I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.
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Unless he starts dating her? How is that conversation going to go??Unless you start dating her, leave it alone. This is not a friend "category" topic. As others have said, it's her own body. She is obviously aware of the issues and doesn't need you to point them out.
"Hey baby... I really enjoyed that movie last night. Sooo funny. Hey, speaking of funny things... why do you look like you're melting??"
Just a guess, but sex is probably not an option that night.
This is funny! But really why does it make it all right if he is dating her and not if he is just her friend.
Because he has to sleep with her.0 -
It's a friendly thing to actually want to be involved in the health of your friends. It is not a problem that you want to ask her these things. Just show that you are concerned and interested. Just bring it up to her that you have noticed her figure and are curious about it. Once you bring it up and understand, you can get passed it and maybe even become a bit closer. It may sting her a little bit, but I'm sure it is better to have someone actually ask about it rather than stare. People are so scared to be open and discuss things with other people, get over it, we are curious creatures, questions shouldn't be seen as a bad thing.0
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Why would you want to talk to her about it?
Mind your own business.
^^ This.0 -
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It is a beautiful thing when we all agree :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
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Why is it that women want equal rights, but on a topic like this... every day at school I am asked, what are you doing to lose weight... how is your weight loss coming.... And the ones asking are female. I NEVER TOLD THEM, I WAS TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!
To the opening poster, I would suggest doing it in a silent method. Asking her to join you on a walk somewhere, play a game of tennis, or something, what would help but don't inform her why. She will be having fun, and you can build on the relationship while you are helping her...
not this, really, not this0 -
It's a friendly thing to actually want to be involved in the health of your friends. It is not a problem that you want to ask her these things. Just show that you are concerned and interested. Just bring it up to her that you have noticed her figure and are curious about it. Once you bring it up and understand, you can get passed it and maybe even become a bit closer. It may sting her a little bit, but I'm sure it is better to have someone actually ask about it rather than stare. People are so scared to be open and discuss things with other people, get over it, we are curious creatures, questions shouldn't be seen as a bad thing.
Agree^^ I personally don`t see it as a bad thing to be curious about your friend, and wanting to help her. Who knows, she probably appreciates the help. If a friend could tell me how to get rid of my stretch marks, Im all ears! Don`t let nobody put you down, or feel like your "less" because you asked this question. It Really wasn`t that serious imo!0 -
unless you have some real good tips for your friend, don't say anything the girl probaby came out of a huge shell, don't put her back there.0
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Keep it to yourself. I had a friend point out my stretch marks one summer by the pool and ever since then I've avoided wearing a bathing suit like the plague because I'm so self conscious and loathe my body. I'm positive she's well aware of the issue. Unless you're concerned for her health because she's starving herself and not taking care of her body properly, then keep your mouth shut.0
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Um, why does it matter to you? Honestly?
If you say anything to her, you're going to make her more self conscious. If she wants to talk about it, she will.0 -
Don't
Say
Anything
At
All.0 -
It is a beautiful thing when we all agree :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I DONT AGREE. My friends are brutally honest and my fiancee is also. I couldnt be in a relationship that was not honest. It makes me a little sad that so many people think dishonesty is the way to go. :noway: Maybe that is why so many people fail at relationships...0 -
Women are often self-conscious about their physical imperfections and its 10x worse when a guy notices. So don't bring it up. And its not like she can fix the problem easily. It's not something a trip to the salon can fix. Surgery to remove excess skin is expensive and usually not covered by insurance because it's cosmetic. If you care about her feelings I would pretend u haven't noticed. Even if SHE brings it up, TREAD LIGHTLY, pal. If I found the courage to bring up a sensitive subject and a guy friend was all "uh ya, I noticed. that's nasty" I would be so hurt! I think unless you have a solution you shouldn't be bringing her problems into focus. Help an addict friend get into rehab, help an abused friend get out of a bad relationship. But what are you hoping to accomplish by shedding light on her excess skin? That she will stop wearing bikinis? Trust me, if you mention this topic you won't ever see her in anything less than fully clothed. Probably even wearing a parka. So I hope you aren't feeling romantic toward her, cuz you are guaranteed to never see her naked ever ever if you have this discussion.
How does she bring up the subject of your imperfections?0 -
Maybe she didn't lose it fast... maybe she just had a TON of weight to lose. Sometimes no matter how slow you take it off, there's just loose skin. Why exactly do you want to talk to her about it? I don't really understand your intentions.0
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If she is rocking a bikini then she probably is not concerned with fixing it. Even if she is, unless she personally asks you for help, keep your mouth shut. It may seem like a problem to you but maybe it isn't for her.0
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Tbh I would like to be told. I say tell her. And run.
because you wouldn't notice you have saggy skin? Really? REALLY?0 -
It is a beautiful thing when we all agree :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I DONT AGREE. My friends are brutally honest and my fiancee is also. I couldnt be in a relationship that was not honest. It makes me a little sad that so many people think dishonesty is the way to go. :noway: Maybe that is why so many people fail at relationships...
Um, it's not being dishonest when she hasn't asked his F-ing opinion. If she was like, "hey do you think my extra skin looks bad" and then said, "no it looks fantastic, i love it!' THEN it would be dishonest. But, for him to just say "Hey, you have a lot of extra skin sagging all over you and it looks terrible" is just unnecessary when she's probably painfully aware of it.
PLEASE take the time to UNDERSTAND what you're reading before you think you're better than everyone else.0 -
How is this a man's problem?0
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Wow.
A) I'm sure she's aware. I bet she has a mirror
If you don't want a swift kick in the nuts, I'd keep your mouth shut.
Always got to be on the look out for the swift kick.0 -
It is a beautiful thing when we all agree :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I DONT AGREE. My friends are brutally honest and my fiancee is also. I couldnt be in a relationship that was not honest. It makes me a little sad that so many people think dishonesty is the way to go. :noway: Maybe that is why so many people fail at relationships...
Um, it's not being dishonest when she hasn't asked his F-ing opinion. If she was like, "hey do you think my extra skin looks bad" and then said, "no it looks fantastic, i love it!' THEN it would be dishonest. But, for him to just say "Hey, you have a lot of extra skin sagging all over you and it looks terrible" is just unnecessary when she's probably painfully aware of it.
PLEASE take the time to UNDERSTAND what you're reading before you think you're better than everyone else.
There are better ways to phrase things but I will always think it is better to be honest with the people we care about.
I never said I was better than everyone else. At most I made a statement that "maybe" relationships dont work because people believe not telling how they feel is the best option.0 -
You want advice on how to point out her flaws?
Yeah, no.0 -
So the two reasons add up to only one reason - you're a *****. You aren't trying to accomplish anything other than satisfying your own curiosity. Who are you, Columbo? Jesus! You aren't going to help her in any way, so why would you even think about humiliating someone like this.My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
Here's a bit of a girl's advice.... imagine someone coming and asking about a guy with a particularly small package. She can tell because she's seen him wearing tight pants. How can she bring up with him the subject that his tool is incredibly small without him getting defensive?0 -
I have lost around 170 lbs and still shooting for another 25 or 35 approx. now that said I have loose skin, I was obese for years and skin does not go back that easy in most cases and especially the longer you are overweight. Age is a factor as well and likely had I been able to work with a trainer whilst losing the weight it may have been somewhat better. But my arms and bad for example and it would likely not be a topic I would like someone to approach me about, I know how they look but you can only so so much and you just accept what IS.
Take the suggestions of the masses here and keep mum on the topic.0 -
God, you're an idiot.0
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ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???0
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So why is this your problem?0
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Unless she asks, then NO. Just no. Unless you want to die, then it's up to you. Otherwise, butt out.0
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Smh, another classic case of a man about to insert his foot in his mouth (and get his *kitten* kicked afterwards!)0
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http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.0 -
ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.0
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