Baby to Bikini... Tears and All
FitandFab33
Posts: 718 Member
Today was a major milestone for me.
I haven't been to a pool (or beach/etc) in a few years. I have NEVER been comfortable in a bikini- regardless of how I looked. I have always had the feeling that I must sit this way or sit that way, stand that way or face that direction because there was something to hide.
And then I got pregnant. And then I got FAT. I ate indiscriminately, I did not exercise.. and by the time I gave birth I had gained something like 80 lbs and delivered at 238 lbs. The baby was 7 of those pounds. I knew I had screwed up. That was the end of May 2012.
I split with my fiancé (my child's father) and life was... well.. bad. I was a single mom, with little support and no family nearby. I had been in a bad relationship for the last 4 years, was fat, and had zero confidence. I was lonely, scared, insecure, and I ate my feelings. In September of 2012, I was still 212 lbs. Breastfeeding hadn't exactly "melted off all the weight" like I expected. I began watching my intake and dropped a few lbs. I started logging on September 15th and I started lifting weights on September 30th, 2012. That was when it started.
I felt powerful. I felt good in my skin, even if my skin didn't look so good. And my body changed. I wanted it to continue- so I made myself a deal: I would go from baby to bikini in a year.
Since then, my body has done things that I never knew was possible. Sometimes I ate really well, sometimes I didn't. For the most part I ate at a deficit, but I took several month long breaks and a few weeks here and there.
Today, I am 11 1/2 months post-baby. Today, I put on a bikini... I walked across my apartment complex, and I went to the pool. I had tears welling up in my eyes on that long walk- from nerves and fear. But I walked in and for the first time in my life, I felt good in that bikini. With my stretch marks, with my bits of flub and extra skin- I was confident and proud of my marred body. That's what this has done for me- it's not the weight, or the fat, or even the bikini.... it's the FEELING.
Now for all the pictures....
Where I was when I started lifting weights:
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And today, in a bikini. :-)
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I haven't been to a pool (or beach/etc) in a few years. I have NEVER been comfortable in a bikini- regardless of how I looked. I have always had the feeling that I must sit this way or sit that way, stand that way or face that direction because there was something to hide.
And then I got pregnant. And then I got FAT. I ate indiscriminately, I did not exercise.. and by the time I gave birth I had gained something like 80 lbs and delivered at 238 lbs. The baby was 7 of those pounds. I knew I had screwed up. That was the end of May 2012.
I split with my fiancé (my child's father) and life was... well.. bad. I was a single mom, with little support and no family nearby. I had been in a bad relationship for the last 4 years, was fat, and had zero confidence. I was lonely, scared, insecure, and I ate my feelings. In September of 2012, I was still 212 lbs. Breastfeeding hadn't exactly "melted off all the weight" like I expected. I began watching my intake and dropped a few lbs. I started logging on September 15th and I started lifting weights on September 30th, 2012. That was when it started.
I felt powerful. I felt good in my skin, even if my skin didn't look so good. And my body changed. I wanted it to continue- so I made myself a deal: I would go from baby to bikini in a year.
Since then, my body has done things that I never knew was possible. Sometimes I ate really well, sometimes I didn't. For the most part I ate at a deficit, but I took several month long breaks and a few weeks here and there.
Today, I am 11 1/2 months post-baby. Today, I put on a bikini... I walked across my apartment complex, and I went to the pool. I had tears welling up in my eyes on that long walk- from nerves and fear. But I walked in and for the first time in my life, I felt good in that bikini. With my stretch marks, with my bits of flub and extra skin- I was confident and proud of my marred body. That's what this has done for me- it's not the weight, or the fat, or even the bikini.... it's the FEELING.
Now for all the pictures....
Where I was when I started lifting weights:
[/URL][/URL]And today, in a bikini. :-)
[/URL][/URL] 0
Replies
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OMG - you look amazing. Just wow.0
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Your brilliant.
One of the smartest, sweetest, most driven friend, I have on MFP.
You look fantastic.
Im proud of you.
:flowerforyou: 
:drinker: 0 -
You look amazing, way to go!!! You're inspiring me to keep on going :-)0
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Dang, girl!!
I am so proud of you! What an inspiration! I have a 15-month-old and would love to be in the shape you're in! You just motivated me to keep working out!!0 -
Heartfelt congratulations, F&F!!! Even at your heaviest, you had a WAIST - which I've never had! Believe it or not, I'm even jealous of your 212-lb. self. And now? You look amazing. I can't believe you had the least bit of nerves walking to the pool - girl, you should have been STRUTTING.0
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You look great!0
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Oh my god!!! You look incredible. Great work. Really, seriously, truly inspirational.
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Amazing! you should be proud of yourself!0
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Way to go! Amazing!0
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You look gorgeous!!0
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That is amazing and girl you should have sprinted to that pool with your new bikini body...thank you so much for sharing and motivating me!!!!!!0
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You look absolutely fantastic!!!0
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Great story. Sometimes no matter how good we look on the outside,we still don't feel well on the inside. Congrats on your victory 0
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You look amazing great job!0
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Beautiful! Well done0
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hot damn, woman! you are too amazing 0
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Thank you for sharing this!! Congratulations on your work, you look fantastic!! This is such an inspiring story for me. I'm a little over 8 weeks in and I look forward to this feeling. Tears welling up in my eyes....Priceless...
Again congrats! You look beautiful!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Congratulations on a job well done!!0
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You turned into the hulk! Don't lift heavy!
...
You look fantastic well done. 0 -
You turned into the hulk! Don't lift heavy!
...
You look fantastic well done.
haha... sooooo manly! :-)0 -
Mmm...bulky.0
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WOW! Just WOW! Your before pics look like me now, and I just started lifting. If I look a quarter as good as you in a year I will be very, very happy :happy: Well done. You are amazing :smokin:0
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Thank you for sharing this!! Congratulations on your work, you look fantastic!! This is such an inspiring story for me. I'm a little over 8 weeks in and I look forward to this feeling. Tears welling up in my eyes....Priceless...
Again congrats! You look beautiful!! :flowerforyou:
Give yourself some time (that was the hardest part for ) but stick with it.. :-) You've got this!0 -
Mmm...bulky.
Man-beast I know! haha0 -
Your brilliant.
One of the smartest, sweetest, most driven friend, I have on MFP.
You look fantastic.
Im proud of you. :flowerforyou: :drinker:
I you, CP!! You are amazing every day and I'm lucky to call you friend (even if it is on MFP)! 0 -
WOW! You look amazing. girlie! SO proud of you for pushing through your struggles. You look wonderful and I know you must feel fantastic! WTG!:flowerforyou:0
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You look amazing you need to strut to the pool,thats a huge accomplishment especially after having a baby mine are going on 14 months and 3 in aug,I hope I to can look good in a bikini one day stretch marks and all.0
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Wow amazing difference!!0
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WOW! Just WOW! Your before pics look like me now, and I just started lifting. If I look a quarter as good as you in a year I will be very, very happy :happy: Well done. You are amazing :smokin:
Stick with it- I cannot say enough about strength/resistance training. Lifting has done things that I NEVER thought would happen. I'm not even close to "finished" and I fully expect abs and saluting glutes by the end of summer! haha :-)
If you need any help- I'm around fairly often!0 -
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