Chuck Norris...

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Replies

  • dandaninc
    dandaninc Posts: 392
    "Here is a Chuck Norris fact, I kicked his *kitten*" -Bruce Lee

    BOOM!
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313
    "Here is a Chuck Norris fact, I kicked his *kitten*" -Bruce Lee

    BOOM!

    If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *kitten* kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
  • Feisty_Red
    Feisty_Red Posts: 982 Member
    1d339ffe.jpg
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313
    Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    Chuck Norris can find the G-spot, everytime, even when he isn't around.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    A friend of mine actually knows Chuck and was in several episodes of Walker, Texas Rabger as one of the goons he would always beat up.

    Ok, now back to the Chuck Norris ism's aslk;dgjv;l Damn! He got me!
  • starcatcher1975
    starcatcher1975 Posts: 292 Member
    Entertaining read while finishing up a long day at work :)
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    Chuck Norris Autographs don't exist because when he grabs the pen, his grip squeezes the ink out of it
  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out
  • LishaCole
    LishaCole Posts: 245
    "You can't name a bridge after Chuck Norris... because nobody crosses Chuck Norris"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQj7QUVOkqk
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
    There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

    oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:
  • LillysGranny
    LillysGranny Posts: 431
    LOVE these!
  • BSchoberg
    BSchoberg Posts: 712 Member
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out


    I am dying to know what you "edited..." lmao
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out


    I am dying to know what you "edited..." lmao

    he just had the :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: but then the devil took control of his body to add in words, because that's what the devil does, he makes people do crazy things... like mock Chuck Norris... :bigsmile:
  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

    oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

    Good, then he can prove half of these are false
  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out


    I am dying to know what you "edited..." lmao

    The bold was added
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

    oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

    Good, then he can prove half of these are false

    you can just have fun with them :drinker:
  • wood2415
    wood2415 Posts: 53 Member
    Superman and Chuck Norris once fought. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    A nurse once tried to draw Chuck Norris' blood. The needle bled instead.
  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

    oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

    Good, then he can prove half of these are false

    you can just have fun with them :drinker:

    I have more fun with friends, and playing any game I hate... than making up things that make Mr Norris, or anyone else, to be something more than human. A human who spent his life training and acting; yes, but anyone one of you could have done the same thing... easily. But choose other fields.

    Edited to fix an error
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

    oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

    Good, then he can prove half of these are false

    you can just have fun with them :drinker:

    I have more fun with friends, and playing any game I hate... than making up things that make Mr Norris or to be something more than human. A human who spent his life training and acting; yes, but anyone one of you could have done the same thing... easily. But choose other fields.

    I think a bunch of college kids started it. It's kinda funny that it just sticks only with CN, I bet no matter who they would've picked, it would still probably continue... It cracks me up what people come up with like, slam a revolving door... CN was just added into the impossibles..
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his parents did.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

    Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

    oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

    Good, then he can prove half of these are false

    you can just have fun with them :drinker:

    I have more fun with friends, and playing any game I hate... than making up things that make Mr Norris or to be something more than human. A human who spent his life training and acting; yes, but anyone one of you could have done the same thing... easily. But choose other fields.

    I think a bunch of college kids started it. It's kinda funny that it just sticks only with CN, I bet no matter who they would've picked, it would still probably continue... It cracks me up what people come up with like, slam a revolving door... CN was just added into the impossibles..

    You guys realize the Most Interesting Man in the World campaign is a spin on the CN list? Stay thirsty my friends!
  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
    \I think a bunch of college kids started it. It's kinda funny that it just sticks only with CN, I bet no matter who they would've picked, it would still probably continue... It cracks me up what people come up with like, slam a revolving door... CN was just added into the impossibles..

    You guys realize the Most Interesting Man in the World campaign is a spin on the CN list? Stay thirsty my friends!

    Yeap, he is annoying as well.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    Chuck Norris' dog picks up it's own poo because Chuck Norris don't take crap from nobody...
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