Being Black
What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx
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I suppose you are busy trying to just be 'a person' and other people are busy trying to promote their agenda.
If you are gay you are supposed to promote it, if you are black you must promote all things black, women must support women's rights, etc.
Unless you are comfortable being who you are and are not looking to blame others and take from others to make you whole.
If you are strong, secure, independent, then you can do whatever you want and you don't have to bow down to others who accuse you of not being black enough.
As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.0 -
It's all stereotypes. It sucks that they are out there. Whoever told you that you're "rubbish at being black" is just someone who is being stereotypical. He or she is probably not very diverse. A lot of people are really caught up in their background or their race or something like that and they try and live out those stereotypes as much as they can.
I mean, think about it, there are stereotypes for everything. One that isn't negative that pops out at me is that Asians are often perceived as being really smart. So if there was a dumb person who happened to be Asian, that would be another occasion where someone might say they are rubbish at being Asian.
So it's just kind of something like that.
This kind of thing happens a lot more in small towns. Where I grew up, it was ONLY white people (I'm white too) so I don't think I even saw an Asian or black person for the first 15 years of my life (except on TV lol). But now that I live in a big city, I have friends of many different races and colours and it just isn't a big deal. People don't act black or act white or all that. People are just people.0 -
Yeah. I am gay too as it happens! I see what you mean about bad thing of being white straight male is not being allowed to promote anything. The good thing of it though is not HAVING to, because I don't think I am up to representing anyone, I am just trying to do a good job of being one individual! I don't mean to let any side down, I don't even know I am on a side. I don't think I even am able to express what I mean, I just want to be happy and good.0
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If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.0
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If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.
Amen. I dont care what your skin color is, I care about how people treat people.0 -
I can relate to this. I have always been told that I "talk like a White girl." My response is always, "Am I supposed to speak sone other way?" I grew up in a predominantly Caucasian area; however, it is not tbe reason why I speak "properly." My mother was always the one correcting my English as a child and it became habitual. I'm not "trying to be White" as some of my Black friends have put it - I'm just being me. Besides my background is diverse.0
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I can relate to this. I have always been told that I "talk like a White girl." My response is always, "Am I supposed to speak sone other way?" I grew up in a predominantly Caucasian area; however, it is not tbe reason why I speak "properly." My mother was always the one correcting my English as a child and it became habitual. I'm not "trying to be White" as some of my Black friends have put it - I'm just being me. Besides my background is diverse.
YES! There is a time and place for slang and dialect but being able to talk standard english is a real life skill, in order to communicate with all kinds of people (not just your own social/racial group) and for contexts like professionally or academically. To say standard english is just for white people does black people a disservice, as if we aren't intelligent and have no place in professional/academic and mixed parts of society! I don't see why people have to be stereotypical, people can do what they want, regardless of race or anything else.
I think what I was feeling is that I was torn between two things. In a way I wish I had more black friends (as well as white friends) but then I feel mean to the friends I have. I experience racism sometimes but I on't usually feel particularly oppressed if it makes sense, which is good for me, but people saying I should open my eyes and get involved in politics and social justice to be good black person. Oh my god, I see what they mean, I want to show solidarity and do my bit whatever that is, but I don't want to reject my life and the people in it, they are really great and never did bad by me, serious. Sorry, rambling. xxxxx0 -
In true honesty whether you are black or white it is important to stay healthy because when you're overweight it will affect anybody or any race! So lets all stick together on being healthy and in shape and hopefully that will keep any negative thoughts away!0
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I've experienced the same thing. From my earliest memory I can remember my cousins and family teasing me about the way I acted, saying I'm trying to be "white", when in fact I was just being me. Because of the way I speak, some people are like "your stuck up and a snob and trying to be white", but my Mum and Dad always corrected me to speak correct english (and they're Jamaican) and just to be who I am. Because I listen to different types of music, enjoy eating and cooking different types of cuisine and going travelling and just trying to get the best out of life, I am therefore labelled as a "coconut or bounty" because of this and it's because I just have an open mind and rather than living a sheltered exsistance, I want to experience everything and anything and be friends with whoever, just so long as they have a good heart and I get on with them. You shouldn't worry about others' who want to try and catergorise you or make you feel small, because there the ones who are missing out on so many oppurtunities and experiences in life, and that's one thing I learnt after spending most of my life trying to please others.0
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It doesn't matter. God made you as you are and He loves you.0
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I'm a straight white female so haven't really experienced the race or sexuality issue myself, though I have white, black and asian friends as well as straight and gay friends and I love them for who they are not what they are. I just wanted to say that you seem like a really genuine lovely guy and it's refreshing to hear people just wanting to be nice individuals rather than promoting an agenda or behaving the way they feel they're expected to xxx0
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If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.
Absolutely....carry on being a good person..... :bigsmile:0 -
Yeah. I am gay too as it happens! I see what you mean about bad thing of being white straight male is not being allowed to promote anything. The good thing of it though is not HAVING to, because I don't think I am up to representing anyone, I am just trying to do a good job of being one individual! I don't mean to let any side down, I don't even know I am on a side. I don't think I even am able to express what I mean, I just want to be happy and good.
And good for you!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:
We all get it in some shape or form from folk with huge chips on their shoulder (apologies if this fails to translate well into American English... a chip on the shoulder indicates a psychological "hangup" of some sort not walking around with fries on your back!!).
I know women who define themselves as "feminists" for instance and who think they can go around telling other women how they should conduct themselves.
These people have an agenda that focuses on changing the world so much, they often don't take much time to look at themselves.
Be happy, be you.0 -
Be yourself. We are products of our environment. If you have grown up in a predominantly white neighborhood then you would tend to behave, speak etc like your counterparts. There are Caucasians that have grown up in a predominantly black neighborhood and are products of their environment.
What is acting black? What is acting white? There is no definition of the two. People are people and you should just be yourself.
Have a great day!0 -
Feminists have it right, I mean, gender equality is to aim for! But telling other women how to behave is not feminism. I do think some groups are still not equal in society, even though progress is being made- like, people of colour, gay people, transgender people etc. and it is right to fight for equality and work towards this, all of us as allies. But I do not see how calling people for 'acting white'
OMG, charl, people who call you a bounty or coconut, they are nearly as bad s someone who says racist things! Taking that to it's conclusion, all black people should act a certain way, and white people another (saying it is cultural approriation for white people/non black people of colour to like things from other cultures), and that means cultural seperatism, and I beleive that is what many years of civil rights movement was trying to get away from!
xxx0 -
Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.0
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Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.
May I ask a little about what this means? Just trying to get more insight.
It's a tricky one, like I think black people got a right to learn about our history and celebrate our culture, and to talk openly about issues like oppression and racism, without being made to feel bad for making some white people uncomfortble. I think people have a right to find their own identity without other people denying it (I don't like when people say things like 'I don't even see you as black'). But I don't think it is healthy for this to be at the exclusion of everything else. I think with understanding and love of humanity we can be better off for living together.0 -
what is ANYBODY any more?
I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.0 -
what I am saying is that a lot of my friends are black. I never refer to them as my "black friends". They are simply my friends.Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.
May I ask a little about what this means? Just trying to get more insight.
It's a tricky one, like I think black people got a right to learn about our history and celebrate our culture, and to talk openly about issues like oppression and racism, without being made to feel bad for making some white people uncomfortble. I think people have a right to find their own identity without other people denying it (I don't like when people say things like 'I don't even see you as black'). But I don't think it is healthy for this to be at the exclusion of everything else. I think with understanding and love of humanity we can be better off for living together.0 -
what is ANYBODY any more?
I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.
This!0 -
what is ANYBODY any more?
I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.
I agree. But if you aren't white or look white sometimes it is harder for other people not to see it as a big part of your identity, like I suppose people sometimes see you as the black one, when it is a white majority. I suppose part of why I posted this was thinking about how for white people they don't need much to think about racial identity but I suppose it can be a thing you have to think about, through the way others view you, when you are black. It is hard to avoid the issue of race sometimes. Sorry, I hope I am not being horrible, I just thinking lots of things.
I see what you mean icemann
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Be yourself. We are products of our environment. If you have grown up in a predominantly white neighborhood then you would tend to behave, speak etc like your counterparts. There are Caucasians that have grown up in a predominantly black neighborhood and are products of their environment.
What is acting black? What is acting white? There is no definition of the two. People are people and you should just be yourself.
Have a great day!
Yeah.. I would like to know that too.... When someone is telling you , that you're acting white because you speak correctly, what does it tell you about this person ? lol. My answer would be " and you're acting ignorant ", Don't worry lol When people need transplants or blood transfusions I don't think they care what color of skin donor had, and that is why I don't understand why there is so much hate and racism out there.... We all bleed red,,,,0 -
What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx
I think you sound like a sensible person. I don't going around thinking "I'm white", so why on earth should you be expected to think about being black or mixed race or whatever. Everyone's got a mixture of backgrounds. You're just you.0 -
If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.
^^THIS!!
I don't care if you are purple or green or rainbow colored. Be who you are because that's what we are all best at doing!!0 -
^^^^^^ YES! Like when people complain about black and asian doctors. Would they complain if they woke up in intensive care to find a non white doctor saved their life? OMG!
xxx0 -
what is ANYBODY any more?
I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.
I agree. But if you aren't white or look white sometimes it is harder for other people not to see it as a big part of your identity, like I suppose people sometimes see you as the black one, when it is a white majority. I suppose part of why I posted this was thinking about how for white people they don't need much to think about racial identity but I suppose it can be a thing you have to think about, through the way others view you, when you are black. It is hard to avoid the issue of race sometimes. Sorry, I hope I am not being horrible, I just thinking lots of things.
I see what you mean icemann
Yeah, I get that. Look at our president even. He's White as much as he's Black yet his tone of skin determines his 'label'. Just freakin stupid thing about humans.
And trust me - I look white...and while living in South East Alabama, I had to think about racial identity. Where my likes, and tone, and vibe more-closely identifies with folks of colour, I'd get crazy looks for talking to folks outside my skin tone.
Crazy looks from both of the major ethnic groups around me. 0 -
what is ANYBODY any more?
I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.
And this! I am English, Welsh, Asian, Gypsy. There might be some African in there from the 17th century, no one's sure. I have blonde hair and blue eyes, but my son looks Asian and has Mongolian blue spot.
We're all from Africa if you go back far enough.0 -
Roxy hit the nail on the head! Be yourself!! Don't worry about what anyone else says.0
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Yeah. I am gay too as it happens! I see what you mean about bad thing of being white straight male is not being allowed to promote anything. The good thing of it though is not HAVING to, because I don't think I am up to representing anyone, I am just trying to do a good job of being one individual! I don't mean to let any side down, I don't even know I am on a side. I don't think I even am able to express what I mean, I just want to be happy and good.
And good for you!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:
We all get it in some shape or form from folk with huge chips on their shoulder (apologies if this fails to translate well into American English... a chip on the shoulder indicates a psychological "hangup" of some sort not walking around with fries on your back!!).
I know women who define themselves as "feminists" for instance and who think they can go around telling other women how they should conduct themselves.
These people have an agenda that focuses on changing the world so much, they often don't take much time to look at themselves.
Be happy, be you.
Yep - absolutely agree!
I'm very fortunate that I never experienced any type of racism growing up or even well into my 30's... It wasn't until my husbnd and I worked overseas (won't say where because I don't wish to be accused of generalising and bad mouthing a country) and we were SHOCKED at the blatant and down right disgusting racism exhibited by almost every person we met from this particular country. I honestly never realised how bad it could be... We were so sad to see it!
People are people no matter what their skin colour, gender, sexual preference or background is... Judge a person on who they are as a person and how they behave,.. Thats all there is to it in my mind!0 -
what is ANYBODY any more?
I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.
This. Nor should it be anyone's.0
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