Please don't be offended...

As a nurse myself, I can tell you how I personally "let" myself become obese.
First, it was happiness. You first find that special someone, you are in love, you are happy, you eat and enjoy each other's company. I am not blaming my husband, but he enjoyed baking and I loved eating it.

Then, it was depression. I just did not care at all about my weight. I had other more serious issues going on and food was my comfort.

From a spouse's point of view, pain can be a culprit. Chronic pain leads to depression. Depending on the way you were raised and previous environmental influences, food is a common way to suppress all the feelings of "hurt."

I try to focus about the why it happened. I try to help my patients focus on the how to fix it. It's so much easier now that I actually care myself. Even those struggling with weight loss, when they come in I find something encouraging to say. A lot of times they don't loose weight, but they don't gain either. We turn that into a victory. Focus on the now, not the then.

As a student, always be listening and observing and not judging.

Food is my happy place and I go there often. I don't know any other happy place.
When I look in the mirror, I don't really see my fat.
That is how I "let" myself get overweight.

For me personally, I used food as a coping mechanism the way others use drugs or alcohol. So although it wasn't a conscious thought, I chose food addiction over drug or alcohol addiction as a means of dealing with depression. As a child I was taught often about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, but there was really very little regarding the dangers of overeating. The extent of their education of nutrition was teaching us the 4 food groups.


In my opinion, food addiction is so much more difficult to deal with than the others. Please do not think that I am saying dealing with alcohol or drug addiction is easy. They do not take alcoholics and say "please just drink a little bit 3 to 4 times a day", they say to avoid it altogether. That is impossible option when dealing with food addiction. Of course, a person can identify and avoid foods they are especially prone to overeat, but that does not address the overall problem. Overcoming food addiction can be done, but it is a process of redefining ones relationship with food.

Winner; Winner give this man a chicken dinner.

For me it is also society has set us up to believe that there are perscribed times we have to eat meals; when we were a society that was tending the fields; hunting and gathering we needed that structuer. In todays society where we are driving the miles, sitting at desks getting our foods from a store we need to listen more to our bodies and figure out what type of meal plan is right for you personally.

I am going to answer this because I am a nurse and morbidly obese. There are a lot of reasons why I am obese. I am an emotional eater, I love food and didn't like to exercise and I have never made myself my priority. As you will quickly learn, when you get home from work you will be drained... Somedays emotionally as well as physically. I cam say truthfully, "I let myself go." As you go through your clinicals and begin to practice you will see that there are a lot of conditions that can effect weight. Get to know your patients and take care of yourself. You will be a better nurse because of it. Best wishes!

I love how skinny people, people that have been thin their whole life speculate on here. Why am I fat (335 lbs)s? I like food and I don't like to exercise. I am I lazy? Do I eat, 2 sausage biscuits and 3 hash browns for breakfast, 3 burgers for lunch, 2 large pizza's for dinner and guzzle it all down with soda? Nope. I work in recreation so I am fairly active at work, my house is clean albeit cluttered, and I enjoy the outdoors. I do eat large portions, as in 12 oz steaks or 12 oz chicken breasts with a large scoop of a starch, veggies, a side salad (with a little dressing, I hate salads drowned in dressing!) and wash it down with a water or unsweet tea (can't stand sweet tea). A smoothie, a whole sandwich, chips, and a cookie at lunch. Bowl of "healthy"cereal for breakfast. Do I know how to eat healthy? Yep. Been fat my whole life, since I was born. I know how to diet, started when I was 8. I loathe it! I hate the fact that I can't eat like other people and not exercise but I gain weight.

My point is, when people that have high metabolisms (or whatever it is that keeps you thinner (size 12 and under and what ever the equivalent is for guys) without much effort), look at fat people (250 lbs +) they are like "ugh, how do they do that to themselves". Well some of us are just being normal, but our bodies don't metabolize like yours do. My thyroid's been tested, I've been tested for strange diseases that are making me fat and nothing. If I want to lose weight I have to eat under 1.500 calories a day and exercise regularly, and I have to do it for the rest of my life. Well that sounds like a crappy deal to me. Am I going to do it? Yes, because unfortunately obesity causes other health risks (so does eating poorly even if you are rail thin), I like to travel, I haven't been able to go on a roller coaster for years (I love roller coasters), and I want to get pregnant.

So please don't be offended when I give you a dirty look while your shoveling in carbs and sitting on the coach watching the Kardashians not gaining an ounce! Could this anger possibly come from being tormented my whole life for being fat? Yep. Did I get made fun of daily all throughout school 1st grade to twelfth? Yep. Do I get told at least hourly how horrible it is to be a fat person by society? Yep. I think you can understand why this may offend and upset me. But ya know what, life isn't fair so I'll just suck it up and move on.

I'm with ya..I want to say to those skinny people that make comments bout being lazy etc, "Put down that milk shake you get to have every day,never eat it again,get up every day at 5;30 and work out like crazy for an hour ..having to be constantly aware of what you eat, when you eat it and how much... for the rest of your life" Hummm didn't think so. So ThAT in itself shows whos lazy. So they got lucky don't rub it in..

I was an undiagnosed hyperinsulinemic based on extensive review of my entire medical history. As a child, these dark patches developed on my neck, my inner thighs, my under-arm areas. I was a very active kid growing up... we were always outside, playing hard. We had almost two acres of land, half of which was a thick forest with a couple of trails. Often it was difficult to get my sister and I to come back inside - we were always playing, roughhousing with our friends, etc. My father was abusive on many levels, as well as my mother.... one of which was "clean your plate"... I remember the stomach pains getting worse and worse from eating all of that food, the full glass of milk, the tons of bread, junk foods in the house, etc..

As I got older and just about to hit puberty, my weight continued to increase, skin problems, but I still remained active. The dark patches of skin got worse. I was seen by a Registered Dietician who was the most horrible and nasty woman I had ever met. I felt so degraded at age 13 by the words she used: lazy, didnt care, would rather sit on the couch and do nothing. It was SOOOOOOOOO not true at all. If she only knew of the volleyball net we had set up, the number of times we played volleyball, badminton, had a basket ball net set up and was used... We had plenty of kids coming over to play with us for several hours a day.. I was crushed. At 13, my parents divorced, father was arrested for the abuse he caused, but it didnt get better with my mother.

I saw dermatologist who accused me of being the problem. I saw Pediatricians who said lay off the junk food. Fast forward through high school graduation - at age 18, I was pregnant and declared an extremely high risk patient. I was harassed by the OB about my food intake... I had done my best to make all the necessary food-changes and choices, but my blood pressure was skyrocketing daily. I was preclampsic/toxemic and bed-ridden for the last six months of my pregnancy. I further was bedridden for an additional 3 months after having an emergency C-section. Thos dark patches were black...... very black....

Age 19, I decided that I was still going to continue with medical school. I went for a big program for medical assistants - a very aggressive course for those that wanted to be exposed to as many medical specialties as possible. The first one on my list was OB: I needed to learn for myself the things that should be done/tested, etc. And my eyes awoken. I was never tested for Diabetes or Insulin Resistance. There is a test called Glucose Tollerance Test (GTT) where you sit at the MD's office for a few hours and you drink this nasty overly sweet-chalky-substance of hell, and you have your blood drawn. I NEVER HAD THE DAMN TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I broke down and cried... this whole time for the first 19 years of my life, Ive been mentally battered that it was my fault... Age 22, I was formally tested and diagnosed with Hyperinsulinemia, Metabolic Syndrome, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Alopecia, and because the insulin was so bad, I developed Hepatitis. Age 22!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The past 16 years, I have had to do so much research in my conditions because there were not enough specialists in my area of New Hampshire that knew enough about this. I found an Endocrinologist a few years back who I still see today... the only thing she cant diagnose is the 'type' of metabolic disorder - despite my having an extremely healthy thyroid.

I have managed to drop over 40lbs under her care in one year.... but, its harder for patients like me. Its easier for me to understand the doctors because Ive been working in healthcare for about 17 years now.. and I love my work. I use my clinical background to do aggressive appeals to insurance companies to help get claims paid. Im an advanced medical reimbursement specialist with a background in government-related plans. I spent a good time working for Medicare and now I work for a 300+ physician network in southern New Hampshire and I absolutely love my job.

Sorry for the length, but wanted to share my story.....

Not all of us are obese on purpose... I had really bad parents who didnt get me the healthcare I needed, and found MD's/RN's and RD's who were downright jerks...

For my height I was considered morbidly obese, how did I let myself get like that? Because in my mind I was just over weight, I didn't think I looked as bad as I did, I was in denial, and honestly I don't think I cared. Why? Because I didn't care about myself, I didn't love myself, I was depressed due to not having much of a life outside my house and just didn't care. Food is what made me happy, Food is what I leaned on when I was sad or angry, food was also my best friend and I was in control of what went into my mouth.

that's more of a psychology and sociology question. probably for a host of reasons, but question why / how people become so addicted to gambling that they lose all their money, or addicted to meth, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. people tend to do that. it happens.

yea....

I think they just don't care and it's disgusting.

You're a pastry chef. I therefore label you 'part of the problem'. :laugh:

Seriously, 'they' care, they just gave up for longer than you did to gain your extra 50.

Now I. Love. You. :flowerforyou:

There are many reasons. I don't think anyone makes a real conscious choice to do that...I mean really..who would? There can be medical factors, metabolic disorders, etc that contribute. Most of the time there is a psychological reason. A food addiction is like any other. The person that is an addict is somehow using their drug of choice (in this case, rich comfort foods) to cover some kind of emotional distress. I think you will find that most people that are overweight can tell you more or less why they overeat. Thats one reason I think that "diets" don't work in the long run. You will eventually revert back to your addictive behavior unless you tackle the problem of *why* you are self-medicating with food. You have to work on the "head stuff" just as much as the body or else you will most likely fail in the long run.

I have been overweight my whole life i lost it all at 21 and lost it all again after my 1st child but having my second child along with my father becoming sick and passing added on way too much weight. I never lost the weight from my son and once my dad passed I could care less and ate to stop the hurting. While it worked for the time being I am more unhappy now. Now comes down to me getting my butt in gear (which I have not for the past 2 years ) and work hard at the addiction to food I have.Unlike other addictions I can t cut food out completely so its a daily struggle.

I am 5'1 220lbs. My heaviest was 227lbs, and I never binged or used food as comfort.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was 139, and it was actually very difficult to put any weight on. I only got up to 146 and my doctor was constantly yelling at me.
I got pregnant with my 2nd child exactly 13 months after the first was born. I was a little heavier, 152, and put on only 4lbs during that pregnancy. Doctor was again yelling at me every visit.
My third child was conceived barely 3 months after giving birth to my second. I still had a hard time putting on weight and I was very sick with this one, too, I actually lost weight, going down to 133.
I had complications with the pregnancy, a rare condition that caused all amniotic fluid to be absorbed, and was never replenished. The baby had no protection inside the womb, and I was put on bed rest at 3 months into my pregnancy because of it.
Other than going to the hospital twice a week to see if the baby was still alive or if it was "time" to extract the baby, I was in bed for 6 long months. My weight eventually started to rise from 133 and before I knew it, I was 180. The doctor was happy, and I was happy to not be getting yelled at anymore. I figured it would come off fairly easy once I had the baby as I am naturally very active...
So, I had the baby, and after a week went by, I felt I could get up and move around (had a c section) with minimal pain, so I set into doing what I normally did before, starting with cleaning my house.
As I was vacuuming the day I started, I started feeling pains like never before and knew they weren't from the c-section. I had had 2 previous c-sections, so I was pretty familiar with those pains.
I ended up going to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning, and was rushed in for emergency surgery. Apparently I had had a hernia I didn't know about and it caused my bowel to strangulate. They had to remove and repair several areas of my bowel, and I was informed that to attempt to avoid a repeat occurrence, I should try to avoid all leafy greens and several other things as they are rough on the system and can build up etc etc. (My typical lunch at that point was always a garden fresh salad with tons of different greens...)
After being released from the hospital, I was re-admitted 4 times in the next several weeks for infections, not only from this new incision, but also from my c-section site as my body was not able to fight off and heal both, it seemed.

I was weak and in constant pain for months, but I did manage to get up and moving a little. I was very careful, though. I gave up trying to ride my bike anymore, drove everywhere instead of walking, and we moved to a home that had no stairs, partly for the kids, partly because it hurt me to constantly walk up and down them.

I didn't care about losing the weight anymore, I just wanted to be left alone. I was taking care of my kids just fine, and I didn't go out anymore, so who cared what I looked like in my favorite outfit.

Husband became abusive, to me and the kids, my marriage ended with me taking the kids and leaving, and then all my energy was put into hiding in the house as much as possible, because I never knew if it would be one of "those" days where he would decide everything in his life that went bad was my fault and come looking for me. I didn't want him to find me when I was out walking with the kids etc.

About a year after the divorce, my appendix ruptured, and I was in the hospital again. The doctors had to carve my stomach from my pubic line all the way up to my breastbone, because there was so much scar tissue in my stomach from having 4 other surgeries there, they couldn't get to my appendix.

It took over a year to heal from that, and I looked at the records and was shocked to see I was 227lbs! I finally decided that I don't care if it kills me, I am going to do something about it. (Besides, the way my record was going, something else would kill me anyway. I might as well look good and feel good when it does.)

Along with all these things, I have rheumatoid arthritis effecting my ankles, low bloodpressure, extreme water retention, and a few things I can't spell.....

So yeah... I "let" myself become morbidly obese. I really hate that most people who don't have weight issues seem to believe it's a choice to be made.

I was overweight as a child mum equated food with love and you didnt love her if you didnt finish every meal We did have healthy food just far too much of it had three cooked meals a day with meat and potatoes and veg as the basis of our diet. Followed by pudding or starting with soup, I am a good 40lbs to heavy now having lost 24 lbs already trouble is I dont eat enough now and cant take exercise to improve my appetite. I eat about 700 calories per day if I dont eat sweet things. I now have a little plate eat half portions of meat with a normal portion of veg and a carb either potato,pasta or rice I do eat loads of fruit as I am anemic so need iron pills the veg and fruit keeps me going naturally
I would like to lose another 14 lbs to start with

Long winded answer that boils down to it is a combination of nature & nuture, and how the two intertwine. IMHO
Cliff {:{)

^^^This

Also - I'm sorry for your loss, and congratulations on your own progress on MFP.

Weight gain just happen over a period of time . Before you know it you are out of control . But what triggers it , is different response for everyone . But once a person reach the true inner being , then life is great for them . But with with everything in life all good things comes to the end, the question has to be answer one day by the person who is struggling with trying to lose the weight . Moderation is the key to success . On a personal note, I ate what I wanted in moderation not everyday off the grid , but I did enjoy my new lifestyle . I started off high 380
Pounds size 30 now I'm a size 12, size 10 shoes now a size 8 . Exercising was the key factor for me .