I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.

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Replies

  • pdworkman
    pdworkman Posts: 1,342 Member
    I see lots of good advice on this thread (LOL).

    I can't quite get my head around your motivation/concern. I feel like you left it out of your original post (and honestly, I haven't read every page in the thread to see if you have expounded further).

    Is your concern that she has an eating disorder? Because that's a whole different conversation that "hey, I'm curious about all your extra skin". You state your reaction, that you were really shocked when you saw all of the loose skin, and you sound concerned and worried, but I'm not sure if it is that you want to confront her with her possible ED, or you want her to get fixed, or you are afraid that's what you're gonna look like, or what. Can you explain further?

    Here is a post from a friend of mine talking about her excess skin after losing 200 lb:

    http://www.balancingthescale.com/2011/07/reality-of-weight-loss.html
  • phatycake
    phatycake Posts: 216
    I wouldnt bring it up. Eventually, you will find out if you remain friends or more.
  • fitchickindc
    fitchickindc Posts: 2 Member
    Totally agree,
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    NOT YOUR BUSINESS... if she wanted you to know she would have already told you!!!
  • BoohBaby
    BoohBaby Posts: 50 Member
    Wow.


    A) I'm sure she's aware. I bet she has a mirror

    B) If you don't want a swift kick in the nuts, I'd keep your mouth shut.
    Yep... this sounds about rite!
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    I can't believe all of the serious responses to this "question." Are you kidding me? What's the OP's follow-up ???...
    "I'm thinking about entering the Douche Olympics by punching my grandma in the face. What do you ladies think about that?"
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    I see nothing wrong with a healthy Vegan diet. There are a lot of reasons people do it. One of those reasons is so they dont have to eat much food in front of other people, an eating disorder.
    If it was me, I would prefer that you were like hey, lets go swimming next week instead of saying I need to workout. It is exercise and would help fill in the loose skin. I personally would be horrified that I had loose skin. On the flip side if I already know it is a problem, a friend asking about it wont hurt. If I dont know it is already an issue, a friend's honest opinion is appreciated.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    I have a mirror, I know Im fat. That being said, I am sure she has a mirror too, and knows exactly what she looks like. ... How she lost the weight is mute. If you want to help her loose the skin, why not do things together that will help her in that arena, with out saying anything.... Unless you are married its really nunya.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    So your profile says you are 32. Assuming she is the same age, a year should be enough time to lose extra skin.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    I want to figure out what caused this loose skin

    I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.

    "It puts the LOTION on its skin, or else it gets the HOSE again!"

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSgngEtNFD9ra8K3KIEYTyasuP_A34qJ1o8oQNM0vWmObkNnoN7&t=1
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
    I want to figure out what caused this loose skin

    I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.

    "It puts the LOTION on its skin, or else it gets the HOSE again!"

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSgngEtNFD9ra8K3KIEYTyasuP_A34qJ1o8oQNM0vWmObkNnoN7&t=1

    LOL!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    You my friend have a lot to learn about women.

    True dat
  • Cathy7794
    Cathy7794 Posts: 223 Member
    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
    Please, PLEASE don't marry that man. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't even think about saying those things to you.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
    What's the OP's follow-up ???...
    "I'm thinking about entering the Douche Olympics by punching my grandma in the face. What do you ladies think about that?"
    Do it. I heard that old ***** had it coming.
  • birkelbk
    birkelbk Posts: 3
    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.

    And you're still with him? I'd seriously reconsider that one.
  • kaseymei
    kaseymei Posts: 164
    Yeah... I think some things are better left unsaid.
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
    Invite her to work out with you!
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    loose skin like that does NOT happen from no exercise. . . that happens from weight loss. . believe i know, it happened to me. . . i wouldnt tell her flat out. . . id say maybe

    "hey you look great! what have u been doing". . . if shes hesitat that means shes doing something bad to get that skinny ( eating disorder, starvation diet, etc). . .

    other then that i would NOT ask her flat out about it, whether ur dying to know or not. . . .she'll tell u when shes ready and because uve only known her for a year she might not feel comfortable telling u...

    if u like the girl and want to have a relationship with her then maybe inquire about it but do it the right way. . if not, id leave that subject to her and her only.

    Loose skin can happen from weight loss with no strength training.

    I second her idea about saying "hey you look great! what have u been doing".

    You do not just ask, "hey what caused all that loose skin?" She is a woman, shes very well aware of her body. She might already feel self conscious about it. Don't make her feel worse. She might never want to wear a bikini again!

    I don't completely get why you want to ask her about it, unless you are wanting to date her. But whatever, it's an interesting forum post lol.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    If she's not asking for your advice then most def. dont share it.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
    Please, PLEASE don't marry that man. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't even think about saying those things to you.
    I second that. It doesn't matter if he's drunk. "Fixing" you shouldn't even be an option in his mind. And you're just gonna get more saggy with age, so better stick with a guy that finds you AND all your flaws perfect.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    Holy replies in 5 minutes.

    Well I guess I got my answer.

    To answer a few replies.

    I know she does no exercise because she told me she doesnt, and for the year that I have known her, she has never said she has done anything active.

    Another question was, why do I wish to know: I want to be able to talk with her about it and let her know there are ways to fix it. She may not know that toning can happen from rapid weight loss when loose skin appears. If she is living with this and is unaware of a way to fix it..I figured I could help. I'm seeing by the replies that this was a bad thought process.

    Anyways, Thank you everyone for the replies...I guess I'll just keep it to myself.

    Sorry, but loose skin cannot easily be "fixed". If one has battled weight problems all their lives, been extremely heavy, is older, and/or had children the loose skin is a fact of life. It's hurtful to point out to us how we don't meet the unrealistic standards of defying gravity that the high fashion models and movie industry have set for us. Exercising would be a good idea but I see posts on here by MFP members that have exercised their tails off and still have loose skin. Believe me, it's the thing I'm looking forward to the LEAST when I get down to a healthy weight and it won't help that people are staring and judging.
  • bhfood
    bhfood Posts: 77
    being a nurse one of my first thoughts is rapid wt loss could be from disease or from anorexia. Also, It would not be good to call it "confronting". That implies confrontation. This will make anyone defensive. Like the one person said . she probably does already know about it. I lost 20 lbs awhile back but no strength training so I have this saggy arm skin that I hate. I'm hoping it will go away with my working with dumbells. starting at 5 lbs. Maybe you could suggest working with dumbells with you. and she might respond well to that. Otherwise definitely don't bring attention to it.
  • rockchalk03
    rockchalk03 Posts: 54
    Sometimes silence is golden.
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
    Dont say anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.. you are her friend.. and if shes comfy enough to open up she will GO TO YOU and ask/talk about it...
    and basically its caused from a number of things... and loosing wt REALLY fast along w/no real exercise is DEF a cause for it!!
    exercise/toning and w/weights n all that helps big time.. and of course age plays a part also..
    doing MFP you should be fine and exercise too! :drinker:
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    If you really want to know, just ask. If she's a close friend she shouldn't be too offended. If she does get really offended, then she's a weirdo. Why would you be offended by your friend's genuine concern?
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
    Sometimes silence is golden.

    BUMP
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.

    Hmmm I'm usually one not to promote thread high-jacking but...

    Your fiance sounds like an a-hole. Drunk or not it's disrespectful and degrading.

    Yup, this is called emotional abuse. Drunk is no excuse. There are lots of guys out there who can drink and not stoop to abusing their partners. If he can't, then he should recognize that he shouldn't drink, or you should recognize the abuse and move on. (I'll hijack too because this lady is being hurt by an abusive partner.)
  • maremare312
    maremare312 Posts: 1,143 Member
    Unless you're her best friend or her boyfriend, keep yo damn mouth shut, boy! Ay-yi-yi. Do you know nothing about women?
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
    Holy replies in 5 minutes.

    Well I guess I got my answer.

    To answer a few replies.

    I know she does no exercise because she told me she doesnt, and for the year that I have known her, she has never said she has done anything active.

    Another question was, why do I wish to know: I want to be able to talk with her about it and let her know there are ways to fix it. She may not know that toning can happen from rapid weight loss when loose skin appears. If she is living with this and is unaware of a way to fix it..I figured I could help. I'm seeing by the replies that this was a bad thought process.

    Anyways, Thank you everyone for the replies...I guess I'll just keep it to myself.

    Sorry, but loose skin cannot easily be "fixed". If one has battled weight problems all their lives, been extremely heavy, is older, and/or had children the loose skin is a fact of life. It's hurtful to point out to us how we don't meet the unrealistic standards of defying gravity that the high fashion models and movie industry have set for us. Exercising would be a good idea but I see posts on here by MFP members that have exercised their tails off and still have loose skin. Believe me, it's the thing I'm looking forward to the LEAST when I get down to a healthy weight and it won't help that people are staring and judging.
    Not to mention that it's not anyone's business to fix anyone else unless they ask you for help. If you're really a friend, you should accept her the way she is. Loose skin is not a danger to her, so saying, "There are ways to fix your loose skin," is not all that different from saying, "You look gross, but I know of ways to make you look less gross because surely you're concerned about how gross you look."
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
    Just hit it and move on...

    Ok have to admit first reaction was to laugh at this because such a guy response.

    Girl response, don't point out things because we tend to them OBSESS over them. If it's not hurting you (other then your eyes) then don't worry about it. I think I'd be more worried if she had a eating disorder.

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