Please don't be offended...

I never noticed how much bigger I was getting, or how it looked. I just avoided the scale or thought I carried it well and looked slimmer than I did. I could still run and bike and stuff. Looking back now I was really really fat, especially when I saw pics.

It was sort of a slow realization combined with the safety ajd comfort that comes from being fat that made my weight loss progress very slow. An abrupt life change saw me lose 60lbs but I haven't lost any more until now. Eventually I just wanted to wear normal sized clothes and be treated like a normal person and not grow old being fat and not be able to do the things I like anymore.

I got this way, gained 100 lbs, from an undiagnosed medical condition. Then I gained an additional 50 lbs at least due to the depression from having these issues and not knowing why I could not control myself. There was a lot of beating myself up. After finding out what it was, I dropped about 40 lbs over 6 months but then started school, life..... Now I am back on track.

One thing I have found in the work that I do, as well as in my own life, is that it is VERY difficult to feed a family a healthy diet. When your funding is low (example: for my family of 5 I had only $75 a week to feed everyone) you have to make a choice between "good for you" and "filling you up". Go to a food pantry and you get the same....high calorie, high carb, long shelf life food....sometimes you just have to eat what is available to survive. The thing is, nobody would look in and see that from the outside because I am a working professional. I have learned how to shop more wisely and make healthier meals for my family, but that came from time and experiment.
Another thing that caught me were medical issues. Many medications unfortunately come along with the side effect of weight gain. I have fibro and arthritis, which sometimes make meeting even the minimum ADL's nearly impossible. And I am fortunate in that I still have mobility. Again, at some point I figured out that working through the pain would eventually bring a moment of wow, I can actually do that now and not hurt and even feel better some days all around. Unfortunately, many people don't have that freedom. Many people fall victim to the pain of their ailment, to the depression that soon follows, to the total flip change their bodies have created in their lives.
At one point in my life I was a bodybuilder. I had an auto accident and broke my neck and jaw. I was unable to just about anything for a long, long time. Weight added due to inactivity. Muscle broke down. It was ridiculous.
I say all that to say that there are COUNTLESS reasons a person has weight gain, and it happens to people at every walk of life, sometimes very unexpectedly. In addition, medically speaking, the term obese and morbidly obese are ridiculous terms. If you were to meet me today you would not "see" obese, but if you read my chart you would and then your idea of me would change accordingly.
My advice (I have 24 years experience in the nursing field) is to look at each of your patients as a beautiful person with an issue that you may be able to help with. Realize that 99% of the people you will encounter have a life history that has led them to whatever point they are at today. 99% of people are insecure about how they look, even when they seem to fit society's view of perfection. Make your patient feel important just by actually speaking to and LISTENING to them.
Good luck
(PS...there are MANY other factors that applied to this journey for me, but I could literally write a book, as I am sure most of us can.)

well i didn't read everyones responses but by now you can figure out that alot of different factors play into it. sometimes its a medical condition, sometimes its a depression issue, sometimes its how you were raised. there are a ton of reasons why someone lets them self get to my point.

Myself, i grew up in a home with two parents and two other brothers. My family wasn't dirt poor, but by no means rich. they struggled most of the time but managed to keep a roof over my head and feed me most meals a day. being a kid i was a very picky eater. (still am for the most part) my mom did the shopping and as a woman who was VERY SKINNY as a young adult, she is now over weight. lack of exercise, and lack of a good diet have played a major roll into her weight along with a few medical issues. She would buy whats cheap and what would not go bad in a week. (processed foods) we ate alot of speghetti and soups. alot of stuff cooked on the stove top in alot of grease. growing up i was always chunky, but it wasn't until i was older that i put on weight. i also never looked at nutrition labels. So until recently i didn't know what a proper serving size was. i would look at a 20 ounce bottle of sprite and say theres no way someone drinks this is 2 and a half sittings. or after my second heaping plate of speghetti covered in sprinkle cheese, i wouldn't realize i just took in my daily calories never mind the two huge greasy slices of pizza i had for lunch or the fast food i would have had for lunch.

im a guy who loves food. i love the way it tastes, i love the textures of most foods, i love the smell of foods. I would eat out alot because thats what i was use to (my mom worked at a wendy's) and it was quick and easy. For a single guy or even a couple its tough to cook for just one or two people and its much easier to stop at a fast food joint and have them do it. I TOOK THAT TO THE EXTREME as i have written in a blog about my old habits.

I would also say that when you start dating someone long term you tend to get comfy with that person. For two people who are busy and rarely see each other or are rarely home we would fall into my parents rut and buy processed foods that we could microwave and throw on a bun and eat before relaxing on the couch for the rest of the night.

People like my parents and some of my family members tell me its too expensive to eat healthy. But it doesn't have to be. there are plenty of cheap recipes and foods that you can eat. You dont have to eat salad every meal and you dont have to have fresh veggies. get the frozen steamers and make up some chicken breasts.

serving sizes are a big one for me. I know several people who when they see what a proper serving size is they say, wow how do you only eat that or i cant believe how much more i am eating then what im suppose to be eating. but society is set up in such a way to make money, not to be healthy. new york or new jersey i believe all restraunts have calorie counts next to each menu item. that way you know what you are eating as you are ordering. Thats a great thing that should be every where. Places like mcdonalds and wendys would go out of business by doing this because when people see they are about to scarf down 1000 calorie hamburger and 800 calorie fry they might think twice. why do they do it then? why does wendys offer a triple with a biggie fry and large coke? because it costs them little to make but they make alot of money off of it. and PEOPLE BUY IT.

Sometimes i would eat out of boredom, or depression. on those days that you just feel blah and you are hating yourself or down on yourself. well i would eat. never thinking about what i was putting in my mouth, just that i knew i had to kill the pain somehow and food helped.

i am starting to see a change in society and its for the better. society is starting to evolve into a healthier lifestyle i believe. i see more and more people out walking and running and eating healthier then i did in the past. maybe its just because im doing those things so i see those types of people more than the 50 car pile up at mcdonalds. who knows, but thats how i became overweight. i dont like it, i dont expect anyone else to like it. Im changing it for me and me only.

Here is my unprofessional personal theory speaking as someone who was obese, though not morbidly so.

I did not realize I was eating too much.

Over the years I ran and lifted weights, I practiced martial arts, ran marathons, hiked, skied, and biked. Over the decades the weight piled on. I kept on working out harder and harder thinking I would lose the weight but it kept growing. I tried various diets, lost, then gained, lost, then gained, the typical yo-yo story. At age 48 I finally reached my peak of 171 lbs. at 5’1″. I had chronic back pain, low thyroid, and adrenal fatigue. I kept working out and running one marathon after the next thinking maybe this time it will work. Nope, the weight stayed on. Everyone told me to give up; this is what happens when you get older.

Diets don't work because they are unsustainable and usually don't address the true issue which is eating too much. If you don't give yourself a break from eating your body never gets a chance to burn off excess fat. Oh and I was at my biggest weight when I was a 100% Organic Fanatic. Even 100% clean food will make you fat. Too much food is too much food.

.. to my horror my weight kept creeping up and I had to buy a bigger uniform even though I was working out as hard as ever. It didn't seem like I was eating too much. I don't pig out. I don't mindlessly eat. I don't binge. I just didn't get it. I thought something was wrong with my metabolism.

The rest of my story http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/740340-i-lost-60-lbs-at-age-51-anyone-can-any-workout

I think as a nurse, you can't look for answers in generalities. My reasons for "letting my self go" and the next person's reasons can and probably will be 2 different ones. Empathy - listen to your patient, and never, ever judge and you'll "get it" soon enough.

To be honest, I don't really see anything wrong with being fat. I know it isn't the healthiest way to be but then people do lots of things that aren't healthy like smoking, drinking or driving their cars too fast.

I personally was always fat, and spent my childhood being terrified by school nurses and community health centres who constantly put a negative message on me that basically I was a hideous, unlovable child who was going to grow up into an ugly unlovable woman if I didn't become slim like everyone else. I began to hate the medical profession and when I got to being a teenager and had boys fancy me and tell me they loved me, I realised that everything they had told me was a lie, and that I could be anything I wanted to be.

Now I want to lose weight because I enjoyed being thinner and because I feel more confident in sexy clothes. But it's not a question of letting myself get fat, I've always been fat. Frankly I'm sick of feeling ashamed about it. I refuse to visit any health or medical professionals as they will almost certainly attempt to shame me about my weight and emotionally manipulate me into doing what they think I should do. So basically my advice to you is that you don't have to understand why your patients are a bigger weight than you would choose to be, you only need to recognise that they are human beings who have the right to be whatever weight they want. If they ask you for help, then use your medical knowledge to assist them, otherwise listen to their health concerns, treat them with dignity and don't try to blame every illness they have on their size. You are not Jillian Michaels, it's not your job to get me to lose weight!

I am sure there is more to it than this, but for me a big part of it was:
- A mother that cooked unhealthy foods, told me I was fat, rewarded with food and critisied almost everything I did resulted in a chubby rebellious teen who continued to reward herself with food - Despite having now lost 56lbs she still has not said a word about my weight loss, but hey, lets not go there!! I now reward myself with anything but food, I try to praise my kids (not always easy at times) and never reward them with food.
- I never really let my size be an issue for me or any one else, as far as I was concerned I was Helen, not the fat friend. I learnt to dive, tried flying, windsurf, kayak, fell in and out of love, got married, had kids, secured a successful career and slowly got bigger - apart from the size of the clothes nothing changed.

Nothing much as changed, I am still Helen, still married, still a mum, still have a successful career and am still learning new things - but the clothes are now getting smaller

I guess not "seeing" yourself. You are stressed, depressed, busy, you put on a few pounds and you think.. "oh, no I have put on a bit of weight".

Then you proceed in not taking pictures of yourself, not going for clothes shopping very often, not trying new things that you know they are going to be unflattering (like new clothes, exercise, running etc) , not going out too much etc. You think, "I have put on a few pounds on, and when this phase is over, I will start eating properly".

When this phase is over and you come out of your 'hole' you realise it is not just a few pounds it is much more and therefore it is much more difficult to do anything about it. You try a bit, you fail and then you proceed as before.

I think that is how it works - at least in my mind

For me my weight gain started when I was a kid. My family is all obese or ateast overweight and food was a big part of our lives. We didn't eat healthy, it was mostly fried foods and high calorie treats. In high school I was diagnosed with ptsd and moderate depression. I won't lie I turned to food. I wasn't even aware of how big I had gotten because at the time I was just going through the motions of life. I had been bullied and abuse mentally and physically because of my weight at home and in publicand at one point I just gave up. When I got help I was nearing 300lbs but it wasn't until I got my head together that I could heal my body. There are a lot of different reasons people become obese and that's one reason I vowed never to judge a person based on weight because I don't know their personal story.

For me it was procrastination. I was always a little overweight but I noticed it getting worse. But that was okay because it was only down to the stress of moving house, or of starting a new job, or of doing my MSc and once that was done I'd deal with it. But there was always something else to put it off for. When I got on the scales and the BMI indicator told me I was now obese, (after swearing a lot) I finally decided the only time to do something about it was now.

I think they just don't care and it's disgusting.

You're a pastry chef. I therefore label you 'part of the problem'. :laugh:

Seriously, 'they' care, they just gave up for longer than you did to gain your extra 50.

First, the definition of obesity is very vague as a person my size (5'1" and 205) is "morbidly obese" even though i'm porportionate.. and ive never put on 300 pounds.. but at some point you stop caring.. and you use food as your wall to keep yourself from being hurt. some of it is genetics.. as i've always been the bigger girl in all my classes. also, i wasn't taught proper food habits. so there's many factors that are different for everybody..

^^^This

I use to be real small a size as a teenager but I starved myself I would only eat once a week and I got real sick , I also worked out
4 times a week the muscle caused me to gain some weight then I started eating a little more and was working out 3 times a day
in the morning , during lunch, and before bedtime my leg muscles got so big muscle wise that I had to start wearing slacks instead of jeans. Then one day during one of my two hr work outs I pulled the muscles in my gut lower abs, and my ablics
so bad I had to stay wrapped up and the Dr said if I didn't stop working out I wouldn't able to have kids cause my i pulled my
muscles so bad they wouldn't carry a baby to term.
Then My mom told me that if I ever had kids I would get big cause it is in the genes in our family , I thought she didn't know what she was talking about after my first son i was able to loose most of my weight that I gained during my first pregnancy but after my
second child i developed a hypothyroid disease the smallest i was able to get down to was 195 pounds change my diet and exercise program up and still could not get below 195 I was working 50 to 60 hrs a week and taking care of two lil boys and a house and going to aerobics when I could but still was not able to get below 195 pounds .
It not always in there control . I finally went to a Dr that did a bunch of test on me and he told me I had a horomone imbalance and I would never be small again until I was able to get that straighten out and I asked him to help me and he told me he didn't know how to help me except to put me on thyroid meds but it was going to take more then that to do the trick but he said it was not in his hands to do and he didn't have the education to help to do what I need done and wished me luck.
So have you ever consider some people its out of there hands that there is a medical reason of why there big, Or a mental issue like depression and people making fun of them and looking at them like there grose that makes give up and not want to try to help themselves and they seek deeper in depression.

I am morbidly obese. A little less than 2 months ago, I was 6' 1" and 478 pounds. I am still 6' 1", but weigh 440 pounds headed down to 220 or so. I can't speak for all card carrying members of the Morbidly Obese club. I can only speak for me.

FOR ME, its as simple as Pavlov's dogs. As a child, I learned a connection between feeling full and feeling comforted and loved. When I filled my belly, endorphins kicked in and made me feel happy and satisfied. That accounts for about 60% of my excess weight. Twenty years ago, I was stuck in a burning skyscraper. I was on the 34th floor and the fire was on the 4th floor. I almost died. In the year after that, I gained another 100 or so pounds.

The heavier I got, the more sedentary I got. I reached the point this summer when I realized that I was circuiting between my recliner, my dining room chair, my computer chair, my office chair and my minivan driver's seat. I knew that if I didn't get moving on my own, the time was quickly approaching when I would sit down and never get up again. Then I found this place.

Two months ago, I could barely walk slowly for 10 minutes without stopping. Now, I can walk 3 to 3.5 miles per hour for 50 minutes without stopping. Not exactly running a marathon, but YOU try strapping on two 125 pound plates and doing what YOU do every day. I'll bet it's a bit tiring. I don't say this to generate sympathy, but rather, understanding.

I believe that I have experienced the success that I have so far because of the supportive connection that I have with several members of MFP. Their words and messages of caring and support have eliminated my long ingrained connection between eating and happiness. Now, I experience a new connection between eating within my calories plus regular exercise and happiness. I am eating less, and mostly healthier, exercising more, and happier than I have been in a very long time.

Does this help?

Scott R.