Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

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Replies

  • c_porcayo
    c_porcayo Posts: 60
    Maybe he lacks self confidence because he gained so much weight? or maybe getting out of the army was a lot for him..... Try to encourage him to work out not point the finger in whos right or wrong. Men are men, they are arrogant and stubborn. But us women we wear the pants! Its all about control, so I would say one step at a time, try to get him into it. Do things he likes, sometimes guys need more then just a naked body in front of them. Ive seen many online or in person half naked or naked guys and that really doesn't do it for me.... Not all guys (suprisingly) are just readyt o go! Just saying, but good luck regardless
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    Lots of sex and all the Starbucks I can drink ... I just came a little
  • Beleg
    Beleg Posts: 227 Member
    I wish my wife would be like that. Before I started eating better and exercising I was lucky if I could last 5 mins without feeling like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. So she just stopped because she was afraid I would hurt myself which I totally understand I am not healthy at the moment. But 1 day last week and was able to get her and we lasted for 45 mins and she was super supportive and was excited about the extra stamina and that i didn't feel like i was going to die. But since then its like I don't exist :(
  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
    I'll be honest my sex drive has gone through the roof now im losing weight and exercising! like a rabbit lol
  • ladydragon1951
    ladydragon1951 Posts: 8 Member
    Ever try viagra or cialis???
  • ambitious01
    ambitious01 Posts: 209 Member
    What you have to do is say that it's cuddle time.
    It's not actually cuddle time.
    Then you shush him and tell him that it will all be over soon.

    :laugh: I like your style.



    lmao. That is hilarious :laugh:
  • Stephanie_Autry
    Stephanie_Autry Posts: 228 Member
    LOL so already tried it his exact words "Thats Nice"

    Do nothing at all.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    What you have to do is say that it's cuddle time.
    It's not actually cuddle time.
    Then you shush him and tell him that it will all be over soon.



    No offence, but if a man said that on here, there would be uproar......


    I know it was a joke, but just saying.


    On the husband topic, just ask him why. Try and talk to him :)

    I agree. Communication is key. Talk to him to find out what's up. And give him a break on his weight gain. I'm sure he already knows. Bothering him about it can't be making him feel too good about himself.
  • Shannota
    Shannota Posts: 308 Member
    Man, I'm looking forward to getting a husban, this is so disappointing. Please tell me this is not what I have to look forward to; might need to keep my options open.

    Don't worry, read this to my hubby and he said that if I stood in front of the tv beggin, we wouldn't make it to the bedroom...assuming our son was elsewhere...
  • shadesofjade77
    shadesofjade77 Posts: 18
    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.
  • ladydragon1951
    ladydragon1951 Posts: 8 Member
    Seriously depending on how old your husband is he might have low T. It would be advisable for you to make a doctors appointment for him. Make sure you go with him and ask the doctor about this even if he won't. You need to do this not only for you but for your husband as well.
  • dbdimples58
    dbdimples58 Posts: 5
    Maybe you need to sit down and read "50 shades of Grey" to him? Change things up a bit???? Just sayin'!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Girl FR me let's talk.:wink::flowerforyou:
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
    You didn't know that as soon as you get married, sex becomes non-existent?

    Have fun, stay single.
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    Maybe he lacks self confidence because he gained so much weight? or maybe getting out of the army was a lot for him..... Try to encourage him to work out not point the finger in whos right or wrong. Men are men, they are arrogant and stubborn. But us women we wear the pants! Its all about control, so I would say one step at a time, try to get him into it. Do things he likes, sometimes guys need more then just a naked body in front of them. Ive seen many online or in person half naked or naked guys and that really doesn't do it for me.... Not all guys (suprisingly) are just readyt o go! Just saying, but good luck regardless

    I think this makes sense. Stress, lacking confidence, etc... all reasons he may be less willing than usual. Wish I could give some advice. Good luck!
  • Stephanie_Autry
    Stephanie_Autry Posts: 228 Member
    You didn't know that as soon as you get married, sex becomes non-existent?

    Have fun, stay single.

    Wait- I will never be that way. Nope never!
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    You didn't know that as soon as you get married, sex becomes non-existent?

    Have fun, stay single.

    Wait- I will never be that way. Nope never!

    LOL nope. thankfully not every marriage is that way. my husband and i are multiple times a day... just about every day. ;)
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    I don't think that telling him he's fat and lazy is going to help your cause....
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    When relationships I've been in in the past weren't giving me the sexual attention I needed, I'd tell them outright that I needed more than they were giving me and I wanted an open relationship so I could get it without putting demands they obviously didn't want to fulfill on them.

    Though it's worked for me in the past, I can't say I'd recommend it in a married relationship; sometimes the way it's worked for me is them getting butthurt about it and leaving me to my own resources.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Exercising increases your libido dramatically. If he's gaining weight and not doing his "husbandly duty", then you need to get him to join you in eating better and working out. Once he starts pumping some aggression back into himself, he'll start pumping some into you. :-)
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
    I know you asked for no negativity but you're being a jerk.. I'm sorry
  • MrDangerSass
    MrDangerSass Posts: 99
    Maybe he lacks self confidence because he gained so much weight? or maybe getting out of the army was a lot for him..... Try to encourage him to work out not point the finger in whos right or wrong. Men are men, they are arrogant and stubborn. But us women we wear the pants! Its all about control, so I would say one step at a time, try to get him into it. Do things he likes, sometimes guys need more then just a naked body in front of them. Ive seen many online or in person half naked or naked guys and that really doesn't do it for me.... Not all guys (suprisingly) are just readyt o go! Just saying, but good luck regardless

    ^agree...be patient and keep communicating. It sounds like you're finally taking control of your body and health and you are reaping those rewards. He's not in the same place as you are at this point. Don't have enough info as to why. Keep looking for those little things you do or did together and be lightly seductive and be patient...believe it or not, sometimes the stronger the advance the more standoffish he may become. I am pretty confident the challenge you are dealing with has less to do with you (you look great btw) than it does with where he is at and whatever he is dealing with (or likely not dealing with). This is coming from a husband who was guilty of the same at one point and has since made it his first motivation to never be there again.
  • perdie7
    perdie7 Posts: 266 Member
    bump
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    also look the people complaining about their SO not putting out for sex..thats so disgusting I can't stand it. I would NEVER complain about my boyfriend or parents to random people. especially not on a public forum. it's unbelieveably disrespectful. Unless they're actually abusing you and it's a cry for help then stop.
  • flaricew
    flaricew Posts: 1
    Do you and your husband go on any dates or have you since he got out of the army? IIf not, see about doing that..Get out, Dress up, look pretty-do something together.. However, to me, it doesnt sound like its an issue of you losing weight or him not being interested in sex with you anymore, its sounds more like there's an underlying issue he's having-maybe emotional, esteem, maybe miss being in the service, etc...

    I would say don't give up on him. Talk to him and ask what can be done to make some spark happen between you two! Find out what would turn him own (now) or what can you do to help him-(if its something else)..

    However, good luck!!
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    You are doing positive things. Keep doing that.
    Don't get all worked up over him.
    Be happy!
    Let him see you staying positive.
    He will want to join in, eventually!
    Don't talk about him to your friends.
    Keep your private intimacy, private.
    He will respect that, and you.
    Love him.
  • gguynes
    gguynes Posts: 20
    Someone else said it already, but I'm sure there are tons of people out there ready to assist you in any way they can! I would be one of those who's always interested in burning my calories between the sheets!

    Good Luck!
  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    also look the people complaining about their SO not putting out for sex..thats so disgusting I can't stand it. I would NEVER complain about my boyfriend or parents to random people. especially not on a public forum. it's unbelieveably disrespectful. Unless they're actually abusing you and it's a cry for help then stop.

    As you have no experience of anything that is being discussed your opinion is pretty meaningless sorry
  • BeckaT79
    BeckaT79 Posts: 216
    I know you asked for no negativity but you're being a jerk.. I'm sorry

    Just so you know because of your profile picture I read that in Anne Hathaway's voice.. And I was seriously like man Anne is really speaking her mind these days... LOL!!!

    Good luck to the OP :-) I have also heard that 50 Shades may help if not him, you.....
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
    Honey, don't hold your breath. Hate to be a downer but went through this with my late husband. Invited him to join me constantly for walks and light exercise but got nowhere. You have to do it for you and we can't change the people in our lives, only the way we deal with them. I wish you all the luck in the world. pbcmnipper

    So very true, great advise!

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