I don't even know what Title to give this.

He cannot punish your job status and/or hours because of a personal relationship that is ending. That is sexual harassment and he knows it. Do not be bullied into staying in this relationship for fears of losing your job.

YEP!! You are gorgeous, smart, and obviously dedicated to making your present and future happen for you. DON'T let him hold you back. I don't know why some men can't stand the thought of women going to college (ESPECIALLY if he is educated himself). I have several EX-boyfriends like that. It sounds like he may be rethinking things anyway. Counseling is your last bet unless you wanna become his whipping-post; it looks like that is where you are headed if things stay on the current track. It's so nice of you (for him, not you) to skip college so you can work so hard to pay his alimony and debts... You're right- that is not right. There are grants and loans out there that make college easier to afford as well (I'm 35 and a senior going for a bachelor's degree in business). PLEASE do go through college while you're still young! You can do it, and you will find a way to afford it, and you will be personally stronger and more successful if you do.

Cry it out and get out, love. I stayed with the (older) man I got together with at the age of 16 and it is my one big regret in life- I wasted 13 years with him and life began when I got out of that situation. I learned how to be single and enjoy it, and now I'm with the best man I could have ever dreamed up for myself- he is supportive and would never get in the way of my personal goals.

Feel free to tell the guy that he can cut your shifts if he wants a lawsuit for sexual harassment Document everything as well so you'll have a case if you end up going that way. Even if you would never do that- he doesn't have to know it. The fact that you know you can could very well be enough.

Go to college!! Be with someone that supports your dreams and desires. You need that in life and that is what a real partner will do. You aren't alone! Just look at all the people responding to you, let that be your encouragement. Go for it and have no regrets! Live the life that you dream.

I don't think he will love you more for doing things for him. He will love you more if he does things for you, and he doesn't.

And the money thing?? Huge red flag for me. My parent still keep their own money after so many years together. And you paying his alimony?!

It sounds like he's already checked out of the relationship.

This this this. He is passive-aggressively telling you he's done with this relationship. The sooner you realize this, the better.

... Imagine your sister, or best friend told you what all you've shared with us. What would you tell her? RUN! For some reason, when we are in the middle of whats going on, we tend to complicate it and think, "give it more time... we can work this out".

I think we might be sharing the same brain ;-)

HA... if you have custody of it now, just know I'm going to need it back in the morning! :laugh:



OP, I really wish the best for you... I hope the proper answer is made crystal clear very soon.

Maybe this was a bad idea to write this at work, I can't stop crying when I read everyone's responses. I mostly work alone, and today is slow, so i guess no one will know that i'm crying but this just sucks. I feel completely alone in life. I moved to PA after I graduated to work this job with him, so i don't even have any family around. and the family that i do have doesn't talk to me unless I call them.

I married at 20. He had a child from a previous marriage and we stayed together 8 years, had 2 of our own kids, and I was so miserable the whole marriage. I just accepted it as normal until we split up and I started laughing again.

My honest advice is to cut your losses, go home, and start college (if that's what you want). In 10 years you can say, "Wow, I was in this really bad/strange situation for awhile but I got a fresh start and look at me now." Or in 10 years you can say, "I wasted 10 years." It's never too late to get a fresh start and you are right on the edge of doing something great that you want! Don't get bullied back into a bad situation.

If you are not married, do NOT paid his student loan or alimony. It's not yours to owe.

Like many other posters, I would say you already know, in your heart, what you need to do. It's very scary, and you might lose your job (start documenting it now so you can sue the hell out of him in that case), but nonetheless it's likely the right thing to do.

It's time to really start living your own life. If you're a hard worker, you'll find employment somewhere else and be better off for it.

A large age difference isn't always a bad thing (my parents are 13 years apart and have been married for 30 years), but at such a young age, 9 years is a giant gap emotionally. Do what's right, not what's easy.

The sweet and easy fork leads to gluttony and extra pounds hanging around. Take the fork with the broccoli on it, shed some excess baggage and get on with your journey.

Honey, I truly pray that you find your way out of this the healthy way. Far too often we hear the same story from young ladies your age. I would suggest you doing what your heart tells you. If it were ME, I would gracefully end this relationship and split the money as you already were going to do. Don't become a statistic and watse YOUR life living someone else life, you deserve so much better.
Wow, you choked me with his response to you and you helping paying $1000 Alimony to an exwife, I'm just floored by this!

Good luck...

You were 16 when you got together.
9 yrs. difference in age?
He was 25 and you were 16??
If I read it right.
Run from the pervert.
He has major control issues.
Maybe you have gotten to old for him.

By the way if he won't come and see you and is not having sex with you.
He is cheating.....sorry.:flowerforyou: