Any More Chubby Twenties?

Good morning everyone! I hope everyone's had a happy New Year! It's official- the holidays are over!!!! So, no more excuses for eating junk food, lol. Did anyone make any New Year's Resolutions? I did! I resolved to spend more time exercising every week. I didn't want to make 'weight loss' a resolution since I've already been working towards that (actively) for about six weeks now. But I've always been a bit flaky with my workouts, so I thought I should make that my resolution.

My weekend was good... except for the fact that my computer seems to have just died on me. Not really sure what happened. It just won't turn off- no power, nothing. Fortunately I have a laptop, so I've still been logging foods. But it's a bit of a PITA to use, so I haven't been typing much. Much easier to log in during the day when I'm not at home! Definitely wanted to check in with everyone.

Looks like I've lost 1.4 pounds since my last weigh-in. YAY! And also, huh? Lol. My measurements have gone WAY up though! Like, I've shrunk in the torso- but my thighs, calfs and arms all gained- close to an inch each! The only explanation I can think of is that I had a really heavy workout yesterday, and they might just be 'swollen' from overuse. Or something. I remember when I went to Curves, they usually liked to weigh and measure before a workout because muscles that had been used tend to be heavier/bigger and it will throw your measurements off. So I'm thinking that may have something to do with it- though, to be honest, I'm just kind of pulling that out of the air. I'm pretty confident it's not fat, though! Lol.

kerimcdonald - Thank you so much, that would be awesome! It's amazing how much I've become aware of the effect sodium has on my body. Honestly, I'd never thought about that before. I had some Chinese food for dinner Xmas Eve and swelled up like a balloon! Ate really well and exercised on my birthday, drank tons of water... scale went down. Funny how fast that works! Needless to say, I'm working much harder to cut back on my sodium intake because of that! Also, congrats on maintaining your weight! I know how disappointing it can be not to see a drop, but this is the way I look at it: The average person gains SIX POUNDS during the holidays. So if you can make it this far without a gain- even if you just maintain- that's a pretty big deal. Considering how much elliptical time you're putting in, I can definitely believe you're not only building muscle, but also doing your body a lot of good. I think it's good sometimes to put it in perspective that way- weight is a number. But think of how much good we're doing for our bodies by eating better and exercising! That's something to be proud of in itself.

gurlondrums - Welcome! I hope you'll find out group useful in providing the support you need! Definitely not too late. We're not so much a 'challenge', I don't think, as just a group of individuals with similar goals. In the beginning I talked about 30, 60 and 90 day goals. Not so much as a challenge- but more just to give ourselves a target to aim for. We've tried working on challenges, but they always seem to fall by the wayside in favor of chatting, lol. I've got to say though, it feels good to have people to be accountable to!!! I'm in a similar boat myself- I can't afford a gym membership! Two small kids makes it nearly impossible. So I work out at home. I use a combination of Wii (with the balance board), resistance bands, free weights, DVDs, weight machine, stepper, ab wheel and fitness ball to get in my exercise.


jb_sweet_99 - Sorry to hear about your computer! I can certainly relate. :grumble: I like the idea of starting things 'fresh'. I'm using this New Year's as a big old 'reset' button. I've been here at MFP for about six weeks now and while I've done pretty well, I know there are things I could be doing better. Working out more, making healthier choices (not JUST calorie counting) and cutting back on sodium. So I've decided to embrace the 'New Years Resolution' mentality by building on what I'm already doing- just doing it better! :smokin: I'm sorry to hear about your neck pain! I get occassional back/neck pain. When my back or neck is acting up, I usually spend a few days doing Yoga or Pilates instead of regular working out. It's pretty gentle (but still a good workout!), and helps me heal up. Also, I agree- icing it might be good. Alternate ice and heat, even better.


kaytbognar - I can understand where you're coming from. Sometimes getting to our goals just seems so HARD. I think of how much work I've put in already and how far I still have to go.... and I get really bummed out! I just have to take it a day at a time. If I think too far ahead, I get discouraged and want to eat onion rings and drink beer. :drinker:

I also understand your worry about drinking. To be honest- yes, it probably could affect (some of) your friendships. That is, when I was in my early twenties, I drank and partied. A LOT. I was uber-thin (the picture in my ticker was taken back then- that's me at my goal weight!) but that's only because I barely ate. It was party-party-party, drink-drink-drink. And what I DID eat was largely crap. I only burned it off because I danced- a lot! But I was little miss popular, and all the boys wanted some of what I had! Okay, that sounds bad, but it's not too much of an exaggeration. I had a lot of male friends that I thought were real friends. And a lot of female friends, too. But then I got pregnant, stopped drinking. Lots all but two or three of my guy friends because, let's face it- I was going to be a mom, and I wasn't single. They'd lost any chance they (thought they) had of hooking up with me, so therefore, they couldn't be bothered to be my friend. A lot of my female friends, it turned out, were hanging around me because of my guy friends. I seemed to be the unwitting matchmaker. Suddenly, I wasn't the person to go to if you wanted to meet some guys. So I lost all but one or two of my female friends. I will tell you this: making a lifestyle change like this WILL show you who your real friends are. I don't mean to be blunt, but I think it's something you have to be somewhat prepared for because a lot of people who make real lifestyle changes are surprised and hurt when this happens. And it CAN be hard to deal with. In the end, I think it's about making the decision to either do what you want to do but take the risk you may not have as much in common with some of your friends any more... or take the safe road, and avoid all that. I know that, at the end of the day, those friends that really matter WILL still be there for you. Anyone who wouldn't... they're just ice cubes anyways. You know- waterheads, pretending to be solid.

But then- and I wanted to mention this- what happened to me was not just because I stopped drinking. It's also because I stopped going to the bar and everything. I knew I needed to grow up and be a mom- so I did seperate myself from people. There was a time, though, before I became a bit of a bar star, where I NEVER drank. I went out to the bar and drank water all night long. Shot pool, danced, flirted- the whole nine yards. And I really rarely ever took flak for it. I don't think people really noticed- they were to drunk to! I guess the point I'm making, after the fact, is that lifestyle changes CAN affect your friendships. However I also agree with Keri- you can still go out and NOT drink and have fun.

I do hope that you're feeling better today! Know that we're all here for you if you need to vent.

Hi everyone. I am in full crisis mode and after spending several days in a depressed state shutting everyone out, I've decided I should reach out and find some support. I don't usually publicly discuss my private stuff, but like I said need some support and don't have many friends...my family isn't good with this sort of thing. Ok, so I had some thoughts niggling at my subconscious that something might be going on with my husband, and I was really irritable with him and couldn't figure out why. Could be why I mentioned something in an earlier post about issues with his fidelity (off and on for 3 years now, just reconciled 3 mos ago after being separated for 3 mos). The holidays of course have been very stressful and we had very little time just to ourselves with my sis staying at the house. So initially contributed my feelings to this. But then he stayed gone all night one night, and another night went to a friend's house at 9pm didn't come home til 4:30 am and was very drunk. I had vowed that last time would be the last time, that I couldn't tolerate this kind of behavior anymore. So I've asked him to move out. And yet I'm the one depressed, taking anti-depressants that make me want to do nothing but sleep. Can't hardly eat at all, yesterday had nothing but fruit smoothies. He is begging me to not go through with *gulp* (it's so hard to say the word) divorce, but I feel he's left me no choice. And on top of everything, I've got to pull myself together for my kiddos. Everything is so hard right now. I called my therapist last night, and he told me I need to get out of the house everyday, that I need to talk to someone. And then he called my husband to put me on a suicide watch? Does that make sense to anyone? I mean hubby's the reason I'm in this state, but he's gonna take care of me and pull me through? Doubtful. Therapist warned that if I stay depressed like this I'll have to go to a mental hospital. Then what of my kids?

*hugs*

Aw hun, SO SORRY to hear you're going through this.

I mentioned before, I went through similar behavior on my husband's part a few years ago, and every minute of it was gut-wrenching and difficult. Getting drunk, staying out until all hours of the morning. I completely understand where you're coming from and I do believe that you're doing the right thing. You've clearly attempted to fix things in the past, and if he's still not willing to change his behavior than you need to do what's best for you and your kids. In my case, I flat-out told my husband I couldn't deal with what he was doing to me anymore. The stress, anxiety- it was tearing me apart. And as much as I loved him I couldn't be with someone who would treat me like that. Fortunately for me he realized pretty quickly what his priorities were and straightened up. He knew it was that lifestyle or us, and he chose us.

When children are involved, you have to be willing to make a stand. As hard as it may be, I believe you're doing the right thing by asking him to move out. I understand you're going through a tough time right now and that you're feeling depressed- that is natural. But you have to be strong for your children- they've got to be your number one priority, and you need to set an example for them. It sounds like your husband is concerned about you- but I'm worried that part of his 'concern' may be his way of keeping control over you. Carting you off to a mental hospital?

What you're going through right now is a normal grieving process. It's going to be hard to work through- but it's natural. I like to look at situations like this and think of the long-term/short-term happiness/hurt ratio. From the sounds of it, your husband is not going to change his behavior. If you stay with him, this behavior cycle will continue and you'll constantly be hurting, all the time. This pain is what leads us to depression (and, since we're in a weight loss forum I'll say it- comfort eating), and overall low self esteem. By asking him to move out, you're going to have a LOT of hurt right now- but you're opening yourself up to happiness in the future. So basially you have two options right now- either way, you're going to be hurting right now. But by moving on with your life, you're at least going to be able to find peace in the future. Does that make sense?

I'm not trying to tell you what to do. And if you and your husband are able to make things work, and you stay with him, there will be no judgement from me. I know reconciliation is possible. But the fact that he's done this before, and you've seperated before, tells me that he's not going to change easily. He needs to really want to change- and he needs to get help for himself. It's not fair what he's doing to you, and you deserve to be treated with respect. From what I can tell from your photos, you're a lovely, vibrant young woman with so much life still ahead of her. Do you want those future years filled with heartache? You're still young, and it's not too late to make a fresh start.

Whatever you choose to do, you have our support. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.

Regards,
Carrie.