Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

Also, guys, if you want a woman to go through the trouble of changing her name for you, then give her yours. Otherwise, why do you deserve the effort? The ex is an ex for a reason, no threat to you.

I totally agree with this!!

I have never heard that it was disrespectful to anyone to keep the ex's last name. This is new to me. I decided to keep it only because we have three school-aged children and I want to be identified as their mother. If that offends a guy, then he's not worth my time to date. Period.

I kept my exes last name for many years.

When we divorced our children were 4, 3 and 1. I felt it would be easier for our kids if we all had the same last name. Then over the years, it seemed like it would be a pain in the @ss to change it since my car, my house, bank accounts etc etc were all in that name so I kept it.

I recently remarried, and now use my current husbands name. My kids are 22, 21 and 19.

Ahhhh this hits home.
My exwife kept my last name, we have kids together.
Well she got remarried but didn't change her last name to his, then they had a kid together and the last name of that child is my last name hyphenated with his.

My oldest daughter called (young at the time) confused because she saw a prescription bottle with the last name combinaton and thought when I picked them up her new little sister was coming also.

True story

Buncha looney toons in that house. Yikes.

Also, guys, if you want a woman to go through the trouble of changing her name for you, then give her yours. Otherwise, why do you deserve the effort? The ex is an ex for a reason, no threat to you.

I know you asked for responses from women, but I have to agree with this statement. I think it' s disrespectful to be offended by an Ex's last name. As said above, he's an ex for a reason. If you marry her she will probably take your last name, but I find it a bit arrogant to expect her to go through all the hassle to change her name simply to date you. That strikes me as "Looking" for something to be offended by.

I debated very heavily on whether or not to go back to my maiden name when I went through my divorce. There were a few factors for me...

1) I work at the same company as my dad and he holds a management position, I didn't want people to see the same last name and assume I got my job because of him. I wanted to be treated as my own person.
2) We had kids so my children carry that last name and I didn't want my kids to feel there was any negativity attached to the last name or that I somehow loved them differently.
3) It's a pain to deal with all the paperwork.

If I ever re-marry then yeah, I'd change my name but until then it's my choice and if a guy gets upset about it and thinks it's disrespectful then he doesn't know me very well and will likely be a constant source of drama and childish antics that I don't want in my life. If I sound rude sorry but we're adults and my reasons are my own. I will not bend over backwards to soothe a wounded male ego over something so trivial.

I kept my last name to annoy my ex-husband. Petty, yes, but I didn't have any emotional attachment to my maiden name or my married name. When he demanded that I change my last name so that I would no longer be affiliated with his family, I pointed him to the law that stated I was not under any legal obligation to change my name back.

I ended up getting remarried anyway, so I don't have that last name anymore...

I kept my last name both times...because I have kids, and because it's a royal pain in the butt to do all the document changing. Maybe I would have gone back if I'd had no kids, but after 10 years I really don't see much point <shrug> ...I certainly never considered it in terms of "feelings" for the ex. Meh...it's just a name.

I kept his last name because it's easier when taking the kids to the doctor or getting them registered for school. It's just a name to me. It doesn't define who I am, it's a way of labeling me for the government or businesses.

for some people its easier not to change it... and cheaper haha.

i never officially changed my last name... but i've used both.

I have the opposite problem. I've been married almost six years and never took my husbands last name. We were young and he was in the military and I didn't want the hassle. I still don't, but it bothers me whenever I think about it that we don't.

My brother's girlfriend is divorced. They started dating before her divorce was finalized. She still has her ex's last name, because my brother made it clear to her that he would be willing to get married someday. She didn't want to change her last name to her maiden name only to have to turn around and change it again a few years later when she marries my brother. When you think about all the bank accounts,credit cards etc your name is attached to I don't blame her sounds like a hassle.

Here's a different but related-ish comment:
When my aunt became a widow after my uncle's death, she later remarried took his last name but when they divorced she retook my uncle's last name. This is something I found interesting even if she is no longer my aunt per-se she is still strongly regarded as my family.

I'm single, but I probably won't change my name in the first place. I've spent 30 years with this name why would I change it?

I wish I had never changed mine when I got married, tbh.

I hate my last name. People can never pronounce it and everyone calls me "Lisa" all the time. (Those of you who know my last name know why.)

I want to get married just so I CAN change it! lol I would never go back. My only child is about to start college and will probably get married and change hers someday, so no reason not to for me.

I kept my ex's last name "for the sake of the kids" but now that my youngest has graduated from high school I'm considering going back to my maiden name.....which I like so much better because its really cool.

I'd keep whichever name is more awesome!

Also, I might be too lazy to go through all that paperwork.

This. I have yet to change mine. Back.