Overweight and obese children!!!

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Replies

  • 21June
    21June Posts: 99
    Good suggestions! However, its interesting that you think its closely related to poverty...... I'm not saying this is always the case but there is a girl in my son's class. She is 8 and clearly obese and so are her Mum, Dad and brother. They seem to be eating out like nearly every weekend and do not appear to be living in poverty I can tell you!

    Yes, of course I do not mean that it every instance overweight people live in poverty. But there is a correlation. The problem with anecdote is that it doesn't tell us enough. We need the overall picture. Poverty is not the only cause by any means, and I didn't mean to make it seem like it was.
    I would like to take the time to introduce you to my children...
    monsters.jpg
    Right now I'm out of work, my husband doesn't get paid much, we live in low income housing, and can barely make rent...Pretty damn near to poverty...I feed my kids fruits and vegetables every day. There snacks are fruits...we eat whole grain breads, pastas...I do NOT want my kids to grow up the way I did. I also try to make sure they get outside for at least an hour 5x a week.
    :smile:
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    I didn't read through this entire thread, but I'm really disheartened and upset but how judgmental and just generally mean people can be in a place where I would think people would have some basic human empathy.

    First of all, obesity - in adults and children - is VERY closely linked with poverty. We have a government that subsidizes the least healthy foods, funneling tax dollars into protecting the industries that made foods which are unhealthy and arguably physically addictive. Marketing companies target children direction. Stop assuming everybody's circumstances are the same as your own. They are not.

    Also, CALLING KIDS FAT - in a forum where they can see it or not - DOES NOT MAKE THEM THINNER. It makes their food problems worse. I was not an overweight child and I can pinpoint the moment that my eating disorders started. I remember being weighed in class as a soul-crushing experience in the 4th grade, I remember being called "fat" as an insult amount children even though I was not, and I believed it. I had bulimia by high school. I was not an anomaly. Everyone in my generation has a terrible relationship with food.

    We need to teach our children to be active and to eat healthy plant-based foods. Absolutely. But if you cloak this in the language of bad parenting, the language of judgements, the language of SHAME for people's bodies, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Step back. If you REALLY want to address this problem, go to your local school and volunteer to run an athletics group for kids who feel uncomfortable in traditional athletics. Get these kids moving. Donate HEALTHY FOODS to a local food back, not your leftover ramen noodles.
    Good suggestions! However, its interesting that you think its closely related to poverty...... I'm not saying this is always the case but there is a girl in my son's class. She is 8 and clearly obese and so are her Mum, Dad and brother. They seem to be eating out like nearly every weekend and do not appear to be living in poverty I can tell you!

    So did you confront them about how they are abusing their child?
    No, not when the girl is in my son's class and they seem rather popular (not sure why but then I suppose its a question of people's lack of knowledge of the effects of being overweight /obese). Would you? I don't think that fellow Mums think it is child abuse!!!

    No I wouldn't confront them. I dont think its child abuse. Nobody can use the lack of knowledge of effects of being overweight/obese. It's drummed into us. Schools are trying to do more about it. Not sure if going about it the right way.
    Would you confront the parents if they were not so popular? that's what it seems you were saying.
    I feel sad the 8 yr old is already obese and if not sorted now I can just see her getting bigger.
  • 21June
    21June Posts: 99
    I didn't read through this entire thread, but I'm really disheartened and upset but how judgmental and just generally mean people can be in a place where I would think people would have some basic human empathy.

    First of all, obesity - in adults and children - is VERY closely linked with poverty. We have a government that subsidizes the least healthy foods, funneling tax dollars into protecting the industries that made foods which are unhealthy and arguably physically addictive. Marketing companies target children direction. Stop assuming everybody's circumstances are the same as your own. They are not.

    Also, CALLING KIDS FAT - in a forum where they can see it or not - DOES NOT MAKE THEM THINNER. It makes their food problems worse. I was not an overweight child and I can pinpoint the moment that my eating disorders started. I remember being weighed in class as a soul-crushing experience in the 4th grade, I remember being called "fat" as an insult amount children even though I was not, and I believed it. I had bulimia by high school. I was not an anomaly. Everyone in my generation has a terrible relationship with food.

    We need to teach our children to be active and to eat healthy plant-based foods. Absolutely. But if you cloak this in the language of bad parenting, the language of judgements, the language of SHAME for people's bodies, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Step back. If you REALLY want to address this problem, go to your local school and volunteer to run an athletics group for kids who feel uncomfortable in traditional athletics. Get these kids moving. Donate HEALTHY FOODS to a local food back, not your leftover ramen noodles.
    Good suggestions! However, its interesting that you think its closely related to poverty...... I'm not saying this is always the case but there is a girl in my son's class. She is 8 and clearly obese and so are her Mum, Dad and brother. They seem to be eating out like nearly every weekend and do not appear to be living in poverty I can tell you!

    So did you confront them about how they are abusing their child?
    No, not when the girl is in my son's class and they seem rather popular (not sure why but then I suppose its a question of people's lack of knowledge of the effects of being overweight /obese). Would you? I don't think that fellow Mums think it is child abuse!!!

    No I wouldn't confront them. I dont think its child abuse. Nobody can use the lack of knowledge of effects of being overweight/obese. It's drummed into us. Schools are trying to do more about it. Not sure if going about it the right way.
    Would you confront the parents if they were not so popular? that's what it seems you were saying.
    I feel sad the 8 yr old is already obese and if not sorted now I can just see her getting bigger.
    Apologies for misunderstanding your previous post; I thought you were referring to it as child abuse. I think we'll have agree to disagree on whether or not it drummed into us and schools doing more about it...... No, I would not confront the parents if they weren't so popular as its not just one kid! Yes, I have to agree with you that its is sad that she is obese but if only people would open their eyes eh!?!?!
  • regojess
    regojess Posts: 28 Member
    I'm told I wasn't always fat but as far as I can remember I have always been fat. I was the tall, fat girl in my school. I used to get teased by this boy back in 4th grade who was bigger than me! And now days when I see kids, especially kids under 10, who are extremely over weight I feel sad and I say to myself that when I have kids I will not let them get fat and have them go thru the same things I went thru. I want them to be at least moderately active and I will try to monitor what they eat and make sure to feed them plenty of fruits and veggies and limit their junk food intake. I also want to make sure and expose them to different kinds of foods so they have a varied taste palate. I want them to love food but not in the way that you just gorge yourself on it.

    As a parent you are responsible for your child in EVERY WAY until they are 18 and or on their own. But of course things don't always work out the way we would want them too.
  • i_am_losing_it
    i_am_losing_it Posts: 310 Member
    Sorry I clicked on this post now. Apparently a lot of you have all the answers and have done everything right in your life and your kids' lives. Kudos you win.

    I have 4 healthy weight kids and one who is obese, I don't have all the answers. I have tried and tried again to help my daughter, she is 15, she sneaks food, gets it from friends, neighbors etc., We don't keep sweets in the house or chips etc., because she will sneak them lie about it and eat them all. She over does everything she puts in her mouth, I can be out of her sight for a half an hour and in that time she will have eaten several meals worth of food. We have had her in about every sport out there and she has not really participated in any. If she is at home alone or anytime she can get into the kitchen without anyone else, she will eat everything in sight. One example is I took out a whole pack of chicken breast to make for dinner one night for the whole family and when I went to use it she had eaten all of it. This happens numerous times a week.

    If we go as a family to play or do some activity, she will literally sit down and not participate no matter what we try and do to get her to play. I make her walk or ride her bike to school and back, but it seems every day she asks a million people until she finds someone who will give her a ride.

    It is a very difficult struggle and it is heart wrenching and then I come on this post and hear all the people being so judgmental, when they have no idea what those families or the child is going through.
  • regojess
    regojess Posts: 28 Member
    Lovely Children!!! And proof that just cause your poor doesn't mean you are fat.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    In case anyone is interested - Ellyn Satter has a book about fostering healthy eating habits with kids, starting from when they are little. It's called "Child of Mine."

    Basically, she describes a "division of responsibility" , and you don't ever force a kid to eat.

    You decide, what, when and where they eat, and kids decide whether to eat and how much. (So, chicken, rice and broccoli, at the dinner table, 5:00 pm; up to the kid whether they take one bite, ten bites or non.) Always have something at the table the kid likes - something incorporated into the meal. (like if your kid likes pasta, but not sauce, fine to serve pasta separately. Kid can eat pasta sauce or not, no biggie.

    The idea is to avoid conflict over food. Kids want to establish autonomy; one way of exerting control is to eat or not eat. I matter of factly serve my daughter whatever we're eating. I have found that she is much more likely to try a new food if there is also something familiar on the table. But I don't push her to try "one more bite" or whatever. Sometimes she eats more than me, sometimes she eats nothing at all, and her weight is just fine. Children encouraged to eat more (underweight) will generally end up eating less , and overweight children encouraged to eat less will end up eating more.

    So what do you do when your kid is hungry an hour later if it's a day she decided not to eat?

    I don't force any of my children to eat. However, they will not get anything else either. I'm not trying to feed them liver and onions here. We're talking grilled chicken -- stuff that they've had before. If they don't want it, fine. Go play (when everyone else is done of course) but if you come back hungry in an hour, guess what they're getting? Dinner. Not a pb&j. My kids would eat that for every meal if that's the way it worked.

    She gets to wait until the next snack/meal - so if she doesn't eat lunch, it's fine, but she has to wait until snack time. Snacks are at fixed times, not just a bite here or there. (After nap for my daughter) I always offer my daughter milk before bed, too, so she won't go to bed on a totally empty stomach. I suppose in the evening I would offer up what had been served for dinner. but that hasn't happened to us yet.
  • putting kids on diets is just sick.
    your son is not overweight, it doesn`t matter if they`re a little on the chubby side when they`re still young and growing as long as that stops when they`re fully grown.
    I have two younger cousins that were both "fat" when they were 6-10, but it evened out and they?re now both VERY tall for their age(one of them is over 176 cm and is at a healthy weight, and she`s just 13 years old).

    Unless the child is obese and at risk to get diabetes I see no point in traumatizing them about weight loss, you`ll just end up ****ing up their body image. Just don`t let them eat junk and they`ll do fine. Let them grow for gods sake.
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 594 Member
    http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/films/main-films/Crisis



    XYnto.gif
    1/3 of the children in USA are overweight or even obese now.
    This is a huge change from even one generation ago.


    that link is a free way to watch one of the 4part series, "The Weight of The Nation" which focuses on the epidemic of obese children in USA.
    it's a HEALTH issue.

    One can teach a child how to eat properly without damaging the child's self esteem. Obese children are WAYYyyy more likely to become obese adults.


    btw, the other 3 parts of that film, about adults and weight loss, are fascinating, too.

    EDIT
    BTW, i am just only replying to the OP headline, not anyone in any ongoing discussion.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    putting kids on diets is just sick.
    your son is not overweight, it doesn`t matter if they`re a little on the chubby side when they`re still young and growing as long as that stops when they`re fully grown.
    I have two younger cousins that were both "fat" when they were 6-10, but it evened out and they?re now both VERY tall for their age(one of them is over 176 cm and is at a healthy weight, and she`s just 13 years old).

    Unless the child is obese and at risk to get diabetes I see no point in traumatizing them about weight loss, you`ll just end up ****ing up their body image. Just don`t let them eat junk and they`ll do fine. Let them grow for gods sake.

    Agreed - I read in Ellyn Satter's book that obese children are no more likely to end up overweight than thin kids. However, children whose parents are worried about their kids being overweight are more likely to end up overweight as a dults - even if those children were thin to begin with.
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 594 Member
    It's NOT true at all, that obese children do NOT face increased risk of becoming obese adults. ^



    It depends somewhat on the age the child is obese.
    apparently, it is less risk of adult obesity if child is very young,
    compared to an older child.

    //"About a third (26 to 41%) of obese preschool children were obese as adults, and about half (42 to 63%) of obese school-age children were obese as adults. For all studies and across all ages, the risk of adult obesity was at least twice as high for obese children as for nonobese children. "//

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091743583710145

    //"Obese children are more likely to become obese adults. Adult obesity is associated with a number of serious health conditions including heart disease, diabetes, and some cancers.
    If children are overweight, obesity in adulthood is likely to be more severe."//
    http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/childhood/basics.html



    DO watch the vid in my last comment about the 1/3 of overweight children (and rising). The actual doctors who did the Bogalusa study are in that film.


    ///" I was lucky enough to be able to work with data from probably the largest study of cardiovascular-disease risk factors done in the U.S.: the Bogalusa Heart Study. Bogalusa is a community about 60 mi (100 km) northeast of New Orleans. This is a small town — maybe the population is about 20,000 — and the study was started in the early 1970s, primarily by Dr. Gerald Berenson. We examined all the children in this town for lipids, blood pressure, weight and height, skin-fold thicknesses, smoking, alcohol consumption — anything we thought might be related to heart disease in adulthood. Of those children, the ones who had a body mass index (or BMI, a ratio of weight to height that's commonly used to define overweight) in the 95th percentile or higher when compared to a CDC reference population — as 18% of American children now have — about two-thirds grew up to be very obese as adults, with a BMI of 35 or higher.
    I think there's very suggestive evidence from the Bogalusa Heart Study to show that childhood obesity is related not just to weight, but also to poor health in adulthood. When the first children in the study became older adolescents, particularly when they began driving, there were some deaths, due to suicide, homicide and accidents, so we were able to look at the amount of atherosclerosis in their coronary arteries and aorta. And we published our first paper on this in the mid '80s. It was certainly the first paper to show that high levels of lipids — and obesity — were related to the very earliest stages of atherosclerosis.///:noway::noway:


    :noway: :noway: plaque in children's arteries???????????? :sad:

    and
    //"I think, though, that part of the reason for these discrepancies is that to obtain results from these long-term longitudinal studies, many have to use baseline measurements that were taken in the '50s and '60s. And kids who were examined back then were much, much thinner than kids are now. Even children who would have been considered relatively heavy then
    are not much heavier than average children now, at least in the U.S."//


    Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1735638,00.html#ixzz23TwlnAmF
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 594 Member
    //"Statistics show that children and adolescents who are obese have a 70% to 80% chance of becoming overweight or obese adults."//


    Guo, S.S. and W.C. Chumlea, Tracking of body mass index in children in relation to overweight in adulthood. Am J Clin Nutr, 1999. 70(1): p. 145S-8S.


    http://www.cdc.gov/features/obesityandkids/index.html#_ENREF_7


    as you can see, the risk varies depending on which researchers you read,
    but it's HARD to find ANY researcher who says obese children are NOT as risk to become obese adults.



    :indifferent:
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 594 Member
    Again, i think one can and should teach proper nutrtion to their children, without criticizing the child!!! or ruining their self esteem!!! I think all children should be taught proper nutrition,
    whether the child is thin or fat. I think this is an ongoing lesson, too, not a 'one-time mention and it's done' thing.
    I think if one doesn't put fattening foods and junk foods in their home, it will be probably be easier to keep children eating healhty foods.
    If there are no poptarts, sugar laden cereals, candy, ice creams, etc, in the house,
    while the child is developing their taste buds and habits,
    the kids think plums ARE candy. I know, cuz i did this, when i was raising my children. Just no junk, no colas, no crappy foods were in my house.

    My kids are both fit and healthy, slender at age 30 and 35, one runs marathons, the other is an athletic vegan,
    and both love fruits and veggies,
    cuz that is what they grew up on.

    If your fridge is only full of healthy fruits and veggies, when the chlid wanders into kitchen,
    the parent does not have to worry about WHAT the child is eating. There just won't be any arguments about "No ice cream before dinner", cuz, there is no ice cream in there. My kids just didn't know any different, this was all they knew, from birth on.

    AND there is no competition for the child's att'n or cravings. The child LEARNS to love fruits and veggies. It's hard for a 10 year old to want an apple,
    if there are ice cream and junk foods and cookies also nearby.
    Remove those type of items from the kitchen, and the apples will begin to become appealing to children, especially if the child is raised on those items, all along, from the get-go.

    Teaching a child how to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, CAN be done without causing psychological damage.
    Same as when we teach them how to use shampoo, or how to do their laundry,
    it is not saying "you are filthy!"
    it is saying "This is how we do it."
    Do these same people think we should not teach children how to use shampoo or else, they will have self esteem issues about their hair?
    Life skills are part of parenting, imo.
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    Sorry I clicked on this post now. Apparently a lot of you have all the answers and have done everything right in your life and your kids' lives. Kudos you win.

    I have 4 healthy weight kids and one who is obese, I don't have all the answers. I have tried and tried again to help my daughter, she is 15, she sneaks food, gets it from friends, neighbors etc., We don't keep sweets in the house or chips etc., because she will sneak them lie about it and eat them all. She over does everything she puts in her mouth, I can be out of her sight for a half an hour and in that time she will have eaten several meals worth of food. We have had her in about every sport out there and she has not really participated in any. If she is at home alone or anytime she can get into the kitchen without anyone else, she will eat everything in sight. One example is I took out a whole pack of chicken breast to make for dinner one night for the whole family and when I went to use it she had eaten all of it. This happens numerous times a week.

    If we go as a family to play or do some activity, she will literally sit down and not participate no matter what we try and do to get her to play. I make her walk or ride her bike to school and back, but it seems every day she asks a million people until she finds someone who will give her a ride.

    It is a very difficult struggle and it is heart wrenching and then I come on this post and hear all the people being so judgmental, when they have no idea what those families or the child is going through.

    Have you had any tests done to see why she is constantly wanting to over-eat? Has she had any counselling it may help? It does seem like such a struggle.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    IF THEY DID NOT COME FROM YOUR LOINS,THEN M.Y.O.B.

    Jus sayin'

    Bollocks, if you cant be a responsible parent then boo-hoo on whoever points it out. Grow up. Giving an extreme example here, but say you abuse your child, beat them, whatever....people should just butt out because they came from YOUR vagina, not theirs?
  • kazhowe
    kazhowe Posts: 340 Member
    It seems to me that not only do kids seem to spend their time in front of computers or TV's - so not a lot of physical activity .... but also that parents are reluctant to deny their children anything that they want so feed them an endless stream of snacks, sweets and convenience and fast food. Getting back to proper home cooked meals and making the other things an occasional treat would go a long way to keeping kids leaner and fitter.
  • MessyLittlePanda
    MessyLittlePanda Posts: 213 Member
    IF THEY DID NOT COME FROM YOUR LOINS,THEN M.Y.O.B.

    Jus sayin'

    Bollocks, if you cant be a responsible parent then boo-hoo on whoever points it out. Grow up. Giving an extreme example here, but say you abuse your child, beat them, whatever....people should just butt out because they came from YOUR vagina, not theirs?

    Oh yeah, this always makes me pmsl. By this logic, then everyone who biologically produces a child (male or female) would be a great parent, and would be imbued with magical parenting wisdom by the act of giving birth.

    So then, there would be no social services, no need for foster or adoptive parents, or care homes, or child protection plans to protect kids, in the majority of cases, from their OWN PARENTS. If that were indeed true, that would be a nice world to live in. And of course, adoptive and foster parents or step parents could not possibly EVER be better carers than the biological ones :yawn:

    I may not have my own kids, but professional experience tells me that the world described above aint how it is. And you know what, I'll stick my head above the parapet and say yes, sometimes people without kids are the better parents in a way. Because they have the good sense NOT to have kids when they know they couldn't cope with them, couldn't afford them, or couldn't care for them properly. I've worked with plenty of people where all of the above were the case, and they had the kids anyway.

    Frequently those parents are actually the most bloody clueless ones of the lot. But they're usually the ones shouting loudest from the rooftops about how "they're my kids and I'll do what I want with them, because they're mine". So of course, because they came from someone else's vagina, we should just let them alone if they're born addicted to smack, being abused, neglected, not receiving medical treatment for their illnesses, not being educated or their bodies being sold to adult men to pay for their parent's drug addiction.

    Newsflash. Your kids do not belong to you just because they came from you. They are not possessions to do with what you want. The care of them is entrusted to you, to help them become healthy adults, responsible citizens etc and go off on their own life journey. Preferably without major psychological scarring, emotional trauma, or preventable health problems.

    So, if you're a parent and your kids are biologically yours and everything is happy days, then count your blessings and pat yourself on the back. But spare a thought for those kids who are stuck with parents who didn't get the visit from the magical unicorn of parental knowledge and wisdom, and whose lives suck as a result.
  • Peta22
    Peta22 Posts: 377 Member
    When I was a kid, we never had crap in the house. If you wanted a snack you had milk, fruit, vegetables, yogurt, cottage cheese, boiled eggs, whole wheat bread and peanut butter...stuff like that. Occasionally my mom would bake cookies, but she'd never buy those packaged garbage cookies from the store. Soda was a special occasion thing - something served at holiday parties only. No sugar cereals either. Kids eat what they're trained. If parents bring crap into the home, kids will eat it and learn to love it. Poor parenting in my opinion.

    Lol... Wow - you were lucky! If we wanted anything outside of breakfast, lunch or dinner, it was Apples or Oranges... They were the ONLY options! ... Not surprising that I rarely touch either these days! :D We were incredibly active though - we were out of the house as much as possible otherwise Mum would put us to work! Lol... So we lived in the local bushland riding bikes, building treehouses, daming the creek ect from dawn to dusk :D

    I don't have kids but I must admit to being judgemental towards parents whenever I see fat kids but then I guess its a different world now where time and money constraits lead to unhealhy lifestyles and kids can't roam as freely due to the increased crime ect.. I don't envy parents - its a job I don't ever want!
  • jen10st
    jen10st Posts: 325 Member
    I don't have kids myself but do have 9 nieces and nephews, not one of them is overweight because they eat good healthy food and have the occasional treat. It all comes down to good parenting.
    Nobody is born with a 'sweet tooth' it gets given to us with the first taste of sugar.
  • necoates77
    necoates77 Posts: 2 Member
    The older I get and the more evidence i see I truly beleive that obesity is a form of malnutrition. The pre packeged foods and junk being put on store shelves is basically empty calories devoid of actual nutrition.

    When these empty calories are consumed they do not satisfy the nutrition the body actually needs and the body knows this, so it tells the brain you need to eat more, when all that is available is more empty calories the empty useless calories build and build and the whole time the body isnt getting what it needs which leads to more and more health problems and the hunger is never satiated.

    All I have done is cut sugar out of my diet, and tried to get the majority of my calories from as fresh a source as I can, ie fresh veggies fruits and no packaged anything. I've dropped 40 pounds in the last six months with in my opinion very little effort.
  • AthenaErr
    AthenaErr Posts: 278 Member
    I live in Scotland and find I am regularly shocked by the crap I see people feeding their children. Many children here are overweight - tantamount to child neglect in my book.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    I don't know, I have mixed feelings. Of course parents have to take responsibility and sometimes with overweight kids they have neglected to do this, or are just very ill informed. BUT, I was an overweight child, and my family did try to help, but even though I was a kid I still had my own mind and autonomy and I found ways to overeat. I think when the child is very young it is hard not to solely blame the parent, but even from quite young kids, they are able to sneak in the cupboards (i did!) which is why it gets extreme like putting locks on. Kids can be clever and find ways. By the time they are going to school alone, it gets very hard to control and you can't really restrict a child's entire freedom.

    I think also parents find it hard to see their child as overweight. My mother was like that, she thinks I was too perfect, haha! I think parents have to set a good example (by that I do NOT mean overweight people are bad parents though), give the child access to healthy food and exercise and try and do what they can, but I do think it is hard if the child really seems to have a big urge to eat.
    xxxx
  • ericgAU
    ericgAU Posts: 271
    As if children dont have enough to contend with trying to fit in without having to deal with weight issues. This is a bit extreme perhaps for some of you, but I truly believe that parents are commiting child abuse by allowing them to become obese. There is simply no excuse for it and its obvious that they are not doing the one thing that they should and thats parenting!! It absolutely isnt a surprise to see an overweight adult closely followed by overweight children. Very sad indeed.
  • My 14 yr old daughter is overweight- 5'9 and about 200lbs right now. We couldn't figure out what was going on- I need to lose weight but we don't have a lot of junk in our house and what junk we do have i keep in my room in a locked box because my daughter used to binge eat in the middle of the night (side affect of some meds she was on for ADHD). I would make and send my daughters lunch to school with her (school food here is crap), all stuff she likes but healthy foods. I found out in June that a friend of hers would bring in huge amount of candy and junk food every day (7-8 candy bags, bags of chips, 6 pack of soda etc) and share it with her friends. My daughter was eating 2 candy bars, drinking 2 sodas and eating handfuls of chips ALONG with her lunch every day. In the month and a half since I have found out my daughter has dropped 10lbs..... I feel like a complete failure as a parent for her being as big as she is yet there is really NOTHING I can do to keep her from eating all this junk her friend brings to school. BTW last Sept she was 5'7 and weighed 160. On the flip side of that my son is 8 yrs old 4'4 and 64lbs- which puts him right where he should be.

    My daughter also doesn't get to sit in front of the tv or a computer all day- I make both of my kids spend as much time outside as the weather allows. I limit video games ta a few hours a week (usually only when we are in the car or after dark) there is NO tv allowed between 10Am and 8PM during summer time, she also doesn't have a cell phone to sit and text her friends all day long- she will sit and read outside or draw for hours if my attention is on something else and I don't catch her. She loves to walk to the library and does so several times a week as well as walks to the store if I need something (each only a 1/4 to 1/3 mile round trip), and will spend hours playing in the pool.

    Not every child who is overweight or obese is the parents fault- I hate being overweight and have tried very hard to provide good, healthy food for my children. I know what it feels like to be "skinny" and what it feels like to be "fat" (I am at my heaviest ever yet when I was 17 I was only 125).

    On the flip side of this coin I do know parents who feed their kids crap, an old neighbor has a child who is about 4 and weighs 140lbs- the mom and grandma are quite heavy (both over 350 and less than 5'4), so I do know why people get angry at the parents of kids who are overweight. All I am trying to say is to not judge the parents by the kids weight- there may be factors you don't know. Now kids with horrible manners... judge the parents (as long as it isn't the horrible teen years when kids to whatever they can to make their parents look bad).
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    This is what I mean. You definitely aren't a failure MP, you are doing everything you can. It sounds like the meds make it hard for her to control eating and when a child is 14, they have a lot of independence and parents can't control everything. It is hard not to be shocked seeing an overweight child but I think sometimes it is more comlicated than it seems.
  • ericgAU
    ericgAU Posts: 271
    My daughter was eating 2 candy bars, drinking 2 sodas and eating handfuls of chips ALONG with her lunch every day. In the month and a half since I have found out my daughter has dropped 10lbs..... I feel like a complete failure as a parent for her being as big as she is yet there is really NOTHING I can do to keep her from eating all this junk her friend brings to school. BTW last Sept she was 5'7 and weighed 160. On the flip side of that my son is 8 yrs old 4'4 and 64lbs- which puts him right where he should be.

    Have you spoken to the school about this? Surely by doing so they could then contact the parents of this child? Failing that tell your daughter to find some new friends....
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    My daughter was eating 2 candy bars, drinking 2 sodas and eating handfuls of chips ALONG with her lunch every day. In the month and a half since I have found out my daughter has dropped 10lbs..... I feel like a complete failure as a parent for her being as big as she is yet there is really NOTHING I can do to keep her from eating all this junk her friend brings to school. BTW last Sept she was 5'7 and weighed 160. On the flip side of that my son is 8 yrs old 4'4 and 64lbs- which puts him right where he should be.

    Have you spoken to the school about this? Surely by doing so they could then contact the parents of this child? Failing that tell your daughter to find some new friends....

    Yeh, she's going to find some new friends because her mother told her to!
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
    putting kids on diets is just sick.
    your son is not overweight, it doesn`t matter if they`re a little on the chubby side when they`re still young and growing as long as that stops when they`re fully grown.

    What a load of rubbish. We now see levels of paediatric obesity that cause joint and bone deformities such as tibia vara which are incredibly complicated and painful to correct. how can you say that's not a problem, when kids get so fat at such a young age that their little growing legs are bending in places they shouldn't because of the weight they carry????? :explode:
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
    It's beyond me how anyone can look at this list of risk factors associated with paediatric obsity and not consider them a problem.

    http://www.ajronline.org/content/188/4/1118.full