Is it ok for a woman..........

If you suspect something.... it is probably far worse then you could ever imagine. I know from my own experience. If it hadn't actually happened to me, I would have thought it was a staged thing on Jerry Springer.

Something on the side no doubt. Confront her.

I dont know what she means when she says whatever, She states I let you go to the VFW club because you like it, I let you leave every other weekend to play D and D with the guys and she says since she is being supportive of those things I should nt have a problem with who she talks to on the phone because she is a home body and that it should be ok whomever she talks to on the phone.

Maybe because you leave every other weekend, she is looking for attention elsewhere. Just a thought...

Maybe you need to find out what she is she is getting from talking with this other guy? Everyone needs their friends, but if there is an emotional need that is not being fulfilled within the marriage, then you need to find out what it is and be the one who listens and is there for her. It could be completely harmless but make a good friend of him but also pay more attention to your wife.

You already got a ton of replies and I don't have time to read them all so I will just tell you my experience.....
I was (yes WAS) married and found an old friend on facebook we had been good friends for 14 years talked on the phone and texted each other ended up falling head over heals with him AGAIN and now I am in the middle of a messy divorce..... Be careful!!!
Although the divorce was long overdue and (we had been having major problems for about 3 years prior) he knew it was coming before I started talking to this other guy it was this other guy who made me realize I didn't deserve what he was putting me through.

At the same time I had and have Several male friends I would talk to about anything and everything but they are just that... Friends. So it's a gut thing do you really think there is something more going on?

If she is open with you about the nature of her friendship with this man then there should be no problem. Why can she not have a male friend that she talks to? I think it's ok.

Where there is smoke... there is usually fire. Put it this way... while you are out on a quest playing D and D... she may be looking for a little Magi elsewhere....you get the drift?

Look Seriously... if you suspect something is up, talk to her. It is rather uncommon for a woman to spend so long talking to another guy. There has to be a reason. Are you paying her enough attention? She may be lonely and is enjoying the attention on the telephone. She may not be thinking affair. But She also is likely unaware that you are feeling of jealous and find this suspect.

Even though she may not have any intentions... I'd seriously have to question the guys intentions spending so much time calling a married woman. Have you told her how this makes you feel? There are two sides to a relationship. Before it evolves into a festering wound or an affair... talk to her. Find out where its at... what's bothering you and her.

I have many female friends... we do not phone each other late at night, or do anything that could be construed as mischief. We run in groups, we meet in public, our spouses are always welcome. Men and women can be friends. Friends don't cause other friends that kind of grief.

I do have to say that even though I played Dungeons and Dragons as a kid, I find it unusual that you are out slaying dragons instead of home seducing your wife.

I also think that maybe you should ask her if your D&D nights out are bothering her - if she feels neglected somehow. She could just be acting that way with him because she feels left out when you head out with friends. Not that it's your fault - you should both be entitled to your own free time - but it's just the fact that she keeps bringing up how she "lets" you go play D&D in reaction to you mentioning the phone calls, that makes me think maybe she's harboring some resentments that just need to be talked out, before it drives you two apart over it.

Granted, that's just going on what little you've said here - I don't know you and could be totally off, but I'm only going off my own experiences being married to a gamer (and often staying home with the kids while he's out playing DM til midnight and then some). Sometimes loneliness happens, you know?

You mentioned that she was a "homebody" and didn't like to go out, do you know what she does like? If you two have no interest to connect on, and you aren't there emotionally for her, then she is probably having an emotional affair. Substituting what she is not getting from you with someone else. I'd pretend you were dating again, and find a way to make your wife fall in love with you. Show her the attention, and the appreciation you have for her. Perhaps even try some couple counseling.

I used to be the wife of a gamer (Magic the Gathering). I even learned to play so I could connect with him on some level when he picked up the "habit". As he spent more time out of the house at the "shop" or going out of town for "games" I sought attention (emotionally) elsewhere after feeling abandoned. I sought divorce after he quit his paying job to play "full time". He didn't know me, he didn't know his daughter, and there was no common bond, and he didn't want to try and make a connection, to make our relationship work. (there was other issues as well, he was ex-military and the war really changed him)

While she may even say she doesn't want to do anything outside the house, it may be that she doesn't think you care at all. If she likes pottery, maybe there are some classes that happen on the weekend (so she's not home w/o you there!). Colleges offer great continuing education classes, that are fun. If she likes to cook, or is interested in knitting, there is something for everyone. Figure out what makes her spark, but be there to listen, encourage, and be her FRIEND.

Without communication on both ends... sounds like the boat is going to sink.

It's not okay, and you should have a serious conversation with her about it. Even if it is completely innocent, she should still respect you and put herself in your shoes. Your D&D nights are totally different; her being able to talk to this guy for so long because you play video games doesn't make sense. But, as people have said, ask her about that. Is it a big issue?

I'd read up a little bit on conflict management before going into this. You want to convey that you love and cherish her as your own, and while you don't want to constrain her, you want to feel completely comfortable knowing she is completely yours.

Just don't beat around the bush. My last relationship was damaged because we didn't have big honest conversations about what bothered us, just pointed remarks and excuses.