Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK!! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE THE ONLY PART I HATED WAS WAITING AT THE DMV AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE EVERYTHING ELSE IS SIMPLE

Did you take off work to get the DMV and Social Security card done? It does cost money if you consider you have to take time off your job. Here in my state you also have to petition the court and I don't think you can do it through the mail. More time off work.

I think if you have children, you can keep it if you want, but if you're childless, I would be inclined to go back to my old name.

You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.

Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.

Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.

This is ridiculous. Either explain where the last name came from or stop arguing. Unless the father isn't in the picture, the father and mother have to agree as to the name on the birth certificate.

If there were kids involved I would keep the name!! As a kid from seporated parents my mum changed back to her maiden name and since the age of 12 I have either been married or not related to my own mum in the eyes of people we initially met!! Did my mean in no end!!

I had a colleague who has kept her ex-husband's name because it was how she was known professionally.

I also think the term "disrespect" is also used far too inappropriately and keeping a name albeit that of your ex is not disrespectful, after all, if your children also have the same surname it causes less confusion.

A name is just a name, although it can also be a sense of identity, but just because you keep the name of an ex-partner/husband or whatever doesn't necessarily mean there's any emotional attachment to the ex, maybe you just like the sound of the name.

I am divorced and I kept my husband's surname because I am a journalist and I made my name with my married surname. All my portfolio would no longer be associated with me were anyone to search for it under my maiden name.

Plus it's expensive and time-consuming to change all the documents concerned, and money is in short supply after a divorce, especially when you're a journalist!

Believe me, I'd like to go back to my maiden name - I was the last of the family with my Dad's surname. I changed it on Facebook, as searches bring me up for both names and it's a sufficient declaration of who I am. I also have email accounts in both names.

Any future partner would only know me with this surname and would never meet my ex, so that side would never be an issue. Were I to marry again... I don't know, but it's a pretty unlikely scenario.

I know who I am and that's all that matters.

I didn't choose to go back to my maiden name when I got divorced. I was well know right around the country (in my particular field of work) and had no desire to explain to everybody that "no, I didn't just get married, I got divorced".

I DID take my new husband's name when I got married for a second time - mostly because I didn't choose to continue to use the name of my ex husband when i had a new husband.

It was entirely my choice and I'm happy for any other woman to make the choice that suits her, for her own reasons. It's none of my business what someone else does in their life.

You're making several assumptions here. I said "my parents gave me this name," I never said it was passed down from my father.

Was your mothers last name the same as your fathers? If it was then guess what? Your name has been passed down by your father.

Says who. There's no rule the on the birth certificate you have to use the father's last name.

This is ridiculous. Either explain where the last name came from or stop arguing. Unless the father isn't in the picture, the father and mother have to agree as to the name on the birth certificate.

Here in NS in 2006 (when I had my last child) the hospital's rule was the child was automatically given the mother's last name and if you aren't married we then had to go through a legal process to change the child's last name to a hyphenated name for both mine and their father's. It was months of paperwork and had cost us a small fortune in fees for having documents witnessed by a justice of the peace.

I would keep my his last name because I have a kid with him, but if I remarried I wouldn't I tihnk it is disrespectful to do that and remarry. But I see why women who have kids keep the name and there is nothing wrong with that.

Ha I kept my daughter's last name- better for her and I had made a name for myself with her last name- the x has nothing to do with my decision :drinker:

Very interesting responses. I wish more men would way in. MEN, WHERE ARE YOU?????

I think I now have a better understanding of the original question.
lol

Right now I still hvae my ex's name. I will contiune to do so until I get remarried. My fiance and I agreed this was the best thing for my very young children.
I would not keep my ex's name once we are married. But, at that point the different name thing will make more sense to them.

A male friend took her last name, and when they eventually divorced, he kept it.

IIRC, he mentioned that changing his last name due to marriage was quite difficult at the time.

Oh and BTW....it is a ROYAL pain in the *kitten* to change your name. I'm sure that's why many don't change it.

my ex wives (been married twice) both have my last name. And so do all my kids. True I liked them better before they took my last name..lol..but I really dont have a problem with them doing that. it's not out of love its out of ninja I went thru hell and back with you and i changed my identity for you well since you are gone i am keeping a reminder..lol. Also for insurance purposes its easier.

I kept mine after the divorce for the kids. However when I got remarried I took his name.