Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

Options
24567…17

Replies

  • terra32903
    terra32903 Posts: 185 Member
    Options
    I kept it so that my son would still 'identify' with me. And also because my maiden name was atrocious and I didn't like to be identified with my paternal family.
  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
    Options
    I went back to my maiden name. I had a bad marriage and didn't want to be tied to him in that way. However, before I did this I asked my kids how they would feel if I had a different last name than them. Response was "Mommy, a lot of kids don't have the same last name as their parents". Also, if I remarry, my name will be different at that point anyway.
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
    Options
    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.

    Ditto.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Options
    Also, guys, if you want a woman to go through the trouble of changing her name for you, then give her yours. Otherwise, why do you deserve the effort? The ex is an ex for a reason, no threat to you.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
    Options
    If it works for you, use it. No, seriously.............
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    Options
    My mom kept her last name when she divorced my dad because she wanted the same last name as me and my brother because we were fairly young...I was the older at 7. However, she just got her second divorce from my step dad and went back to her maiden name, but my sister is 12 so I don't think it bothers her that my mom has a different last name.
  • StoutGirl09
    StoutGirl09 Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    If they have been together for most of their lives, the woman i would assume would keep the last name because people in the work industry know her as that name. It's hard to keep your name out there when you switch it.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Options
    read the OP....I get that a divroced women keeps the name, esp for kids...but if you are getting remarried...take the new name.
  • workoutgirl23
    workoutgirl23 Posts: 267
    Options
    I think its fine to keep the last name for as long as you want, as long as your not remarried. now, if a woman marries a different man, then i would think its a little odd, that they want to keep their ex husbands last name still. but if they are just divorced and not remarried or anything, i think the woman can keep the name for as long as she wants. personally if i ever got divorced, i would keep my husbands last name for awhile. and then eventually if i got remarried to a different guy, then i would switch it.
  • LovingLisa2012
    LovingLisa2012 Posts: 802 Member
    Options
    been married 11 years, and actually still have my maiden name (1 day I will change it to the hubbys name)

    my mom kept her last ex husbands name and she has been divorced well over 20 years (probably closer to 23/24 years)
    simply due to the paper work involved in changing name (credit cards, bills, car titles / car insurance, driver lisc. etc)
  • SlimmingSarah2012
    SlimmingSarah2012 Posts: 53
    Options
    I got married and kept my maiden name...problem solved :)

    But, if I had taken his name and then gotten a divorce the only way I would keep the last name is if my kids had that name. I would want the same last name as my kids for sure.

    I don't think its disrespectful to the new guy...if you were doing it for your kids and I think they would respect that. If you married said new guy you could always add his name on...the more the merrier. Jane Doe-Smith....kids Johnny Doe...old husband....John Doe...new husband...John Smith. See what i mean ;)
  • gsager
    gsager Posts: 977 Member
    Options
    I kept my ex's last name because it's my children's last name. Been divorced for ever and never remarried but never had anything to do with him again. So happy to get out of that trap I would never do that again. So it certainly had nothing to do with him or respecting anyone else, except maybe my kids.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Options
    I think its fine to keep the last name for as long as you want, as long as your not remarried. now, if a woman marries a different man, then i would think its a little odd, that they want to keep their ex husbands last name still. but if they are just divorced and not remarried or anything, i think the woman can keep the name for as long as she wants. personally if i ever got divorced, i would keep my husbands last name for awhile. and then eventually if i got remarried to a different guy, then i would switch it.

    ^ this
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
    Options
    I know you asked guys but here's my input.

    My mother kept my fathers last name because they had children together. She wanted to remain "connected" to her children if you will. It just made everything easier for her and my brother and me.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
    Options
    At the time my ex and I divorced, my kids were still young and in school. In order to make it easier all around, I told my ex I was keeping the name...he had no objection.

    It was kinda funny though. When my ex married his SECOND ex wife, all my kids teachers would call me, "Mrs Jones"....but they had NO idea what to call his wife. Thankfully that problem only lasted a year before she took off. :D
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Options
    my mother and grandmother both kept the names for the children. As a man i wouldn't want my wife to keep the name afterwards, especially if i plan to remarry
  • Crocetti1984
    Crocetti1984 Posts: 25
    Options
    I knew someone who was married to (what she says) an abusive husband, but when she got divorced she kept the last name because this particular last name she thought made her sound like a "gift from G-d". The woman was kinda crazy.
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
    Options
    I have never known a man that gives a *kitten* about where his woman's last name came from.

    I also think that if you share that last name with your children, it is preferable to keep it until you were to remarry.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Options
    As an ex, I wouldn't care

    As the "new guy", I wouldn't care.
  • shani251
    shani251 Posts: 145 Member
    Options
    I still have my ex's last name for a few reasons - 1) my maiden name is Norwegian and is consistently mispronounced, 2) i built a great career while i had that last name and don't want the mess of oh-by-the-way-my-name-now-is (at least not right now), and 3) i plan on marrying my current boyfriend someday so lets just save some paperwork, shall we? :flowerforyou:

Categories