Hubby spying on me...
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Nobody has asked if you have given your husband a reason to be spying on you.
This.0 -
My husband doesn't spy on me, and I don't spy on him.
The whole "trust" thing is pretty awesome.0 -
I would just like to state for the record that I do not actually know the OP, and I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a cute little mole on her left hip.
*ahem*0 -
I don't know if he spies on me or not. My page is pretty much always logged in from home, so he could certainly look in any time he wants. He hasn't said anything. I don't expect that this would be interesting enough to him to bother though.
This ^^ Both my FB and MFP log in automatically so he can look anytime he wants. Though, except for the few times I ask him to look at something on FB I don't think he does. But, it wouldn't bother me if he did.0 -
I would just like to state for the record that I do not actually know the OP, and I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a cute little mole on her left hip.
*ahem*
See, told ya!0 -
See, I don't get the whole sharing accounts/passwords deal. If my partner didn't trust me, giving him access to my account so he can check up on my activity isn't really going to resolve the underlying issue.0
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just for the sake of discussion, security/insecurity and trust issues are not necessarily related.
For example, you can be secure in yourself, but have trust issues which cause insecurity in your relations.
I'm pretty secure in myself, but i have trust issues with people in general and arguably with good reason.
I could explain the examples of why i feel this is often justified but suffice it to say I've been through the wringer.
This trust issue makes all relationships in my life including my GF challenging, especially when i feel like communication is not as open as it could/should be. I am effectively an open book, but she is much less so, which just makes me wonder more.
And yes, i concede that the issue is mostly mine, but i don't spy on her and i don't think she spys on me.
and she is a member here.0 -
I was wondering when someone would get to that!! Nope, never a reason. Just he's been like that since day one. Generally he's a pretty sicure guy, but he's had a rough past with some pretty sleazy ex's. I really thought he'd trust me by now, I mean we've been together for almost 3 years.... But he thinks it's perfectly normal. That all husbands do/should check up on their wives.Nobody has asked if you have given your husband a reason to be spying on you.
I love how everyone just assumes he is insecure.
And vice versa.0 -
How do you know he is spying on you unless you yourself are quilty to. Not trying to be ugly just saying you both need to be honest to really work things out.....Hay its a weird kind of compliment from him
I hope all goes well for you! 0 -
Have some fun with it. Lead him to believe you are having an affair but with a woman. Make plans to meet up somewhere and lay in wait for him. When he shows up, make him feel real guilty for not trusting you. Next day, nice presents 0
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I was wondering when someone would get to that!! Nope, never a reason. Just he's been like that since day one. Generally he's a pretty sicure guy, but he's had a rough past with some pretty sleazy ex's. I really thought he'd trust me by now, I mean we've been together for almost 3 years.... But he thinks it's perfectly normal. That all husbands do/should check up on their wives.Nobody has asked if you have given your husband a reason to be spying on you.
I love how everyone just assumes he is insecure.
And vice versa.
Cool. So this has always been the norm for the relationship, and this is normal for him. Is there a reason it is bothering you now and wasn't before?0 -
I guess I'd ask what you consider "spying". If my husband posts something on FB, I get an alert and then go look at it - is that spying?
What are we talking about exactly? Is he logging in as you and going through your messages? Does he say why he does it? Is he looking for something in particular?
From my perspective, if there are no secrets and nothing is withheld, there is no reason for spying. My husband has access to all my accounts any time he wants, and I couldn't care less if he did look in any of them. I have nothing to hide from him. In my experience, blind trust without accountability often leads to trouble...
Again, just my perspective.0 -
That's a good point... Like most everyone said here, we have seperate laptops, though mine is the main one, and I pretty much stay logged into whatever all the time cus well he's my friend on facebook anyway and I have nothing to hide, but I mean he goes through everything. He has to know who each of my friends are, and how I know them, (mostly the male ones, which I don't have any male friends unless theyre family) and my messages. On my MFP he went through my friends, and my recent posts and my profile. He does these things behind my back generally from my own computer, though he could be doing it from work because he does have my passwords.Define "spying". Is he logging into your accounts behind your back, or is he just reading the same stuff you post for the rest of the world to see? If it's the latter, I'd bet he's just bored, and thinks you're one of the more interesting things on the internet. If it's the latter, it's a whole different issue.0 -
Big negative. No bigger turn-off than not being trusted.
You better tell him to fix it. You will get really pissed by his insecurity and jealousy as time goes by.0 -
LMAO! Would never work, cus I'd get a nasty phone call before I could ever leave the house... Then I'd be afriad he'd never believe me that it was just a set up!!!Have some fun with it. Lead him to believe you are having an affair but with a woman. Make plans to meet up somewhere and lay in wait for him. When he shows up, make him feel real guilty for not trusting you. Next day, nice presents0 -
I was wondering when someone would get to that!! Nope, never a reason. Just he's been like that since day one. Generally he's a pretty sicure guy, but he's had a rough past with some pretty sleazy ex's. I really thought he'd trust me by now, I mean we've been together for almost 3 years.... But he thinks it's perfectly normal. That all husbands do/should check up on their wives.Nobody has asked if you have given your husband a reason to be spying on you.
I love how everyone just assumes he is insecure.
And vice versa.
Ding! RIght there... it isn't you - it's his sleazy exes that have got his back up. Just keep being your normal, trust-worthy self and don't stress too much about it. My ex was one of those sleazy people that cheated on me with multiple people... it is SO HARD not to project the trust issues he left me with onto other people. I don't think it's okay to do that, but I understand where it's coming from...0 -
My boyfriend might read through my txt, but I do the same to him.. we used to be on each others facebooks all the time, but now we dont. And MFP, he is my friend, and I have an open diary and all that.. sound like your hubby is a little in sercure and maybe a bit jealous. I say unless you have full access to his stuff, he shouldn't have it to yours0
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No he doesnt know my password like he does on facebook lol0
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This is something we've talked and fought and talked and talked and talked about... Sometimes I get an apology. Sometimes he admits he has a problem. Most of the time he promises it will get better.... Other times on the other hand, he says things like ALL husbands do/should check on their wives and vice versa... It hasn't really gotten any better. Mostly I've just learned how to avoid the 'problem areas'... for example, weird things like stepping out during certian commericals to having no male friends.0
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I take back my previous comment after reading your last couple of posts... dude has major issues if he goes through your friends lists on Facebook and MFP and interrogates you about how you know people and why your friends with them. It would be different if he was just checking on things now and then to assure himself you're not like his exes... but this is straight-up control freak behaviour - not normal or acceptable.0
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lol as far as i know my dude doesn't spy on me
he couldn't care less that im on here or what i say on here or fb for that matter
if he asked i'd give him the passwords ......0 -
Also, my boyfriend was cheated on too before me, We are going on 6 years now, but the 1st 3 were like that. After awhile of seeing nothing, he will realize that he can let his guard now. It is hard though to love someone, have them rip out your heart, and then love someone again and NOT be afraid of it happening again0
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I would ask him why he feels like he needs to spy on you. Is he just interested or is he insecure/jealous?0
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See, I don't get the whole sharing accounts/passwords deal. If my partner didn't trust me, giving him access to my account so he can check up on my activity isn't really going to resolve the underlying issue.
amen0 -
I know because he finds the stupid things to nit pick on, and he's not good at hiding anything. Like when he went threw my MFP profile, he read which posts I replied to. Next morning he went on a rant about how I don't find him attractive (he's neither lean & cut nor big muscled)... (a user posted a question asking women if they like men lean and cut or with big muscles. My reply was that I thought a man should be proporiate, that some big built men are just to big, and therefore kinda weird to look at) Or if my friend count increases on facebook he goes through my page and look up any of my new friends....How do you know he is spying on you unless you yourself are quilty to. Not trying to be ugly just saying you both need to be honest to really work things out.....Hay its a weird kind of compliment from him I hope all goes well for you!0 -
for example, weird things like stepping out during certian commericals to having no male friends.
Ok im slowly losing sympathy for you hubby. That is controlling and obsessive. My boyfriend was like that for a bit, but I stompped that out real quick. Oh i guess I should add we were in HIGH SCHOOL. Now that we are 21, 23 years old we aren't like that at ALL anymore. I started applying al lhis rules to him, and then he got it. I wouldn't let him talk to his girl friends (which he has always had a ton of) and He couldn't go out anywhere with them. He realized how dumb it was because he was just friends with them, and now he doesn't care. Only time he ever tells me not to talk to a guy again is if he hits on me, or does something to creep me out, in which case I was done talking to him anyway. My suggestion? Do what you please. He married you, he has to learn to live with YOU not what he wants YOU to be. Its part of a relationship, learning how to accept an not change. 6 years has taught me a lot about myself, and being able to stand up for myself and be ME is what has made this a healthy happy relationship, good luck!0 -
weird0
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No...we don't even follow each other here or on twitter either.0
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So next time we meet up, you're bringing the baby oil, right?
I'll bring the swing and all the leather stuff.
I hate sending messages on this thing. I can never tell if they're private or not.
This one is, right?
Fake edit: JOKES!
Remember you loaned the handcuffs to me, I should be done once I find the key I misplaced. My wife hates being stuck in the basement..0
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