Lying on a job application (teenager)

135

Replies

  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    If someone finds out he is lying, he will get terminated.

    thats a bit drastic. but i guess thats how they roll in the united states. a firm telling off should suffice instead of termination!

    It's really not that farfetched to say that if a prospective employer called a "false" reference like that, that they wouldn't hire him. There are lots of unemployed people to choose from, so why would an employer waste their time with someone who can't be honest on their job application? Could you see yourself being able to trust that employee to balance a cash drawer if you catch them lying on their application? I've never been a business owner/manager, but I wouldn't hire him if he lied. Period. Waste of time.
  • ryn013
    ryn013 Posts: 116
    Don't do it. How hard is it for him to find a teacher, family friend, or a neighbor for goodness sake to vouch for him? Seriously.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    Best advice I ever got.

    A Resume is an advertisement, not a confessional.

    VERY true. But a high school teen doesn't have a resume--although some very ambitious ones most certainly do. There's no shame in that, they simply don't have any experience yet. Employers know this. So if he's going to put down family as a reference, he should just state that they are family. Period. Trying to paint them as a previous employer when they aren't is setting them up for failure.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Seriously? At least he's trying to get a job! You know how many lazy, drugged out teenagers there are hanging out at the mall doing nothing? Tell him he shouldn't have lied and you won't tolerate him doing it again but just LET IT GO. For my first job I put down my sister and listed her as a baby sitting client. Technically that wasn't a lie since I had babysat for her but you get my point. With the type of jobs that teenagers get, I highly doubt they will call anyway but I really think you're making a big deal out of nothing. He's trying to get a job, not trying to cheat on his taxes.

    this. i am sending a fr, i always see you make points that say exactly what i'm thinkin!
  • LouiseRose92
    LouiseRose92 Posts: 112
    I've used both my step-parents as references at one point or another, no one ever rang them though. If he has real references, he should use them.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    lol they dont check references on teenagers and they wont check if youre really your family friend or not
  • robertthesnail
    robertthesnail Posts: 110
    I think this is a good opportunity for him to learn about outcome based morality. If things don't work out the way you hoped they would, the questionable thing he did was wrong. If things DO work out the way he hoped they would, the questionable thing he did was right! Don't sabotage him, the poor boy has the entire rest of the world to teach him and the rest of his life to be taught hard lessons about how unforgiving life is. He doesn't need you to create artificial ones for the sake of "teachable moments".
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i always lie on job applications.

    they never call references for minimum wage jobs. i always use family, like my sister with a different last name.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    do you remember what it was like to be a teen ager? i'm a great kid, but i lied for a lot of my references. not because i didnt think people wouldnt have nice things to say, but because i didnt have much experience etc. i got the job, oh what do you know i'm a great worker. :]


    if hes a prick and a bad worker dont lie i guess. but shouldnt you be happy hes trying to get a job in the first place?
  • GypsysBloodRose26
    GypsysBloodRose26 Posts: 341 Member
    If someone finds out he is lying, he will get terminated.

    And then he will learn that lying is wrong. Especially on something he signs his name too.
  • medicinemantoo
    medicinemantoo Posts: 160
    Be honest.

    I'm an "old man" and I can stand toe to toe and eye to eye with anyone...

    Honesty is the best policy.
  • GypsysBloodRose26
    GypsysBloodRose26 Posts: 341 Member
    My nephew put me down and I found out when the prospective boss called. I told him the truth - I'm the aunt and he's never done any work for me, and he didn't even tell me that he'd done it. I then got off the phone and ratted him out to his mom. You aren't doing him any favors by lying - only teaching him that it's ok to lie.

    I personally find what you did to be a real ****ty thing. Especially going and tattling on him to his mother afterwards. You could have just been nice and said he was a good kid and then called him afterward and told him next time he has to ask. At least he was getting off his butt and trying to get a job. There are a lot of lazy bratty teens out there who would laugh if you asked them to work.

    Its not like its a position as a CEO. Its retail or fast food. He wants a job so he can be responsible. I think just this once she could tell a tiny white lie. It isn't going to turn him into some con artist liar who steals peoples money and robs banks. He isn't going to become a full blown liar.

    And I call bull**** to anyone who says they've NEVER lied before. People tell lies depending on the situation, like avoiding hurting someones feelings for example.

    Of course everyone has lied sometime in their life. But really? Having a kid lie without informing the other person was an idiot move and the aunt had EVERY righ to inform the kids mother. How else will the kid learn? By being handed everything and not learning the word consequence?
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    I don't think that you're being unreasonable at all. It drives me nuts to hear people complain about their kids lying and then see them lying for/about their kids. My kids know that I won't lie for them. My 11 year old is upset that all of his friends have facebook accounts, but I won't let him because you're suppose to be 13, and I won't lie about his age. I know people that tell their kids to lie about their ages to save a few bucks on meals at restaurants. . . . How much is your/their integrity worth?

    Take a stand. You will sleep better knowing that you did not compromise your morals, and you will be teaching him a valuable lesson!
  • GypsysBloodRose26
    GypsysBloodRose26 Posts: 341 Member
    I don't think that you're being unreasonable at all. It drives me nuts to hear people complain about their kids lying and then see them lying for/about their kids. My kids know that I won't lie for them. My 11 year old is upset that all of his friends have facebook accounts, but I won't let him because you're suppose to be 13, and I won't lie about his age. I know people that tell their kids to lie about their ages to save a few bucks on meals at restaurants. . . . How much is your/their integrity worth?

    Take a stand. You will sleep better knowing that you did not compromise your morals, and you will be teaching him a valuable lesson!

    This ^^^
  • captainmaharet
    captainmaharet Posts: 2
    Integrity check all around.

    We don't know the OP's family dynamic. Regardless of what that might be, spouses of parents are not family friends, especially when they spend a significant portion of the kid's life raising him. And when the potential employer calls her, they'll find out the kid is full of crap and not a good potential employee.
  • d4wn66
    d4wn66 Posts: 48
    I actually filled an out an online application pretending to be my son for a job at a food out let , there were a lot of what would you do if ? Questions so I was as trueful as much as I thought he would answer , i did this becuse he was dragging his heals trying to get a casual job for him self .(aged 16)
    He got the interview and got the job , so although I know I shouldn't of , the out come is he has a job , after school, earns about $90 a week , he has more respect for money now he is earning it and alls good .
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Honestly I'd do it.
    And I hope when my children are old enough and they ask my soon to be husband to do the same, that he would.


    There's a lot of stuff I'd never ever let them get away with. But this I don't see as a big deal.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    I don't see why not. It's so hard to get good references if you've never had a job before. If it's his first job then I would definitely do it.
    I've "pretended" to be references for people before.
    For someone who actually has had some jobs, it's great.

    But I mean, it's hardly lying to say you're a friend of the family. You married his dad, right? His dad is his family. You and his dad are "friends". There you go.
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    You wouldn't go and inch out of your way to help your own kid? ****ed up.

    Yep that's exactly it. You got me. When did you list your parents as a reference on a job application?

    (It's really too bad no woman stepped up for this child to help raise him when his mom developed severe alcoholism and isn't in his life at all.)

    So, who do you think he should be listing as a reference? Did you give him any advice in that respect? Because I know that when I was looking for my first job (at 17), I didn't have any non-family members to list. I used my aunt and my grandma.

    If a person is 17 and has absolutely no one to use as a reference, that's a big red flag. I'm a teacher and I have happily vouched for students seeking employment. I have advised them in clubs; they have been my student aides. I have employed babysitters and worked with them in community organizations. Yes, a young person should, by the age of 17, have been involved enough in the world to have some references outside of his parents.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Just tell him to call the place and say that he misunderstood, and he had accidently written his step-mom down. Help him find a new reference.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Just tell him to call the place and say that he misunderstood, and he had accidently written his step-mom down. Help him find a new reference.

    or she could just give him the reference. this makes him look incompetent.
  • stagknight
    stagknight Posts: 130 Member
    I used to do references for my married sister but the thing was she had actually worked for me and as we never have seen eye to eye she knew it would be honest and not over the top gushing.
  • cretur
    cretur Posts: 19
    No way don't lie for them, I would be pissed if my kid even asked me to do so..
  • cretur
    cretur Posts: 19
    Just tell him to call the place and say that he misunderstood, and he had accidently written his step-mom down. Help him find a new reference.

    That will surely get him the job LOL
  • deaftolight
    deaftolight Posts: 20 Member
    My resume is a web of lies.
  • nwhitley
    nwhitley Posts: 619
    I don't think that you're being unreasonable at all. It drives me nuts to hear people complain about their kids lying and then see them lying for/about their kids. My kids know that I won't lie for them. My 11 year old is upset that all of his friends have facebook accounts, but I won't let him because you're suppose to be 13, and I won't lie about his age. I know people that tell their kids to lie about their ages to save a few bucks on meals at restaurants. . . . How much is your/their integrity worth?

    Take a stand. You will sleep better knowing that you did not compromise your morals, and you will be teaching him a valuable lesson!

    Absolutely!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Most of the calls I get as a reference just say someone listed me as a reference. They don't specifically ask the nature of the relationship. They may just ask you how long you've known him and what qualities you see in him that would make him a good employee. IF they ask you if you're a family friend, you'll need to decide if saying yes is a lie or partially true. Now, if he were asking you to lie about previous jobs, listed you as an employer, that's different.

    Did he ask you first? I don't think I'd throw him under the bus if I got a call, but I'd ask him not to do it again and suggest other reference options for him.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    My resume is a web of lies.

    That's inspirational. Mine isn't.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    i dont see the big deal. Yes you should discourage lying but if your honest opinion is that he's a good kid, do you think he can do the job well then the only harm here is that they insist on professional references from a teen

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