The 2 sides to MFP
Replies
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This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.
I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat
Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!
It seems as though you should have guided him to the part that would help him.
Well I did eventually, seems he wasn't interested by then0 -
The problem isn't those threads, or topics, or that they get so much play on MFP...the problem is that someone made the "effort" to log into MFP, found those threads, then got discouraged. It has nothing to do with the threads themselves, nor does it have anything to do with those who participated in those threads, the problem lays squarely on the shoulders of the person who got upset about them.
Self conscience or not, if you're going to let something that was posted on the internet, in a section you never have to visit unless you want to visit, if you let that deter you...then you weren't serious to begin with. I have met and know too many people with the "I can't" or "I tried, but it didn't work for me" attitude that want to complain and whine about their weight or situation, but never want to do anything about it that goes beyond taking some magic pill. The only true motivation a person needs is themselves, because without first believing in yourself, you won't believe what anyone else says either. You need to want to be motivated or else it's all in vain.
Veteran: You want to read the forum?
Noob: I think I'm entitled.
Veteran: You want to read the forums?
Noob: I want motivation!!
Veteran: You CAN'T HANDLE THE MOTIVATION!! We live on a site that has fit people. And most of those fit people have worked hard to get where they are. They want to be known as sexy! Who's gonna tell them their sexy? You? They have a greater opinion of themselves than you can possibly imagine...they worked hard to get where they are. The cried, they poured sweat, they fasted, they ate more to weigh less, they cut calories. The truth is, they know their BMR and their TDEE, they know the dedication it takes to lose 100 lbs and feel good about who they are. You don't want the motivation, because deep down you know those magic pill infomercials are solid crap, and you want ripped, you NEED ripped abs, and you know there's only one way to get them. Those Chit-Chat people use words like sexy, cute, hotness because they've earned it. You use them as way to cop out. They neither have the time, nor the inclination to put forth effort to help motivate someone who is looking for an excuse to stay un-motivated. They would rather you log out and move on. Otherwise, I suggest you dig deep down, realize that you want to lose the weight, find the motivational threads, log your calories, lift some weights and jump on a treadmill and thank MFP for allowing me to be accountable to myself and to others.
When you decide to get serious about something, then you will let nothing stand in the way of your goal.
If you believe you can't do something, then you're probably right.
Post on Mr. and Mrs. Hotness, keep those threads going Ms. Firm Butt and Mr. Cut Abs... because one day, one day soon...I will be among you....oh yes...one day MFP will be writing long blogs about my awesomeness, but for the time being, I will toot my own horn, because I am worthy of some tootage! Ok...not sure that came out as good in print as it did in my head.
Edited to say that I apparently am WAY bored at work and need to find something to do.
You completely win the internet today. Srsly.0 -
I love MFP and am excited to have found it. I have absolutely no use for the Chit-Chat part of the forum though! If someone is going to judge all of MFP based on the Chit-Chat thread, then he gave up way too easily.
To avoid the infestation of Chit Chat threads, just click on Home instead of Recent Posts, and go to specific, weight-loss related and motivating threads instead of mindless drivel and giggly chatter.
I pick and choose what works for me on here: take what I like, leave the rest.0 -
Blah- the forums mostly turn into fights......As a member for 2.5 years, I have noticed a shift in the forums. When I first started, the MFP forums were a lot more positive, less arguing, less trolling, and more of the health/fitness, nutrition, success stories, ect. Chit-chat section has taken over. I'm not saying its bad- I have even posted in there once in a while when I'm bored, but don't feel it is my main purpose while using the site. I usually don't use the forums anymore if I have questions- I will research online, or ask my friends because of the few people who have nothing better to do than stir up something. I guess as a member of this site, I try to be positive, encouraging, and a good role model to others who have just started this journey.
THIS 0 -
Meh. I find these message boards to be a diversion, only. They have nothing to do with any success I have had or will have.
Everyone is different. MFP works for me because of my excellent pals and the quality of the iPhone app. For others, the message boards keep them coming back.
There are trolls everywhere on the web and that will always be the case. Your friend shouldn't make those his excuse for not trying.0 -
I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.
But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.0 -
I love MFP and am excited to have found it. I have absolutely no use for the Chit-Chat part of the forum though! If someone is going to judge all of MFP based on the Chit-Chat thread, then he gave up way too easily.
To avoid the infestation of Chit Chat threads, just click on Home instead of Recent Posts, and go to specific, weight-loss related and motivating threads instead of mindless drivel and giggly chatter.
I pick and choose what works for me on here: take what I like, leave the rest.
Yeah that's exactly what I do. Recent posts was a bad idea!0 -
Well since he was the one that went straight the chit chat fun and games section, obviously he isnt serious about this stuff either. now, had he gone to the Exercise or Nutrition end he would have found more helpful areas.
You cant go to Target, walk to the toy section then leave because that store was obviously built just for children- thats just... not very bright.
And when you are used to running around the serious parts of the forums today wading endlessly through excuses, laziness and plain old bullcrap- just to try to find the shiny ones who are really trying to change and want your help - sometimes you need to take a break and go to the chit chat thread and talk about your favorite movie line and see if anyone else remembers it too.
Oh and also- never tell anyone that somewhere on the internet is all equal and nonjudgmental cause you're going to be proven wrong.
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This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.
I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat
Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!
Yes, I saw that you said that and I'm not buying the excuse. Whenever I have looked at Recent Posts, there is a mix of posts from the different boards (if I'm using those terms correctly). I have never seen a list of Recent Posts that were all from Chit-Chat. Maybe I'm too much of a skeptic, but I just don't believe your friend saw a list of Recent Posts that had nothing represented from Motivation and Support, Success Stories, Food and Nutrition, Fitness and Exercise or General Dieting and Weight Loss Help. I think your friend latched onto one thread that was off-topic in a list of other alternatives and went to the Chit-Chat board and saw all those listed. Those threads aren't strictly dealing with how men look - many are also judging women!
I hope your friend will be reasonable and give the other boards a chance. This place is what everyone makes of it for themselves. I could get upset about all the hot women here and the Chit-Chat subjects, or I could be inspired by what people have accomplished to get there. I choose the latter because I'm not going to make excuses for why I am unhappy with being overweight. Being unhappy about your weight isn't the fault of other people who are thin and fit. He needs to take more personal responsibility for where he is to turn himself around, I think. It doesn't sound like he's ready to lose weight, but maybe if you can convince him to have a look at the Success Stories, he can find the inspiration to change his way of thinking.0 -
I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.
But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.
Yeah I know but seems like the recent posts section was a too-easy short cut to the off topics0 -
I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.
But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.
To be fair, I think it's a point to consider. I noticed a thread in the Website Suggestions/Feedback section the other day that was requesting a way to filter out the Chit-Chat topics from the Recent Posts feed. If it's an option, it wouldn't be a bad idea...whatever helps people. I hadn't thought about it before seeing that suggestion, but it's clear that the OP's friend isn't the only one who is/was annoyed by the feed. I don't have a problem with it, but we're all different.0 -
I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.
But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.
Yeah I know but seems like the recent posts section was a too-easy short cut to the off topics
You cant get mad at an entire website because at that very moment most of the people logged on were responding to chit chat threads. If you want to hear the symphony of the fit happy people posting in all the info forums without a sad panda face or rage muffin in their hand- you got find us in those threads early in the morning before all the complainers spend hours trying to break our spirit and everyone gets all troll-y.0 -
To each his or her own. I think it's good to see a different side of people and sharing things. It's a nice distraction from every day life. If you don't like them...avoid them. PERIOD! You're not forced to participate.0
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Yes, I saw that you said that and I'm not buying the excuse. Whenever I have looked at Recent Posts, there is a mix of posts from the different boards (if I'm using those terms correctly). I have never seen a list of Recent Posts that were all from Chit-Chat. Maybe I'm too much of a skeptic, but I just don't believe your friend saw a list of Recent Posts that had nothing represented from Motivation and Support, Success Stories, Food and Nutrition, Fitness and Exercise or General Dieting and Weight Loss Help. I think your friend latched onto one thread that was off-topic in a list of other alternatives and went to the Chit-Chat board and saw all those listed. Those threads aren't strictly dealing with how men look - many are also judging women!
I hope your friend will be reasonable and give the other boards a chance. This place is what everyone makes of it for themselves. I could get upset about all the hot women here and the Chit-Chat subjects, or I could be inspired by what people have accomplished to get there. I choose the latter because I'm not going to make excuses for why I am unhappy with being overweight. Being unhappy about your weight isn't the fault of other people who are thin and fit. He needs to take more personal responsibility for where he is to turn himself around, I think. It doesn't sound like he's ready to lose weight, but maybe if you can convince him to have a look at the Success Stories, he can find the inspiration to change his way of thinking.
Oh you're right about that - there was I'm certain a mixture of posts in the recent posts section. But the majority were from chit chat and the stand out ones were the examples I listed - certainly the popular ones are of this type
Good point about the success stories - it was reading some of these that first made me think of him to be honest0 -
I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.
But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.
Yeah I know but seems like the recent posts section was a too-easy short cut to the off topics
Look, this guy is your friend, I'm sure if you explain the website and it's functionality he will understand. I'm also sure he is capable of avoiding topics that he doesn't deem relevant or interesting.0 -
I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.
True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.
You're the one posting in them. o_O
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I really don't have time or the energy to read all the pages on this, but I can imagine there is a bit of clash between both sides on this issue. Personally, I totally get both sides on this one. I can see how someone with a lot of weight to lose could get discouraged if that is one of their first impressions of the site. I also like to have fun and enjoy some of the threads in the chit chat forum, although the rating threads are just stupid in my opinion.
So if I were in charge of this site, I would either exclude the chit chat posts from the Recent Posts query or elminate the Recent Posts query altogether. Chances are someone just joining the site is not going to start off by clicking the chit-chat board before the others.0 -
You cant get mad at an entire website because at that very moment most of the people logged on were responding to chit chat threads. If you want to hear the symphony of the fit happy people posting in all the info forums without a sad panda face or rage muffin in their hand- you got find us in those threads early in the morning before all the complainers spend hours trying to break our spirit and everyone gets all troll-y.
As is usual on here, things have escalated into an Internet brawl
I didn't get 'mad at an Internet website', I just said "It's a shame that he was put off by his first impression"
I still think it's a shame - not advocating change, not saying anybody is wrong or right, not getting mad, just think it's a shame0 -
I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.
But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.
To be fair, I think it's a point to consider. I noticed a thread in the Website Suggestions/Feedback section the other day that was requesting a way to filter out the Chit-Chat topics from the Recent Posts feed. If it's an option, it wouldn't be a bad idea...whatever helps people. I hadn't thought about it before seeing that suggestion, but it's clear that the OP's friend isn't the only one who is/was annoyed by the feed. I don't have a problem with it, but we're all different.
If having a filter will help then fair enough, anything to keep people happy and motivated.
Personally, I would just use common sense and judgement.0 -
I really don't have time or the energy to read all the pages on this, but I can imagine there is a bit of clash between both sides on this issue. Personally, I totally get both sides on this one. I can see how someone with a lot of weight to lose could get discouraged if that is one of their first impressions of the site. I also like to have fun and enjoy some of the threads in the chit chat forum, although the rating threads are just stupid in my opinion.
So if I were in charge of this site, I would either exclude the chit chat posts from the Recent Posts query or elminate the Recent Posts query altogether. Chances are someone just joining the site is not going to start off by clicking the chit-chat board before the others.
Sums up how I feel
Just to re-itterate though - he clciked on Recent posts, I guess to see what people were talking about - seems it was mostly Tatum Channing and the like
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In my opinion, MFP isn't supposed to be Facebook.... Pick one or the other, this sight is for losing weight and finding support in a community experiencing what you are going through. Not to mention, how horrible and rude it is to rate people by their appearances. Adults are no better than high school students when it comes to cyber-bullying and comparing the "sexiness" or "hotness" of others. I don't have a Facebook account because I want to avoid childish and immature stunts like these. MFP is designed for for people with weight loss and fitness goals who are searching for others to share this tough journey with.0
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In my opinion, MFP isn't supposed to be Facebook.... Pick one or the other, this sight is for losing weight and finding support in a community experiencing what you are going through. Not to mention, how horrible and rude it is to rate people by their appearances. Adults are no better than high school students when it comes to cyber-bullying and comparing the "sexiness" or "hotness" of others. I don't have a Facebook account because I want to avoid childish and immature stunts like these. MFP is designed for for people with weight loss and fitness goals who are searching for others to share this tough journey with.
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The problem isn't those threads, or topics, or that they get so much play on MFP...the problem is that someone made the "effort" to log into MFP, found those threads, then got discouraged. It has nothing to do with the threads themselves, nor does it have anything to do with those who participated in those threads, the problem lays squarely on the shoulders of the person who got upset about them.
Self conscience or not, if you're going to let something that was posted on the internet, in a section you never have to visit unless you want to visit, if you let that deter you...then you weren't serious to begin with. I have met and know too many people with the "I can't" or "I tried, but it didn't work for me" attitude that want to complain and whine about their weight or situation, but never want to do anything about it that goes beyond taking some magic pill. The only true motivation a person needs is themselves, because without first believing in yourself, you won't believe what anyone else says either. You need to want to be motivated or else it's all in vain.
Veteran: You want to read the forum?
Noob: I think I'm entitled.
Veteran: You want to read the forums?
Noob: I want motivation!!
Veteran: You CAN'T HANDLE THE MOTIVATION!! We live on a site that has fit people. And most of those fit people have worked hard to get where they are. They want to be known as sexy! Who's gonna tell them their sexy? You? They have a greater opinion of themselves than you can possibly imagine...they worked hard to get where they are. The cried, they poured sweat, they fasted, they ate more to weigh less, they cut calories. The truth is, they know their BMR and their TDEE, they know the dedication it takes to lose 100 lbs and feel good about who they are. You don't want the motivation, because deep down you know those magic pill infomercials are solid crap, and you want ripped, you NEED ripped abs, and you know there's only one way to get them. Those Chit-Chat people use words like sexy, cute, hotness because they've earned it. You use them as way to cop out. They neither have the time, nor the inclination to put forth effort to help motivate someone who is looking for an excuse to stay un-motivated. They would rather you log out and move on. Otherwise, I suggest you dig deep down, realize that you want to lose the weight, find the motivational threads, log your calories, lift some weights and jump on a treadmill and thank MFP for allowing me to be accountable to myself and to others.
When you decide to get serious about something, then you will let nothing stand in the way of your goal.
If you believe you can't do something, then you're probably right.
Post on Mr. and Mrs. Hotness, keep those threads going Ms. Firm Butt and Mr. Cut Abs... because one day, one day soon...I will be among you....oh yes...one day MFP will be writing long blogs about my awesomeness, but for the time being, I will toot my own horn, because I am worthy of some tootage! Ok...not sure that came out as good in print as it did in my head.
Edited to say that I apparently am WAY bored at work and need to find something to do.
I don't post much but I have to say I agree with ^^^ THIS 0 -
It does seem a failry sensible solution to take chit chat feeds out of the recent posts. It is the most active area like you say and will come up first and it does figure that a newbie would click straight there and, being at the beginning of a weightloss journey and therefore perhaps overly sensitive to these types of feeds, would become discouraged.
They could easily make their way to it alone later via the "chitchat and fun" thread but it just wouldn't be their very first impression.
Everyone who wants to post there still can do so happily. Sounds a good response to me. Maybe you should put it to the website suggestion thread?0 -
Im sorry but how on EARTH does the recent post have ANYtHiNG to do with this mans motivation to lose weight!? What he doesnt want to be rated in a chit-chat forum he can choose to not post in so aw well guess i cant lose weight cause all these people are too hot well no ****! We all worked HARD to get this way we all USE this site for fitness most who post in chit chat have lost 200, 100, 87, 45, 55 pounds! So WHAT that they wanna have a lil flirt and fun! If your truly a fitness addict like most of us its hard to find friends who see what your trying to do!
I for one have almost all over weight friends bow who scoff at me when i dont partake in their cake eating! Most of the people "rateing" themselves or others have self confidence issues and still see the fat when they look in the mirror its a confidence booster who cares if YOU dont agree but dont you dare! Use that as an excuse not to use MFP to track calories that in itself is a sad excuse!
That is all.0 -
In my opinion, MFP isn't supposed to be Facebook.... Pick one or the other, this sight is for losing weight and finding support in a community experiencing what you are going through. Not to mention, how horrible and rude it is to rate people by their appearances. Adults are no better than high school students when it comes to cyber-bullying and comparing the "sexiness" or "hotness" of others. I don't have a Facebook account because I want to avoid childish and immature stunts like these. MFP is designed for for people with weight loss and fitness goals who are searching for others to share this tough journey with.
FB does not have the ability to rate the user above you. You are thinking Hot or Not which is much meaner than a bunch of people celebrating the results of all of their hard work.0 -
I think it's really cool that you are helping your friend with MFP.I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.
I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!
So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:
...
Are you really posting about concerns for your friend, or is this a convenient context in which to place your soapbox?0 -
Why do you suppose most threads were from the chit-chat forum? Because that just happened to be the forum that had the most activity.
Most of us are on here daily busting our *kitten* and trying to take charge of our lives. So what if we like to have a little fun?
Seriously. This is the interwebz. Take it with a grain of salt.0 -
Sad that you have to turn and attack me - it does not reflect well
I don't ever post my real picture in any social site - so I post one that's obviously not a real person and certainly not meThere are people here who either have a fake profile and pictures, and are not here to lose weight and treat MFP as a dating site.
When I see a guy with a muscular trimmed body and a lot of "friends" - it makes my wonder if its really him, or he really looks like me and is just collecting groupies.
You serious?? You have a computer generated avatar and you're calling people out for fake pics?
I have a muscular body that I earned using MFP. That's why I have no problem showing it here. The site works if you use it. If you wanna sit around and assume everyone in better shape than you is just lying.. well that's pathetic is what it is.
Sad that you originally made such a snide comment about him and his pic, and his friends list. Brett is a GREAT motivation and I know I am inspired by him as well as others on my FL :flowerforyou: . And to be honest I would rather see his hard work than an avatar - because it is a great inspiration.
As for the OP - I am still perplexed :huh: as to why the first section your friend went to was the chit chat area. That just confuses me because that section would tell me it is fun and games to blow off steam. You can have weight loss and have fun and enjoy life still!0 -
I don't think I even looked at chit chat for a long time. I was a lot more interested in the weight and nutrition boards. I'm sorry he felt insecure, just let him know there are lots of people and even those who post in the "hot threads" usually keep it to those threads. They aren't lording it over everyone else in every thread (not that they are in those threads.) Your friend can add me if he'd like. :flowerforyou:0
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