would you discipline someone for disciplining your child?
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Depends, but my child is pretty well behaved. My family members are more than welcome to discipline him if they feel he is acting out, ESPECIALLY if he is at their house. If he is at a friend's house, I fully expect those parents to call me to talk about the issues/rules being broken and send my kid home to be disciplined. Now, if a complete stranger were to yell at my kid for something when we were in public, that is not cool-you come to me and tell me what he is doing wrong and I will decide if punishment is warranted.0
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I must stop looking at this thread or I am going to lose my EVER LOVING MIND! What is going to happen when your kid breaks the law. Are you going to say "bad Mr. Police Man! My angel can only be disciplined by ME, how dare you go above my authority! "
I know, right? You have no idea what your child does when you are not around. You can not under any circumstances watch your child 100 %/ every second AND kids goals are not to get into trouble. Thier version (even if accurate in their mind) is only thier version.
I was hoping more parents would say if their child were the one being bullied they would want someone to intervene. Because if you don't want someone to intervene when your child is the bully, how would you feel with role reversal?
I will always help a child find an adult if they look lost. I will always stand up for anyone being bullied and therefore against a bully. I will always say something when a child looks like they are putting themselves or others in danger. I will NEVER hit or spank someone elses child. Unfortunately these days I assume if I stop a behavior that is a danger I expect the child to lie and the parent to believe them
So one of these days I fully expect a ticked off parent to call. BUT I will take that consequence to avoid an injury on the playground or someone to feel threatened at a place that should be safe. 0 -
Good luck with that
I've had good luck with that for 12 years and counting. And never once had a problem or had to tell anyone off, nor have ever had anyone try to say/do anything. I guess my horrible children are just too sneaky to get caught huh?
When does your parenting show debut on TV...right after Dr. Oz??
I'm not a perfect parent. LMAO. I just do what I do. Sorry if you can't believe that someone actually has good children.0 -
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This is one of those things that it really depends on the situation and the way you yourself were raised. My idea of acceptable punishment is going to be vastly different from the next person's. Then again, when I was a kid and I bit a girl on the back at daycare my mom got called to a meeting with the daycare board. They asked her what she was going to do to punish me. So in front of them all she spun me around and bit me on the back. They were all mortified, but my mom just said "there, now she knows that biting hurts and it is bad". That crap would get you arrested now-a-days but I didn't bite any other kids so it certainly worked. BTW this was only like 24 years ago. Wow.. now I feel old
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Anyway, I think it all depends on the child to. Some kids need a firmer hand, others are meeker in manner and don't need much to keep them in line.0 -
it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
If I see your child misbehaving without around, I am going to say something to him/her. The last thing I will be concerned about is you or your husband's potential negative reaction.
Amen......
When I'm in a public place and a child is running around, screaming, throwing things, bumping into people, and the parent is doing NOTHING.......I am going to address that child. Don't like it? Learn to control your kids.0 -
I is totally dependant on the situation.
If my 11 year old Son is acting like an idiot in class and the teacher diciplines him, then I have no problems with that whatsoever.
If my same Son is playing outside on a Saturday afternoon and someone diciplines him for being too loud, well, NOW we have a problem.
My thoughts.0 -
yes I would!! People need to mind their own business, but no one ever need to disipline my child because her behavior in public was perfect!0
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I concur....0
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If my kid's bothering someone else, or about to physically endanger themselves, of course they have the right to say "stop that".
Thank you. I was a lifeguard for several years and sometimes had parents who would get mad at me if I made their child take a timeout. Little did they know, precious had nearly caused another child to drown. Now I am not a lifeguard and have no children, but still say things to kids sometimes, especially if they are endangering themselves or another person. I live by "if you see something, say something...or do something" (Needless to say I have also called 911 on a few occasions when I saw something that was amiss.)0 -
<--- m u s t stop reading...... m u s t keep mouth shut.... ok I just can't do it. Seriously? Here is how it happens... my 14yo son got a "talking to" because they were playing basket ball outside and the ball kept going in the neighbors flower beds. He told them to move the game. He also made a phone call (voicemail) to me explaining his irritation of repeatedly telling them to keep the ball out of his yard. My son came inside all "its not fair" "it is stupid" "it is public property" blah blah blah... I told them to move the game to the end of the street. He didn't like it and was again with the "he can't tell me what to do" blah blah.. I explained he keeps his yard nice and you WILL be respectfull of that and you can either move the game or I am taking the basketball hoop apart and you won't play at all. SHEESH people you are undermining "adult" authority. I am not talking about letting people beat your kids or spank them or scream at them but if somebody tells your kid to stop doing something there is a reason whether your kids like it or not. I backed the neighbor up. It is all about taking responsibility, what kind of example would I have set if I would have told my 14 year old he didn't have to listen to him OR had I marched over there and told him off... OH Yeah I would have taught him he can do whatever he wants to do.0
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It depends on the circumstances and how the adult went about it. If my child got stopped and received a stern talking to because he was in danger, or about to harm himself or somebody else, I would not mind. However, if I am present at the time and see what is going on, then it is my job to discipline my child. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES does anyone have the right to spank, slap, push, or harshly grab my child!0
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Someone at our old church thought it was appropriate to spank my stepson (who was 6) when he was misbehaving. My husband and I flipped, but they kept making excuses. We left that church soon after and my only regret is that we didn't lodge a complaint. oh, my son was being a brat, but under no circumstances is anyone allowed to spank our kids but us.
edit: the church worker was nervous around me for awhile. I seriously wanted to kick her a**.
edit: My son is now 14 and starting HS today. My son gets more upset now when I take away his video games and priveliges than when I used to spank him when he was little.0 -
It depends on the situation. If you put your kid in the temporary custody of someone else, like your parents for example, then no. I would in fact WANT them to discipline my kid when they do things wrong. HOWEVER I would have had a chat with them about HOW to discipline, and when to do it, and such.
If it's some random stranger coming up and did something to "discipline" my kid, I would get in their face and tell them to back the **** off. The only people who have the right to do this is you and the the people you put your kid in temporary custody of. The police can obviously if they are old enough for juvi and what not.
If someone has a problem with my kid doing something, they need to come to me and tell me. I would be the responsible party of them, and they have NO RIGHT to go discipline my kid at all.
This said, when I do have kids, people had better NOT try anything like that unless it's people who I put my kid under the care of personally. >:(0 -
You're very welcomeI don't have any children but if I did, I would discipline someone that disciplined my children. I would also expect to be disciplined for disciplining someone for disciplining my child, and I would expect the person disciplining me for discipling the person that was disciplining my child to be disciplined.
I totally missed this post, as I checked this thread after there was a few replies....
THANK YOU...somebody got the point of this thread...LOL 0 -
This reminded me of something that happened when my son was in elementary school. He came home one day and told me that teachers lock bad kids in a box in a room off from the library. My son had an active imagination so I kind of ignored the comment until he told me his friend got locked in the box that day. I asked him more questions and it was a plywood box with no windows and a lock. Well, I planned to ask the teacher about it when I picked him up from school, but when I arrived at school there was a fire alarm and chaos. When I found my son he said a little boy lit his school work on fire inside of the box! I asked the teacher and she said it was the 'time out box' and that 'parents gave permission for their kids to be disciplined using the box.' My comment was that I can't lock my child in a box at home so how the heck can a parent give permission for their kids to be locked in one at school? I called the superintendent of the school and he told me that the box 'really should be painted' and that the children were 'special needs kids' I was absolutely outraged and threatened to call the local paper. Soon after the box was gone. But, really? This was in 1990's. I would have locked the teacher in the box if she ever tried that with my son!0
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I must stop looking at this thread or I am going to lose my EVER LOVING MIND! What is going to happen when your kid breaks the law. Are you going to say "bad Mr. Police Man! My angel can only be disciplined by ME, how dare you go above my authority! "
THANK YOU!!! My father used to say, "If I don't discipline you now, the police will later."0 -
First off teach your children to respect others and others property. If you do this then there would no need to be disciplining anyone's children except your own. Second, bring your unruley children to my house and your damn straight I'm going to say something to them if they are disrepectful to me, my house or my property. Third, if we are out and about and your children are doing something I consider wrong or even dangerous, that's solely on you, cause I'm not saying anything, not my property or my business.
We went out to eat and one of the kids ran by this old lady and she grabbed him by the arm and let him have it....I went off on this lady, she had no business putting her hands on my kid or anyone else's and I let her know it in no uncertain terms. Then I got called rude and of course I'm not gonna let that go and I explained that rude is what they were for thinking they had rights to a child that was not theirs. Not to mention they were trying to discipline him for screaming and crying when it wasn't even him doing it, it was a child at another table.
My kids knew better than to disrespect others and others property and they knew better than to act out at the store or out to dinner. I won't stand for it and they knew it.0 -
It all depends on the situation like some have mentioned. Both my kids are 7 and 11, and i'll be damned if someone is going to physically discipline them!0
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I am also sitting in the 'it takes a village' camp. I don't have kids, but I have had customer service jobs and live with my little cousins. Often times, I see parents 'too tired' to deal with their children when they are ruining things for other people or about to put themselves or others in danger. So I believe if I had kids and someone went: 'stop that.' to my kid or gave a stern talking to if they were doing something really bad then have at it. Of course, I have seen this in various examples.
One time I was a Cashier at WalMart, a woman's kid kept on trying to get on the bag carousel. So she looked me in the eye and said: 'If he does it again, tell him to stop it. He needs to learn not to do it and to respect other people's work places.' I of course was in shock at that, so when he did it again I was like: 'Um, please get off- you might hurt yourself.' and of course, he didn't listen. So the mom told me to do it firmly because I'm the adult and he should listen to me. That something involving his safety shouldn't be a request but a command. So I did what she said and sure enough the kid was shocked and got off it. He did put his fingers under the carousel and I said that it bites so he needs to move his fingers. He did, I went back to bagging and sure enough eh put his fingers back- and got pinched by it. He started crying and his mom was like: WELL SHE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT B| (he was about 6).
The other time was at my theater job where someone had brought their baby and older kids (between 6 and 18) to a rated R movie. The baby started to cry and my co-worker who heard the child cry went in and told the person holding the baby (a teenager) that if the baby doesnt calm down in a minute they need to go into the hall until the baby calms down (thinking that the teenager might be in her 20s and was the mom). The Baby didn't do a manger went in and told the person holding the baby that again (again thinking it was the Mom.) The mother stood up, told everyone to leave the theater, called my coworker a F***ing hoodrat and my manager a F***ing B**ch ad said the baby wasn't crying for more than a minute. She and her family were promptly escorted out of the theater due to the mother's.
So I think the line is: Are they doing something to really be considered rude (Like when I worked nights, I did not like kids playing loud near my side of the house because I was trying to sleep and when I asked the parents to make them stop it, they didn't going KIDS WILL BE KIDS), something that hurts them or others, or ruining something people are paying for (kids running in theaters). Then tell the kids to stop it and explain why.0 -
My (and my wife's) discipline for most anything is standing the kids in the corner. What bugs me is when we are in public and I need to put one of the kids in the corner, it never fails some stranger comes up walks right past the parent and tries to console my child. I just want to tell them to "back the **** off, they did something wrong dip ****, I'm not doing it for fun".
I'm so w/u here...nothing will get a foot up ur behind then to get in the mix of my disciplining my children. I keep the peace under most circumstances but if u question my authority or the way I run my home, especially in front of my munchkins...better start praying...& running!0 -
Depends on the person..I was raised with the whole it takes a village..I would not stand for a stranger to do it..but then I do it at church with the youth group kiddos..but then I am not a stranger...and they should know how to act..
But in no way would I do it at a grocery store. I remember once I worked in retail..and this kid was climbing through the window display. I walked up to the parent and told her to mind her child before something falls on him and he gets hurt...
Most of the time when you tell people their child is acting up..they get mad more from embarrassment than anything else..0 -
My kid wouldn't be needing the discipline. If he did say something out of line I would have no problem with someone telling him to be nice or behave.
My friend brings her 5 year old daughter to our bowling leagues all the time and she has been seriously acting out lately. I bought her a sprite one night and she say next to me and said repeatedly, "I want food, get me food!" I told her I used all my money on her soda (her mom usually doesn't have extra for spending). Last night she asked her mom for some change for the candy machine and she gave her a few quarters. She came back and said she wanted a light-up toy from the machine in the arcade, so I gave her the 50 cents, no big deal at all. She came back with the little plastic ball and the toy was broken. She threw a fit and said she wanted another one. The rest of the my teammates told her that sometimes those cheap toys stick and are a waste and that she could still play with it even though she didn't have the lights working on it. She then drilled us about the change on our table and said repeatedly " I want a new one!". My bff doesn't tolerate kids as well and said to her, "You should be thankful that Mandy even bought you one! Complaining about a gift won't make it better!"
Needless to say, I won't be giving that girl any more money or drinks. Her mom makes her get drinks from the water fountain and I think it should stay that way!
That brat needs to learn how to ask for something and say "please". Until she can do that, no more treats, and no more toys. Adults should not cave to a selfish, demanding child.0 -
My kids knew better than to disrespect others and others property and they knew better than to act out at the store or out to dinner. I won't stand for it and they knew it.
This is a point I've drilled into my children since the day they were born. While I let them do quite a bit of stuff other parents wouldn't let theirs do, they know they will be in a world of trouble for acting like a hoodlum. Because they have been before. I refuse to raise a child who is disrespectful and runs amok and isn't held accountable for their actions.0 -
My kids knew better than to disrespect others and others property and they knew better than to act out at the store or out to dinner. I won't stand for it and they knew it.
This is a point I've drilled into my children since the day they were born. While I let them do quite a bit of stuff other parents wouldn't let theirs do, they know they will be in a world of trouble for acting like a hoodlum. Because they have been before. I refuse to raise a child who is disrespectful and runs amok and isn't held accountable for their actions.
EXACTLY.0 -
It would depend. Are they in charge of them at the time? What did the child to... what was the punishment? I mean... if I had a kid and they were being watched and yelled or pushed at another kid or they have a temper tantrum then yes... by all means. Put them in the corner. Tell them they have stay there for as long as it takes to calm them down. Tell them once they are calm that they need to apologize for their actions.
A child grows from the support of a community. Needless to say, this does not mean that the community is the that must raise the child. 0 -
How would this work if you lived with your boyfriend with a child and you spend more time with the kid then he does because he is working 2 jobs? Kids dont listen. I think hearing how disrespectful they are being from someone they dont know might make them want to be nicer. As far as slapping.. yelling at kids.. leave that up to the parents.0
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Depends.
If my child is doing something so disruptive that it's affecting other people or safety, then I think that it's acceptable within limits. Especially if I'm not around. Like if my daughter was trying to climb the cage to the lion exhibit during a field trip to the zoo, then the chaperone can go ahead and give her a time out. Just don't smack her around.
I'm raising my kids to listen to their elders. That includes other adults.0
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