I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.
Replies
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I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
OMG WTF?!? Why is this loser your FIANCE?? I'd rather be alone forever than deal with that level of assholery. Srsly. I'd totally be using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet skids and pissing in his beer any chance I got if I stuck around so I'd do us both a favor and boot his *kitten* out of my life. >:(0 -
personally, I would be really just too self-conscious to show up in a bikini. my thought is that if she has a guts to show up at a public place like that when she isn't afraid of her weight loss. Just bring it up casually and tell her that your loosing weight too and i think she'll understand
hope i helped
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I agree. That's abuse. Why are you with this guy? I hope for your sake you don't marry him and find that the drunken abuse becomes more than just verbal once you're hitched.I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
OMG WTF?!? Why is this loser your FIANCE?? I'd rather be alone forever than deal with that level of assholery. Srsly. I'd totally be using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet skids and pissing in his beer any chance I got if I stuck around so I'd do us both a favor and boot his *kitten* out of my life. >:(0 -
Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).
Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!
/\ This! Only she said it really nicely...
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seriously, leave it alone. Not your business, don't be that guy.0
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Smh, another classic case of a man about to insert his foot in his mouth (and get his *kitten* kicked afterwards!)
All guys aren't this stupid. Don't generalize.0 -
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
so in your opinion, I should go up to one coworker and tell her that her shoes are hideous and she looks ridiculous trying to walk in them, then up to another and inform her that those pants are WAY too tight and look horrible on her *kitten* and love handles, then "honestly" point out to my boss that I noticed another coworker wearing a shirt that was against our dress code....
right? I should? even though it is none of my business and doesn't directly affect me?
if she asked him "does this look bad?" he could be honest then...
but randomly approaching her to ask why she HAS saggy skin is not "being honest", it's being NOSY!0 -
ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.
What does this have to do with not being rude to a person by shining a light on their imperfections for the sole purpose of satisfying your own morbid curiosity? Sometimes it's more important to be sensitive to people than to be brutally honest. Your argument is a straw man.0 -
personally, I would be really just too self-conscious to show up in a bikini. my thought is that if she has a guts to show up at a public place like that when she isn't afraid of her weight loss. Just bring it up casually and tell her that your loosing weight too and i think she'll understand
hope i helped
Thank you for saying it is ok to talk to his friend :flowerforyou:0 -
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
So If I think my friend is a bit ugly in general I should tell them?
This situation would be a bit like someone telling me I have freckles, (but a million times worse) they know what they look like.0 -
bahahahahaha. You must be kidding because you can't seriously think it would even be a remotely good idea to bring it up. Don't talk about it unless she brings it up. If you bring it up, you're 1)prying, 2)an idiot, and 3)ruining a friendship.
This^^^^0 -
ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.
Well I think this is a little different.. Going up to someone and saying "GOD, you look AWFUL" is just a f*uckwit thing to do. How would you like it if someone came up to you and told you that you were ugly?
Unless they ask or is comes up in conversation, don't go out of your way to bring someone down.0 -
It is a beautiful thing when we all agree :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I DONT AGREE. My friends are brutally honest and my fiancee is also. I couldnt be in a relationship that was not honest. It makes me a little sad that so many people think dishonesty is the way to go. :noway: Maybe that is why so many people fail at relationships...
Um, it's not being dishonest when she hasn't asked his F-ing opinion. If she was like, "hey do you think my extra skin looks bad" and then said, "no it looks fantastic, i love it!' THEN it would be dishonest. But, for him to just say "Hey, you have a lot of extra skin sagging all over you and it looks terrible" is just unnecessary when she's probably painfully aware of it.
PLEASE take the time to UNDERSTAND what you're reading before you think you're better than everyone else.
^Exactly0 -
ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.
What does this have to do with not being rude to a person by shining a light on their imperfections for the sole purpose of satisfying your own morbid curiosity? Sometimes it's more important to be sensitive to people than to be brutally honest. Your argument is a straw man.
Who said it is morbid curiosity? It wasnt me. Why cant he just be curious? He has known her for a year. Maybe he knows some ways to fill out skin. Maybe he is going through the same thing. Maybe she isnt self conscious about it.0 -
I wouldnt say anything at all... to be honest it could ruin your friendship.. so what if she has loose skin... it mighten bother her as she's in a bikini so why would it bother you?????0
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Who said it is morbid curiosity? It wasnt me. Why cant he just be curious? He has known her for a year. Maybe he knows some ways to fill out skin. Maybe he is going through the same thing. Maybe she isnt self conscious about it.
And maybe she is. In which case, he should shut the **** up0 -
Ok here is the thing: I have a friend who I have known for about a year. For that time, I really never saw her in skimpy clothing but she looked very skinny and in shape...she also claimed she was a vegan and dident eat very much on top of that fact.
The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.
I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.
So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
Advice: Go cut off your penis. You clearly should not reproduce.0 -
So the two reasons add up to only one reason - you're a *****. You aren't trying to accomplish anything other than satisfying your own curiosity. Who are you, Columbo? Jesus! You aren't going to help her in any way, so why would you even think about humiliating someone like this.My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
Here's a bit of a girl's advice.... imagine someone coming and asking about a guy with a particularly small package. She can tell because she's seen him wearing tight pants. How can she bring up with him the subject that his tool is incredibly small without him getting defensive?
LOL! Because yes, men APPRECIATE having their imperfections pointed out! (Dear original poster, on what planet were you raised to think that it might be okay? If *said girl* brings it up, it is a safe topic...unless you start playing the expert and tell her how to get rid of it by *just* exercising. Unless you have personally experienced this, you keep your mouth SHUT, and let her lead the direction of the conversation.)
Signed,
Wife of 26+ years whose hubby has learned this... :laugh:0 -
If she wants to talk about it, she will bring it up. Otherwise, pretend you saw nothing. It's none of your business, as nice as your intentions might be.
Yes, this^^^^^ I'm sure your heart is in the right place, and it's probably just curiosity, but if I were you, I'd say nothing. As all other women responded: we are aware of our body. VERY aware. Too aware, lol. It'll come up if and when the time is right.0 -
I wouldn't say anything at all......there is no way to bring it up without offending her.....or at least hurting her feelings.0
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http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
so in your opinion, I should go up to one coworker and tell her that her shoes are hideous and she looks ridiculous trying to walk in them, then up to another and inform her that those pants are WAY too tight and look horrible on her *kitten* and love handles, then "honestly" point out to my boss that I noticed another coworker wearing a shirt that was against our dress code....
right? I should? even though it is none of my business and doesn't directly affect me?
if she asked him "does this look bad?" he could be honest then...
but randomly approaching her to ask why she HAS saggy skin is not "being honest", it's being NOSY!
I dont feel the need to be honest to everyone, just those that I chose to have meaningful relationships with.0 -
The good news in this thread is that there is a very high percentage of people here who are polite and would consider someone's feelings first. My faith in humanity is safe! :flowerforyou:0
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I'm not sure why this is a "problem" for you when it's her body. I agree with others about keeping your mouth shut.0
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ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.
Well I think this is a little different.. Going up to someone and saying "GOD, you look AWFUL" is just a f*uckwit thing to do. How would you like it if someone came up to you and told you that you were ugly?
Unless they ask or is comes up in conversation, don't go out of your way to bring someone down.
That is their opinion and they are entitled to it. Is there something specific? Does my butt look saggy in these jeans? Is it my hair? I talk to a lot of my friends about the way we look and ways to fix our perceived imperfections. No one takes offense. Things only come up in conversation when I sit down and talk to my friends. Maybe it is just the type of friends I have. Maybe this guy's friend is like that and it is ok.0 -
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
So because he has a problem with his friend's loose skin he HAS to bring it up or he's being dishonest?? That's ridiculous. I think a lot of things about a lot of people, doesn't mean I'm obligated to speak out about it. Half the time there's no point in saying anything anyway, especially if nothing good is likely to come of it - this would be one of those times.0 -
A bit ugly in general would be a weird thing to say. A bit ugly sounds like mostly pretty and a little bit ugly to me. I dont think anyone is 100% ugly or pretty.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
So If I think my friend is a bit ugly in general I should tell them?
This situation would be a bit like someone telling me I have freckles, (but a million times worse) they know what they look like.
Do you think it is rude that I know my fiancee normally likes natural red head heads better than blondes? I dont. It says we have a better fit than any red head. I am not out dying my hair either.
It would be like if I had a friend that had a saggy butt, we talked about it and googled a bunch of butt exercises to do together.0 -
That is what the dictionary says.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonestummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
adj.
1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
dis·honest·ly adv.
Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.
Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
So because he has a problem with his friend's loose skin he HAS to bring it up or he's being dishonest?? That's ridiculous. I think a lot of things about a lot of people, doesn't mean I'm obligated to speak out about it. Half the time there's no point in saying anything anyway, especially if nothing good is likely to come of it - this would be one of those times.0 -
It is a beautiful thing when we all agree :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I DONT AGREE. My friends are brutally honest and my fiancee is also. I couldnt be in a relationship that was not honest. It makes me a little sad that so many people think dishonesty is the way to go. :noway: Maybe that is why so many people fail at relationships...
Brutal is the key word here. My 30 year relationship was built on compassion and empathy. It goes a long way.0 -
I agree. That's abuse. Why are you with this guy? I hope for your sake you don't marry him and find that the drunken abuse becomes more than just verbal once you're hitched.I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
OMG WTF?!? Why is this loser your FIANCE?? I'd rather be alone forever than deal with that level of assholery. Srsly. I'd totally be using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet skids and pissing in his beer any chance I got if I stuck around so I'd do us both a favor and boot his *kitten* out of my life. >:(
RIGHT?! Please believe that type of crap does NOT improve once you get married, quite the OPPOSITE, actually. Run while you still can. Run far and run hard.
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When I was a pre-teen, I grew about eight inches taller in less than a year. I got stretch marks on my arms, my calves, my hips. I was horrified, but somehow I managed to move on with my life, despite the fact that my body had a flaw. (sarcasm) A few years later, I was walking up stairs in high school, and a boy behind me said 'Hey... UpEarly... did you know you have stretch marks on the back of your legs. I thought only fat people got those! Why do you have them?'
He's lucky he didn't end up shoved to the bottom of the stairs. He got a death stare (and then later, I went and cried in the girl's bathroom)
The lesson to be learned...
Every woman is acutely aware of the physical flaws she bears. She does not need some tactless Y-chromosome pointing them out - asking if she's aware of her imperfections and wanting to discuss how they happened.
To the original poster... I suggest you just keep your mouth closed and hope she doesn't know what you're thinking.
P.S. Loose skin and skinny fat are not the same thing at all!0
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