Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

My mother-in-law kept hers and I probably would keep my husband's if we divorced. Nothing to do with any guys or not being over him. Would have to do with it being my kids last name...It would just make life easier...Although my maiden name is shorter...

Personally, even if I ever find a significant other and get married, I am never changing my name. My parents gave me my name and I like it, all my friends and professional contacts know me by this name, and I'm too old to change now.

And I don't see why a woman should have to fill out a bunch of paperwork, get all new checks and IDs and change who she is, unless the man also has to do the same. Sexism is alive and well in our society.

I don't see how taking your husband's name (if someone chooses to do so) is proof that sexism is alive and well. I gladly changed my last name to my husband's because I love him and wanted to make a home, together with the same name, with him. Not everyone wants to do that and I don't judge them if they choose not to.

As for keeping your maiden name, you are really just keeping your father's last name. So if sexism is what you are worried about, you might want to make up a last name that is all yours and not something passed down from a man.

I felt this way for a while too. I wasn't even sure I was changing my name until a few weeks after our wedding. However, I wanted to have a unified family name.. and it was either his name, my name, or we made up a new one... I chose his. I like it, it puts my higher up in the alphabet, and I really have no ties to my dad's extended family, so it hasn't been too much of an issue. I no longer think of it as "his family's" name, we think of it as OUR family name .. my husband, my son, and me. I always joke to him that I'm not one of "those" Pierce's when family reunion time rolls around.

Personally, even if I ever find a significant other and get married, I am never changing my name. My parents gave me my name and I like it, all my friends and professional contacts know me by this name, and I'm too old to change now.

And I don't see why a woman should have to fill out a bunch of paperwork, get all new checks and IDs and change who she is, unless the man also has to do the same. Sexism is alive and well in our society.

I don't see how taking your husband's name (if someone chooses to do so) is proof that sexism is alive and well. I gladly changed my last name to my husband's because I love him and wanted to make a home, together with the same name, with him. Not everyone wants to do that and I don't judge them if they choose not to.

As for keeping your maiden name, you are really just keeping your father's last name. So if sexism is what you are worried about, you might want to make up a last name that is all yours and not something passed down from a man.

You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.

And you omitted the first part of my post where I basically said "it should be the woman's choice, whatever floats your boat." I'm not judging anyone. Just saying that when society EXPECTS us to automatically give up our identity, and does not expect the man to do the same, that society is sexist. And when men claim they have any say in the matter, or claim that women are being "disrespectful" by not changing our names to suit them, that's sexist.

If I had not had children, I likely would have gone back to my last name.

Meant to say I would have gone back to my MAIDEN name.

kids or not..change it back

I AGREE !!

WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK!! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE THE ONLY PART I HATED WAS WAITING AT THE DMV AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE EVERYTHING ELSE IS SIMPLE

You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.

Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.

WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK!! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE THE ONLY PART I HATED WAS WAITING AT THE DMV AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE EVERYTHING ELSE IS SIMPLE

It does cost money. Social security is free, but the new drivers license costs money.

As does a new passport.

WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK!! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE THE ONLY PART I HATED WAS WAITING AT THE DMV AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE EVERYTHING ELSE IS SIMPLE

It does cost money. Social security is free, but the new drivers license costs money.

Edit: And the new passport also costs money.

oh yea I forgot about that lol sorry

I liked having the same last name as my mom. She kept her married name until after I had graduated high school and moved out on my own.
I've never been married, but if I do marry while my child is young, I won't have a different last name than her -- it'd be both of us or neither of us.
I don't think it's disrespectful -- it's a heck of a lot better than having to look at a tattoo of the ex's name, for example. And there are a lot of other reasons not to change your name...it's a hassle, and some careers rely heavily on name recognition. Not just celebrities, but average, every-day jobs, too. Heck, I'm in the military and it matters here -- names have reputations, and reputations affect big career decisions. My current name meeting a board for this or that would get a lot farther than an unrecognized name.
So even if I did have a married name, if I had built a reputation with that name that couldn't easily be transferred, odds are I wouldn't change my name. If someone thinks that's disrespectful to them, well, I think their lack of regard for my personal and professional choices is disrespectful.