Chuck Norris...

1246

Replies

  • ourwickedlies
    ourwickedlies Posts: 46 Member
    In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris make joke about you.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Chuck Norris walked down a street in my town once with an erection.
    There were no survivors.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,561 Member
    funny-gif-Chuck-Norris-Mario-game.gif
  • KevinLamb77
    KevinLamb77 Posts: 87 Member
    When Chuck Norris has sex, he is always on top. Why? Because, Chuck Norris never fvcks up!!
  • Cindy873
    Cindy873 Posts: 1,165 Member
    Go to Google and type in, "where is Chuck Norris?"

    Click the first link. You'll get:

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

    Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

    Suggestions:

    Run, before he finds you.
    Try a different person.
    Try someone less dangerous.

    Thank you Google for a good sense of humor!
  • wayne4825
    wayne4825 Posts: 166 Member
    Has anyone google searched Where is Chuck Norris? It's pretty funny. Check it out.
  • wayne4825
    wayne4825 Posts: 166 Member
    Go to Google and type in, "where is Chuck Norris?"

    Click the first link. You'll get:

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

    Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

    Suggestions:

    Run, before he finds you.
    Try a different person.
    Try someone less dangerous.

    Thank you Google for a good sense of humor!


    Lol. I saw this AFTER I posted.. Sorry :(
  • Cindy873
    Cindy873 Posts: 1,165 Member
    Great minds think alike, Wayne! :)
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
    Haha LOVE this one! :laugh:

    Hey! I posted it first! You just acknowledge hers first because she has a boob shot in her profile pic and I don't. :grumble: LOL :tongue:
    I know! I realized it after I posted and was hoping you wouldn't notice. :laugh:

    That's what I get for reading the thread backwards :blushing:

    That being said, I'm totally on board with your version of events :tongue: :bigsmile:
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    gxMcZ23947.jpg
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands...now they are just "The Islands".
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
    Chuck Norris can turn back time simply by staring at the clock and flexing
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246 Member
    God created Jesus to inspire peace. When that didn't work, he created Chuck Norris to enforce it.
  • mrstreme
    mrstreme Posts: 1 Member
    Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he eats unicorns. =)
  • rpounds1957
    rpounds1957 Posts: 177 Member
    Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

    Chuck Norris understands women.
  • Masterdo
    Masterdo Posts: 331 Member
    Go to Google and type in, "where is Chuck Norris?"

    Click the first link. You'll get:

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

    Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

    Suggestions:

    Run, before he finds you.
    Try a different person.
    Try someone less dangerous.

    Thank you Google for a good sense of humor!


    Lol. I saw this AFTER I posted.. Sorry :(

    Try typing "do a barrel roll". Fun times too.

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
    When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets "Chuck Norrised"
    Chuck Norris can win at Connect Four with 3 moves.
  • Spanntastic12
    Spanntastic12 Posts: 181 Member
    Chuck Norris never did Insanity. Lol
  • WhiskeyCity
    WhiskeyCity Posts: 711 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. The world goes down.
  • CinJay
    CinJay Posts: 157 Member
    Whats your favorite Chuck Norris line?


    I never heard about the "Chuck Norris-isms" until about 3 months ago. HEY, Why would I, I'm NOT a Nerd!

    xljtzp.jpg

    bahahahahahahaahaaaa!
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
    If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, never ask to see his 3-hole punch.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257 Member
    Chuck Norris never calls a wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.

    hahahahah
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313 Member
    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257 Member
    Chuck Norris real name was Switchblade Killingsworth, he changed it to Chuck Norris cause it sound tougher.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257 Member
    Chuck Norris once had sex with your mom and your dad gave him a high 5.
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    If there is one thing Bruce Lee did before he died of being too awesome, it was KICKING CHUCK NORRIS, IN THE FACE.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257 Member
    zXJvR.jpg&w=700&h=525&ei=zOMzUI_dNeqW2QXHzoGgDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1261&vpy=416&dur=1359&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=173&ty=115&sig=101805489327243010240&page=3&tbnh=152&tbnw=203&start=49&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:12,s:49,i:278
  • DeeDel32
    DeeDel32 Posts: 542 Member
    The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    chuck-norris-fact-bruce-lee-i-kicked-his-*kitten*.jpg&w=600&h=450&ei=--IzUJs-4ZbZBaPfgdgD&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1261&vpy=400&dur=610&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=182&ty=128&sig=101805489327243010240&page=1&tbnh=148&tbnw=194&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:20,s:0,i:164[img][/img]

    " [ img] link here! [ /img] "
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Hmph...stupid red x.

    shakefist.gif
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    chuck-norris-fact-bruce-lee-i-kicked-his-*kitten*.jpg

    Courtesy of MikeyD
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