Confessions

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  • WannaBSkinnyBride
    WannaBSkinnyBride Posts: 23
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    I've hidden evidence of food that I've eaten from my fiancé. And the thing is he wouldn't even care. Twice I've gone to Arby's and put the arby's bag/trash in the back of my closet so he wouldn't see it in the trash and then I'd throw it away in the apartment dumpster after he left for work. The worst part is...part of the reason I did that is so that if he came home and wanted to go out for some food I wouldn't seem like such a piggy for wanting to because he wouldn't know I already ate something not too long ago.

    I used to stuff myself until I felt sick and physically hurt because of how full I packed my stomach. I could feel the food sitting in my esophagus waiting to go down. I'd wait 30 minutes or an hour for the pain to go away and I'd eat a little until I got to that point again. I honestly don't know why I did this. I've stopped obviously.

    I've tried to make myself throw up after eating a couple of times and know that I would have fallen into full fledged bulemia if I would have been successful. Luckily for me, even after spending 20 minutes with my finger down my throat I can't make myself vomit. (I don't try anymore)

    And you, MFP peeps, are the first to know any of those things. While I don't do the above things anymore - but the Arby's was probably about 6 weeks ago at it's most recent - it feels good to sort of unload it a bit with people who understand.

    Good thread :)
  • Rosebudevol
    Rosebudevol Posts: 45 Member
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    I also love the feeling of being completely stuffed, as opposed to just sated.

    I struggle with this. I can no longer be hungry, but I still feel the need to eat cause I am not stuffed!
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
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    I found great comfort in food, I felt happy with my hand in a bag of crisps as long as I had a bar of chocolate lined up for afters. Nothing unusual about getting through a family bag of crisps and 4 chocolate bars in an evening. I lost lots of weight when my Dad died very suddenly (dropped to the ground when out walking my dog away on holiday with the rest of the family) but I comfort ate my way to fatter than I was before! Only two weeks into my new eating plan, my skin is clear of blemishes (thank-you water!!) and I've lost 5 pounds. Here's hoping I never have to turn to food for comfort again.

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. There are no words, but I'm glad he was on holiday with the people he loves. *hugs*
  • IslandDreamer64
    IslandDreamer64 Posts: 258 Member
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    I can eat a pound of cheese and at least half a box of crackers without much effort. Cheese is my crack. Those are two items that have been banned from my house because I just can not eat a normal portion. I also did a lot of sneak eating, or eating in private, then eating a normal meal after I'd already eaten enough for 2 people. I'm a work in progress for sure!
  • DaraEden
    DaraEden Posts: 68 Member
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    sometimes if I binge, I buy stuff in several different shops so the cashiers won't judge me! as if being judged by a cashier is worse than eating a large chocolate bar and enough bags of crisps and full-sugar fizzy drinks to feed a family for a day :(


    Haha this is so my thing!!
  • vlsalvaggio
    vlsalvaggio Posts: 63
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    Im an emotional eater to begin with (im trying really hard to break it but everyday is a struggle), but when i used to go to sonic i ordered a double cheeseburger, the foot long hotdog with chili and cheese and a popcorn chicken. and i finished every last bit too. i really try not to eat fast food anymore!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    My problem was alcohol.

    I would keep a large bottle of vodka in the pantry and put more in the empty bottle on the counter so my husband would not know I drank the whole thing,

    I used to hide a 12 pack of beer and refill the beer frig so he would not go to get one the next day and find it is empty because I drank it all the night before. I also used to hide my empties and take them to the recycling center across the street so he would not see all of them in our bin at home.

    I used to make humming bird food and put it in the red wine bottle on the counter so he would not know I drank the whole bottle of it either. Talk about smart, try pouring a piping hot pot of fresh boiled water into a empty wine bottle at midnight, drunk off my *kitten*.Geesh, its a wonder I did not scald myself silly.

    Now those are the ones that are not too embarrassing to share, I and I want to thank GOD that there was no such thing as camera phones and youtube when I was in my 20s, I know there are a few of you with me there. :wink:
  • spells1977
    spells1977 Posts: 146 Member
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    I used to binge drink and think nothing of going out on a Friday night and drinking 12 pints of lager :drinker:

    Then the same night I used to leave my friends or boyfriend early giving the excuse that I was tired and went home alone and stuffed myself silly with whatever food I could get my hands on. I in particularly liked fried chicken and ordered the family bucket and sides and eat it all myself all whilst saying it didn't matter - it was because I was drunk and needed to sober up etc or I convinced myself it didn't matter when drunk - if that makes sense!!

    Looking back I was definately a binge eater and drinker and also a secret eater. Hiding food from others was then easier to hide it from myself and pretend it wasn't happening.
  • jwcomputergirl
    jwcomputergirl Posts: 126 Member
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    Girl Scout Cookies! 1 sleeve of cookies = 1 serving - right? :wink:
  • Rockmyskinnyjeans
    Rockmyskinnyjeans Posts: 431 Member
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    For many years, I was strict with what I ate, but then I just didn't care. I couldn't eat a lot at a time, but I'd order high calorie junk and I would spread it out over the whole day. I did a calculation once, just messing around a couple months after I joined MFP. I was consuming 2000-3000 calories a day of pure crap. Carbs and fats like you wouldn't believe! On my last GRI trip for Real Estate before I had started trying to lose weight, I was consuming 2-3 sugary, but nonfat Frappuccinos a day. I would eat the Jack Daniels Ribs and Chicken from TGI Fridays and all the fries. There was usually always a stop involved at Jersey Mike's for a Meatball Sub, as well. And a guaranteed stop for a GIgi's Cupcake before I went home. Almost every single day at my office, my husband was bringing me fast food for lunch. Arby's, Whataburger, Fat Daddy's (to die for Onion Rings!)... It was a horrible cycle.

    I still have some anxiety over restaurants to this day, after now dropping 53 lbs (I dropped 11 before MFP). I have probably memorized the calories of the dishes of most major restaurants. I am slowly learning to let go of that anxiety as I realize this is a total lifestyle change and I am not going to gain everything back because I went to one nice meal with my husband. If I did it every single day, that would be different...

    I still have some fears of gaining it back. Essentially, I'm in maintenance now, but I wouldn't mind losing another 3-5 lbs. I am happy at this size. I don't want to lose that again. I am smaller built now than I was 2 years ago when I started gaining all the weight back because now I exercise frequently. I want to stay this way. I've come to depend on the support of this site. I don't think I do it alone. Thanks for the vent/confessional! I feel like the biggest glutton ever, but I know I've come a long ways and can still have the things I love, but in healthier versions now.
  • smithntuck
    smithntuck Posts: 113 Member
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    I could finish anything, regardless of the size of it or how many it was suppose to feed. Would be miserablely stuffed afterwards, but didn't care. Now, if I know it's something I would overdo it on, I don't touch it! Everyone says, "One bite won't hurt!" Oh, yes it will! Because it wouldn't be just one bite, I would want more, and more, and...hey, got any more of those M&M's? Or Salt and Vinegar Chips, or...yeah, what else have you got?
  • BioShocked89
    BioShocked89 Posts: 330 Member
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    I used to get cake mixes and only add water to them, so they'd get to the batter consistency and eat them. It could be made fast, tastes good, and I'd be back upstairs with my concoction before my family could see.

    Also guilty of devouring fruit roll ups by the box in 10 minutes, hoarding food in my room, and late night secret cooking so my family wouldn't see.

    Probably my worst moment was when my parents would force me to go to the gym with them, and I refused to work out. I usually sneaked across the street to the conveniently located Biggs grocery store and buy a bunch of crap without them knowing.
  • alexp74
    alexp74 Posts: 125
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    Im an emotional eater to begin with (im trying really hard to break it but everyday is a struggle), but when i used to go to sonic i ordered a double cheeseburger, the foot long hotdog with chili and cheese and a popcorn chicken. and i finished every last bit too. i really try not to eat fast food anymore!

    I posted in my own thread this morning about avoiding the emotional eating piece which is so hard to do. I finally decided yesterday to take a hard walk as opposed to eating my feelings, you can do it!

    The worst thing I ever did was get an 8 piece bucket meal from KFC on the way to a girl's house that I had just started dating. She made spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread and chocolate cake for dessert. I would prefer not to think about the number of large meatballs consumed that evening!
  • alexp74
    alexp74 Posts: 125
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    I could eat a whole box of mac and cheese.....I dont even eat it anymore.
    I could eat a small pIZZA......now only 2 pieces.
    MOUNTAIN DEW SHOULD BE BANNNED........I am currently trying to deafeat it with water downing 4 cups when I wake up is helping a lot.

    When I get REALLY UPSET i WOULD Get a pack of cigarette and a mountian dew. ......
    Found out I am a fast food junkie but not anymore
    Emotional eater and conveince eater
    I LOVE CHEESE....Still trying to slow that down lol
    I am currently replacing anger, depression, and mountain dew triggers with fast HARD excerise and going to the gym RIGHT after work. Seems to good a lot of good :)

    I had a girlfriend who would drink 4-6 cans of Mt. Dew because she needed the caffeine in the morning.

    I'm with you on the anger and depression being fixed by working out though, so much better!
  • Kimjanebrooks
    Kimjanebrooks Posts: 253 Member
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    I have started MFP because of what I have eaten today and reading your stories. Today, a pretty average day food wise, i have eaten 2 triple sandwiches, 4 bags of crisps, a packet of viennese whirls, a kit kat and a bowl of porridge!!!!! And I wonder why i've put on weight!! I needed to lose a stone. I now need to lose 2!
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Now those are the ones that are not too embarrassing to share, I and I want to thank GOD that there was no such thing as camera phones and youtube when I was in my 20s, I know there are a few of you with me there. :wink:

    I totally agree! At least with time, I can think that some of the stuff I did wasn't as bad as it really was. Now those reminders are on the internet FOREVER! LOL!
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Girl Scout Cookies! 1 sleeve of cookies = 1 serving - right? :wink:

    Of course! And it's for a good cause, too, so a second box can only be better!
  • mrshoneydew
    mrshoneydew Posts: 253
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    I like this thread too. These are things I accept and want to put behind me. We are only human. :)

    I've learned even after changing my diet that I don't know how to eat hummus and pita chips in moderation (I've eaten a whole container before, guilty!). Sabra garlic hummus is my "crack"! 1 serving of hummus is 2 tbls. I can put one tbls on one chip! I eat it with carrots some times, but I've decided that it's probably for the best that I just don't buy it very often anymore. :grumble:
  • pengem789
    pengem789 Posts: 45
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    One of my favorite "When I was Fat" stories is how I would go into a restaurant and pretend I was ordering for someone else, too...I'd say things like, "I think he wanted extra cheese" when it was ALL for me, then take it to go. It's hilarious now. Sad then...
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    I would buy a family size chocolate bar and scarf it down in the car and hide the wrapper so nobody would know.

    The bulk candy in the grocery store has seen a fair bit of me in the past... and I mean BULK!

    I have done the"order in food and pretend someone else is there" trick as well.

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