Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

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Replies

  • ladydragon1951
    ladydragon1951 Posts: 8 Member
    Seriously depending on how old your husband is he might have low T. It would be advisable for you to make a doctors appointment for him. Make sure you go with him and ask the doctor about this even if he won't. You need to do this not only for you but for your husband as well.
  • dbdimples58
    dbdimples58 Posts: 5
    Maybe you need to sit down and read "50 shades of Grey" to him? Change things up a bit???? Just sayin'!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Girl FR me let's talk.:wink::flowerforyou:
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
    You didn't know that as soon as you get married, sex becomes non-existent?

    Have fun, stay single.
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    Maybe he lacks self confidence because he gained so much weight? or maybe getting out of the army was a lot for him..... Try to encourage him to work out not point the finger in whos right or wrong. Men are men, they are arrogant and stubborn. But us women we wear the pants! Its all about control, so I would say one step at a time, try to get him into it. Do things he likes, sometimes guys need more then just a naked body in front of them. Ive seen many online or in person half naked or naked guys and that really doesn't do it for me.... Not all guys (suprisingly) are just readyt o go! Just saying, but good luck regardless

    I think this makes sense. Stress, lacking confidence, etc... all reasons he may be less willing than usual. Wish I could give some advice. Good luck!
  • Stephanie_Autry
    Stephanie_Autry Posts: 228 Member
    You didn't know that as soon as you get married, sex becomes non-existent?

    Have fun, stay single.

    Wait- I will never be that way. Nope never!
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    You didn't know that as soon as you get married, sex becomes non-existent?

    Have fun, stay single.

    Wait- I will never be that way. Nope never!

    LOL nope. thankfully not every marriage is that way. my husband and i are multiple times a day... just about every day. ;)
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
    I don't think that telling him he's fat and lazy is going to help your cause....
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    When relationships I've been in in the past weren't giving me the sexual attention I needed, I'd tell them outright that I needed more than they were giving me and I wanted an open relationship so I could get it without putting demands they obviously didn't want to fulfill on them.

    Though it's worked for me in the past, I can't say I'd recommend it in a married relationship; sometimes the way it's worked for me is them getting butthurt about it and leaving me to my own resources.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
    Exercising increases your libido dramatically. If he's gaining weight and not doing his "husbandly duty", then you need to get him to join you in eating better and working out. Once he starts pumping some aggression back into himself, he'll start pumping some into you. :-)
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
    I know you asked for no negativity but you're being a jerk.. I'm sorry
  • MrDangerSass
    MrDangerSass Posts: 99
    Maybe he lacks self confidence because he gained so much weight? or maybe getting out of the army was a lot for him..... Try to encourage him to work out not point the finger in whos right or wrong. Men are men, they are arrogant and stubborn. But us women we wear the pants! Its all about control, so I would say one step at a time, try to get him into it. Do things he likes, sometimes guys need more then just a naked body in front of them. Ive seen many online or in person half naked or naked guys and that really doesn't do it for me.... Not all guys (suprisingly) are just readyt o go! Just saying, but good luck regardless

    ^agree...be patient and keep communicating. It sounds like you're finally taking control of your body and health and you are reaping those rewards. He's not in the same place as you are at this point. Don't have enough info as to why. Keep looking for those little things you do or did together and be lightly seductive and be patient...believe it or not, sometimes the stronger the advance the more standoffish he may become. I am pretty confident the challenge you are dealing with has less to do with you (you look great btw) than it does with where he is at and whatever he is dealing with (or likely not dealing with). This is coming from a husband who was guilty of the same at one point and has since made it his first motivation to never be there again.
  • perdie7
    perdie7 Posts: 278 Member
    bump
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    also look the people complaining about their SO not putting out for sex..thats so disgusting I can't stand it. I would NEVER complain about my boyfriend or parents to random people. especially not on a public forum. it's unbelieveably disrespectful. Unless they're actually abusing you and it's a cry for help then stop.
  • flaricew
    flaricew Posts: 1
    Do you and your husband go on any dates or have you since he got out of the army? IIf not, see about doing that..Get out, Dress up, look pretty-do something together.. However, to me, it doesnt sound like its an issue of you losing weight or him not being interested in sex with you anymore, its sounds more like there's an underlying issue he's having-maybe emotional, esteem, maybe miss being in the service, etc...

    I would say don't give up on him. Talk to him and ask what can be done to make some spark happen between you two! Find out what would turn him own (now) or what can you do to help him-(if its something else)..

    However, good luck!!
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    You are doing positive things. Keep doing that.
    Don't get all worked up over him.
    Be happy!
    Let him see you staying positive.
    He will want to join in, eventually!
    Don't talk about him to your friends.
    Keep your private intimacy, private.
    He will respect that, and you.
    Love him.
  • gguynes
    gguynes Posts: 20
    Someone else said it already, but I'm sure there are tons of people out there ready to assist you in any way they can! I would be one of those who's always interested in burning my calories between the sheets!

    Good Luck!
  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    also look the people complaining about their SO not putting out for sex..thats so disgusting I can't stand it. I would NEVER complain about my boyfriend or parents to random people. especially not on a public forum. it's unbelieveably disrespectful. Unless they're actually abusing you and it's a cry for help then stop.

    As you have no experience of anything that is being discussed your opinion is pretty meaningless sorry
  • BeckaT79
    BeckaT79 Posts: 216
    I know you asked for no negativity but you're being a jerk.. I'm sorry

    Just so you know because of your profile picture I read that in Anne Hathaway's voice.. And I was seriously like man Anne is really speaking her mind these days... LOL!!!

    Good luck to the OP :-) I have also heard that 50 Shades may help if not him, you.....
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
    Honey, don't hold your breath. Hate to be a downer but went through this with my late husband. Invited him to join me constantly for walks and light exercise but got nowhere. You have to do it for you and we can't change the people in our lives, only the way we deal with them. I wish you all the luck in the world. pbcmnipper

    So very true, great advise!

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