MFP and disturbing posts

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  • AngelAtkins61
    AngelAtkins61 Posts: 52 Member
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    100% agree... I message people privately when I see this and on the other end , bad food choices.
    I try to give positive feedback on eating and losing properly. Explaining why you can not starve your body.
    Its sad that there are those who push undereating as a weight loss plan. Sad and unhealthy :(
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    I don't understand this. I was anorexic, but I would have been "padding" my diary with calories to make people think I HAD eaten. It was a bad thing that I wasn't, I hid that fact as much as possible. The breed that tends to display the fact that they are eating nothing seems like a totally different, attention seeking breed to me... and I just don't even know what to think of it, honestly.
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
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    Great post & I couldn't agree more...unfortunately "healthy" is a relative term. There is too much conflicting information out there for the good information to be heard clearly. It's hard not to let it get to you & you should help out the newbies as much as is comfortable for you, but at some point you do have to let go & trust that the folks seeking advice are smart enough to distinguish between the commenters who know what they're talking about & those who don't. I also assume the really smart people will take any information they get here with a grain of salt & research reputable sources to find out more.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with hiding your food diary if keeping it open makes you feel susceptible to judgment. Everyone should do what makes them feel good about the choices they make regarding their health. I have, however, unfriended people with a pattern of disordered eating & negative self-image after having tried to constructively help them out via PM. It's not personal, it just doesn't help me to see that stuff in my news feed & I'm entitled to create the type of supportive environment here I feel is appropriate for me.

    I get frustrated with it sometimes too...not my friends, but with the topics some of them post on occasionally. Some days I kind of wish there was a way to disable notifications for comments on forum posts in my feed, but what can you do.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
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    I have gotten frustrated with multiple friend requests from people and instead of support all the talk is about 150-500 calorie diets, ruining meals so you won't want to eat, etc. and all this terrible, obviously anorexic behavior.
  • Bevigal
    Bevigal Posts: 66 Member
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    My doctor has me eating 6 small meals a day and a couple snacks if I am hungry. I eat between 1300 and 1600 cal per day and thats plenty for me. Perhaps some of these people are on similar restrictions. Some I am sure are just eating unhealthy but I don't get angry and delete them. We cannot police the world on eating right or wrong but we can be more understanding and simply point out that it is always better to eat healthy.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I don't understand this. I was anorexic, but I would have been "padding" my diary with calories to make people think I HAD eaten. It was a bad thing that I wasn't, I hid that fact as much as possible. The breed that tends to display the fact that they are eating nothing seems like a totally different, attention seeking breed to me... and I just don't even know what to think of it, honestly.

    Yeah, that's so true. I don't understand this behavior at all. If they are not here to get help and get better, why are they doing this here.

    I don't consider myself to have had an eating disorder because it was never a long term disorder for me, but I had food issues when I was growing up and I stopped eating at one point, my weight dropped below 90 pounds and I experienced the symptoms of malnutrition. It was a horrendous experience and I chose on my own to eat again and to get well. That was when I realized the importance of health and being nourished and I made health a lifelong priority. But, when I was struggling with it I tried to keep it as secret as I possibly could. That was all before I was full grown, before I was an adult. Back then our judgement centers in our brains are not fully developed, so I consider that to have been poor judgement (it was a mistake). Even now, I very rarely even talk about it. It is difficult to see these girls open and aware of what they are doing and not seeking help. For me it was very brief, and when I experienced the very real consequences of malnutrition I got help right away, no one had to make me get help. I never wanted to go through that ever again.
  • KellyJoMorris
    KellyJoMorris Posts: 35 Member
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    Maybe this would be a course of action that you could decide to take, should you feel strongly enough about it?

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  • misao1994
    misao1994 Posts: 78
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    Thank you for posting this! I posted the same thing and got A LOT of hate back for it. I'm really glad to see someone sees my frustrations in the same light. And I know you're not trying to be mean or discriminatory!
  • Phoenix59
    Phoenix59 Posts: 364 Member
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    I have a couple of friends who don't have open diaries and consistently come under calories. Since I can't see how far under they are or what they're eating, I just don't comment. I refuse to give a "wtg" or "great job," if I can't justify it.
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
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    I'm hoping to find some common ground with POSITIVE people by posting this. And I'm going to say right now that I have nothing against those with an ED being on this site, seeing as I have struggled with one before as well.
    MFP is here to help those wanting to get healthy and lose weight the right way. I am finding it appalling to see so many people losing weight in an unhealthy manner and having people congratulate them. I have had to "unfriend" several members due to the fact that they posted about being "fat" constantly (when they had about 5lbs to lose each). They also posted unhealthy "tips" to lose weight and would stay at about half of their 1,200 calorie a day limit. I understand we are all different, we all lose weight and exercise in different ways and we sure all have different views on food. I don't however think it's appropriate to tell someone "good job" after eating 300 calories for the day after burning 1,000. What happened to positive criticism and support? It is not healthy to eat that little and exercise that much! Good for you if you were under your calories, however don't congratulate someone for not eating that day. It's condoning ED's and again, appalling, especially for those recovering. I am seeking POSITIVE friends and could certainly offer much support, I will not however, tolerate any sort of ED behavior. If you are recovering, such as I am....GOOD FOR YOU! If you are seeking approval for your unhealthy habits and are not looking to improve your life and unhappy habits...well, they instead of posting on MFP you should seek professional, nutritional help.


    End of rant! I'm sure I can't be the only one who is feeling this frustration...
    And btw I'd love to add some new friends who i can support and who can support me on this positive life change :)

    bump! wow.. yeah I hear ya... not healthy at all.. sure starve your body and hope your kidneys dont fail! hello?!?!!? its like this is our life/bodies and health.. not a joke.. or something.. almost ya know ? yeah i have friends on here
    that I have things in common with and similar ish wt loss goals and all that.... its ok that you had to delete some peeps...no worries there.. you dont need to hear negative weird ish stuff... i hear ya... i coudnt hang with that.. already bugs me to see peeps eating under there calorie goal intake when there only at 1200 a day as is! and or if they earn like 500 dang cals w/exercise and eat NONE back... and im like hello your "net" is only like 900 or less... not healthy .. starving ur body/storing fat and delays longer term wt loss.. only peeps eating that little shld be status post gastric bpyass and its cuz there dang stomach is the size of 6 grapes!
  • avocado12
    avocado12 Posts: 197 Member
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    Double post
  • avocado12
    avocado12 Posts: 197 Member
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    Wow - judgmental much? Personally I try to encourage people to eat well and be healthy. I don't judge them for eating too little, or judge them for eating too much and making themselves obese in the first place.

    If something doesn't appeal to me whether it's a post, a personal diary, or whatever, I just move on. Life's too short to worry about what everyone else is doing and whether it is "good" for them or not.

    This.

    I have a variety of people and intakes on my friends list and I am there to support them all - and before you ask, NO I don't actively support the fact they're starving themselves, I mean I'm there if they need to chat. I don't shut ANYONE out - I'd be devastated if people did that to me.
  • tarisa222
    tarisa222 Posts: 27 Member
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    I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.


    I also think this is true.

    This is true for me.... I don't have time to look at everyone's diary! but when I have most people are eating well. Haven't really came across this problem, but deleting yourself isn't really going to help them. maybe staying their friend and they see your losing weight while eating is a solution. but having had a previous disorder you might be able to get through to them. i wouldn't even know about that! I love to eat and maybe there are tips out there, such as drinking green tea. I wouldn't really discourage it. Im into low carb dieting, so it kinda helps to share our journeys! Those secrets can help people with cravings, or sweet tooth, or substituting foods. We may not always agree, but let people post what they want! I find it makes this interesting way to learn!
  • ClaireSD35
    ClaireSD35 Posts: 38
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    Exactly. MFP is designed to help you log your food (min 1200 cals a day) and help you change your lifestyle whilst losing weight slowly.
    Well said!
  • annfuller1
    annfuller1 Posts: 30
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    i totally agree too, rome wasnt built in a day and i can not lose what i need to lose in a day.

    i want my hair and skin to be glowing, i want to turn heads and i will only achieve that with a healthy plan

    xxxxx
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
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    Slow and steady wins the race ;)

    I have to keep remembering this. This is the only way it is going to work and last for me, so I'm anticipating a year to lose my weight. But my goal is health, not the lowest possible number on the scales!
  • Aleluya17
    Aleluya17 Posts: 205 Member
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    I saw on the news that was talking about there being entire online communities that encourage EDs. These sites are populated mostly by teenage girls. The news report said that the people on those websites would share tips on how to be more successful in maintaining unhealthy diets.
  • emailjayne
    emailjayne Posts: 13 Member
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    Thanks for the post. I'm new to MFP (just two days!) and it never crossed my mind that this issue would come up. Now I can be aware of it. Thanks again and good luck to you!!
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
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    I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.

    I suspect that this is true for 99% of the "awesome!"s that are posted.

    I've lowered my number of friends so that I can actually comment constructively to them and no longer do this myself.

    I can be a better supporter of 30 people than I can to 60.
  • celestialmoon
    celestialmoon Posts: 18
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    I think you spoke most intelligently and used your words to put across to others how important it is. My eating disorder was using food as a crutch. I realize now that I hid behind my weight in fear. I was never accepted by a lot of people, but I learned that you must lose weight correctly and do what is right. I believe I could be your friend and I would love for us to be support for each other. My name is Susan. I was 269 lbs and I am now 223. 4 lbs. I always eat my calories unless I am feeling ill. I am on lots of meds which I hope to get off of. I want this very badly for myself, but not enough to do something harmful. I have lost 45.6 lbs since March of this year. I think it is steady and healthy. I hope you will be my friend.

    :heart: Susan

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