I'm everyone's soul mate, until they realize I'm curvy!

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yobby1969
yobby1969 Posts: 80 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!
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Replies

  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
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    Losers! Don't waste a second on them.
  • SelenityJ
    SelenityJ Posts: 168 Member
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    Guys say stupid things. Sadly for some of those guys it's true for a select few.

    When a guy says something hurtful like that to me I've used this line. "I see, clearly I accepted a date with some guy thinking he was a man. Have a nice day."

    A real man wouldn't dump you just because of that. What jerks did that to you from here? That's just not right especially since they already know you're working towards a fitter healthier you! Just grrr... that makes me angry!
  • poohmarsh
    poohmarsh Posts: 11 Member
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    I'm with you. They're not male models themselves! I guess we're not supposed to notice their thinning hair, graying beard, or spreading waistline. You're doing great. You've lost 30 pounds! That's fantastic! Not to mention getting healthier. Keep concentrating on that and forget them!
  • Missysaurus_Rex
    Missysaurus_Rex Posts: 21
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    Wow! That is the most God awful lie on the face of the earth. Do not let these sad saps make you feel down. You are gorgeous, and you 100% DO NOT have to prove anything to anybody! I hope you meet some REAL men someday, but until then, ignore the douche bags.. and keep on being your beautiful self!
  • scottg1024
    scottg1024 Posts: 224
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    Glad you recognize we aren't all that way.
  • cleonar01
    cleonar01 Posts: 16 Member
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    I hear ya! Every guy I talk to says I'd make the perfect girlfriend if I lost "insert pounds here". I'm doing this for my health and when all those losers come back and realize how fabulous I'll feel and look by the end of it-I'll give them exactly what they gave me, a brush off. If you can't appreciate who I am, at any size, I don't need you in my life.
  • mrsringor2011
    mrsringor2011 Posts: 40 Member
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    Guys that say stupid crap like that are not men.
    I am 275 lbs and my husband loves me and didnt just settle. I was 198 lbs when we met and you know what he loved on me? He love my thick thighs and big butt. Yup thats what he loved. I am trying to lose and get down to 140 lbs but he says that he hopes it doesnt take away my thighs and butt because he likes to have something to hold onto. Just focus on you and that good man will come around in time.
  • Behl9
    Behl9 Posts: 95 Member
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    Whoa! Poor girl, sounds like you are surrounded by a-holes!! Don't listen to a word they say and rock your curves!
  • maremare312
    maremare312 Posts: 1,143 Member
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    When you're online dating, just say up front that you're overweight and working hard to change that. The shallow ones won't waste your time and you can spend your energy finding someone who wants to be with you for you.
  • PilotX
    PilotX Posts: 233 Member
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    be proud of your curves real women have curves
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
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    My boyfriend told me yesterday that I didn't need to lose any more than I already have (and he said I didn't need to lose any to begin with because he said I was beautiful then) because he "wants something to hold on to". Hehe. Don't worry... there are plenty of QUALITY men who will love your curves as much as you do.

    With a good 30lbs to go (I've lost almost 90 now), I do realize that as I get closer to my end goal, there will definitely be less to hold on to, but I'll stop when I'm healthy and when I like what I see in the mirror. At the end of the day, you need to do what's right for you and once you're comfortable with how your body looks, stop losing and don't listen to anyone else!
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    I am so frustrated with men!! I am tired of them thinking I am their soul mate based on my fb profile pic, talking me to go out with them. Then when we meet, they realize I am a real 40 yr old , curvy girl and feel the need to tell me what I need to change to be worthy of their middle aged advances!. Third guy to say something to me like that! I've lost 30 and feeling good. I like my curves and guess what...some guys love my curves! This one guy that I went to school with messaged me and asked me for a full body shot, I said that I didn't know him, and he said..what did you get fat or something? Like I have to justify anything to him! Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time! I swear, I'm gonna take them out!!! It messed with my head a bit. I felt like I gained 600 pounds immediately. I hate that I let some idiot(s) get to me. I have to remember that I'm doing this for me. To be healthy, and athletic again. And....I happen to know that's not true anyway. I've dated many guys,who were not pretending to be into me..they were INTO me! And heavier than I am now..I'm all done..sheesh!!!

    Total B.S. YOu are gorgeous! I will never be some stick thin supermodel, but I met the most amazing guy last year and we are getting married next fall! They are out there, just keep on doing what your doing, love yourself and it will happen!
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    be proud of your curves real women have curves

    And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....
  • Karen_LM
    Karen_LM Posts: 67 Member
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    When a guy says something hurtful like that to me I've used this line. "I see, clearly I accepted a date with some guy thinking he was a man. Have a nice day."

    Seriously. It's either that, or ask him when he's planning on getting back in shape, cause I bet not one of those jerks was.
  • rmartin72
    rmartin72 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I'm not here to judge anyone and there body shape!! I have a lot of respect for woman and accept who they are and what they want to change in there life and health:flowerforyou:
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    When you're online dating, just say up front that you're overweight and working hard to change that. The shallow ones won't waste your time and you can spend your energy finding someone who wants to be with you for you.

    This makes a lot of sense.

    Sorry but for every overweight woman's "why don't men want to date me once they know I'm heavy?" posts, there is a man asking "why can't women be honest about their body type BEFORE I meet them?"
  • TeddyBear47
    TeddyBear47 Posts: 200 Member
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    I like curvy women, most men want a women to have a little meat on thier bones. Nice to cuddle with, my wife is 135 lbs but is curvy and soft, love it.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get. He told me that no one would ask me out if I was overweight, unless the guy had been turned down by the other thinner girls...and that thin wins over pretty every time!

    This is stupid. PERSONALITY will win over pretty much every time no matter what size you are with the right man! Putting up some realistic shots on fb that show you from head to toe could weed out the bad apples from the get go. Embrace the curves! You've got what I will never have :) be glad
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
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    Another guy friend of mine said that all guys want supermodels, but then they settle for what they can get.

    did you tell him that all women want very wealthy men who haven't lost their hair, but we settle for what we can get? :laugh:

    (disclaimer: i know, I know, not all women are like that!)
  • PilotX
    PilotX Posts: 233 Member
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    be proud of your curves real women have curves

    And the ones that don't are obviously fake and not real....


    I think you missed my point, men dont want stick figures we want women who have shape to them not to look like a plank of wood flat all over

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