I'm everyone's soul mate, until they realize I'm curvy!
yobby1969
Posts: 80 Member
I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!
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Replies
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Losers! Don't waste a second on them.0
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Guys say stupid things. Sadly for some of those guys it's true for a select few.
When a guy says something hurtful like that to me I've used this line. "I see, clearly I accepted a date with some guy thinking he was a man. Have a nice day."
A real man wouldn't dump you just because of that. What jerks did that to you from here? That's just not right especially since they already know you're working towards a fitter healthier you! Just grrr... that makes me angry!0 -
I'm with you. They're not male models themselves! I guess we're not supposed to notice their thinning hair, graying beard, or spreading waistline. You're doing great. You've lost 30 pounds! That's fantastic! Not to mention getting healthier. Keep concentrating on that and forget them!0
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Wow! That is the most God awful lie on the face of the earth. Do not let these sad saps make you feel down. You are gorgeous, and you 100% DO NOT have to prove anything to anybody! I hope you meet some REAL men someday, but until then, ignore the douche bags.. and keep on being your beautiful self!0
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Glad you recognize we aren't all that way.0
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I hear ya! Every guy I talk to says I'd make the perfect girlfriend if I lost "insert pounds here". I'm doing this for my health and when all those losers come back and realize how fabulous I'll feel and look by the end of it-I'll give them exactly what they gave me, a brush off. If you can't appreciate who I am, at any size, I don't need you in my life.0
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Guys that say stupid crap like that are not men.
I am 275 lbs and my husband loves me and didnt just settle. I was 198 lbs when we met and you know what he loved on me? He love my thick thighs and big butt. Yup thats what he loved. I am trying to lose and get down to 140 lbs but he says that he hopes it doesnt take away my thighs and butt because he likes to have something to hold onto. Just focus on you and that good man will come around in time.0 -
Whoa! Poor girl, sounds like you are surrounded by a-holes!! Don't listen to a word they say and rock your curves!0
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When you're online dating, just say up front that you're overweight and working hard to change that. The shallow ones won't waste your time and you can spend your energy finding someone who wants to be with you for you.0
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be proud of your curves real women have curves0
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My boyfriend told me yesterday that I didn't need to lose any more than I already have (and he said I didn't need to lose any to begin with because he said I was beautiful then) because he "wants something to hold on to". Hehe. Don't worry... there are plenty of QUALITY men who will love your curves as much as you do.
With a good 30lbs to go (I've lost almost 90 now), I do realize that as I get closer to my end goal, there will definitely be less to hold on to, but I'll stop when I'm healthy and when I like what I see in the mirror. At the end of the day, you need to do what's right for you and once you're comfortable with how your body looks, stop losing and don't listen to anyone else!0 -
I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!
Total B.S. YOu are gorgeous! I will never be some stick thin supermodel, but I met the most amazing guy last year and we are getting married next fall! They are out there, just keep on doing what your doing, love yourself and it will happen!0 -
be proud of your curves real women have curves
And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....0 -
When a guy says something hurtful like that to me I've used this line. "I see, clearly I accepted a date with some guy thinking he was a man. Have a nice day."
Seriously. It's either that, or ask him when he's planning on getting back in shape, cause I bet not one of those jerks was.0 -
I'm not here to judge anyone and there body shape!! I have a lot of respect for woman and accept who they are and what they want to change in there life and health:flowerforyou:0
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When you're online dating, just say up front that you're overweight and working hard to change that. The shallow ones won't waste your time and you can spend your energy finding someone who wants to be with you for you.
This makes a lot of sense.
Sorry but for every overweight woman's "why don't men want to date me once they know I'm heavy?" posts, there is a man asking "why can't women be honest about their body type BEFORE I meet them?"0 -
I like curvy women, most men want a women to have a little meat on thier bones. Nice to cuddle with, my wife is 135 lbs but is curvy and soft, love it.0
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Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time!
This is stupid. PERSONALITY will win over pretty much every time no matter what size you are with the right man! Putting up some realistic shots on fb that show you from head to toe could weed out the bad apples from the get go. Embrace the curves! You've got what I will never have
be glad 0 -
Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get.
did you tell him that all women want very wealthy men who haven't lost their hair, but we settle for what we can get? :laugh:
(disclaimer: i know, I know, not all women are like that!)0 -
be proud of your curves real women have curves
And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....
I think you missed my point, men dont want stick figures we want women who have shape to them not to look like a plank of wood flat all over0 -
You look great..and 40 is the new 30..
And stop meeting agreeing to meet guys off of FB..socially inept guys date from FB..you don't want to date a mouth breather or a momma's boy.0 -
screw them. you'll never please everyone so don't even bother. when you lose all the weight, you'll hear "OMG you're way too thin I like girls with curves." To hell with that just be happy for yourself. I had a guy tell me I was too tall for him......... that's his problem GF I didn't dwell on it or through my heels out. Just keep moving forward......................0
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Ugh!!! I so understand what you are going through. Why do men think they have the right to give any advice about our bodies. I have had the same experience on online dating sites and I would have a really cute head shot but when they would meet me in person and see I was overweight, they wouldn't call again. These men were nothing to look at either I must say. I have a great guy that I'm with now. But he is really skinny. So I know people look at us strange and judge him for going out with a "big girl" Anyways, I have learned that no matter what size or shape you are, some men will never be pleased. I just started this journey and I know it won't be easy. So happy for you about your weight loss!! I hope I can do as well as you 0
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Men and women both discriminate but it's so hard if you don't have full body pics up for them to see. If I were dating online, I would make sure I have full body pics so I wouldn't encounter curvy girl bias.0
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A lot of men are wonderful, not everyone is going to be into you no matter what you look like...Look at Halle Berry for example, she's gorgeous and her (ex)husband still went off with other women... there are just some nasty men out there. There are nasty women out there too. Have a little patience and you'll find a good one!!! 0
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"Real women have curves"
My uterus suggests otherwise.0 -
Thanks for the support! I'm not online dating, these are just guys that are friends of friends and message me "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" We start talking and they think I'm amazing, funny..blah blah blah...I feel like I need to tell them I'm kind of an amazon.....5'9 and wear heels...plus I've got major curves...huge boobs and booty to match...I'm like Jessica Rabbit, if she had kids and like cheeseburgers! This doesn't detour them...they love a real girl..blah blah blah....meet in person and wah wah wah...nothing! Btw..these winners are all old frat boys, clinging to their glory days and are attracted to only petite, super thin girls..every time!!! WTF? I don't get it!0
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A man that is truly meant for you wouldn't react that way...you wouldn't want to get stuck with somebody who doesn't love all of you anyways. Example...my husband has known me for over 20 years skinny, fat, in between, and right now I have 50 plus pounds to lose. He is so worried about me losing too much weight because he loves me for me right now and doesn't desire anybody but me, and in his mind by me losing weight I will be a changed person. Well that's what I figure, I'm no psych...lol My point is that if a man truly loves you none of that stuff matters. If it does he will be a positive force in your life to help you get healthy without belittling you or making you feel any less because you are overweight. A man who truly loves you, loves all of you! I hope you find a good one!0
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Haha....too true!0
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be proud of your curves real women have curves
And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....
I think you missed my point, men dont want stick figures we want women who have shape to them not to look like a plank of wood flat all over
No, I'm not. You obviously don't know how to compliment one size without insulting the other.
As for the OP, you will find someone who loves the way you look. Every guy has different tastes and some like thin women and some like thicker women. Don't let the the vocal *kitten* ruin the nice guys for you.0
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