Confessions

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Replies

  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
    Writing this post nearly made me cry. Blimmin' 'eck.

    - I once went to Greggs (to those outside the UK, a guilty pleasure bakers who sell pasties, sandwiches, baguettes, pizzas, sausage rolls, cakes and doughnuts - NIRVANA) and they had a Buy One Get One Free offer on all pasties. I bought two cheese and onion pasties, two sausage and bean melts, two French bread pizza slices, one giant bag of salt and vinegar crisps and a (don't laugh) Diet Coke. Scoffed the lot in the car, covered in pastry crumbs and self-loathing.

    - I would routinely pop to the local supermarket (I live literally minutes from a 24 hour supermarket, lethal for my fatgirl days) and check out which big chocolate bars would be on offer - typically, it would be big bars of Dairy Milk or Galaxy for £1. I'd buy three and eat them in one go in my bedroom.

    - when I lived with my ex, he would often work away at weekends. I would phone both a Mexican and Chinese takeaway, ordering disgusting amounts of both, and pretend to call upstairs to a non-existent friend that our takeaway had arrived and did they have any change?

    - I would have to carry a little bottle of nappy cream in my handbag to apply periodically to my chub-rub.

    - TMI, but sod it. Before I lost weight, I can count on one hand how many occasions my ex saw me fully naked. I bought some faintly ridiculous underwear get-ups to cover myself as much as possible without encasing myself in lead. No mean feat.
  • Nix143
    Nix143 Posts: 522 Member
    It's good to see that so many people have got similar stories.

    Did anyone ever get anxious about running out of food? I would regularly pack myself a ;lunch to take to work and then think 'but what if that isn't enough? WHat if I run out?' - as if being hungry for an hour or so was going to literally kill me. So I would take/buy some 'just in case' food and invariably eat it all.

    A few weeks before I ended up on here I found myself in the kitchen in front of the toaster working my way through a full loaf of brioche with chocolate chips and a slab of butter with the rest of my unpacked shopping bags around me - I stood there until I had eaten the whole loaf in about half an hour.

    Stress would send me straight to food - UK people, I quite regularly would mindlessly eat my way through a Walkers 6 pack as a little snack.

    I was raised that you clear your plate, if food is on there then you eat it so even if I was feeling nauseously full I would never leave any food on my plate. Ever. If you've paid for it then you eat it, end of story.

    ANd don't even get me started on Greggs. I used to come up with an excuse every day why I had to leave the office in the morning - which would take me past Greggs - and if I am passing them it seems a shame not to get a cheese and bacon twist, a cheese and onion slice and a creme doughnut - for a snack. I would then eat my lunch about 2 hours later.

    The thing is all that eating behaviour is there inside me still but at least now I am aware and have half a chance of changing it.
  • mruntidy
    mruntidy Posts: 1,015 Member
    Gladly making up a bowl of cake mix and going at it while I watched Family Guy late at night was a regular occurance

    Full packets of biscuits

    Full multibags of crisps

    Sugar sandwiches
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
    Ugh, the things I could eat! I used to get two boxes of swiss rolls and put one in the cabinet and hide the other. Then when I would eat half the box of the ones in the cabinet I would replenish it from the hidden box so nobody would know. I could EASILY eat a whole bag of chips. My intention was never to eat the whole bag, but when I would come up for air and only see a little bit left I felt obligated to finish it. I remember going to subway once and ordering a footlong sandwich and watching my brother and my son exchange glances like 'who is going to tell her she doesn't need a footlong!' But, they wisely didn't say anything. But, the random snarfing of whatever food I could find leading to binges that lasted hours or days that I couldn't stop was my private shame. :ohwell:
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
    Wow, i identify with so many of the posts here. I also don't feel 'full' unless my stomach is groaning and stretched. Trying to retrain my mind and body on this one.

    I have eaten two pots (500ml each) of Ben n Jerry's ice cream in one go.
    A 200g bag of Walkers sensations crisps is just a snack (i like what the previous poster said about only one of us coming out alive).
    I have eaten whole cheesecakes, which are barely defrosted. (Last Sunday :( )
    A jar of chocolate spread and a spoon is an 'appetizer'
    Ordered two breakfasts on the drive through at McDonalds and done the 'i think thats all he wanted trick'. (haven't done that in about a year).
    Ordered the deals at Pizza Hut, Small pizza, chicken wings and potato wedges, with the intention of making it last two nights. It never has.
    Offer to make tea in the office so i can go to the kitchen and scarf down pieces of cake while its brewing. then bring pieces up for everyone, and a piece for me 'as a treat'.
    I can't leave packets unfinished. Even if I've reached the point of fullness, i'll finish the packet, because there's only a little bit left, pointless saving it.
    I daren't have treat foods in the house. I'll eat them all. In one go.
    While waiting for dinner (home made, nutritionally balanced) to heat up in the microwave, i'll raid the cupboard for instant gratification.
    Make a lunchtime trip to the supermarket to get out of the office, to secretly eat several pasties or pies. I already ate lunch before i left.

    I try not to eat around other people, because I'm afraid of what they think about this huge woman eating :(

    Jeez looking at all that in black and white is quite shaming. I've cut a lot of it out, but there are still things that happen.
  • MogwaisGrandma
    MogwaisGrandma Posts: 195 Member
    Greggs has a lot to answer for in the UK.

    I too was a 2 cheese and onion pasties as a time girl. Add to that their huge french salad sandwiches ( which THANK GOD) they do not do in the NW of England, a vanilla slice and a doughnut and you had lunch/afternoon snack for me on a regular basis.

    I used to buy a 3/4 piece box of KFC AND 9/12 hot wings and eat all them, with gravy.

    Chinese was starters of salt and pepper ribs, a main meal of chicken or beef with cashew nuts, special fried rice, seaweed and chips Sometimes I would throw some mini spring rolls or their huge chop suey roll in for good measure. I would kid myself I would take the rest to work the next day.

    I would work my way round the local take aways so I only hit them once a fortnight so they would not think of me a right pig.

    Sweet stuff - 3 kingsize twixes in one go, large bars of dairy milk/galaxy in one go. Packets of Ginger biscuits/rich tea consumed with one cup of tea. Whole cheese cakes would get about half the top and all of the base devoured.

    I could go on...
  • Wow confessions...am I brave enough to admit this...?

    I have been known to get a large Wicked Zinger Tower meal from KFC drive through then go to McDonalds drive through and get a cheeseburger and a McFlurry when I was hungover...more than once :blushing: I convinced myself it was ok because it would fix my hangover...

    Getting 2 meals from either McDonalds or KFC isnt unheard of either...I would get one diet coke with the small meal and a regular with the large meal and say "I think thats all he wanted" as if I was buying it for my other half...I dont have an other half...!

    Eating a share size bag of doritos with salsa or cream cheese on an evening was fairly standard...with a couple of beers of course. I would have that instead of tea as my justification to myself.


    I still miss eating huge amounts of KFC...it's my own personal demon!!


    I ashamed to admit I used the " I think thats all he wanted " line as well.
  • I am a packet person.

    I would eat a whole large 8 slice pizza on my own with 4 slices or half a garlic bread AND THEN have dessert or a full family size packet of smiths roast chicken chips.
    But recently half a pizza with 6 chicken wings and half a garlic bread is normal... so not that far from it. Blerp.
    A jar of olives, 250gm of ricotta, a whole packet of bagel crisps, a jar of sun dried tomatoes and 100gm of salami was a good night in for me.
    The family size bags of chips was always in my house and always eaten in one go. Along with a container of pringles.
    Commonly I would eat more that I should or even could when I was with my ex so he wouldn't eat it on me the next day when I'd planned to take it for lunch. He was a midnight eater or sometimes would eat it for breakfast, so because I just had nothing else that was mine I'd eat it at that meal. It was a possession thing. I'd eat EVERYTHING so he couldn't have it, even if I didn't like it. Just to spite him. He took everything from me and it was the only way I knew how to have anything for myself.
    I used to order the 'box' meals at KFC and never eat the whole thing infront of people but always be sad I didn't finish it, alone I'd stuff it down.
    What feeds me, my partner and 3 step children was what used to feed my ex and I. 5 PEOPLE WORTH OF FOOD! FIIIIIVE!
    Whole packets of biscuits....
    a 2L tub of ice cream would be gone in 1 ONE!!!!! OOOONE dessert for my ex and I, now 1L last 4-6 servings. Like it should!
    I'd always have a sandwich or something after dinner, if not chips.
    2 meals would usually extend to breakfast on workdays and lunches on weekends where I'd have naps. Lunch, nap, lunch.
    I ate a whole cake in 4 days a few months ago. 2 packets of cake mix, 250gm of butter and 500gm of icing mix....So really 2 cakes.
    Total secret eater. My mum found a jar of crushed nuts in my drawer when I was younger. CRUSHED NUTS? WTF DID I WANT WITH THOSE? I'd hide packets of chips.
    Also unconscious eater, I'd always have to put SOMETHING in my mouth everytime I went to the fridge or cupboards. This has been going on for as long as I can remember.
    I'd go home at lunch time in high school and cook full meals. Steak, pasta... you name it. I ate it.
    Steak and chips was a full 500gm rump and 250-400gm of deep fried chips SMOTHERED in gravy. Even though I KNEW I'd made too much I know that I'd get in trouble for wasting so I'd eat it all, even if it meant I stopped being able to chew. Sick.
    Oh and when I was younger we moved in next door to an all you can eat place. We'd go once a week. Even though I wasn't yet a teen my mum wouldn't stop me when she thought I'd had enough. Often I'd eat so much I'd have to vomit when I got home. Charming. I also have only *just* gotten out of the habit of full is about to vomit. Now full is just not hungry any more.

    SO MUCH FOOOOOOOOOD.
  • GnarlyBro
    GnarlyBro Posts: 17 Member
    There used to be times where I phyically never felt full from eating so much. Id eat up to 10 'meals a day, and one meal was a whole pizza. :( ew
  • nevertoolate2
    nevertoolate2 Posts: 309 Member
    There are some really moving posts on here, truly humbling. And at the same time, inspiring, because each person I come across who has the courage and determination to deal with their food demons gives me a little more strength to do it for myself. Thank you all for sharing.




    I would order a pancake roll and a portion of chips from the chinese by my bus stop - before walking home half a mile for dinner. I would of course hide the wrapping.

    I would massively over order on takeaways because I would stress there would not be enough for everyone including my massive appetite.

    At buffets I would eat a full plate and ask my wife to go get me a plate of seconds so that others would not see just how much I was eating.

    Everything has to be finished! Nothing can be left on my plate, on the serving plate, in the bucket, in the box or in the carton. Sometimes I would offer to clear plates from the family table so that I could pinch selected left overs! This one has firm roots in my parents who would always, always say that we HAD to clear our plates and that we mustn't leave anything, that it was BAD to waste anything. I still fight this daily.
  • HappyandToned
    HappyandToned Posts: 49 Member
    If I buy a packet of anything, I'll eat the whole thing. Every time! I'm pretty sure a few weeks ago I ate just short of 2 packets of Tim Tams in one sitting. 1 packet of white chocolate ones and one packet of original.
    I've eaten ice cream until the container's finished and drowned it in Agave syrup.
    I'd eat peanut butter and Nutella, out of the jar, with a spoon. A BIG spoon.
    Two dinners? Sure, why not! I mean, I have a bottomless pit for a stomach, right?!
    From work one time, I took 3, or 4, slices of cheesecake, brought them home, and ate the whole lot. Never mind that I was struggling to breathe.. they were just too damn tasty to throw away, or even give to someone else!
    Yep. So I have a massive sweet tooth issue. I've come to the realization that I'll never get rid of that. So now I just avoid anything sugary, other than fruit. If I don't avoid sugar, it basically becomes a full-on binge!
  • bridiew
    bridiew Posts: 40 Member
    i used to get cross when i went out to dinner with my dad when he didnt want desert so that meant i couldnt have one!!
    i will drive out specially to buy food to stuff my face on! being a recovering bulimic i could litterally eat packets of biscuits cookies chocolate pasties cerial crisps and bread all in one go untill it hurt so much!
    its horrible :( i have so much guilt and shame and the more i tried to stop, the more it became a 'game' to see how secretive i could be and how much i could get away with!!
  • I used to eat take aways all the time and I used to eat loads
    I would just snack through the whole day
    A friend drank normal coke when I had always drank diet coke so I started drinking normal coke all the time I probably gained about 10lbs from doing this
    I used to eat about 5 chocolate bars a day, probably more
  • tonybreyal
    tonybreyal Posts: 3 Member
    I feel incredibly embarrassed that I'm admitting to the following:

    - When getting fast food (e.g. McDonald's, KFC, BK - often going directly from one place to the next), I would often read the order from a piece of paper to make it look like I was ordering for several people instead of just myself. I ordered a lot of food.

    - When getting a take-away in person from a Chinese/Indian/etc place, without a piece of paper handy, I would make it sound as if I was trying to remember a list of items off the top of my head for several people. *hangs head in shame*

    - I would often go to all-you-can-eat buffets.

    - I would often order the biggest dish on the menu - particular weaknesses are Large Mixed Grills and Full English Breakfast. I ate out most days.

    - Going to the supermarket during 'price reduction time' I would buy up LOTS of stuff (pastries/sausages/meals/etc) and eat them as soon as I got home or the very next day. We're talking a lot of food here.

    - I would eat a full Forest Gateau (16 portions) over the course of a day without any difficulty.

    Hmm, in a strange way it feels kind of good to have said all that. :)
  • Gladly making up a bowl of cake mix and going at it while I watched Family Guy late at night was a regular occurance

    I used to do this too
  • spirit80
    spirit80 Posts: 327 Member
    Learn about nutrition. Eat whole food and get in shape. You are 21 don't waist the next 30 years being stupid like me. If you have an eating disorder get help. Your best time of your life is NOW!
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Greggs has a lot to answer for in the UK.


    I would never buy pasties because one just ISN'T filling, and at around 500 calories a piece, I'd rather eat something that will fill me up. Bloody steak bakes.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I'm so terrified of failing that sOmetimes I know im not eating enough by I justify it to myself by it being better than eating tO much and I know I have plenty if far stores to sustain me

    its really isnt... swapping one set of bad eating habits for another is not the way to become a healthy happy person.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    As a family of 3 we would order 3 large pizza's. I would eat 1 plus another 1/2 myself. Now we don;t order pizza and i eat 65% vegetables now. working on total vegetarian at some point. And down approx 45 lbs in the last 6 months.
  • LadyConundra
    LadyConundra Posts: 37 Member
    I think the best part of this stream is it is a lot of 'used to's'. We should be so proud of ourselves.

    My confession:
    A dozen of Loft House sugar cookies in one sitting. I can not buy those anymore they are my demons.
    I have done the triple whopper before, with cheese and bacon.

    It's been so long that it is hard to remember. The most important is that I'm never going back to those eating habits :happy:
  • GmeB
    GmeB Posts: 70 Member
    I used to sometimes eat sticky buns,candy,as a meal rather than a meal,sometimes getting up in the wee hours to eat more
  • tubbyelmo
    tubbyelmo Posts: 415 Member
    I found great comfort in food, I felt happy with my hand in a bag of crisps as long as I had a bar of chocolate lined up for afters. Nothing unusual about getting through a family bag of crisps and 4 chocolate bars in an evening. I lost lots of weight when my Dad died very suddenly (dropped to the ground when out walking my dog away on holiday with the rest of the family) but I comfort ate my way to fatter than I was before! Only two weeks into my new eating plan, my skin is clear of blemishes (thank-you water!!) and I've lost 5 pounds. Here's hoping I never have to turn to food for comfort again.
  • juicygurl1
    juicygurl1 Posts: 195 Member
    If I posted all the types of food I gorged on most of you would remember my name and throw up! I still go through creepy cravings I don't know how to stop eating. At least I quit eating fast fried food, over processed chips dips and mayonnaise products.
  • kpnuts23
    kpnuts23 Posts: 960 Member
    BUMP
  • It wasn't uncommon for me to have a McDonald's mcgriddle meal with apple juice, 2 beef chalupa meal with a DIET coke, 3+ bowls of homemade ground beef spaghetti, a liter of coke and a honey bun in one day.

    There was a time when my boyfriend and I went to Outback multiple times a week. I would eat a half order of their cheese fries with the ranch, then a 6oz sirloin with grilled shrimp and two orders of roasted asparagus. And that was just one meal.

    I could put down two Raising Canes box combos for lunch and dinner.

    Before I ever got pregnant, I wouldn't eat for days, and it lead to situations like this:
    I put down a box of krispy creme doughnuts and a large pot of spaghetti down in one sitting.
    I ate a muffaletta the size of my head, a six pack of chocolate pudding, a large bag of kettle chips, four brownies, and 2 liters of soda in one sitting.
    If I didn't eat for a certain number of days (counted by the hour) I would treat myself to chinese buffet.

    Those were darker, eating disordered days.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    Guess we all have to say something in this thread, but... how exactly is that helping to our cause?
    Not being sarcastic, just curious.

    I'm not sure exactly but it seems to have interested many people. I am a catholic so I 'get' the confessional thing, it is like ummm... a spiritual purge? I think also it makes us realise we aren't alone, there are other people with such bad habits are working to over come them and even suceeded, I guess it shows it it can be done!
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
    Guess we all have to say something in this thread, but... how exactly is that helping to our cause?
    Not being sarcastic, just curious.

    I'm not sure exactly but it seems to have interested many people. I am a catholic so I 'get' the confessional thing, it is like ummm... a spiritual purge? I think also it makes us realise we aren't alone, there are other people with such bad habits are working to over come them and even suceeded, I guess it shows it it can be done!

    I think theres also something about acknowledging what our demons are. Knowing you're not the only one who has those feelings is also a comfort.
  • I know I have done alot of over eatting to in my life But now I under eat alot of the time and the just as bad belive it or not.So with the Tracker tool I see what I need and now I'm trying to get it all in .Ya for me .Thanks for shareing your storys.We can all get where were going together .Thanks myfitnesspal's.:wink:
  • mruntidy
    mruntidy Posts: 1,015 Member
    Guess we all have to say something in this thread, but... how exactly is that helping to our cause?
    Not being sarcastic, just curious.

    I'm not sure exactly but it seems to have interested many people. I am a catholic so I 'get' the confessional thing, it is like ummm... a spiritual purge? I think also it makes us realise we aren't alone, there are other people with such bad habits are working to over come them and even suceeded, I guess it shows it it can be done!

    I think theres also something about acknowledging what our demons are. Knowing you're not the only one who has those feelings is also a comfort.

    I agree, I am not as 'scared' of saying what I used to eat before as I have more control over it now and it feels cathartic (sp) to tell people about the old me
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    I use to eat 1 huge meal a day. Instead of eating throughout the day like I do now, I would just eat 1 big meal probably at like 3000 calories or more. I would go back for 2nds and some times 3rds.

    Someday's when I didn't eat just 1 meal a day I would engorge myself with junk.

    If my kids wouldn't finish eating what was on their plates I would eat it for them.

    I use to sneak eat at night or while I was cooking dinner.

    When we would go out to eat, I would order the biggest meal on the menu.

    It's funny, now I read all this to myself that I use to do and am really amazed at how far I've come. I'm really cautious with what I eat and how much of what I eat, I count things out, I measure my food, I could tell you how many calories are in nearly the entire menu of my job. I can proudly refuse cupcakes and donuts when offered them and I don't miss them. I eat 6 times a day. I'm so much happier.