Toxic Parents...don't believe what you are told

Thanks for the reminder about this. I had to move back in with my parents for a bit due to financial problems and my parents are both pretty toxic. To make matters worse, last time I lived at home I had a very bad eating disorder - which you think a parent might notice - but mine never did even when it was pretty hard to hide.
Anyway, I was doing really well until they all went on Weight Watchers. It's been triggering unfortunately, instead of not eating I end up binging and eating all the things I know I shouldn't (and don't even like) because of all the constant food talk.

I had an account awhile ago and it helped, but I joined back up when I gained everything back and went ten pounds past my high weight. I have no idea how I'm going to manage to stay sane, lose weight, and be healthy but I have to try.

I have that book: it totally helped me in the past, though now things are a little more difficult. (I was totally one of those people much happier without my parents in my life on a daily or weekly basis.)

My father always told me I was fat... but I didn't consider it abuse of any sort because I was fat! 180 pounds at 5'9.. I was a blimp, who needed to lose weight but never wanted to.. and now that I have, he can't shut up about how good I look. I like to say that I proved him wrong.

My father also likes to tell me that I'm worthless and will never find a job because I never learned how to do anything in college. I should have gone for engineering or something math based because then at least I would have learned how to do something, and I wouldn't be so stupid... and of course that one stings, but until I can move out, I just tell him that his role is to sit there, pay the bills and be quiet... and it seems that after a year of me telling him that, he's accepted that fact and leaves me alone.

My one-time very slim, very attractive, size 8 (UK) mother always called me fat, said I only had attractive friends to make me feel better about myself and taking me shopping for clothes that were bigger than hers was embarrassing. This always struck me as being odd, seeing as though she fed me and bought the food I ate until I was old enough to fend for myself. To me, this is control, manipulation and emotional abuse at the very least.

Now, I wouldn't wish ill on anybody, but the day she woke up a Size 18/20 and asked if I had some clothes she could borrow, gave me more pleasure than you could imagine. She has not mentioned my weight since then. However, the control and manipulation is still there, because she WILL NOT acknowledge that I am trying to do something about my weight, and still insists on giving me huge portions of meals that she only bothers to cook when we go over. She also controls meals out by refusing to let me pay for any and causing a scene when I try to put my foot down, thereby choosing herself where we eat.

She is a nightmare.

Basically, all I wanted to say, was.. if there are any young people out there, that have been told you are "fat".... get real support, from TRUSTED people... the school nurse, your family doctor or nurse, a family member who believes in you, a teacher or school counselor. I wish you all the best, be yourself... have fun, and remember... there is always one person out there who believes in you. It WILL get better.

Believe in yourself, in the end you're the only one who can do anything for you... And strut like hell when you've stood up for yourself. You're a boss.

Thank You for reminding me how blessed I am to have supportive parents! Sometimes I forget and don't appreciate them like I should.

Bump.

I'm glad you've got such a good perspective on a horrible thing.

to you.

luckily, my family, as well as my husbands family are very supportive..nobody ever told me i was fat to my face, but it was said behind my back..of course then, i WAS obese, and as much as it would have hurt my feelings and embarassing to have it pointed out to me, it would have been true. now, i get complimented on how GOOD and HEALTHY i look..im sorry you dont have the support like you should :frown: