on the fact that I look thinner and trimmer which is always nice to hear.
So everyone's sitting around eating desserts. You know, cake, pie, peach cobbler, ice cream, and I'm behaving and having a banana. And then it happens, the one thing that really just pisses me off, an overweight family member points a fork at me with chocolate dripping off the end and says "it's so easy for men to lose weight".
I almost let it go, I was sooooo close! Rather than telling her it was not easy for me and that I work out everyday from 30 minutes to an hour plus and that I watch and log everything that I eat. But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."
After that things were a bit awkward but I am so sick of hearing it.. It's hard for anyone to lose weight. Don't belittle my success by writing it off because I'm a guy.
Stepping off my soapbox now.0 -
Read OP, nothing else. Kudos to you. There is no reason to let anyone belittle a huge achievement, family or not. Yes it was harsh(and I would have absolutely toned it down a LOT), but you can bet it will never happen again.
Now I will read the 50% OUTRAGE 50% YOU GO posts contained herein. Popcorn thread this is!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 400 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 988 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions