Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

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  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Honestly? This IS my last name. I have worked harder for this name than anything in my life. I deserve this name more than he does!! He was just handed it at birth, I gave birth to his kids. So it is mine due to blood I shed for his children.

    I feel like if he doesn't like having the same last name as me, he can have my old one:tongue:

    (OK, maybe this is still too fresh for me
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
    It is so much freaking trouble to change your name.

    ^This. I feel like guys don't understand this because they never have to change theirs, but all the paperwork and bureaucracy is beyond annoying. My married name is way easier than my maiden name, so if anything happened, I'm keeping it. And if any guy comes along later and doesn't like it, then his lack of understanding would make him an undesirable catch imho. A name is just a name, right? It doesn't change who I am.
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
    So why anyway, in the 21st century does anyone, change their last name when they get married anyway? Really? I haven't known anyone for years and years who has bothered. I didn't know this many people changed from their maiden name. Whatever for? Save the hassle from the get go.

    Some of us were born with names that suck! Moreover, I think girls (at least here in "The South") grow up expecting their name to change. When I had a crush--from elementary school to high school--I'd doodle my "married" name all over my notebooks. I've dreamed of erasing my last name and the curse that came with it since as far back as I can remember, but I do believe that hyphenating is a more practical option for some.
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
    Have you ever had to change a name? Talk about a mission! If I ever split up with my husband, my name would stay exactly as it is. Its no disrespect to anyone whatsoever. If they're offended, then I think we have much bigger problems then my last name. After 8 years of being together (or maybe longer for others) why change your name back? For me, it's just one big hassle to deal with.

    I don't care what my new man thinks about it. I don't care what his new woman thinks about it. I just don't care because my decision isn't based on anyone's feelings. It'd stay that way due to convenience.
  • littlehedgy
    littlehedgy Posts: 192 Member
    My man is taking my last name. If we ever did get divorced I would be fine with him keeping it. It's a fairly common last name and I don't really "own" it. But if he got remarried, and she took his last name she would be taking my last name... which I don't know how I would feel about. I think it would only seriously bother me if we had kids
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    You seem really bitter, and maybe a little insecure? Remember, there are three sides to the story.. his side, her side, and the truth.
    Like you said, it's "her choice," and it's also her choice to keep the name or not.

    ^I agree. I'm sure other people in the world ALSO have your husband's last name. How do you feel about them? It's a name!

    Personally, I'm going to avoid this entire issue by never changing my last name. I've worked really hard while bearing this name, and it's honestly one of the coolest names I've EVER seen. A potential husband is welcome to take my name, I guess. :smokin:
  • reyopo
    reyopo Posts: 210 Member
    I went back to my maiden name when I got divorced, even though I do have a child with his last name. Personal choice. And completely worth the "pain in the *kitten*" to me.

    Saaaaame here! Never thought twice about it, it's HIS name (and maybe a new wife's at some point), not mine anymore...I wanted to become "ME" again. I moved to a new state at the same time, so I had to update my DL and everything anyway.
  • suegmune
    suegmune Posts: 81
    If I got married and the last name was easier than my current last name (sitting at 11 letters)... you bet your farm I'm keeping his last name.

    This is exactly the reason I kept my ex's name. I have ABSOLUTELY no ties to this guy, nor do i miss him, still love him, etc. Nope, none of those. My last name -- NO one could ever pronounce it nor spell it. My maiden name is my middle name....and I like it that way.
  • Ginani
    Ginani Posts: 1
    It's not expensive, and really, how lazy can one be? I have three kids, they kept their dad's name as they should, and I took my maiden name back. It represented a clean start for me and it was empowering!
  • Jenrosa28
    Jenrosa28 Posts: 732 Member
    Since my divorce I have kept my ex's last name because I earned the right to keep it!! Who ever is going to be with me or any woman with their ex's last name needs to understand that it's the person that you're interested in and not a name. "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Shakespeare

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