I'm everyone's soul mate, until they realize I'm curvy!

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Replies

  • I know how you feel! Yesterday I got a message that said word for word.."If you work out 5 days a week, why do you have big *kitten* momma hips."

    I do work out 5 days a week, and because of that I am a lot smaller than I used to be. When I started running I weighed 270 pounds, and now I am 188. It still sucked though...I have fought so hard to get here, and I am still too "fat". I feel like I will never be good enough for someone at this point.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,618 Member
    Maybe you just have bad taste in men? I've never been hated on for my weight. I gained 80 lbs since first meeting my husband, most was his fault you know, getting me pregnant 3 times LOL.. but still.. Up YOUR standards for men a bit, and you'll find one that's worth it.
  • Thanks for the support! I'm not online dating, these are just guys that are friends of friends and message me "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" We start talking and they think I'm amazing, funny..blah blah blah...I feel like I need to tell them I'm kind of an amazon.....5'9 and wear heels...plus I've got major curves...huge boobs and booty to match...I'm like Jessica Rabbit, if she had kids and like cheeseburgers! This doesn't detour them...they love a real girl..blah blah blah....meet in person and wah wah wah...nothing! Btw..these winners are all old frat boys, clinging to their glory days and are attracted to only petite, super thin girls..every time!!! WTF? I don't get it!

    It really sounds like your curves aren't the problem. If you were actually honest and forthright about your body type before meeting, and they still [enthusiastically] agreed to meet, then obviously they're *not* attracted solely to "petite, super thin girls... every time". They obviously expected one thing and were presented with a different reality.

    I would add, however, that comparing yourself to Jessica Rabbit will set any man's expectations unrealistically high. A guy may fancy himself to be like SuperMan, but offering such an ultra-masculine character as a frame of reference to a girl before meeting her would be a fantastic recipe for FAIL.
  • Remember this....
    Its about YOU! Not them. Hold your head up high and strut your stuff.
    Big Girls do "WIN" in the end.....:flowerforyou:
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    When you're online dating, just say up front that you're overweight and working hard to change that. The shallow ones won't waste your time and you can spend your energy finding someone who wants to be with you for you.
    This. And lets be honest here, we all have body types we like, i'm sure you don't find EVERY guy physically attractive. They might be rude in the way they put it, but if you are honest about what you are you won't be meeting up with people who you're not the type of, the same as i'm sure you don't want to be meeting up with guys who aren't your type. At least with the rude ones you found out they were a jerk early on rather than wasting more of your time on them :P

    Well done on losing all that weight though.

    ETA: I should mention that I haven't read past the first page, its kind of a long thread.
  • Woodmangler
    Woodmangler Posts: 96 Member
    So sad... so many people, so shallow. No live experiences at all, and not willing to experience anything other than what feels good rubbing against their little pee pee. Frustrates me to no end, since all men end up taking a hit for these dorks...

    *sigh*

    Listen, they wouldn't know "soul" if it dropped from the sky and wiggle on their face.

    PLEASE do not settle.. try and be patient and slowly weed your way through the .... weeds.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 2,018 Member
    Also, FFS people! Unless you are 2 dimensional, you've got curves! Get the eff over it!

    THIS! Thin, fit, athletic, whatever your "body type," you have curves. When the dude said "real mean like curves" he didn't mean fat chicks, as some of you seem to think. NOR did he mean that he doesn't like thin women, or thinks they're ugly. The first chick that called him out as being a skinny hater was showing her curves in her pic! she had great boobs and an awesome waist. People need to not just jump on someone assuming they mean the worst! This is why this place pisses me off so much sometimes!

    and let my flaming begin. :flowerforyou:
  • Spritee
    Spritee Posts: 1 Member
    To the person that said that " maybe they don't like you": Wow, that's cold. I don't know about anyone else, but I joined MFP for encouragement, not snark. This is only the first week I actually decided to "join the community" and not just track my food and exercise. Wondering if that was a mistake. Sheesh.
  • My motto is when god created me, I promised never to be anyone other than me, I very clearly remember never mentioning any promise to be a "Super Model". We are who we are and let no man put us under!! no matter what, even if we are one eyed one horned flying purple people eaters. We are who we are and I am me, I dont have a problem with myself, if you have a problem with me, then you are the one with the problem. Just keep this motto in your mind. Those "Tossers"do not even deserve a thought, let alone given a chance to date an obviously beautiful person such as yourself :-)
  • images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRmxHQxbn06jZ73L8cDP-nvJaxD1jhBVnM_3fhCgtalue1LU9DFag

    What did you say about koalas???????
  • apriltrainer
    apriltrainer Posts: 734 Member
    Remember this....
    Its about YOU! Not them. Hold your head up high and strut your stuff.
    Big Girls do "WIN" in the end.....:flowerforyou:

    I don't know about this. In high school I was the dork that got voted ugliest girl in school by the cheerleader crew. I wasn't skinny. I wasn't fat..I was just..well, ..sortof Molly Ringwaldish without the red hair.

    Now those girls are BIG. I went to my old hometown and ran into those popular girls who are now big girls and proud of their "curves". yet asking me how to lose weight.

    Karma is a B**CH.

    Not all big girls now were such nice people back then. Not all skinny women are evil.

    I actually hope not all big girls win.

    Because some of them actually don't deserve it.
  • bexxgirl
    bexxgirl Posts: 260 Member
    be proud of your curves real women have curves


    Amen!!! This ^^

    Some men can be shallow. Just be glad you see the real them on the first meeting so you don't have to waste anymore of your time.

    Some men can be shallow? So can some women it seems.


    so me saying I think women with curves look good makes me swallow?????

    Wow - if you're into women, curvy or otherwise - what exactly are you swallowing? :laugh:
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 685 Member
    Try not to take it too personally. Some people just aren't into certain body types, hair colors, face shapes, heights, and so on. I always see it like this:

    I don't like onions. If I find out something has onions on it, I won't eat it. That doesn't mean onions are bad. That doesn't mean other people don't like onions. Heck, I have friends who LOVE onions and always order a huge plate of onion rings. Onions just aren't for me.

    These guys don't like onions. Find the guys who love onions.
  • Bump
  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,330 Member
    Here, I'll solve your problem for you:

    1. Stop posting misleading pictures. If you want to meet people in real life, then use recent, accurate pictures. A beautiful headshot that disguises your bodytype is not accurate--its a lie. If you're overweight, and your picture doesn't reflect that fact, then you're lying. If you're lying, then ANYONE (not just men) who you meet is going to feel betrayed and misled.

    2. Stop using fraudulent language. "Curvy" is not a synonym for fat. If you're big, say you're big. If you're fat, say you're fat. If you're overweight, say you're overweight. But don't say you're "curvy". Curvy is Betty Paige, or Coco Austin, or Niki Minaj, or Kim Kardashian. Are you built like them? If not, then "curvy" is not the right word for you.

    3. Stop blaming men. They're not being jerks; you're being deceptive. If they are surprised at your bodytype when they meet you, then you've deceived them. You said yourself that there are plenty of men who are into you just the way you are--and you are right. Why not give them a chance by portraying yourself more accurately?

    BRILLIANT. Well said.
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
    To the person that said that " maybe they don't like you": Wow, that's cold. I don't know about anyone else, but I joined MFP for encouragement, not snark. This is only the first week I actually decided to "join the community" and not just track my food and exercise. Wondering if that was a mistake. Sheesh.

    I see where you are coming from and it is a bit harsh but in a way it is realistic. In life it is hard to carry ourselves without bettering ourselves and sometimes it may take a jerk to let someone know their chances. I'm getting the impression that the thread starter is bigger than advertised and people feel cheated. Discretion is always appreciated with people in general, and we shouldn't assume others are going to accept us as we are.