Putting your KID on a leash

Lol@ the posts responding to mine. I didn't target any person, nor did I claim everyone's child is a brat. It would seem to me, there are some guilty consciouses to be taking my post as if it were targeting you or as if I'm personally judging you. While you can take it upon yourself to judge me and assume what ever you like, my daughter remains safe, adventurous and happy, with out the leash and really, having them on a leash doesn't mean you're not suppose to watch your kid, that drives me insane, yes they cant get too far from you, but that doesn't mean you should ignore them as if they're 100% safe just because they're leashed.
I have four sisters and we were not leashed and my mom has 10 grand kids(three of whom are 4, total range 13years to 3months), I have babysat, watched, taken to stores, parks, movies, special events, walks, public pools anywhere between 1-3 extra kids at a time and not lost any of them. It has required me chasing after one or another of them occasionally, but that's what guardians or parents are for, I don't need a leash to control them!

We handle this issue with a tool called "The blind hand of justice". When walking, driving or going anywhere if the heathens start not listening or acting correctly I blindly flail my hands towards the general direction of the children in question and the sound. I don't always get the right one, but I do get the slowest one and the one not paying attention. As time went on, they all learned to be on their toes and paying attention to their surroundings and to me.

Now, all I have to do is to say "Do not make me unsheathe the blind hand of justice" and they sort themselves out. Only problem is, the oldest has learned the little ones don't move as fast, so he jumps behind them to use them as a sibling shield. I think with him, it's time to move from "The blind hand of justice" may need to turn into "Dad's aimed paintball of justice"...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: best post yet

lol

And what, you think she popped out as a four year old? What they're taught as babies and toddlers is the foundation for their behavior. she's been old enough to be reasoned with and taught for years... nature doesn't just say *poof* she's four, time to be reasonable!

EDIT:Corrected quotes boxes because it annoyed me..

I have a feeling you don't spend any time traveling or doing activities which require extra precautions while dealing with a 2 or three year old child. I suspect you've spent the majority of her toddlerhood at home, out of crowds, really not doing anything interesting enough for her to care about running off. It's things like amusement parks, zoos, hiking and traveling that usually require something like a leash. Not grocery stores, the mall or your local park. And of course you can try to talk to and discipline a two year old until you are blue in the face; they are too young to reason with, not 'bratty.'

You assume a lot! And you'd be wrong, not that you care, and no, two year olds are not too young to reason with, but you keep telling yourself what ever helps you sleep better at night! I don't need a leash to keep my daughter safe, that's why my eyes watch her and my hand holds hers*when needed*. She's my child, not a pet that I don't really want to deal with but want to keep in range. And I agree Amusement parks, water parks, pools(she's such a water baby, she loves to swim n "dive" taught her to swim last summer@3yrs), hiking, walking around town and traveling do require more attention, but where else would her father n I have our attention on a family outing?

The excuses people make when they allow their children to grow into brats;
alll children arent the same (true but they are little sponges who crave structure)
all childrent dont respond to comands (they wont if you just decide to try it out of the blue, or when in public and not at home)
that's what children do they are curious (all children not just yours, yet others are kept safe without a leash and behave)
1-2yr olds dont listen (ahh yes they do!)
my kid dont want anyone to hold his hand (who's the parent again?)

how will they learn if you give up and just say "ok you don't want to behave and let me hold your hand, ok ima leash you, it's easier" lol

And what, you think she popped out as a four year old? What they're taught as babies and toddlers is the foundation for their behavior. she's been old enough to be reasoned with and taught for years... nature doesn't just say *poof* she's four, time to be reasonable!

EDIT:Corrected quotes boxes because it annoyed me..

I have a feeling you don't spend any time traveling or doing activities which require extra precautions while dealing with a 2 or three year old child. I suspect you've spent the majority of her toddlerhood at home, out of crowds, really not doing anything interesting enough for her to care about running off. It's things like amusement parks, zoos, hiking and traveling that usually require something like a leash. Not grocery stores, the mall or your local park. And of course you can try to talk to and discipline a two year old until you are blue in the face; they are too young to reason with, not 'bratty.'

You assume a lot! And you'd be wrong, not that you care, and no, two year olds are not too young to reason with, but you keep telling yourself what ever helps you sleep better at night! I don't need a leash to keep my daughter safe, that's why my eyes watch her and my hand holds hers*when needed*. She's my child, not a pet that I don't really want to deal with but want to keep in range. And I agree Amusement parks, water parks, pools(she's such a water baby, she loves to swim n "dive" taught her to swim last summer@3yrs), hiking, walking around town and traveling do require more attention, but where else would her father n I have our attention on a family outing?

The excuses people make when they allow their children to grow into brats;
alll children arent the same (true but they are little sponges who crave structure)
all childrent dont respond to comands (they wont if you just decide to try it out of the blue, or when in public and not at home)
that's what children do they are curious (all children not just yours, yet others are kept safe without a leash and behave)
1-2yr olds dont listen (ahh yes they do!)
my kid dont want anyone to hold his hand (who's the parent again?)

how will they learn if you give up and just say "ok you don't want to behave and let me hold your hand, ok ima leash you, it's easier" lol

Exactly

Do you people realize how stupid you sound?

"You sound like you have a guilty conscience"? What kind of insipid point is that? If someone disagrees with you they have a "guilty conscience"? Then I guess you must also have a guilty conscience about letting your kid run wild, into danger, and out of sight.

"You can tell a 1-2yr old what to do." Yes, you sure can. And sometimes they will even listen. And sometimes they won't.

"MY child would never..." Where's that *laughing hysterically* smilie?

"All you have to do is..." *insert laughing hysterically smilie here too*

"If you watched your child you wouldn't have to..." Seriously? Easy to say when you have 1 child. Bill Cosby has a great stand up comedy bit about parents of 1 child. Watch it.

I have babysat, watched, taken to stores, parks, movies, special events, walks, public pools anywhere between 1-3 extra kids at a time and not lost any of them. It has required me chasing after one or another of them occasionally, but that's what guardians or parents are for, I don't need a leash to control them!

I hope you aren't as stupid as you sound here. You OBVIOUSLY need SOMETHING to help control the other kids. You try to make your point about how perfect a parent you are then say that you have taken 2-4 kids to a public pool, event, etc and had to chase after 1 of them occasionally. Hey, where were the other 1-3 kids while you were chasing that one who ran off? If you really think telling someone you are better than them because you left 1-3 kids alone in public, possibly even in a pool, while you ran after another you have a pretty warped view of what makes someone a good parent. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry at the idea that you are a good parent because you have not lost any of them yet.

I fail to see how a child who is leashed = brat. Explain please. I've been to numerous places all over the US and Europe. The kids who were on leashes were invariably close to their parents who were watching them. It's the kids who were allowed to treat everywhere like their own personal playground who were the brats. They are the ones running in the aisles in grocery stores, tripping people up in amusement parks, making people slam on their brakes, getting in the way of waiters/waitresses, taking toys out of my kid's stroller when they were little, and creating dangerous situations in pools.

I think it's so funny that some who don't believe in using a harness (leash) on children believe that their children or relatives or kids they babysit or whatever are/were/will be so well behaved and never got or get into any trouble etc, etc. I just laugh and think "yeah right". :laugh: Someone is either in denial or lying. I don't know any child who is that perfect. I've known plenty of those kids that were so "well behaved". Just wait until they get a little older or start school or become teenagers or are away from the influence of their parents. You'd be surprised what the "good" kids do or say or get into. :laugh: I'm not saying every parent should use a harness, but I do think it is a good tool to use if the parent chooses to.

That nothing has happened to one of your perfect little angels whilst out doesn't mean to say that it couldn't have. It is just dumb luck that nothing bad has happened, no matter how perfect you think you are, children, no matter how well behaved you think they might be, can & do dart of in a second. If some of us chose to improve the odds of preventing that bad thing happening by using safety aids then I say it makes us pretty damn great parents.

The assumption by many of you hypocrites that using a harness is a way of ignoring the child, where do you get this idea from, how can you ignore a child that is attached to you by a harness, if anything it makes you even more aware of them than if they were walking without restraint. One wonders just how, if o many of you hypocrites criticizing others know what it is like to use a harness, as so many of you claim that you never had not ever would. This thread has such a huge amount of trollope spouted it's actually really sad.

My grandmother was a single mother of 3!
She never leashed my mom, my uncle or my aunt. I'm sure it wasn't easy but for some strange reason they behaved and didn't run into danger. lol

were you there? how do you know they didn't run off. I highly doubt that at one time or another at least one of those kids wandered off & your granny had the panic moment where she couldn't find them. quite frankly everything you post is just bs.

My grandmother had 12 kids & she must have been so much better than your grandmother by your reasoning cause not only did she have 4 times the amount of children but she didn't lose any of them, in so much as they all reached adult hood without staying lost.? Really, are you trying to sound as naive as you do?

So if your grandmother raised 12 kids with no leash, why should someone with only a few kids use one?

Umm, I don't see any mention in my post about harnesses? careful now.

(Quotes from two previous posts where you mention harnesses)

The assumption by many of you hypocrites that using a harness is a way of ignoring the child, where do you get this idea from, how can you ignore a child that is attached to you by a harness, if anything it makes you even more aware of them than if they were walking without restraint.

to those critising people who use a harness but yet themselves use a stroller or car seat or any kind of home child safety aid, you are basically hypocrites. If you are such great parents (!) then why do you need those things too.

Let me clarify: I don't give a rats *kitten* if you use a leash to drag your kid behind you while holding a candy bar in front of them saying "come her boy! come here! good boy!"

I do think that you saying that your grandmother had 12 kids supported the very logic you were arguing against. That is what I was pointing out.

I also think it is illogical to pretend that we are not having a conversation about kids on leashes, just because you did not mention the word harness in 1 out of your 3 posts.

actually my post about my grandmother was in response to the poster claiming her grandmother never lost a child, how the hell would she know. quite frankly no one gives a **** what her grandmother or my grandmother did. We are talking about what people do now.

70+ years ago when my grandmother started having kids people did a whole lot of things that we don't consider doing now, things change, parenting advice changes, as long as the child is not being harmed then I am pressed to see how this is even an issue?

And what, you think she popped out as a four year old? What they're taught as babies and toddlers is the foundation for their behavior. she's been old enough to be reasoned with and taught for years... nature doesn't just say *poof* she's four, time to be reasonable!

EDIT:Corrected quotes boxes because it annoyed me..

I have a feeling you don't spend any time traveling or doing activities which require extra precautions while dealing with a 2 or three year old child. I suspect you've spent the majority of her toddlerhood at home, out of crowds, really not doing anything interesting enough for her to care about running off. It's things like amusement parks, zoos, hiking and traveling that usually require something like a leash. Not grocery stores, the mall or your local park. And of course you can try to talk to and discipline a two year old until you are blue in the face; they are too young to reason with, not 'bratty.'

You assume a lot! And you'd be wrong, not that you care, and no, two year olds are not too young to reason with, but you keep telling yourself what ever helps you sleep better at night! I don't need a leash to keep my daughter safe, that's why my eyes watch her and my hand holds hers*when needed*. She's my child, not a pet that I don't really want to deal with but want to keep in range. And I agree Amusement parks, water parks, pools(she's such a water baby, she loves to swim n "dive" taught her to swim last summer@3yrs), hiking, walking around town and traveling do require more attention, but where else would her father n I have our attention on a family outing?

The excuses people make when they allow their children to grow into brats;
alll children arent the same (true but they are little sponges who crave structure)
all childrent dont respond to comands (they wont if you just decide to try it out of the blue, or when in public and not at home)
that's what children do they are curious (all children not just yours, yet others are kept safe without a leash and behave)
1-2yr olds dont listen (ahh yes they do!)
my kid dont want anyone to hold his hand (who's the parent again?)

how will they learn if you give up and just say "ok you don't want to behave and let me hold your hand, ok ima leash you, it's easier" lol

First, I am not sure why I am responding to you since you seem have failed to tell us exactly how you go about disciplining a young child correctly and have some warped sense of car seat use, but I am nursing my daughter, so why not?

I am not interested in ruling my children with an iron fist. Like adults, they have their preferences, and as a parent it's my job to treat them with respect. This doesn't mean allowing them to run around the store and pull things off the shelf. This doesn't mean they run the show.

Good parenting isn't permissive parenting.

Good parenting is not authoritative parenting.

Good parenting is respecting your child by offering reasonable choices. "Do you want to ride in the stroller, hold my hand, or wear the backpack (leash)?" This allows the child to have freedom of choice, without the conflict. They feel like they have control of the situation and are less likely to act out. You are teaching them that their opinion matters, but there are limits to what they can and can't do.

Of course what the hell do I know I only have 3 well behaved, curious, and wonderful children?

:flowerforyou:

Let me clarify: I don't give a rats *kitten* if you use a leash to drag your kid behind you while holding a candy bar in front of them saying "come her boy! come here! good boy!"

I do think that you saying that your grandmother had 12 kids supported the very logic you were arguing against. That is what I was pointing out.

I also think it is illogical to pretend that we are not having a conversation about kids on leashes, just because you did not mention the word harness in 1 out of your 3 posts.

My mind cannot grasp the lack of "logic" in everything you said. Careful how you go about throwing the word "illogical" at others.

Also, how often do you see someone "dragging a kid behind them on a leash" waving a candy bar at them, talking to them like a dog? Have you ever seriously witnessed that in your entire life? Hopefully you reported that as child abuse, because that's obviously not how someone uses them properly. I'm willing to bet you didn't see anything even remotely like that, though. Do you piss in the Cheerios of parents who "drag their kid behind them" while holding their hand, too?

actually my post about my grandmother was in response to the poster claiming her grandmother never lost a child, how the hell would she know. quite frankly no one gives a **** what her grandmother or my grandmother did. We are talking about what people do now.

70+ years ago when my grandmother started having kids people did a whole lot of things that we don't consider doing now, things change, parenting advice changes, as long as the child is not being harmed then I am pressed to see how this is even an issue?

You sound so angry using all those stars, are you feeling guilty for strapping up your child in public and dragging him/her around like a pet? If not you wouldn't sound so hurt in your posts.
How would I know my grandmother never lost a child? Hmmm idk maybe it's my family and I live close to my mother and we all talk and I've heard stories none of which includes my mother or her siblings "escaping" and heading for the hills. Smh

My grandmother is in her 60s and had kids in her 20s so that some 40 years ago.(nice job on the math lol). How funny is it that parents that lead or drag their kids by a cord I mean leash can compare it to ok well dont use a crib or carseat, which makes no sense. They also say you have only raised one child you can say anything, I then replied my grandmother raised 3 without a string attached and they didn't run into danger(fact not BS).... Instead of going with an intelligent argument it got turned into " my grandmother raised 13 so I guess she is better" you all keep using the word " you think you're better because you don't agree" Is it guilt? Because I never said I was better or my grandmother was.

You can use any argument to defend dragging your child around on a connecting cord like a poppet
But I can't use the argument that my grandmother never did it? Interesting..well she's now 60 and raising my uncles 2 kids and I assure you she can't run after them like she could hers and she doesn't leash them up.

A crib = a safe place for a child to sleep
A car seat = a restraint to keep a child safe in the car
A leash = a way to keep a child safe in public

Do you notice the same word in all of those things?

My grandmother used rope for her 4 kids and your grandmother didn't. It hasn't changed that there isn't one way to parent.

:huh: since were on the subject of what our grandmothers did, mine(now 87 started having them at 16) raised 6 by herself(well she did get the $2.50 a week in child support(not that much even for the lat 50's early 60's) worked full time used a rope to teather her small kids to her, and beat the piss out of the older ones to get them to stay in line...... suprizeingly they all are grown 3 are doctors 1 is a teacher 1 is a newspaper editor,1 is an artist and have grand kids of their own now and have her come stay with them regularly so yeah for our grandmas!! :bigsmile:


come on people there is no one way or right way to parent there is what ever way works for you and your kids