Unsupportive significant other

No, he always compliments me even after almost 8 years together. I didn't really involve him in my weight loss, but he was really supportive and it opened his eyes to the fact that he needed to eat healthier food.

If I were with your SO I'd tell him to go find a less attractive girlfriend.

Honestly,if he's that unsupportive,he'd be my ex bf.There are too many ups and downs in life to have someone holding you back.Weight isn't just about looks,it's about your health too.

And you are with him because......? Sounds like you have a bad case of martyr syndrome to me. I don't see this relationship going anywhere positive in the future. Just sayin'...

Both my wife and I compliment each other, support each other in our journey to a more healthy us. She's much tinier than I, so when we walk, she burns a lot fewer calories. In order to counter that, she goes for a bike ride after work each evening while I make the dinner for us.

We take this walking time as our time to talk, when I'm not huffing and puffing up hills So, while I feel your pain, I feel good about what my wife and I have together.

Now, about him being able to eat what he wishes, there are consequences to this normally. Heart issues, arteries clogging and so on. Those fats and carbs without moderation will be bad long term for most of us. Some just get great genetics I guess, but not a lot.

BTW: We will be married now 35 years come October and been together 37.

My boyfriend has no interest in eating healthier, and he is not much into working out either. I would love it if we could work out together, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't stop me or discourage me, though, and even cheers me on and asks me how I did after I weigh in, so I would never call him unsupportive.

If he rolled his eyes when someone commented on my weight loss, I'd have to be direct and ask what his problem is.

I don't understand why so many of you post about this topic, and then STAY with these douches. If he's a **** to you and completely unsupportive, why on earth are you continuing to date him?! LEAVE! It is never, ever, ever going to get better.

I always say, if want a guy to care about you, don't EVER let him know you need him. Ever ... even the good guys. trust me ... AND DON'T EVER Mother a guy ... if you don't want to be treated like his mom.

I find this to be generally true... My guy complains sometimes that I don't "need" him. Sorry, it's better this way

I hate to say dump him but if he is almost surprised people call you beautiful then WTF. Seriously, he should be proud that other people find you as beautiful as he does but that leads me to my next point. And honestly, on a more serious note, a lot of people can't handle change. He has his own self esteem issues that is now being portrayed on your weight loss. As you lose weight and feel better about yourself he may be feeling that you will dump him because you feel you can find better. This may be the reason why he acts almost surprised when people give you vocal attention, you are already finding other possibilities (in his head). My husband and I went through this and the one thing I am happy he did is sat me down and told me of his issues. I have loved him through his 160 pound weight loss and I told him that I expected the same and that I loved him more than anything and we have just made ourselves better. I even brought up our more amazing sex life and he smiled. See, My husband would guilt me for going to classes/bike rides instead of spending time with him, always brought me high calorie food treats, and a lot of this was sub-concious sabotage because he was dealthy afraid I would lose all my weight and feel like I could find better. Have this conversation with him. Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Let him know that your life is changing and ask him if he is in for the ride and has a capability of change with you. You'll get your answer then. Maybe even a solution. He may not realize how crappy his actions are out of his own self-esteem issues. I think we tend to forget guys have these

Obviously if the situation doesn't change, you'll need to decide what is best for you. We get enough social abuse from BEING FAT. We don't need people in our lives who treat us negatively when we are doing better for ourselves.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” (Perks of Being a Wallflower)

This.

Though at times I have had low self confidence, I have always loved myself and I know that I deserve the best. My S.O. is wonderful He listens to me ramble about weightloss, he compliments me, he calls me sexy... If he did anything less than what I thought I deserved, I would leave.

You need to recognize that you need somebody who will treat you amazingly, but first you need to recognize that you deserve amazing.

Mine's not overtly unsupportive, but she doesn't seem to be really happy for me either. It gets to be kind of deflating after a while.

I hear you, girl..

I live with my boyfriend as well, and have never heard anything positive come from his mouth about the weight I've lost, or how noticeable it is... but he's not really the type to comment on that type of stuff... I know it can be insanely frustrating when you're busting *kitten* and all you want is a compliment!

BUT.. you have to remember why you're doing this! I know my reason is to change my life.. I wasn't obese or anything, but I needed to change the way I was eating and become a healthier person. Plus, I wanted to fit back into those size 6 jeans!
This should be for you.. and you should be proud of everything that you've accomplished so far! It looks like you've already lost a significant amount of weight, so a huge congrats to you!

If he continues to not be supportive of what you're trying to do, you need to figure out if that's something you're willing to deal with or not. If it's not, find someone that will be!

Stay positive and keep it up! You're doing awesome!

my husband has had moments of this. He too has a good metabolism and has great self-control. I've heard some of these, "I don't know what you can eat", "Can you eat if we go out?" "You're getting so small, I can get my arms all the way around you." "Your hips are bony."

To the last two, this is my response: "Good". His mom is a bigger woman so he's used to women being larger.

So, obviously, he's not doing this with me. I don't care. I'm doing it for ME and me ALONE. I told him straight out, "I take control of this now, or I die. It's that simple. If you want me around, this is what it is. I'm doing this for me, not for you - you may love me, but I don't love me. And it's time for that to happen."

After that, it stopped. No more comments on what I eat. No more comments on how I look - minus the occasional "you look good".

I also don't force him to eat like me. I adapt to eat better around him. If we go out, I eat better or smaller portions. If we make dinner, he gets what he normally eats and I get smaller portions. I save my calories for dinner. This works better for us.

But - if I try a new recipe, he eats it w/out complaint. He's supportive in his own way and the unsupported stuff stopped.

But overall, I never really cared and I laid it out for him - honestly telling my husband how I feel about stuff is better for us.

what I eat and how I exercise is outside the realms of my relationship with my husband. I eat healthy and exercise because i feel better and healthy when I do. His eating fastfood/bad food has no bearing on me being able to choose good foods. My husband loves me and complimants me and vice-versa- but it is not because of our fitness journeys, but because we love each other. your man should act loving towards you, whether or not you are working out and dieting, etc. And you should be able to make healthy choices even if he eats junk.

Question, what else is he unsupportive of you? Doesn't sound like treats you like his queen. Maybe he's insecure and doesn't want you to look as good as he thinks he looks. You know from my perspective, being a guy, if he can't compliment you on your weight loss and rows his eyes when other people give you a compliment, I'd really consider what he offers you in your life.

Maybe you should find someone that looks at you as his queen, treats you better than himself, and really sees you as a beautiful person no matter how you look. And if you lost weight he would be supportive of your efforts and be glad that you think enough about yourself that you want to take better care of yourself. A lot of guys may notice their gf or wife losing weight and won't say anything just because that's the way many guys are. But to row his eyes when someone else compliments you says that he doesn't feel that way about you. So my last question, why would you want to be with someone that doesn't think you're beautiful?

Keep your head up. Keep doing what you're doing. I hope you make your goal weight. I hope true happiness with your significant other (whoever that might be) comes your way as well.

My ex-gf was extremely unsupportive when i started out. I initially tried the diplomatic approach, get her to come to the gym with me, cooked healthy dinners but she never committed to anything. She only complained about her gaining, my losing and there must be someone i'm trying to slim down for since she loves me as is #women. Over time my losses were met with "so are you done with this weight thing now" and eventually i just had to break it off. Couldn't deal with the negativity and feeling held back