Please don't be offended...
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You're a little chubby and it makes you feel embarrassed. You don't want to join a team or play sports because you don't want to be the chubby one. You're reluctant to play outside and swim or run or whatever because you feel uncomfortable and you don't want any of your friends to laugh at you. So you say you don't like to do those things, and you stay inside and you get chubbier. And you don't want to look at the scale because the last time you looked at it you had put on five pounds even after you thought you were trying hard to diet and eat fruit or whatever the latest thing is. So you stop looking at the scale. And you get a bit sad every time you buy new jeans and they're a size up, but by now you don't want to look at the scale at all because you're sure you've put on 15 pounds at least by now, and that would break your heart. So you resolve to start eating healthier and once your clothes get looser you'll look at the scale at last. But that resolution kind of slips away and years pass and the weight creeps on slowly but steadily.0
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You're a little chubby and it makes you feel embarrassed. You don't want to join a team or play sports because you don't want to be the chubby one. You're reluctant to play outside and swim or run or whatever because you feel uncomfortable and you don't want any of your friends to laugh at you. So you say you don't like to do those things, and you stay inside and you get chubbier. And you don't want to look at the scale because the last time you looked at it you had put on five pounds even after you thought you were trying hard to diet and eat fruit or whatever the latest thing is. So you stop looking at the scale. And you get a bit sad every time you buy new jeans and they're a size up, but by now you don't want to look at the scale at all because you're sure you've put on 15 pounds at least by now, and that would break your heart. So you resolve to start eating healthier and once your clothes get looser you'll look at the scale at last. But that resolution kind of slips away and years pass and the weight creeps on slowly but steadily.
I am with you on this 100%0 -
I think also (coming back to this thread) a lot of people don't see overweight AS overweight. People think that what is technically overweight as the norm, and don't see themselves as getting a bit podgy until they are technically obese. I have heard so so many times people explaining their weight saying they are "big boned", I think the majority of people actually don't see themselves as overweight and think they are normal and BMI is a load of rubbish.0
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I was never obese, but was heavier 15 kg a year ago. For me it's "Ill start my diet next Monday" thing.
I always postponed to next monday and let the weight creep on0 -
There are a lot of factors that play into why I gained weight. But something that I recently figured out, is that I use my weight as form of "protection". I have gone through a traumatic event, and since then, I find myself hiding behind the weight. If I am too fat, people won't be interested in me. My risk of other traumatic events decreases. If that makes any sense. It is a way for me to keep people at bay. But I am trying to learn that I can STILL keep myself safe, in other ways, while being more healthy. I just have to learn to trust myself.
And depression played a large part of it, too. I simply stopped caring. Food was about the only thing I enjoyed anymore. And let's not even get into the self-punishment aspect of it. I didn't deserve to be healthy or attractive.0 -
For me personally, I used food as a coping mechanism the way others use drugs or alcohol. So although it wasn't a conscious thought, I chose food addiction over drug or alcohol addiction as a means of dealing with depression. As a child I was taught often about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, but there was really very little regarding the dangers of overeating. The extent of their education of nutrition was teaching us the 4 food groups.
In my opinion, food addiction is so much more difficult to deal with than the others. Please do not think that I am saying dealing with alcohol or drug addiction is easy. They do not take alcoholics and say "please just drink a little bit 3 to 4 times a day", they say to avoid it altogether. That is impossible option when dealing with food addiction. Of course, a person can identify and avoid foods they are especially prone to overeat, but that does not address the overall problem. Overcoming food addiction can be done, but it is a process of redefining ones relationship with food.
Winner; Winner give this man a chicken dinner.
For me it is also society has set us up to believe that there are perscribed times we have to eat meals; when we were a society that was tending the fields; hunting and gathering we needed that structuer. In todays society where we are driving the miles, sitting at desks getting our foods from a store we need to listen more to our bodies and figure out what type of meal plan is right for you personally.
In the past we only had one meal a day. This three meal thing is a very modern phenomenon. Hunter-gatherer societies, right through to the 1500s - all had just one meal a day.0 -
I have always been just overweight, and i had issues with loosing weight in the past because i used to just think i needed to eat all the time. I wasnt even hungry!! I just used to crave the food.... so i used to gorge myself on anything. I used to finish off my husbands food if he left any, even if i was so full i felt like i could bust!! When i started MFP i soon realised that it was just all in my head, and that i really didnt need to eat more than i needed. I have been so successful on here, its definately changed the way i feel about food. Some people have a bigger issue with food though, one of my friends eats because he feels depressed, but hes morbidly obese now. Its not as easy for some people to realise what they are doing to themselves. Im very lucky that i soon knew understood the damage i was causing myself. Im now at a normal weight thank goodness xx0
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This is so true!You're a little chubby and it makes you feel embarrassed. You don't want to join a team or play sports because you don't want to be the chubby one. You're reluctant to play outside and swim or run or whatever because you feel uncomfortable and you don't want any of your friends to laugh at you. So you say you don't like to do those things, and you stay inside and you get chubbier. And you don't want to look at the scale because the last time you looked at it you had put on five pounds even after you thought you were trying hard to diet and eat fruit or whatever the latest thing is. So you stop looking at the scale. And you get a bit sad every time you buy new jeans and they're a size up, but by now you don't want to look at the scale at all because you're sure you've put on 15 pounds at least by now, and that would break your heart. So you resolve to start eating healthier and once your clothes get looser you'll look at the scale at last. But that resolution kind of slips away and years pass and the weight creeps on slowly but steadily.0 -
A lot of factors depending on the person:
as said above:
Depression
Environment
Experiences
Post Partum (for women after childbirth)
A surgery that laid you up for months
Medical issues such as thyroidism
Genetics!
Addiction (I was unknwing addicted to Mountain Dew since I was 15)
And Consider the food industry......Look at all the pre packaged food, chemicals, enhancers etc they put in food and now the healthy alternatives such as fruit, veggies is WAY more expensive for less fortunate.
Uneducated: This comes from the partents who cook unhealthy. I have a friend who son think pizza rolls are healthy. I asked him what his favorite veggie was he said "an apple".......enough said.
Retaurant portions: As said in earlier post people were taught eat everything on your plate well now the plate are 20% bigger and portions are out of control. So in reality in a restaurant your eat 2 meals at once!.
Diet fads: Most diets dont work and make people gain weight back plus some. Take atkins diet = no carbs. Well you have to eat no carbs the rest of your life becuase if you fall off the diet you gain weight.
Displine......or the lack thier of
I could go on and on My state is one of leading states of obeseity
. If you think about it if they didnt have the kinds of foods they have now we would be a lot better off. All we have to do is simplify....not cook for convienence. The HYPE is the middle of the grocery store. Observe when you shop where people go. I stay on the outside and when done go through the dog food isle for nothing temps me. lol 0 -
It's easier to eat what you want when you went and as much as you want than it is to diet.
Denial is a big factor. at last for me it was.0 -
Bump0
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In my case... laziness, greed, ignorance and a lifetime of unhealthy eating habits influenced by my parents'.0
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I am morbidly obese, and I am thoroughly ashamed of myself for being the size i am but it has come about through a number of issues:
Bullying at School - when i was size 12
Depression following the death of my Grandmother
Comfort Eating
University Life
Home Life
Being happy with my current partner and not paying to attantion to the number of takeaways we were having
At various stages i have tried diets and exercises etc but each time i have had to report to my parents of the results and face their dispproval when i have only lost 2lbs in a week or even 0lbs in a week - each failure led to more eating and putting on more weight than i had originally lost.
It piles up and piles up until 1 day the Doctor says 'you are now at a size where we would be recommending surgery' because your blood pressure is dangerously high.
I have to do it this time because i am risking my life if i don't, and i will do it without my parents involvement and with the support and love of my boyfriend and his parents - and The Hairy Bikers because their diet book is amazing!! Lol
I'm not saying oh wo is me, no one understood me and its their fault im fat - it is my fault i am fat and no one elses.0 -
1. Lifestyle: They grew up eating food, and lots of it. It doesn't even have to be "junk" food, they just consume way too many calories because that is what they have always done. I had a couple of friends like this. I could easily be this person too, but was blessed with a decent metabolism and now I just know better.
2. Depression: Some people use food to fill a void and to make themselves feel better. They also quit caring about their appearance, they think they aren't worth it.... so why put in the effort to exercise and work off what they are eating.
3. The weight came on for various reasons and it's just too hard to get it back off: Be it pregnancy, something medical came up (surgery, sickness) that made them gain weight. Again, its too hard to get it off so that individual just accepts who they are now and moves on with life.
It's a combination of the three for me, especially the top one, but not at all helped by the second one. And, as the third one says, I just accepted it as who I was and it just built up and up.
I was aware that I needed to lose weight for a while and my mum was constantly nagging me about it, but just didn't know /how/ to do it - and, well, I also just didn't /want/ to, I didn't /care/ to, and I thought it would be an inconvenience to do all that 'diet stuff'. Plus, on top of that, I was embarrassed - I didn't want to admit to people that I had a problem.
The turning point was when my 'big day' jeans became my everyday jeans, and then got too tight. That's when I knew the time was right for me to do something about it... and now that I'm much more aware of how to eat I'm finding it easier than I ever imagined it to be.
The fact that I'm feeling great about myself helps, too! If I feel great now after losing 25lbs, knowing how fantastic I'll look and feel when I'm even lighter is motivation enough to keep me going!0 -
For me it's easy.....stress.
I'm an emotional eater. I get stressed. I eat, I'm sad I eat, I'm tired I eat.
For years, I struggled with my weight, after a while I just quit the struggle and gave up on myself. After that, the pounds pilled on and the more they did the less I cared about me. It was a vicious circle,The more I gain weight, the more I was sad,the more I would eat and it would start all over again.
I now have 150lbs to lose. I'm determined not to stop giving up on myself, this place works wonders.
If I have one big thing I would say to you, don't judge someone who is overweight. I find that more often than not, that person is stuck in a bad circle. They need surroundings that will encourage then to step out of the circle, to celebrate the little changes as if they were mountains because with each step taken, its one step closer to reaching their goal weight. Remind the person just how big a pound lost is, how moving more is making a difference, that it took them years to gain the weight, it shouldn't take weeks or months to lose it all.0 -
Just my own personal timeline but...
Firstly - ignorance. I went from being extremely (insanely) active (full time physical job and running a small holding...50 goats, three horses, four pigs and chickens, it was a lot of water/hay lifting and mucking out) didn't drive so walked EVERYWHERE... to being a student sat on bottom most of time. I didn't adjust my eating/exercise for my change in lifestyle.
Secondly - filling a void/depression. Eating made me feel temporarily happy and at peace.
Thirdly - having children didn't help, then feeding. I was assured that feeding would help me lose the baby weight, I found that with constantly hungry babies not only was I hungry but, I was sat down feeding A LOT!
Fourthly - addiction and a spiral downwards that fed itself so to speak. I ate more to feel better, but got fat and didn't want to go out and be seen, so I ate more to make myself feel better, then felt ashamed so ate more...to feel better. The shame and guilt made me care less about myself which increased my tendency to eat. And round and round and round.
Sad but true, the problem with this is, although there will definitely be similarities, everybody here has their own individual story to tell, it's a personal thing and not something you can blanket diagnose or understand. The best way to address this with anyone is to get their own personal story, because it will be from that that you can help them find their way. This is a much a mental process as a physical one...and just like finger prints, no individuals story, thought processes or feelings will be exactly the same as anyone else.0 -
7 pages of answers. I guess similar cases as mine have already answered, but, in case...
I was not fat as a kid. really not. I put on a little weight as a teenager, mainly because I prefered reading in my air-conditioned room and snacking to having physical activity outside by 50°C, yet at 15, I was about 65 kg for 1m60. It made me round, but not really fat. Not obese anyway. And I did not really care.
Then, after seeing myself on video, I became really self-conscious about it. my mom was also worried that I would be fat - she's not, but my grandmother was and she had an history of dealing with that. I started trying to lose weight - but did it all wrong, eating less during meals and then getting snacks.
It was OK in high school because we had lots of activity in school, so my weight didn't change much then. but after that, I put on a little weight on all the time...
Contributing factors:
- My mom would - with all the best intentions - "help" me by looking at me a certain way when I would eat bread and butter or any snack. this was irritating and I ate all the more. I also took the habit of sneaking snacks away and eating the whole pack so that I could hide the remains
- I "tried" diets, but didn't really know how, and never lost much - and always took it back
- Through diets, I lost the ability to know when I had had enough or not. That was probably the worst.
- I was very self conscious and depressed about myself. therefore felt bad. therefore used food as a comfort.
it went like that for a long time. I did not put on weight when I was feeling happy in my life, I put on 15 pounds a year when I wasn't.
The best thing that helped me, before MFP, was the "GROS". A french group of doctors, praticians, dieteticians and so on that deal with fat people and state the obvious: that no food is "fattening" in itself, it's a matter of quantity. That variety is important. That one has to learn to listen to his/her body. That not everyone can be model-thin and the important thing is to reach an healthy weight, which will depend on your biology. That popular "diets" are most of the time depriving the body of important stuff, not to mention being socially complicated to follow, and that one has to change his habits - not depriving oneself of pleasures, but listening to hunger and caring about quantities.
Then I started MFP, mainly for the database and calorie count. I've dropped 20kg so far, so it's working for me. It's the biggest weight loss I've had so far, it was also the biggest I've ever been.
More importantly, it's the longest i've stuck to something.
The important thing though... My family, my doctors, my friends, have all more or less encouraged me to lose weight along the years. It never worked. More often than not, it would have contrary results, making me want to eat something, making me NOT go see a doctor, because whatever my problem was, there was a chance the doctor would mention my weight. I'm pretty sure overweight people don't see a doctor as often as others, because of the way a doctor will ALWAYS mention their weight, even if you go there for a flu.
The decision to change was mine, mine only. Just as the decision to quit smoking can't be made for someone else. I don't even have a clue to why, that day, I made that decision. But nobody's advice could have MADE me do it.0 -
Well, first off, when people start something off with "please don't be offended" usually the topic is designed to be offensive.
You speak of fat people as if we are a different species, as if we are vermin. That won't bring you to understanding. And I suspect any answer a "fattie" gives will sound like an excuse to you.
But, here it goes.
I was a thin child. Then my father began to sexually abuse me.
My mother was already physically abusing all of us.
Food was the one thing I could turn to that never hit me, never tried to harm me in any way. It just made me feel comforted. It was also the only thing I had any control over.
So, I gained a pound here and there and was a size 10 by junior high. I was also tall and larger framed than most of the girls I knew, so I didn't reallly look "fat". But, I began to diet. That gave me a sense of control too, but it was also a reaction to my father, you know, the one who thought I was there to be his plaything, calling me lovely names like "piggy wiggy porkchop" and constantly reinforcing that no one would ever love me. I'd diet and lose weight, then, as it began to show, the names would ramp up and the abuse would get worse. By this time my mother was long gone, leaving me at the mercy of my father.
I just bided my time and waited until the day I could leave home for college. And I learned to cook and eat delicious things.
I graduated at a size 18. And I still looked good. Actually, that was the size/weight that, when I look at pictures of myself, I really did look very nice. I never wanted to be a waiflike size 2, still don't.
College got me out of that house. I was free, I could choose who I spent time with, I could choose who I had sex with (and could decide if I even wanted to). Yet, I ate, because I was afraid. I couldn't trust anyone. If you can't trust your parents, how can you trust strangers who aren't supposed to give a rat's behind about you?
During college, I met a bunch of people who were trustworthy and who are still friends today, though I live far from them at this point. I also met my husband, who is my best friend.
My weight stabilized at about a size 16 (no clue how much I weighed at that point) and we were fine. We were married 9 years before we had our first child, our only daughter who died during labor at two weeks past my due date.
After that I simply didn't care. At. All. Once I passed the initial stages where I was to distraught to eat anything at all, I ate everything. I cooked for everyone, I just hid from everything, using my talent for cooking to mask my deep pain. My husband gained weight too, though his metabolism is better, he eats WAY more than I do and gains about a quarter of what I do.
Over the course of the last 14 years (since my daughter died), I've gone from a size 16 to a 28. It crept up over the years and I just didn't really care.
Now, I've got three living children, all boys, and I still suffer from bouts of depression.
I'm dieting and the weight is coming off slowly. I've made going to the gym a priority, which is making a bit more difference.
Yet, I'm still annoyed by people who think that being fat is a moral failing. Or people who look at those of us who are fat as vermin or as people who are unworthy of being treated with basic decency.0 -
This is a genuine question I am asking because I am very interested in obesity and morbid obesity, specifically WHY and HOW. I am also a nursing student, and I understand that factors X, Y, and Z play into obesity. But here is my question, and I would really appreciate honest answers from people who truly understand:
How does a person "let" himself or herself become so heavy? How and why does a person put on 300, 400, 500 pounds? I just do not understand and would really like to "get it" so in the future, as a nurse, I can better help those struggling with this issue.
Thank you
-Nicole0 -
Well, first off, when people start something off with "please don't be offended" usually the topic is designed to be offensive.
You speak of fat people as if we are a different species, as if we are vermin. That won't bring you to understanding. And I suspect any answer a "fattie" gives will sound like an excuse to you.
.......
Yet, I'm still annoyed by people who think that being fat is a moral failing. Or people who look at those of us who are fat as vermin or as people who are unworthy of being treated with basic decency.
NO. I do NOT speak of fat people in such a way, so please do not talk to me like you know me better than I know myself. Are you my God? No.
Secondly, I am fat. I was overweight a lot of my life. Right now I am in the healthy range for weight, but my BF% is too high.
Thirdly, I specifically came to this forum because I knew that there were people in this world who would like to help others understand the WHY and HOW, in real-life terms, of becoming obese and morbidly obese.
If you are so full of hate that anything, even a post such as this makes you angry, well then do not bother to ever respond to one of my posts again. I am not filled with hate, and I wish only the best to people trying to become healthier. Heck, that is a big reason as to why I want to be in the healthcare field.
And p.s. Perhaps the reason you are so quick to respond in such a hateful manner is the fact that you feel that way about yourself. If this is the case, I am so sorry, and I know what it is like to not love yourself. However, please do not take it out on others; get some help.0
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